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Violence Inherent in the System
Epilogue Insanity with Extra Sex (but not graphic, mind you)
Omakelogue - Welcome Back Potter (Shortly after 'End of a Dry Spell')
Late 30th Century A.D., Mare Serenitatis
Harry's full body seizures tapered off. Completely spent, he fell to into silk sheets and curled into the side of his still heavily breathing wife. The two fully immersed themselves in the afterglow of a really good time.
"Tell me again... why was this necessary?" Harry asked the room in general.
One might wonder at the question. What did he have to complain about?
"Speaking in my full capacity as Royal Physician," Luna proclaimed boldly, "it is my duty and honor to declare that both your Snorkacks are in full health and quite happy to be reunited after such a prolonged separation."
Luna then proceeded to remove her gloves and pack away her 'medicinal' oils and lotions.
With great effort, Harry turned to look at Usagi. "I thought Hermione was the Royal Physician. When did that change?"
"I thought so too..." Usagi replied after some time. Her thinking was still impaired from her last orgasms. Plural. "Though Luna has assisted Hermione on more than one occasion..."
A pleasant aftershock surged through Usagi's frame, temporarily breaking her concentration again.
"Where is Hermione, Luna?" Usagi asked eventually. "I'm sure she was supposed to come by."
Duchess Lovegood turned to her King and Queen. "I'm quite sure I don't know. Perhaps she should be found guilty of treason and sentenced to a firm spanking?"
Harry and Usagi looked at each other and sighed. Luna always suggested spankings- especially for her own punishments... and for her rewards as well.
One the far side of the Lunar Imperial Palace, in a genuine medical office, the real Royal Physician (among other titles) Duchess Granger struggled against her bindings. Her futile struggles did nothing to shake the heavy oak chair she was tied to nor did they strain the hundreds of meters of silk chord hand wrapped around her body. She hurled threat after vengeful threat through a red rubber ball gag. Grrrrrrrrrr... She'd get even with that little blonde twat one day. Oh yes, revenge would be hers!
Epilogue One and Three-quaters
Also Known As
The Greatest Prank in the History of The Crystal Millennium
Late 30th Century A.D., Mare Serenitatis
"I... don't think this's a good idea." Princess Mercury slurred.
She stumbled into a chair, her 'friends' giggling in a loose circle around the room. She hated it when the room spun around like that.
"Lightwieght." Princess Jupiter joked. "All you've had is a bit of wine."
"Not that!" The blue haired young looking (and still hot after all these years) immortal barked. "Well that too... but just what are we doing here anyway?"
Mercury ignored Jupiter's earlier pronouncement and pointed a wobbly finger at the softly shimmering door through Space and Time sitting 'innocently' in one corner of the room.
"That's what I'd like to know." Pluto. Damn.
"Busted!" Venus called from her perch on the side of a loveseat facing the space-time door.
Pluto, Queen of Earth and Chief Adviser to the the Queen of the Moon, was using her Angry Mommy face and her Angry Mommy voice again. It happened sometimes... most recently during the celebration week following King Harry's resurrection and the subsequent Epic Shagging. That shagging was so epic, and so widespread, that the royal couple was only one of the thousands of families to expand nine months later. There was a genuine baby-boom on the moon. Just as all the ladies of Queen Serenity the Second's court were beginning to feel like naughty schoolchildren, the space-time door in the corner flared to life.
"Well, fuck." Wiseman, serial super villain and all around prat, said after jogging into the room only to stop dead center.
"Tell me about it," Esmeraude added. "You're a total buzzkill, Pluto."
Black Lady, who was the last baddie to slip into the room, just held one hand over her mouth and kept quiet.
The only reason Pluto didn't summon her sparkly pole arm o' death and deliver a righteous ass whipping to three of Sailor Moon's most notorious enemies (one being the corrupted Crown Princess Cuteness herself) was that none of the other Senshi in the room were doing anything about it. It's like they expected three arch-villains to come in and have a drink... maybe play some strip poker or something.
Pluto felt a headache coming on. "What in Serenity's name is going on?" She yelled.
"We're saving the world!" Venus crowed, swinging her arms wide. "What's it look like we're doing?"
"It looks like you're all consorting with the enemy!"
Pluto watched in surprise as Wiseman plopped down into the loveseat Venus was perched on. Venus smiled brightly and slipped into his lap.
Pluto felt a migraine headache coming on. She needed drugs and she needed them soon.
Then the other shoe dropped.
Wiseman reverted back to King 'Just' Harry. Polyjuice? As Pluto stood there, jaw hovering a hairsbreadth off the floor, Esmeraude shed her evil form to become Mary Riddle, ex-Dark Lord and King's Thane of the Lunarian Court. Black Lady didn't change.
Nope. Still Black Lady.
