A/N: So Christmas Break has been kind to me and I have had tons of ideas (as you can see from the multitude of stories I have been publishing). I'm thinking of starting a new multi-chapter story, which has me kind of nervous, but for now, here is this little random drabble; which I'm actually quite proud of. Hope you like it!


She couldn't breathe. She was on her knees, gasping for breath. It was like her chest had collapsed, crushing her heart and lungs, leaving her to suffocate. She kept trying to gain control of herself, but the pain in her chest just got worse and worse.

It wasn't fair. They were only 25. They had only been married for a few months. How could this happen to him? He wasn't supposed to leave her. Not now, not ever.

As she kneeled on the ground, clawing at her chest, she couldn't even focus on her surroundings. She could feel someone holding her, and from the glimpse of blond hair she assumed it was Serena. Not that it mattered; the only person she wanted to hold her never would again.

Soon her gasps turned to gut-wrenching sobs, choking out of her throat as tears streamed down her face. She didn't want to feel this pain. She wanted to tuck it away and hide behind the mask that no one ever could see through, not now that he was gone. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reign in her emotions. As she rocked back and forth, Serena held her, trying to comfort her.

She had been there when Blair had gotten the phone call and she had watched her best friend fall to pieces before her eyes as she tried her best to hold her together. She didn't know what to do. Blair had always been the ice queen, holding her emotions in check even through the worst situations. Now, seeing Blair completely broken and vulnerable, Serena didn't know how to help her.

Serena thought she had been in love before. She thought she had known heartbreak. But after seeing this, especially from someone like Blair who was so guarded and strong, she realized she had never felt such deep emotion, that she had never witnessed such pain and brokenness, and she was sure that she never wanted to ever again.

*****

When Blair awoke from the sleep induced by the sedative Dorota had given her, it took less than a second before the throbbing in her chest set in once again. She grabbed her phone from the table beside her and curled into a tight ball. She dialed the first speed dial and clutched the phone to her ear as her tears followed the now familiar path down her cheeks.

"You've reached Chuck Bass," a sob escaped at the first sound of his voice, "If it's important, leave a message. If it's not, or if you're not sure if it is, then don't. Unless you're my wife," she could picture his usual smirk on his face as he continued, "then please, leave a message; preferably a dirty one."

Serena watched as her best friend called Chuck's number over and over. It hurt to see Blair so broken, but she knew there was nothing she could do. Blair would never be the same; Serena knew there was no way her best friend would ever be able to recover. Serena wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but she couldn't. The only person who could help Blair was the one person who would never be able to come back.

There is a saying that time heals all wounds. But not this wound. This wound would remain open and gaping and raw. This wound would fester and bleed and sting for years to come, until it became an accepted part of life. Or until Blair could no longer stand it and decided it wasn't worth living with. Serena wasn't sure which would come first, but she knew that she would never wish this kind of pain on anyone, least of all her best friend.