Spoilers: A couple for Series 1 but nothing big
A/N: I think I got the idea from someone else who may have written something like these but I don't really remember. Sorry if it's your story! I don't mean to rip you off! This idea came to me on the plane trip to Thailand and wouldn't die.
A/N if you read That Great Love Sound: This is an offering! I have the next chapter coming up. It's almost done and I just need to edit it! Thanks for being patient!


It was Gwen's second week at Torchwood. The sex gas she inadvertently released was now a light joke in the Hub and Gwen took each jab with her head held high. She remembered teasing the trainees when she was a PC and knew that it was a ritual that had be performed.

The former police woman could now be seen reading a report on recent rift activity in an attempt to try and make sense of this new world when Ianto appeared out of nowhere.

"It seems we have a bit of a situation everyone." Ianto announced.

"Which is?"

"Jack's outing to pick up some 'harmless' rift debris has left him highly radioactive." The young Welshman announced in his cool, detached way.

"What?" Gwen shouted and jumped up "God! What are we going to do?"

"Calm down PC." Owen said while spinning around in his chair. Gwen took a good look at all her team members to find that none of them were too upset at the news.

"I helped clean him last time Owen. It's your turn." Tosh said while hardly looking away from her monitor.

"Then I call hose." Owen shouted back.

"I'll get the special loofa and broom then?" Ianto said to no one in particular and started to walk off. Still completely confused, Gwen stood up, staring at the two remaining team members who went back to their work.

"Wha-what's going to happen?" She managed to get out.

"Quality team bonding." Came the smooth answer of Owen.

Forty-five minutes later, Gwen was wearing a hazmat suit and scrubbing her currently naked boss with a broom

'I'm going to bloody love this job.' She thought to herself, relieved that the mask hid her unnecessarily large smile.


Roughly seventy years ago, Jack had died one too many times from either self-inflicted alcohol poisoning or drunken brawls. He then swore off the stuff. This led to the eventual demise of his alcohol tolerance. Of course he didn't know this so when Owen and Tosh combined their devious minds, Jack didn't stand much of a chance.

It was Gwen's idea that the team have weekly outings to bond. What with the cannibals and her realisation she didn't know much about her fellow team members, Gwen felt it was imperative to improve team relationships. Jack was only so happy to agree (he also didn't know who Gwen was secretly meeting afterwards, but she tried not to think about that too much).

They'd been out a few times which led to Owen complaining about Jack never drinking. This led to the conclusion that they had to see Jack drunk as this was a sure way to indefinitely improve team dynamics. After persuading Tosh to help him (which included a contract in which Owen promised to never use this knowledge on innocent citizens), the two got to work on devising the perfect drink that tasted innocent but was laced with a relatively high alcohol content. Once they were happy with their invention, it was put to use at the next outing.

Gwen had to admit, Owen was right about improving the team's dynamics. Although they had been permanently kicked out of The Queen's Vaults pub, Jack's striptease was well worth it.


"When in Rome..." Jack sang as he started to take of his clothes. A little too joyously Gwen thought.

"Bloody typical!" Owen growled as the team watched their captain strip down to nothing but his comm and rift manipulator. The medic tried hard to avoid looking at Jack properly, unlike the other three Torchwood members who were openly ogling.

Following a series of rift spikes had led the team to the Welsh coast. Jack thought the spikes might be related to the unusually nice weather. Right now, they were trying to not arouse too much suspicion out in the crowded beach by wearing more revealing beach appropriate clothing but they happened to cross into a designated nudist beach area.

Before anyone could object, Jack handed his clothes to Ianto and continued to follow the signals. Everyone looked at each other with large and somewhat confused eyes.

"He doesn't need an excuse to strip down but he does enjoy one." Ianto stated thoughtfully before running after Jack.


There were times in her life that Gwen felt helpless. This was one of them.

Owen was shouting at a teary-eyed Tosh to get the heat packs and blankets from the medical kit as he continued to take Ianto's stats. Jack was cutting off Ianto's wet clothes and Gwen felt her stomach drop as she continued to watch the scene unfold in the back of the SUV. Quickly, Jack took off his great coat and Owen helped him to lift Ianto slightly so they could slide it under the immobile Welshman. Then without being told, Jack started to remove his own clothes until he was naked and lay down next to Ianto who was now slowly turning blue. Finally Tosh appeared with a blanket and heated gel packs. They placed the packs under Ianto's arms, on his groin and neck before putting the blanket on top of him and Jack.

She could hear Owen yelling at her to get the SUV started and something to do with minding the heat. This was so much worse than the Brecon Beacons. At least she had an excuse as to why she was helpless then. Now she may lose a team member and there was nothing she could really do to help because there was nothing left for her to do. All she could think about when she finally snapped out of it was how a tear fell down Jack's cheek as he begged Ianto not to go.

And One Time She Didn't

Everyone made mistakes. Gwen knew this as she had made more than she cared to remember. Still she was always thankful to have people in her life who forgave her. Or at least were easily swayed by various appeals of forgiveness. Coming in early and getting about a week's worth of work done in a day was her way to say sorry to Jack when she screwed up. That was why Gwen could be found at 7 AM on a Friday morning taking the scenic route into the Hub. After accidentally letting a rogue alien maul Jack, Gwen felt she honestly owed it to the Captain. Thank goodness her boss couldn't die.

What went on in the Hub before 9 AM tended to elude Gwen as she normally didn't wasn't in before that time. Obviously Ianto was not expecting her and her normal cup of coffee wasn't on her desk. If he wasn't in the kitchen, he probably wouldn't mind her tinkering around with the kettle. She didn't dare try and touch his coffee machine. Penance to Jack was already hard enough without having to get back on Ianto's good side at the same time.

About five minutes later, Gwen made her way back to her desk with a nice cup of tea. Before taking a seat, she heard some shouts coming from Jack's office. Her hand automatically moved to her gun as she tried desperately to hear the voices clearly.

"Ianto! Where are you going?" Jack shouted.

"It's captain or sir when you address me soldier!"

"Yes, sir! Sorry sir! Permission to ask where you plan on going sir!"

"Permission granted. I'm just going to get a drink. At ease soldier."

Gwen crouched behind her desk when she heard Ianto's footsteps. As Ianto walked down the steps and towards the kitchen, she could see that he was completely naked except for a red Unit cap. It was extremely easy to tell why Jack was so enamoured with Ianto from this angle.

If this happened everyday at 7 AM, Gwen was definitely sneaking in early more often from now on.