"Whatever," The pink haired vixen dismissed Pluto's unease. "Tsunami-chan got a new ship and she wants me to go boy watching in the Gamma Quadrant with her. Not a whole lot of humanoids out there, but the ones that are there are all totally hot thrill-seekers. Should be like shooting Mon Calamari in a barrel."
"I'm not listening! Laaaa-la-la-la-la!" Harry covered his ears with his hands... unfortunately leaving himself open to assault. Venus slid a hand into unguarded private territory. "Hey! That's inappropriate touching!"
"Pervs. The lot of you." Not-Really-Black Lady murmured as she fled to her Time-Space door and re-keyed it. "See you same time tomorrow, Dad."
"Where do you think you get it from, Princess Barbarella?" Venus shot back. A thousand plus years and that movie was still awesome as hell. Well, Venus thought so.
Without looking back to see her father nod 'yes' about meeting tomorrow, Cuteness held up one arm and gave Venus the post-30th Century version of ye olde two fingered salute. Two long pink streamers passed through the portal through four dimensions and disappeared.
"Would someone please tell me what's going on before I snap and kill something important?" Pluto asked politely.
"I already said we're saving the world." Venus replied. "Oh! Dibs on playing Calaveras tomorrow. Can't wait to fuck myself in the past."
Harry looked at her, eyes wide in shock. Venus went back over what she said and spotted the error.
"With. Myself. Fuck with myself. Not like that, you perv. Well... if it was like that then it's just masturbation, right? It's my body and I'll do what I want with it."
"I... I don't think time travel will let you do that, Venus." Harry managed. Time to try a saving throw against immortal sluts and immortal manipulators. Or would that be manipulatrixes? Manipulatrixi? "Tell her, Mary. It was your idea."
Mary sighed, knocked back a conveniently placed drink and took center stage.
"Your Highness..." Mary bowed respectfully to the Queen of Earth. Pluto nodded back. "Not long after Duchess Lovegood delivered her last plate of brownies... you know, the 'medicinal' ones... I had a thought. What if we could pinpoint all the temporal events in my beloved King's history that are both bloody and vague and... fix... them so they weren't real bloody. Just fake bloody. And still vague."
Pluto resisted rolling her eyes. "You all know what a paradox is. What happened, happened. There is no fixing it after the fact no matter how good the idea sounds when you are stoned off your ass."
"Which is why you can't stop us either." Mary grinned like the lunar cat that ate the canary. "We've done this three times already! We can't let the real Wiseman or Esmeraude show up... that would be a paradox for sure!"
Pluto cursed in her head. She really should have killed Harry Potter that very first day they met in the Himalayas. Nobody would have missed him then. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"So the whole Black Moon Clan war?" Pluto challenged.
"Staged!" Harry crowed. "No one dies. No one! Not in the past or in the past's future which is still our past... I think."
"But I stocked Ceres full of all our worst criminals!" Pluto retorted. "Wiseman and Prince Demand are real, damn you! What happens when they try to do what they're supposed to do!"
"I got that covered!" A shout came from the door behind Pluto.
Queen Serenity the Second entered the room with a bounce in her step and a crystal scepter in her hands. Crown Princess Cuteness (the temporally accurate one) skipped in behind her mommy and was in turn followed by Ranma and Shampoo. Like most of the Lunar Court and Lunar Imperial City's inhabitants, the Saotomes were rendered immortal due to their constant exposure to Usagi's Silver Crystal and the Lunar power it constantly releases.
Shampoo was also carrying Yuri Ikuko Serenity-Potter, the three month old second daughter of... well the name should give it away. 'Yuri' as in lily, not as in girl-on-girl dirty fiction, you pervs. Named for Harry's mom, just in Japanese.
There was a round of bowing/ curtseying to which Usagi blew everyone a raspberry.
"So it worked?" Harry asked his Love.
She nodded eagerly. "The source is cleansed and those who were once affected are cured-" Usagi turned to Ranma who looked away and blushed, "except for those who declined the cure."
"Wonderful!" Harry pushed Venus off his lap and stood. Venus pouted. She was ignored. "Mary Riddle! On your knees!"
In the King's Thane's mind, his image was rendered in soft focus and warm light with cherry blossoms and little hearts floating through the frame. And there was just the right amount of lens flare.
"As you wish my King!" She dropped and faced him immediately, heart aflutter. "Finally! Though I didn't expect such a big crowd for our first time together. Kinky!"
Harry blushed and shook his head. "Please turn around and face Usagi, Mary."
From behind! Mary was so very happy. She'd been waiting a really, really, really long time for this.
She jerked a bit when she felt his hands on her exposed collarbone. Huh... why was he removing her protective necklace? Funny how Usagi and Cuteness were right there... and what were they doing pointing Cuteness's new scepter at her? Fear attempted to gain a toehold in her heart, but her faith in her King and Queen was absolute. She held firm.
