Prologue. Fate

In September in Colorado the sky often seems to come down with a very severe case if diarrhea. Really, it was disgusting, a sort of sludgy mix between snow and water. There was no summer here, because summers aren't a consistent 20 degrees Fahrenheit, and the sun is supposed to be out, and Jesus Christ, this was America , not the North fucking Pole.

And there I was, freezing my balls off at the school and waiting for something to happen. Come fifth grade, everything even remotely exciting ceased to happen-not saying the previous year was fun, at all, just that it wasn't boring like middle school and now high school. No one changed. Kenny continued to whore around with his little butt buddy Craig, Stan continued to be the star of the football team, Butters continued to be, well, Butters, Pip and Damien continued to be, respectively, British and Satanic, Token and Clyde and them-well, you get the picture.

All was normal and all was well.

Until this fateful day. The beginning of the beginning. The first day of a new adventure in my majorly fucked up life.