Disclaimer: I don't own the characters


Have you ever needed someone so much it was overwhelming? Had the desire and need to with them consumed you?

Four years ago that happened to me.

I was a sixteen and new to the land known as Forks. Everyone had known who I was and why I was in Forks.

Many of the people were a little to friendly and I had only met a few people I was kind of okay with. Until that is I went into my English class before lunch.

They had assigned me to sit next to an Edward Masen.

So far I hadn't met any guys who seemed at all nice. They were to…welcoming I guess you could say. When I had sat down I didn't even bother a second glance at Edward.

I didn't know if he'd known I'd been ignoring him. All I knew is that he didn't bother asking me all the questions of the day.

"Why do you prefer Bella and not Isabella? Do you miss Arizona?" Those types of questions. Instead he waited for me to speak first. When I did he seemed to relax.

"Hi. I'm Bella." Instead of the 'I know who you are' he smiled and said.

"Hello Bella. I'm Edward." His smile was nice. I blushed and had smiled back.

2 months later

In two months Edward had become my right hand man. My best friend and the only thing that made Forks bearable. He had introduced me to his friends Angela and Ben who of course were dating. He had shown me who not to talk to unless I wanted to get into trouble. He had shown me that Forks wasn't that bad.

He was the one I called if I ever I had a fight with Charlie or my mom.

I had admitted only to him that I felt abandoned by my mom, he was the only one who knew how sad I was not to be near her.

He was the one that told me to call her and tell her how much I missed her.

I did just that and she in the end asked me to come home. But one thing stopped me from going.


I never told him about the offer. He would have told me to go.

Charlie knew about the offer but I was just starting to get to know him. I didn't want to leave him already.

"Did you ever call your mom?" Edward asked as we walked toward the cafeteria. I nodded slowly biting my lip.

"She understands and misses me too…" I couldn't tell him anymore. He'd tell me to go, but I didn't want too…

I had fallen for him.

"Bella what aren't you telling me?" I sighed.

"You'll make me go." I whispered. He stopped walking and looked at me with his green eyes.

"Go…? What…" He understood. "Renee asked you to come home." I nodded. "You said no." I nodded again.

"I can't go Edward." I whispered. He lifted his hand and stroked my cheek. Some people would take this as a loving gesture. For us though it was completely normal. No love at all…well no love on his side.

I had a feeling I may fall in love with him. Another reason not to leave.

I would be leaving my possible love.

"I thought you wanted to go." He said. I shook my head.

"I had wanted to go. I don't want to now."

"Why?" Edward's eyes smothered me. He was so…dazzling.

"Don't tell me to leave." I whispered looking away. He cared about me and he'd say that he knew I missed my mom and he'd say it would be a good idea if I went back.

"Bella I'm way to much of a selfish person…I wouldn't tell you leave." Selfish? Edward was far from selfish.

"You're not selfish. You care way to much about others…you wouldn't tell me to leave?" I asked.

"I care about you yes, but I can see you really don't want to leave anymore. I wonder why…" He mused. "Anyway it's not like I want you to leave. You're my best friend."

I smiled…sadly.

I was hoping I was more to him then that. I was hoping he would want me as much as I had wanted him in that moment.

I knew then that I was falling in love with him.

3 months later(July)

I'm going to be seventeen soon. Edward is already seventeen of course. He had a party on June 20th. Edward wasn't one for the lime light. Especially since he had met me.

Whenever Edward had some attention I had some attention. He knew I hated it so he had tried not to do to many 'amazing Edward-type things' as he had put it.

On his birthday I had gotten him some CD's I knew he needed to finish his collection. I also had promised him I'd stay by his side throughout his birthday party. He hadn't wanted one but Elizabeth did.

Elizabeth is his mother his father had died after Edward was born. She adores me for some odd reason and she knows how much I adore her son.

She's the only one that knows how much I adore her son.

"Bella open this door or I will break it down!" I sat up in my bed and looked toward the door.

"Can't you leave me alone for once?" I whined toward my closed door. He chuckled.

"Nope." Then he opened the door. I smiled as Edward walked in looking very cocky.

"Get out." I threw my pillow at him and he dodged it. "Where's Charlie? Charlie!" I yelled as Edward jumped onto my bed and picked me up. Edward laughed and stood up.

He started spinning with me in his arms and I laughed.

"Charlie!" I yelled again hoping for help from my dad instead I just heard Edward's laughter. Finally I gave up calling Charlie and just laughed with him.

Thankfully he stopped spinning and fell onto my bed with me.

"I'm dizzy." He said. His eyes were shining with happiness and I smiled.

"Well that's what you get. Now where's my dad? He's suppose to make sure boys stay out of his daughters' room at ten in the morning." He laughed again. I'm glad I'm amusing.

"He's the one that let me in." I rolled my eyes.

"Of course he did." Edward smiled at me.