"Just like with Shampoo, Honey..." Usagi whispered into her daughter's ear. "only I'm going to add something extra to it. Don't fight it, okay?"
"Yes, Momma." The ten year old (physically anyway) girl replied.
They both drew forth their powers, their hearts and their will. Everyone except Harry and Mary shielded their eyes. The room was bathed in pure white light for ten to twenty seconds before the light show stopped.
"Did it work?" Harry asked from his position behind the kneeling Mary.
"Yup!" Mercury replied. She was drunk enough to slip on her grammar, just not drunk enough to forget to do her scans when Usagi went full magical whammy on something.
Usagi spotted a tea tray (thank you Dobby) and poured out a measure of hot water. Then she splashed Mary with it.
Nothing happened. And no, she did not have her necklace on at the time.
Mary was still trying to reboot her brain when Usagi spoke next. "In my long labors creating the Scepter of Prissiness, I have mastered my mother's magics... and that work has finally allowed me to reign in the chaos of Jusenkyo. The pools are no longer cursed. You are free of Jusenkyo. Rise, Nemesis."
"Free?" Mary asked, stunned.
"Nemesis?" Pluto asked, stunned.
Usagi gave 'Nemesis' a compact mirror. "See for yourself."
Mary took the compact and looked at her own face. There. On her forehead. A softly glowing silver sigil which resembled a quetsion mark with a cross on the bottom.
"Sailor Nemesis," Usagi called in her formal Queenly tone, "I grant you dominion over the territory of the once great planet of Nemesis. Asside from your own magical core, you may now draw power from Ceres and her sister planetoids in the asteroid field between Mars and Jupiter. Henceforth, you shall take your rightful place among my Guardian Senshi, a Princess. Rise Mary Riddle, Princess of Ceres, Senshi of Nemesis."
Nemesis stood on shaky legs. It was slow going until her King put an arm around her shoulders to give some support. Then applause began. Whistles and cat calls followed. Mary may have started off as one of the bad guys, but that's pretty common in magical girl kingdoms. Even before her age could be measured in three digits, she was as loyal and devoted to the Queen and King as any other Senshi. She has also taught countless Lunar citizens, governed dozens of regions and researched some of the most powerful and least known magics in the whole solar system. Only her 'allergy' to hot water has prevented her from leaving the Queen's side in times of war, though none were more willing fight and die. So cared for was she that Usagi deemed her an Imperial Treasure too valuable to field in battle; her Jusenkyo given Achilles heel was deemed too great a risk.
So, all told, she deserved this.
Usagi spoke again. "Nemesis. My first order for you as a Guardian Senshi is to overcome whatever resistance the inhabitants of Ceres may provide; past, present and future. They must not be allowed to interfere with the operations we have undertaken through these temporal missions. You may request whatever aid you feel is necessary, but we will subdue the inhabitants of Ceres. Peacefully if possible... I want them alive and reformed. Harry tells me he has already spoken to our daughter's future self and she will guide you through time if Pluto freaks out on us."
"It shall be as you wish, my Queen." Suddenly, an enormous grin threatened to split Nemesis' face in half. Tears of joy began pouring down her cheeks. "YES! Oh, God yes!"
Wow. They didn't expect her to be quite that happy about her promotion and subsequent marching orders.
"Breathe, Mary." Harry hugged a little tighter. "I refuse to watch you die of happiness."
"Don't you see?"
She spun in his arms and hugged him back. A little smooch or two was stolen. Wait... did she just bite his neck?
"Not once!" Her soft silvery-grey eyes burned with an inner fire. "Not once when a Senshi has asked our Queen for permission to bed you was she refused!"
Harry knew what that inner fire was now. That was the twin inner fires of love and lust. Bugger. He walked right into this one.
Mary slowly turned her gaze on Usagi. She reached deep inside and pulled out her very best puppy dog eyes and most poutiest lips. She did not let go of Harry.
"May I have him tonight, my Queen?"
Harry and Usagi looked at each other. Neither one had expected this- or at least not so quickly- but she was right. The other Senshi would on occasion request a night with Harry and they would be granted their request. Technically, no request for a Senshi to bed their Queen has ever been refused either... though only one has made a habit of it. Yes, it was and still is Mars.
"Very well, Nemesis-"
"YYYEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!" The fresh baked Senshi jumped on her King, wrapped her legs around his waist and commenced to suck his face off. Hard.
There was much rejoicing.
I have ideas for another sketch-like epilogue or two, but I'm unsure of their true value or production schedule. Due to this, I'm calling this 'Complete' and maybe there might be more later. Possibly. Don't bet the farmville family plot on it, though.