A/N: Hi peoples! Welcome to my first vocaloid fanfic... as well as my first fanfic for like, 8 months... yup. Also my first oneshot (which this still technically is... i think. heh.) over 2000 words. This one has over 5000. (woot!)
I started writing this yesterday when I realized it was Len and Rin's birthday, but it was already like, 11:00 p.m. and of course I didn't finish... And here I am, wanting to submit it on the 28th but still failing... it's 11:58 p.m... arg.
Anyways, happy late birthday Len and Rin! :D
And because he really super wanted me to, and did read through this fic as I was writing it... I'm dedicated this to my um, marshmallow friend (you know who you are :D)
Dislaimer: Len and Rin would totally be together if I owned Vocaloid. End of story.
I slammed my bedroom door close as I dropped my backpack to the ground, wiping the wetness from my tear-streaked face. My chest pumped up and down as I tried to cease the sobs that shook my breath. Today had been absolutely horrible – even worse than every other awful day I'd had to live through.
At school, I was a loner. My few friends – or rather, people who talked to me – didn't even share any of my interests; I guess I only stayed with them to avoid feeling unwanted. They make fun of how I like video games and anime, but I suck it up and laugh it off with them… but seriously, what's so good about fashion and clothes anyway?
At home, my parents are always fighting, arguing… and when my dad's not home, my mom vents her frustration at me… Why didn't you clean your room? How come you didn't practice singing today? You've been on the computer for three hours today, isn't that enough?
And today, everything just had to go wrong. Walking into my history class, I had found that I left my binder at home, along with my homework. It was a big homework assignment – and the teacher didn't accept late work at all. Later on, my friends totally excluded me from every conversation – apparently, make-up was the topic of the day, and even though make-up was an unwritten standard for high school, I, of course, wear none.
Already in a downtrodden mood after a forty-five minute lunch period of not saying a single word other than "hi" and "bye," my day was further butchered when our math tests were passed back and my test paper boldly flaunted a big, fat C+. This made me extremely worried – if I couldn't pull my grade up to a B- by the end of the fall semester, which was a month away, I'd be dropped from this class. The worst day ever was complete when I got home – instead of receiving comfort and sympathy from my mom as I hoped and desperately needed, I was awarded with a, "C+? You're grounded for one month."
I plopped down on my twin-sized bed, letting my puffy orange pillows soak up the occasional tear that still escaped my eyes. I stayed there for quite a while – half an hour maybe? – until I finally decided that if I were to waste time like this, I might as well watch some anime. I got up slowly, and walked over to my computer, passing my full-length mirror. I didn't want to look in the mirror, since I knew that I probably look like a wreck at that point, but I sneaked a glance anyways…
I stopped myself in front of my mirror and blinked. No… just plain old me. Short, disheveled blonde hair, dull blue eyes swollen red from crying, disappointingly stranded between tan and pale, and a completely unflattering figure. Strange… I could've sworn I'd seen someone else.
I shrugged it off; I was pretty tired and depressed, after all. But as I turn my head back to the computer on the other side of my room, something changed in the corner of my eye and I snapped my gaze back to the mirror.
I'd definitely seen something this time. I felt frozen, my heart pumped in my ears. Should I be scared? What should I do? Cautiously, I walked up to the mirror, and my reflection followed as my rest my fingertips on the cold glass. "You…"
Suddenly, a faint light engulfed my image, but for some reason, I didn't feel surprised. As the light faded away, the figure I had caught a glance of earlier came into view.
"Heh… I guess you caught me, huhn?" He smiled timidly and scratched the back of his head.
My mouth hung slightly open as I observed the boy from top to bottom. Soft, golden locks secured in a high pony tail, deep cerulean eyes, and a perfectly lean figure covered by my school's male uniform. He was extremely cute, I thought, like a shota… I would have giggled out loud if it wasn't for the absolute awe I felt right then as I continued to stare at him. He was the same as me, yet… he was so much more beautiful.
Wanting to break the awkward silence I had created by not replying to his comment, the boy took a step backwards and extends his hand. "I'm Len."
"Rin…" I said in response, and reached for his hand, only to be stopped by the glass. He drops his outstretched hand as I do so, blushing.