"Guess what today is?" His eyes were somewhat serious and I thought about it.

"Um…muffin day? I don't remember. I know it's Wednesday." he sighed.

"Fine since you don't remember…I'll show you." My eyes probably showed my confusion then he sat up and then I remembered.

"Oh…don't you dare…" I started crawling backwards trying to get off my bed and then he grabbed me and started tickling me.

"It's tickle day!" I laughed and I'm sure my face was red as he tickled me.

"Stop-please. Edward!" Finally after about five minutes he stopped.

I looked at him and he was smiling down at me. Someone he ended up on top of me during his tickle attack.

"You're lucky…" I muttered looking away.

"I'm lucky?" He asked his eyes amused.

"Your lucky I love you or I'd get you back." He froze. I looked back at him and he was staring at me.

"What?" He asked.

"What?" I asked back. We had said 'I love you' before. It meant more to me then it did him though. I really loved him. He loved me like a sister.

"You…nothing." He rolled off me and looked at the ceiling. I turned on my side and looked at him.

"No." I poked his chest. "Tell me what's bothering you. All I said was what you've been saying to me since forever." He sighed.

"Those words shouldn't be used…unless…"

"Unless you really mean them." I finished. He nodded. I did mean them though.

"So stop using them then." He looked at me.

"You stop using them to." I looked back into his green eyes.

"Who said I didn't mean it?" I countered

"Who said I didn't either?" He countered back.

"You're the one that suddenly had a freak attack Edward." He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"What if I say I've meant it ever since the first day I said it." I just stared. Really?

"What if I said…I've…meant it even before that." He opened his eyes.

"Really?" he whispered.

"Really." I said back. He sat up a little and leaned over.

Then his lips were on mine.

The kiss started light. It was feather light. I kissed him back and put my hands in his hair. He then decided to pull back.

"You want to know what today really is?" I nodded.

"It's the five month anniversary of the day we met."

-September 13th

"Knock, knock Bells." I opened my eyes and looked at the door. Charlie was standing at the door with two presents.

"I said no presents." He threw me a box.

"Mines the one that's not wrapped." I looked at the box. "It's a camera." I nodded and looked at the other box he had.

"It's a book. For the pictures. We coordinated. " I took the box "well your mother coordinated me." I smiled.

"Thanks dad." He nodded and started walking out the door. "Oh and Edward's outside." My eyes went wide and he laughed.

Once he closed the door I jumped up and got ready as fast as possible.

"Edward!" I yelled running outside. I wasn't surprised when I tripped, and I wasn't surprised when I felt to arms wrap around me to keep me from the ground.

"Bella." Edward set me on my feet and kissed me.

"Happy Birthday." I sighed.

"Thank you I guess." I hugged him and he hugged me back. We stayed that way until Edwards phone rang.

"It's my mom's cell." I nodded and he kissed me lightly and then answered his phone.

I gave Edward some privacy and walked toward the Volvo. We had about twenty minutes until school starts. I really didn't want to go though.

"What do you mean she's been in an accident?" I looked back at Edward and saw him pacing. I walked over to him.

"Edward?" I whispered. He shook his head and I kept my mouth shut.

"Is she okay? What? Yes I'm here only close family at the moment. No. Yes she has a sister but she lives in Chicago." What? What happened to Elizabeth?

"Edward..?" I couldn't help but ask again. This time he didn't even acknowledge me.

"I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and looked at me. I tried to look fine, but my face gave me away.

"Bella I'm sorry." He hugged me and I put my head on his chest. "But...god my mom was in a accident. I need to go to the hospital." Oh god.

"Edward" I looked at him "I'm so sorry." I kissed him lightly and told him to go.

"Thank you." He whispered. "I love you."


The whole day I freaked out. No one in school knew it was my birthday except for Edward so it was normal for everyone else.

For me I was thinking about Edward and his mom. Was she okay? Was he okay?

As soon as the bell rang I ran to my red truck and drove home. Today and today only was the day I wanted my truck to go fast like Edwards Volvo.

Once I got home I noticed Charlie's cruiser in the driveway. Oh no.

"Charlie!" I yelled when I got inside. I walked into the living room and saw him sitting with a women I didn't know.

She had a auburn type hair and looked to be in her twenties.

"Bella. This is Esme Cullen…Edward's aunt." I just stared. Esme's eyes were red and she looked so sad.

"No…Elizabeth." My eyes watered. "Where's Edward?" I whispered.

"He ran off as soon as they told us." Esme chocked up and started crying.

Elizabeth was dead…Edward had lost it.

Where did he go…I know.

"I have to go." Charlie stared at me.

"Where Bells?"

"I think I know where he is…he needs me."

I ran out the door and into the woods.

Edward had shown me his favorite place to think last month. He told me that anytime he disappeared it was to this place. His meadow behind my house.

He had told me he was never that far away.

