It felt strange in La Push now. I was given the feeling of belonging. A week had passed since I'd decided to let my guard down with Sam and except his apology. I still couldn't forget. The forgiving was hard enough on its own. I forgave him because I understand why he did it, and I must admit I was slightly thankful that I'm not the one with the scar on my face. Emily showed me that she could forgive Sam for scaring her for life, she allowed me to see that even though Sam has indeed left a wound on my childhood, not a scar that others can see like Emily's, it's easier to forgive and move on. Emily is a much better person than what I am because I will never be able to love Sam as much as I did before all this had happened.
Sam and I often entered light conversation around breakfast time or dinner, but I still felt uncomfortable to spend time with him and have pleasant chat with him. In all honesty, I want to know about him now. I knew my Sam 10 years ago but the Sam that I see today is different, I want to get to know him. It's difficult when it treated me so badly.
I've spend more time with the 'pack', as they call themselves. Jacob is now a really nice guy, nothing like the little boy who pushed me over and threw things at me as a child. He even said sorry for his behavior and confided that he had a small crush on me, of course that earned a round of wolf whistles from the other guys.
I was starting to feel more at home as the week passed, the guys were all friendly which I wasn't expecting due to Leah's hostile behavior with them. She was very vocal regarding me spending time with them and she didn't trust that they would hurt me, even by accident. After all they are a group of wolfs who can loss their temper at any moment. I'll be honest, the only reason I gave them the time of day was because Sam's place was where they spent most of they gather almost every night, and Seth was always with them.
I found myself becoming more attracted to Seth each time I saw him. I knew it was a crush and I needed to get over it before I leave but I couldn't see the harm in smiling at him and joking with him. The pack could obviously see the attraction between us because they would tease Seth every time I walked into the room. He just laughed. It was strange how we acted around each other, when it was just us of course. We would hold hands or he would put his arm around me, all in a friendly manner but we barely know each other. It felt natural however, and it took all my self-control not to touch or kiss him.
"Shall we watch 'The Notebook'?" Leah looked up from her DVD collection and brought me out of my thoughts.
I smiled and nodded. I had decided to check my emails on her laptop as she got everything ready for our movie night. Both of us was in our PJs, pizza was on its way and popcorn was popping.
I looked back down at the screen as she placed the DVD into the player. My laptop was still packed up in my room, I made a note to unpack it when I got home. I used to always be on my laptop, if I wasn' doing school work, I'd be writing my stories. I love to write, it is indeed my biggest passion. I like how I can get lost in a story and forget who I am, even if it is just for a few moments. My story writing has taken a seat back for last few months, with finishing school and coming here taking up all of my time. I was itching to get back into it. Flashing up on the screen was six new emails. Most were junk but one was from my friend from school. Chloe.
Your phone has been off for over a week! Where are you? I hope everything is ok!
I know how much you didn't want to go back to your brother's house for this summer, so if you want i can rescue you and you can stay at mine for a week when my mum and dad go on holiday? They leave on Wednesday 25th June so let me know.
Miss you lots and I really can't wait for a catch up with you! It feels so strange not sharing a room with you!
Big hugs and kisses,
I smile at the email. Chloe was one of my roommates through boarding school. Like I said I didn't have many friends and I honestly thought I'd never hear from any of them again, but it's obviously hard not to become attached to someone when you lived in the same room as them for 10 years.
Chloe was such a sweet girl, she always thought about others. I can remember my crying fits at boarding school when I missed home, she would always give me a hugs, and vice-versa when she missed her mum and dad. She knew exactly what happened with Sam and my parents. I'm sure I couldn't confide my latest installment in her. She was the only girl, along with me, who stayed at school over the summer and Christmas breaks. She had a family but they don't get on because they were a very wealthy and always a work. I often felt sorry for Chloe when she talked about her younger years. She was often left alone with a nanny and barely saw her mum and dad. So when I arrived at boarding school and would be staying for the holidays, she was more than happy to stay with me rather than go home.
I thought about her invite to stay with her for a week, she only lives in Seattle and she has a car so she could pick me up. Her parents brought it her for graduating. I smiled when I remember the look on her face when her parents told her about it. Obviously, she didn't have it a boarding school and had to wait until she went home. She left a week before me, I remember how lost I was for that week.
I want to go to hers and see her again, but I was just starting to get used to living here again. If I stay I could work on my relationship with Sam, if I go away for a week it could impact it even more. I sighed and closed the email window and snapped the lid on the laptop. I decided not to tell Leah about leaving for a week, but I'm not sure why.