"Sorry… I forgot we couldn't touch through the mirror…"
I nodded stupidly. Of course we couldn't… what was I thinking? I guess it was just because my mind still hasn't gotten over the fact that this… angel had just appeared in my mirror.
He sat down, and I did too, more because I felt that I should be the same as the reflection in the mirror than anything. "You look sad, Rin… do you want to talk to me about it?" His voice was so soothing.
I nodded again. "Well, today…" I started to recount my day to him, and I have to say – he was the best listener ever. He nodded or grunted at the right times, he commented when necessary, and not once did he interrupt or show any signs of boredom of my rambling. I couldn't help but wonder… was this what a true friend was suppose to be?
We went on talking about everything and anything – I found out that his love for bananas rivals my worship of oranges, and that we both have an uncanny obsession with yellow… and road rollers. He shared my interest of anime and video games, and for the first time, I found someone who didn't mind my lack of fashion and make-up.
Dinnertime came all too soon, and I discovered I was more than unwilling to part from his company. I wolfed down my meal as quickly as humanly possible, but when I got back to my room, my mirror reflected only myself.
The next day at school was probably just as bad as the previous, but I didn't notice – probably because I was thinking about Len the whole time. I hardly said a word to anyone the whole day and was called out exactly 6 times during the course of the day for spacing out and not paying attention to the teachers.
The bell signaling the end of my last class finally rang, and I practically dashed out of my classroom and back to my house five blocks away, not even bothering to stop at my locker to check if I have all the books I need to homework.
"Rin, you're home early," my mom greeted as I entered the house, "do you want anything for a snack?"
"No, I'm good," I replied, trying my hardest to not show this overwhelming sense of eagerness building up in my stomach. "I have a big project today," I lied smoothly, "So I wanted to get home early to start."
"Alright then," my mom called, but I was already heading upstairs to my room, talking every step while resisting the urge to break into a sprint. I closed my door quietly, and rushed over to my mirror.
To my relief, a familiar glow from the day before lit up the room, and once again, my reflection was not myself.
"Thank god…" I whispered, happiness welling up in my chest. If he didn't come back… I didn't know what I'd do.
He smiled at my joy in seeing him. God I liked looking at him so much. How could he possibly be so damn good-looking? "Sorry… my time at the mirror is… limited."
"Mm," I nodded my head in understanding. I guess that made sense. "Len, do you sing?"
"Hm? Yeah, a little… why?"
"Oh, I was just thinking that… you know, we could practice singing together."
"What songs? I'll try."
I dug around in my backpack, and pulled out some sheet music. "Here's the song I'm working on right now, Kokoro." I flipped through the pages. "And here's the counterpart to it, Kokoro-Kiseki. This one's supposed to be sung by a guy, and I was thinking, if you could learn it, we could sing it together!"
He looked at the sheet music from his side of the mirror. "Ah, this doesn't look too bad. Although… wouldn't your parents think it's weird if they hear two voices from your room?"
"Oh um…" Haha, I hadn't even thought about that. "I'll just tell them I'm singing along to a recording of myself or something."
"Fair enough," he approved, and returned to observing the music. "So does it go something like…"
He started to sing the lyrics, and my god! His voice was so… beautiful. And in tune. And pretty much perfect.
Even as he finished the song, I just sat there, with my mouth hanging wide open. "Wow…"
"Eh heh…" he chuckled nervously. "Well um, do you want to sing together then?"
Shaking off my amazing, I nodded eagerly. "Yeah, yeah, let's do it!"
We sang through it a few times, pausing here and there to get the harmonies locked in exactly. And just… wow. Yeah. It was so much fun. And it actually sounded good. Like, really good.
If only I had met him earlier…
"Hey, Len," I said after we finished a run through, "How long exactly have you been watching me?"
"Uh… w-what makes you ask that?" Was he… embarrassed?
"Just wondering," I answered.
"Uh…it was when I was ten, so…" he mumbled.
"Almost four years," he stated, blushing.
"What?" I sat up straighter and looked at him. "How come I never noticed you?"
Okay, he's definitely turning red now. "It… it was… mostly when you were sleeping."
