Hey everyone! I haven't written in too long, and I litterally wrote this in a couple of hours. It's my first Bandslam fic so it may be a little rusty. Thanks Tamy for fixing my English-ism. :P

Happy reading! xo


Comfortably Numb.

Dear Journal,

I don't know why I'm writing in this journal, but I have nothing else to do. So, I guess I better introduce myself. I'm Sa5m. The five is silent. Don't ask why, it just is okay? Okay now I'm asking a journal to not ask why. I'm losing my mind. I guess you'd probably call me unpopular. An outcast. Introverted. Whatever. But that's only because no-one's ever tried to change that. No-one's ever even tried to get to know me. I'm a little bit different, so what? Don't I deserve a chance? I've never had a proper friend. Well I did in kindergarten, but that was before I could talk. It all went downhill when I could. I'd hate to think people are that shallow, but the truth is they are. I use to have a stutter and as soon as people discovered that, they didn't want to know. Who wants to wait five minutes for someone to complete a sentence?…That's what I thought. Thank goodness I'm writing this, because you'd get bored of my monotonous voice. But I've always said; emotion is overrated. I said "I've always said" but what I mean is, I've always said to…myself. You can't say that to high school kids without getting a colossal amount of raised eyebrows, and I get that just walking down the halls anyway. I guess I'm not a "normal" high school student, I'm not popular, or cool. I like to listen to music by Bread and The Sex Pistols, not The Backstreet Boys or Fergie. I like to watch movies like Bram Stoker's Dracula, and Evil Dead 2, rather than The Notebook and Along Came Polly. With Martin Van Buren being a school known for it's Battle Of The Bands, more well known as; Bandslam, you would think this school would live for music, breathe for music, like I do, but I guess this student body's idea of rock n roll is slightly different to mine. I've always been old-fashioned in my tastes in music, The Clash, and Velvet Underground is my kinda thing, whereas most of Van Buren's students rock knowledge goes as far as Pink and Evanescence. I mean, those artists are great. But my feelings for music just go further than listening to people you hear on the radio everyday. I pride myself on being able to listen to something and wondering "how many other people have even HEARD of these guys?". It may sound stupid, but I don't care. I love it. I have yet to find someone who feels the same, I wonder if I ever will.

So yeah, as we've clarified I'm not a natural high school student, because natural high school students have friends, no? I am actually a nice person, ask…my mom. She's the only person who'd know I guess. My dad would probably say the same, but he died when I was eleven. I miss him more & more everyday. He was the one who got me into all of the music I love today. There wouldn't be a day gone by where he wasn't blasting out Chuck Berry or Jerry Lee Lewis from his tatty old radio. He'd always say "This is REAL music, Samantha. Don't you forget that." with one of his famous winks, one of the winks that captured my mom's heart in the late 70's. She's never had the same twinkle in her eye since he died… Man, this is depressing, this is basically counselling. I've not told anyone at all about these feelings, because I've never had anyone to tell it too, no friends remember? But…you're my friend journal, aren't you? Sheesh. I think I may go now journal, this is bringing me down majorly, and that's saying something, since my natural facial expression looks like my dog just died. But if you were me, wouldn't you be the same? I don't expect you to reply. No-one ever does.

Anyway, I've learnt to accept my social status now. Let's just say I've become…comfortably numb.

Sa5m, signing out.

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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! Reviews are much appreciated!

xo