That night we sat and watched films and ate until we couldn't move. I had brought my camera so we told silly photos. As we were looking back over them on the screen on the back, I came to some photos of my friends in boarding school. Leah laughed at me, Chloe and another girl, Lily who had the room next door to us. We were all dressed up as clowns for Halloween last year.
I left Leah to look through the photos as I went to get us a drink. When I went back into the room, Leah had tears streaming down her face. The photo she had stopped on was me at my graduation. It was only 3 weeks ago but it felt like so much longer. I was stood on stage giving my speech; I gave my camera to Chloe to take photos for me.
"You were valedictorian?" Leah looked up at me and asked. Pride was in her eyes.
I smiled. "Yep" I popped the p. "Too smart for my own good."
She looked back the photo. "I wish I was there"
"Me too" I admitted.
"When do you go to college?" she already knows I'm going to Yale. When I told her, she just gave me a knowing smile. At least she had faith in me.
"I'm hoping to go around the start of August to get settled in before term starts on the 21st." I smile as I sit down next to her.
She put the camera down and wiped her tears away before turning her full body to face me. "Can you do me a favor?" I nod, suddenly aware of how serious she is speaking. I sat up slightly to show her I'm listening. "When it comes to August, leave here and do what you have always dreamed about. Don't let anyone try and stop you. Going to Yale is something you have always wanted to do since you was a little girl. I'd hate to see you throw that away." she sounds desperate. I don't understand why she would think I may want to stop here.
"Leah, I don't want to stop here. I don't belong; my life is meant be out there in the big world. I can't stop here after everything. The only emotional connection I have to La Push is my mum and dad. That's it and you of course. I have dreams and they are what got me through boarding school. I want to make something of myself."
She beamed at me and pulled me into a hug. "I know Bella. I'm so proud of you." We pulled out of the hug and smiled at each other.
The front door banged shut. Seth slumped into the living room and dropped into a seat. He had been at work all day at the mechanics and then he was on patrol for the pack. He looked tired and drained. Something else seemed wrong as well but I knew better than to ask when he had a busy day.
"What are you girls up to?" he asked and he leaned back and closed his eyes.
"We're just chatting aren't we Bella" Leah answers. "Want some food making?" She questioned him.
He smiled and replied with a nod. Leah hurried off in to the kitchen. Seth and I were alone and the silence was quite awkward.
"So, Bella…." Seth smiled at me.
"Yeah?" I looked at him. He was no longer leaning back. His elbows were resting on his knees, as he stared at me.
"I was wondering if you want to hang out tomorrow. I've got the full day off and I think it's time you had some fun here in La Push" He said casually. My heart pounded double time at the thought of spending a full day with him. I don't know whether it was nerves or excitement.
"Sure" I tried to sound as equally as composed.
"Great." Is all he says, with a grin. "Is that a camera?" He pointed towards the camera that Leah had put down the table in front of me. "Can I look?" He asked. I nodded and handed it to him; I didn't miss how our fingers touched each other as I passed it to him. He flicked through the photos and laughed as he did so. I wasn't sure whether I should be embarrassed of the photos or not!
"You like to take photos?" He asked and handed it back to me.
"Yes, I like to relive the memories. I like the way a photo will bring back the way you felt at that moment in time." I said, they blush at how silly that must sound to him.
"In that case, we'll take some photos tomorrow so you will remember me when you go to college?" He smiled but I could see the hurt in his eyes.
"I won't forget you." I laughed.
"Won't you?" He raised his eyebrows.
"After I've seen your abs… no chance!" I don't know what made me say it, but I wanted to make him blush again, which it did. The conversation seemed to finish there. Leah came back in with food for Seth and I decided it was time I went back to Sam's. It was late and I was in my PJs but I didn't feel like sleeping on Leah's sofa again.
"Time for me to go" I stood up and stretched.
"You're going home like that?" Seth sniffle a laugh at my PJs.
"No idiot, I'm getting changed first!" I rolled my eyes, grabbed my bag and made my way upstairs to the bathroom. After I quickly got changed I went back downstairs. Seth had demolished the food Leah had made for him already. He was sat rubbing him stomach.
"Are you going to be ok going home?" Leah looked worried as she glanced at time. 1030pm
"She'll be fine, I'll walk her." Seth made to get up.
"No, No, I can walk back by myself." I insisted, but was secretly hoping that I would get to spend more time with him.
"I'm walking you back whether you like it or not!"
I huffed and started towards the door. "I'll probably see you tomorrow Leah, I have fun day of hanging out with your brother, so I'll probably get bored" I said sarcastically.