"What!" I shrieked, and covered my mouth immediately; I didn't want my parents to hear me talking. I lowered my voice and whispered, "Stalker!"
"No – I…!" Ah, he's so cute when he's flushed! "It's… it's not my fault if you're really cute when you're asleep…" he muttered.
My heart jumped."Did… did you just call me… cute?"
"Um… uh… well… yes…"
It was my turn to blush now. "That's… really… sweet…"
"Rin!" My mom's voice sounded from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready!"
I snapped out of my daze. "Right, coming!" I called back, standing up. Then, turning to Len, I said, "I'll see you tomorrow… right?"
He smiled. "Of course," he replied, before disappearing in a shimmer of light.
It became a routine from then on; everyday I'd come home, and Len would be at the mirror waiting for me. I'd tell him about my day, and ask him about any homework problems I knew I would have trouble on – for some reason, he was really smart. Then, for the next hour or so, he'd help me on my singing, or we would sing duets together. After, we would talk for a bit more, until my mom called me down for dinner, and we would say goodbye until the next day came around.
Two weeks went by, though it felt much shorter now that I had something to look forward to everyday. I felt like life finally had meaning to it now; it wasn't just an endless path to nowhere.
But then, that day, when I got home, Len wasn't at the mirror. I cocked my head in confusion. "Len?"
I felt slightly nervous, but chose to ignore it. He was probably just running late… I mean, he probably had a life outside of talking to me everyday… right?
I decided to find the music I wanted to sing today while waiting for him to come, and sure enough, after a minute or too, the glimmer of light I knew so well invaded my room, notifying me of his arrival.
"Ah, Len-" I started but stopped myself when I saw his appearance. He was a wreck – his ponytail was taken off, and layered blonde hair fell chaotically to his shoulders. His uniform was wrinkled and messed up, and his tie was loose and hanging lifelessly on top of it all. His eyes looked slightly swollen and… was his lip bleeding? He had always been one to look neat and presentable – I had never seen him like this before. I inhaled sharply. "Len… what happened?"
He winced as he tried to smile comfortingly at me. "Ah… nothing. Don't worry about it. Sorry I'm late."
I disregarded his words as I made my way closer to the mirror. "Len… tell me what happened, please?"
"No, it's really nothing… it's nothing…"
"Len," my voice sounding pleading now, "please…"
He looked away, taking a deep breath. "Alright… I guess it won't hurt. To put it simply, Master found out that I was communicating with someone from the real world and got really mad."
Master? Real world? What was he saying? "Len, you're…I thought… aren't you real?" Wow, that sounded smart. Not that I cared, anyway.
"In some sense, yes. Everyone in your world has a counterpart in our world, though most us follow the rules stay away from the mirror… unlike me. But otherwise, we can only exist if the real person does too, say, if someone in your world dies, their counterpart would also die, and if someone got sick, their counterpart would get sick too."
"So who's this Master?"
"Master, well, he – or she, we don't exactly know – is basically the ruler of our world. All of us counterparts live as a type of big family, and Master is like the leader."
"Mm…" I had never thought that there could be another world on the other side of the mirror… Then again, I had never even bothered to think about where Len came from or what he was. "But then, what happened to you exactly?"
"Well… about that…"
"You could say I got disowned, exiled, whatever."
"Exiled!" My eyes widened. He was kicked out of their family… because of… me. "I'm sorry…" Tears welled in my eyes.
He waved it off with a smile. "No, please, don't worry about it; it was my choice after all. Anyway, tell me about your day then?"
"Yeah," I said, wiping off my eyes. "I'll tell you about it."
That day when I was called away for dinner, I lingered a bit longer in my room. "Len, I'm really sorry," I apologized again.
"Rin, I told you, don't worry about it!"
"But, it was all because you were talking to me all this time…"
"Yeah, but it's okay; I like being with you… I mean, that's what friends are for, right?"
I looked at him with big eyes. "Friends? You… you'll be my friend?"
He smiled a big, encouraging smile. "I always have been."
I returned his expression with a beam. "Thank you… Len."