He then told me it was our place now. Our meadow.

I stopped by the trees the opened into the clearing. I took a breath as I saw him.

He was crying.

I took a step closer and he looked up.

"Bella?" he whispered. I nodded and sat down next to him. I looked down at the grass and didn't say anything. Suddenly I felt someone grab me. I let him.

I waited and then hugged him back slowly. I was right.

He did need me.

I didn't noticed the sun set. I did notice when Edward slowly let go of me. I looked back into his eyes and saw so much pain. I put my head on his chest.

"It'll be okay Edward. We'll great through this." he nodded. "She loved you. If she had a choice she would have been here." He nodded again. Why wasn't he saying anything?

"I know Bella…Bella there's something I need to tell you." I looked at him.

"What?" I whispered. What else could go wrong today? What else?

"I'm not eighteen Bella." I just stared. "I'm a minor…that means I can't live alone…I have to live with…" he stopped and whispered "I can't believe this." Then I understood.

He had to live with Esme.

Suddenly this day seemed to suck more then anything.

My eyes watered and I held him tightly.


Worst birthday ever

4 days later

Right now I'm sitting outside listening to Esme speak about how Elizabeth was the best sister in the world.

Today was Mrs. Masens funeral…it was also the last day Edward was here.

Carlisle is Edwards uncle. He's in the front row with Edward waiting for his wife so Edward can say his last words about his mother.

As soon as the wake is over…Edward's on his way to Chicago.

I have no idea how Edward and I were going to get threw this day. We were burying the best person in the world and we were losing each other.

What a day.

I was lost into my thoughts until I heard his voice.


"Elizabeth…was the best mother in the world." I think everyone could see his eyes start to water. He looked up from the podium and he looked at everyone. Then when he spotted me his tears seemed to take him over. He shook his and said something.

"Bella…help." That was all it took I stood up and walked over to the podium.

I felt everyone's eyes on me and I didn't care for once that Edward had made everyone's attention go to me.

I took his hand and looked at the crowd of mourners.

"Elizabeth Masen was the most amazing woman I have ever met. She was kind…sweet…and she accepted me right away into her home." I was about to go on when Edward stopped me. I looked at him and he nodded.

"My mother trusted my judgment. She raised me to know right from wrong." He shook his head. "She used to say I looked more like my dad everyday. She was the best woman I will ever know. She loved me…she loved her family. She loved anything or anyone I loved. She loved Bella." I couldn't even blush at those words. I was to…upset.

"May my mother rest in peace. She's in a better place now. She also knows how much we all care for her and miss her. Mom…I love you."

With that we walked away from the podium.


When it was time for the wake Edward walked up to me and asked if her could give me a ride to his house. I had nodded and told Charlie I'd see him later.

Once he started driving I spoke.

"We're not going to the wake." I whispered. He nodded and squeezed my hand.

"We only have a few hours." He whispered back. "My mother would understand…" He whispered broken.

"She loved you." I whispered.

"As she did you."

We drove in silence until we reached my house. Once we were inside we went into my room and just laid on my bed.

He played with my hair and I played with his fingers.

I tried not to cry as it got darker and the hours were almost over. Suddenly Edward sat up and pulled me up with him.

"Bella…I love you…but you know…" I nodded.

"We'll never see each other." He nodded "Long distance doesn't seem to work Edward."

"I know…Bella I will always love you." My eyes started watering. When I heard two cars pull up in the driveway my heart stopped.

"I will always love you too." Edward wasn't crying. He was trying not too. He said he was going to be strong as possible.

"Take this…please." He gave me a box. "It was your birthday present, but that day got messed up. Please…don't fight me." I nodded and opened the box.

There was a bracelet. It had a crystal heart hanging on it.

"It's beautiful." He nodded.

"It was my mothers." My eyes went wide. "She told me my father had given it to her. She said it was meant for the woman I loved. I love you. It's yours." He took it out of the box and put it on me. Then there was a knock on the door.

"Bells?" Charlie poked his head in. "Edward...needs to go…" he knew how this hurt me. I nodded.

"Bella…" Edward whispered. Before he could say anymore I kissed him. I kissed him with all I had. It was our last kiss.


I fell in love with Edward Masen when I was sixteen years old. It's been four years and today is my twentieth birthday. Right now I'm sitting in a restaurant waiting for my roommate and her brother who I've yet to meet to get here.

She had wanted to through me a party but ever since…that year. All I've wanted is to be left alone. This year was the first year in a long time I've decided to go out for my birthday. As I wait I think of the one man I fell unconditionally in love with.

While I think about him I stare at Elizabeth's bracelet.

"Bella!" I heard my roommate call. I stood up and she hugged me.

"Alice." I said back. She smiled. "Where's your brother?" She sat down across from me.

"He's parking his Volvo. He's so protective of it." She sighed.

Volvo? Huh what a coincidence.


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