Seth chuckled and pushed me out of the door. The street was dark and quiet, I was glad that Seth was walking me home. "Tomorrow, I'll come to yours at 10?" He asked.
I nodded. "That's good with me. What we going to be doing?"
"It's a surprise Bella" he smiles at me. "A surprise which I have yet to think of" He finished with a cheeky grin. We made it to the end of my road before he stopped me by placing his hand on my arm.
"I don't feel like going home now, can we just hang out for a bit;" He didn't wait for me to reply and led me to a nearby bench. We both sat down on it.
"We're hanging out all day tomorrow" I laughed.
"I know but if I go home then I'll be bored." He mumbled. We sat there in silence. I started to shiver, suddenly realizing it was getting cold. Instantly, as if out of habit, Seth put his arm around me. The heat from his skin not only warmed me up but made me feel content.
"Now that you and Sam are moving forward, how long do you plan on staying?" He asked me out of the blue. It felt as if this was an issue that was lodged between us. I know I have a crush on Seth and I'd like to think Seth doesn't act this way with all girls and he had feeling for me too. If I was here to stay, I'm positive something between us would have happened by now. It felt as if we were compatible in every way.
"Until I'm due to go back to college" I smile at him sadly. "I'll probably leave at the beginning of August" I didn't want to go into too much detail with him, but I needed him to know how short of time we had. Therefore, nothing can happen between us.
He looked down. "Oh. Are you looking forward to starting it?"
I nod. "I can't wait. It's something I've wanted to do all my life."
"What's your dream job?" He seemed to be really interested.
"I want to publish a novel. That's what I'd love, to see my name on the front of a book." I gushed, exactly the way I spoke about the photos earlier.
"Will you ever come back to La Push?" It was a general question but I could sense a hint of sadness behind his tone.
"I'll be honest, I don't' know." I didn't want to lead him on and think that I will come back, when the truth is I can't imagine me ever coming back here for more than a few days.
"Not even to see me?" he gave me a big grin.
""Maybe, it depends"
"Depends on what?" He challenged me.
"Whether we have a good day tomorrow or not" I smile trying to lighten the mood.
"I'll hold you to that. Don't forget me when you're famous writer." His last words seem to be pleading.
"Like I said earlier, I'll not forget you. How can I forget your cheeky face?" I teased.
"Oh, that's right! Pass me your camera. We can have a photo." I took it out of my bag and put the flash setting on before I passed it over the Seth. He had longer arms and would be able to take the photo better than me. We both leaned into each other and smiled. Seth's arm was still wrapped around me, protecting me from the cold. He snapped the photo and we looked at it on the screen on the back.
"I love it" I smile and so does he.
He passes me the camera and I put it back into my bag. "Come on, we best get going" He sighs.
We walk down the street and stop outside my house. I turn to face him. "Thanks for walking me home. See you tomorrow" Is all I can think of saying.
"See you tomorrow." He presses his lips on my cheek and I almost die on the spot. He gives me one last grin and turns to walk away.
I shake my head and walk into the house. Sam and Emily didn't seem to hear me come in so I quickly ran upstairs. I grab my camera from my back and lay flat on my bed. I stare at the photo that was just taken. I like Seth, I really do but nothing can happen between us. I'll be leaving soon and I don't want to become too attached to him. It would make leaving so much more difficult and I don't want to deal with more heartache. In an ideal world, I would see what me and Seth had and made it work through college. However, this isn't a perfect world. Seth is a wolf who has to stay in La Push. What is the point in having something with Seth when I can't think of anything worse other than finishing college and coming to live here. That's not what I want.
I jump off the bed and look around for my phone in my luggage. I quickly turn it on and wait for the text and miss calls from Chloe to pour in, before I type out a message to her.
I would love to come to stay at yours for a week! We need a much needed catch up.
Love, Bella xxx
My finger lingers over the send button just for a moment and then I push my finger down. Message sent.
I couldn't risk becoming attached to La Push and struggling to leave in August. I needed to live my life how I planned to live it before I came back here. Leah is right.
Hope you all like the update!
A bit of Bella's life before returning will be coming into it soon to spice it up! Of course, there will be more Bella and Seth in the next chapter. What will they do on their day together?;)
I'm in the middle of updating my community, The love of an Imprint. So, I'm in need of help getting together all the lovely imprint fanfiction out there. If you read a lot of BellaXWolf imprint stories and want to be a member of staff for the community, please PM me. Also, if you have a imprint story you want me to add, let me know and I will do!
Let me know what you think of this chapter:)