As the month rolled by to December and the weather grew cold and unforgiving, so did my mood. I really didn't know why I was being so moody. Ever since that incident almost three weeks ago, my time with Len grew shorter and shorter each day – either he would arrive late or he would leave early, or both, quite often. I guess that, along with being disowned, came a lot of other consequences, but every time I tried to apologize, Len simply smiled and said, "It's not your fault."
But today, I wouldn't get to spend any time with him. Why?
I had a date.
Yup, you heard me right.
I was going to the movies with a super cute junior who I'd been mildly crushing on for the past three months or so.
It was strange, though, how the first thought after he asked me wasn't, "Oh my god! He's asking me out!" but rather, "Oh, that means I won't get to be with Len today…" I asked him if we could go in the evening, but he said that the afternoon was the only time he was free.
I agreed to go anyways, because I mean, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I tried to convince myself that the disappointment I felt was purely because Len might be sad to know that I wouldn't be spending the usual two or so hours with him. But deep down, I knew that wasn't it – Len would definitely understand and be okay with it – it was me who was going to miss our time together the most.
As soon as I got home that day, I rushed to my room and immediately started looking for a suitable outfit to wear.
"Hm, what's up all of a sudden?" Len asked, slightly confused.
"I'm going to the movies today," I said, without looking at him. I was afraid that if I did, I would regret not being able to be with him even more than I already did. "So if you could look away while I change…"
"Oh, is that so?" Did he sound upset? "Well then… have a good time, yeah?"
"I will," I responded, having finally decided on wearing a simple tee-shirt and jeans with a light yellow scarf and beanie. "See you later," I said as Len disappeared along with the faint glow that brightened my room.
I changed as quickly as I could, and bounded downstairs. "I'll be home by six," I called out to my mom, before exiting the house and running down the street to the movie theater. I checked my cell phone. 3:40. He should be in here in about five minutes. I sat myself down on a nearby bench and waited.
The five minutes passed, and he still hadn't shown up. Did I get the time right? I went inside the theater to confirm that the movie we planned to watch did indeed start at 3:50, and it was. Hm… something must've held him up then, I reasoned as I walked back outside to my previous spot.
Minutes ticked by slowly, and still, no sign of him. I took out my cell phone, wanting to call him, only to realize that I didn't have his number. Twenty minutes… thirty… And that's when I finally realized…
I'd been stood up.
Tears welling in my eyes, I took a few deep breaths before standing up and heading back towards the direction of my house. My head hung low as I walked, one brisk step at a time, ashamed that I had fallen for such a lowly, pathetic prank. The thoughts and emotions inside me smeared and blurred, much like the world I saw through my tears that now trailed down my cheeks.
This was so, incredibly, horribly, stupidly stupid…
I was greeted by an unnecessarily loud TV upon reentering my house. "Rin?" My mom asked, surprised, "Did something happen?"
"Sorry… I don't want to talk about it," I mumbled. My mom nodded, knowing I wanted to be alone, and went back to watching whatever she was watching.
I scurried to my room quickly, shutting the door behind me. At the same time, a light shined and Len appeared, his hands pressed against his side of the mirror. "Rin, what's wrong?"
I stood there sobbing, unable to muster up enough breath to speak. "Rin?"
I took a deep breath, and wiped away as much of my tears as I could. "He... he stood me up..."
Len's hands fell to his sides. "I'm... I'm sorry."
I chuckled lightly. "It's not your fault..." But my laughter was soon replaced by tears once again, and I started shaking uncontrollably, tears cascading out of my eyes endlessly.
"Rin... shh..." My crying slowed down slightly as I heard his calming voice, and I scooted my to kneel in front of the mirror. "If I was real, I'd go beat up that guy for you, Rin."
"Len..." My voice was still unsteady with sobs as I extended my hand towards him... but I only got as far as the glass. I paused for a brief second before trying again, smashing my hand against the mirror with more force. A sudden feeling of helplessness overwhelmed me... why had I never felt this before? I tried again and again, hitting and pressing on the glass with as much strength I could muster, but of course, I could not reach him.
I let out a scream of anger and punched the walled next to the mirror. What was this feeling of frustration? "Yeah, if you were real!" Why am I yelling at him? " If! If you were fucking real then maybe you could be here next to me to comfort me instead of just fucking talking to me from the other side of this fucking mirror! If you think you are fucking making this easier than me, you're wrong! Because it's NOT!"
My knuckles flushed red from the contact with the wall, but at this point, it was the least of my worries. I cried louder than ever, curling over to my knees and screaming all my emotions out.
"Rin... please..." How could he still be so calm? Why isn't he mad at me?
"JUST GO AWAY!" I yelled, immediately followed by more uncontrollable sobs.
"It's okay Rin, shh... it's okay..."
More tears rolled down my face, successfully drenching most of the front of my shirt and part of my jeans. It was fully dark by the time my tears finally drying out for the most part and I could catch enough breath to be able to talk in a somewhat steady voice. All this time, Len had been sitting patiently on the other side of the mirror, murmuring comforting words to me as I released all my emotions in the form of sobs and tears.
Seriously,this Len was something really special...
"L-Len?" I whispered tentatively once I had calmed down enough.
"I'm... I'm really sorry... I shouldn't have said any of that... it was really immature of me... you've done so much for me, you've always been there for me... I have no reason to insult you like that... I'm so sorry..."
Len replied with a smile. "Don't worry about it... I don't mind. We're friends, after all."
Friends? Why did that word hurt so much? "Yeah, that's right..."
I was in love with my mirror image.
Winter break quickly arrived, along with the very exciting Christmas and New Year's to look forward to. But even more than that, was the day two days after Christmas.
The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that my room smelled heavenly. Like oranges.
Second thing, there's a heavenly-looking piece of cake smothered beautifully and with the perfect amount of what I assumed to be orange flavored frosting with a single yellow candle burning on an absolutely adorable orange colored plate with a matching fork in front of my mirror. Not to mention a heavenly-looking Len sitting with a priceless smile on the other side of the glass with his own, matching, banana cake and orange candle.
"Hey, happy birthday," he said from the other side of the mirror.
I got up from my bed and trudged sleepily over to the cake, still not believing my eyes and nose. "But how did you know?"
"We're counterparts, remember? I have the same birthday as you."
I blushed. Why hadn't I thought of that? "Oh, that's right... I'm really sorry Len, I didn't get you anything."
"No, that's alright, you wouldn't have been able to give it to me anyways." True. "Besides, you being here with me is more than enough."
I blushed even harder. Did he really think that? "But wait, how did you get this cake over here?"
"Ah, well... I had to bribe Master."
"By doing what?"
"Cleaning the city hall." He scrunched his face. I was imagining him in a maid costume and a broom, sweeping the floor... a very high pitched fangirl squeal escaped my lips.
"Thank you so much Len, really... this cake looks so so so good." I took in its wonderful smell once more. Mmm... Geez, he was a damn good cook too...if I married Len one day, I'd be able to eat food like this all the time...
Gah, what the heck was I thinking?
No way could I ever marry him…
"Make a wish?" His candle's already out, so I guessed he's already made his.
Snap out of it, Rin.
He's not real.
I looked at him, and I suddenly feel a sharp pain somewhere in my chest. I lifted my hand my hand to the cold glass, as did he. "I… I wish… we could be… together."
He looked away from me, sorrow clouding over his eyes. "Is that so..." Wait... why was he standing up? "Well then, I guess have to leave now."
What was happening? Where was he going? "Wait, but... Len! we haven't eaten our cakes yet!" His back was to me now, but his imaged looked blurred from the tears that formed in my eyes. "Len!" Why won't he answer me? "Len!" Was it because of my wish? Did he not return my feelings of attachment for him? I immediately regretted the words that had escaped my lips.
He turned his body slightly towards me. "...Yeah?"
A tear fell from my eye. "At least tell me... what you wished for?"
"Oh..." His gaze lowered. "I wanted... to be able to grant your wish."
I was stunned momentarily. He would... do that? But as soon as I came back to my senses, I threw myself at the mirror. "No, Len, don't leave yet! Len!"
But he had already disappeared with a faint glow, and I was only met by my own tear-streaked reflection.
He didn't come back.
I hadn't seen Len since my fourteeth birthday. Everyday, afterschool, I would sit in front of my mirror, waiting... but he never appeared. My life had gone back to just as it was before I had ever met him, but it was worse, much much worse... Now that I had a taste of happiness in my life, the bitterness of being alone stung even more.
If only I had never met him… No. If only he did not leave.
A year passed by, and my fifteenth birthday quickly arrived on my doorstep, like an unwanted memory of that day a year ago.
I'd challenged myself that day to make cakes that somewhat resembled those from the previous year, and I was quite surprised that I was able to make a somewhat decent, at least, for someone like me. Of course, they were far from the quality of Len's, but hey, it was edible.
I sat down in front of my mirror along with one slice each of orange cake and banana cake. "Happy birthday, Len," I whispered, more to myself than anything. "Make a wish…"
I said my wish to myself in my head, and put out the candle with a quick puff of breath.
I sighed. It just wasn't the same.
I ate my cake in silence and sat there, watching the candle burn on Len's slice of cake. I was hoping that, by some miracle, he would come back…
"Len, please… I don't care if you're on the other side of the mirror… I just want to see you again…"
More years passed by, and before I knew it, it had been four years since I had last seen Len and I was off in college. My life had drastically improved; college provided me with many more friends who shared my interests, but even so, I held dearly onto the dream-like memories of my days with him.
In these four years, I'd grown slightly taller, my hair cut slightly shorter (it was definitely not to resemble him!), and my chest had stayed as flat as ever. Sometimes, in my desire to see Len, I would tie up my hair, mess up my bangs, and put on some baggy guy clothes and look in the mirror, but my reflection was never satisfying. I never looked just like him… no, never as perfect as him.
Winter break dawned upon me all too soon, but due to certain complications, I wasn't able to return home until my birthday. Which was fine with me; four hours on a plane on my birthday meant four less hours of depressing thoughts in front of the mirror in my room.
"I'm home!" I called, barely out of the taxi that took me from the airport to my home, to my mom who stood in the doorway. I ran to her and gave her a "it's nice to be back" hug and set all my luggage inside the house. "Happy birthday, Rin."
I had begun to unpack my stuff when my mom suddenly said, "Oh, I almost forgot – Rin, you never told me you had a boyfriend!"
I stopped my actions and looked at her strangely. "…Huhn?"
"Yeah, he's in your room right now. He told me he wanted to surprise you for your birthday and all, so I let him in about an hour ago." She looked at me approvingly. "And I have to admit, he's a pretty good-looking guy… It's almost weird, how much he looks like you though, and he could actually pull of a ponytail pretty well…"
Looks like me? Ponytail? My heart sped up immensely as I raced up the stairs to my room.
…Could it be?
My suspicious were confirmed the moment I threw open my door. There he was, sitting on my bed… looking like the perfect angel he was. His hair had grown longer, his face more defined, his body taller and leaner, but there was no mistaking it.
He looked at me and smiled bashfully. "Sorry, Master was very demanding with the price for crossing over to this world..." His voice had gotten deeper. "He made me spend four years working as a brioche-"
His explanation was cut short when I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could. Tears, joyful tears, fell from my closed eyes. He's real… he's real…
"Len… I missed you so much…"
He laughed softly. "I missed you too, Rin…" He pried himself slightly away from me and wiped away the tears on my face. He stood up and walked over to the mirror, where two slices of cake I hadn't even noticed until now were set. Picking up the plates, he offered me the orange one.
"Make a wish?"
I took my slice and we sat down on my bed next to each other. "I wish that you'll stay with me, forever…"
He smiled. "I was already planning to."
A/N: Yes, Len was working as a brioche xD More like a brioche sales guy or chef or whatever... take your pick :)
Ah I knew I wouldn't make it in time... it's 12:01 a.m. as I'm typing this. Darn. And it's probably going to take another forever until this is actually uploaded :P
please leave a review... pretty please? C:
By the way, does anyone else find the lack of synonyms for 'smile' and 'tears' extremely frustrating? I feel like I must've used those words at least like, ten times each in this fic... -grumble grumble-
Edit 6/22/12: ... wow i was a butt 2 years ago LOL. there is nothing wrong with fav'ing without reviewing. i don't know what was in my head back then. ehe.