This is my Secret Santa story for Alissa (Unnatural-Ketchup-Taco). I hope you enjoy it!
Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year for all the readers!
Five years… only five years and she was going to become an adult. She was going to turn into an incredibly gorgeous woman. Only five freaking years and she was going to be his. Only five years and that friendly love would turn into a romantic love. They'd stop being best friends and turn into lovers.
Only five years and she would turn into a beautiful woman and he would become a zombie for her, even more than he already was; he would be her personal slave, ready to jump at her command, ready to love her if she needed it or comfort her when she was sad. Ready to do or give her anything -even the stars, if she asked for them.
I kept running to our cliff, feeling the wind touch my furry face and the wet earth under my paws. I called it 'our cliff' because it was there that I confronted him in hopes that he would realize he was wasting his time thinking about Bella Swan and loving her with all his heart when the one he should be loving was someone else. At that moment, I didn't realize that that 'someone else' should have been me because I was still yearning my love for Sam; something I was going to regret for the rest of my life; something I still regretted now.
Memories of that day on the cliff came to my mind. I remembered he was furious with me, and I was furious with him too. We shouted, and then he left. It was at that moment when something happened. When he was gone, I started to feel something I've never felt before towards Jacob Black. I was missing him with all my heart.
As I approached the cliff, another memory popped into my head. This one was about that day we were hunting together through the woods when I'd just joined his pack. That was the first time we had a civil conversation. I think it was in that moment when I fell in love with Jacob Black. I wanted to tell him, but the last thing I needed at that moment was pity or rejection. So I decided that first he should know me better, and I should know him better; we could be friends, and then, if he felt the same way I did, we could take the next step in our relationship.
Nothing happened that day, but I will always remember it as one of the best days of my life, because after that day, everything had changed between us. We became closer, although not as close as I would have liked. He trusted me more, and I trusted him too; and the best part was he confessed to me that he enjoyed my company, which was a good sign.
After that, I caught him thinking about that talk once or twice. I was often in his thoughts when he was running patrol and I was 'sleeping' in the woods. Whenever he came back from the leeches' house in a bad mood, he went for a run and thought about me. I was really happy about the improvement in Jake. His constant thoughts of Bella were not as regular as they used to be, and now they were replaced by me… until the day he saw her.
All those nice memories he had of me were nothing compared to his new memories about her… it was always her. He had no thoughts that weren't about the little baby. He didn't even remember Bella at all, or how much he suffered for her, because Renesmee was always in his mind. He was always worried if she was okay, if she was safe or if she was happy.
He didn't care about anything else. Not even Billy was in his mind; his poor father that only saw him once in a while seemed to be forgotten by Jake. Jacob was all Billy had. There was Rachel too, but since Paul imprinted on her, the girl never seem to pay the enough attention to her father. And there was also Rebecca who lived in Hawaii, but she never came to visit. Billy had been living on his own for months now. Jake was his only help at home and now he saw him less and less. He also had only five years until Renesmee grew up and the Cullens decided to move to Alaska or Europe. He would then lose Jacob, too.
I couldn't even blame Renesmee, because no one could choose who you wanted to imprint on. It worked with just looking into someone's eyes and BAM! you were stuck with that someone for the rest of your life.
Stupid Quilleute magic!
It should have been me who made his eyes light up whenever I entered the room. It should have been me to make him smile whenever I was around him. That should have been me, not her. She did nothing to earn that love. I, on the other hand, was always there for him. I even became his Beta to be closer to him, to help him, to comfort him, and to love him.
She was no more than a year old, and she looked like she was a freaking four year-old girl, for the love of God! So young and she's already had it all; a mother and a father, a family, money, immortality, and Jacob Black. The man who will be her friend, her brother, her teacher and one day he'll become her husband and lover.
Leah, you are pathetic. I thought when I arrived to our cliff. You can't be jealous of a child!
Sometimes I wonder how it was that fate chose whose life to screw up. Maybe it did it in a raffle or maybe it was by chance. Who knows, but I was sure that I was number one on its list of people to screw up.
Why me? I whispered in my head. I've suffered once for love. I can't keep doing this to myself. Jake will love her and only her... I'm only wasting my time…
Watching as the sun started to set, I imagined he was here next to me, watching this beautiful moment, sharing this romantic setting that nature created for lovers. Sitting by my side, holding me…
In moments like this, with a sunset as beautiful as this one, when lovers confessed their love for each other.
I closed my wolf-like eyes and whispered I love you, Jake.
If he were here, he would look into my eyes and say, "And I love you too, Leah." Then he would wrap his arms around my waist and kiss me passionately…
I sighed. What a beautiful dream! What a wonderful life it would be if he loved me.
Leah? A male voice popped in my head.
Oh shit! He'd heard me.
I didn't hear what he said because I phased back to human, ashamed of being caught, and by no other person than him! I put on my underwear and clothes and ran home.
It took me twenty minutes to arrive there; more than twice the time if I ran in my wolf form, but I wasn't going to let him see what was going on in my mind. I opened the door and ran upstairs to my room, not even greeting Mom or Seth, who were in the kitchen. I didn't even notice that someone was waiting in my room. I opened the door to my bedroom, but I wished I hadn't because there he was, Jacob, with his glorious six-pack and a pair of cutoffs.
After a moment of staring at him and his dazzling body, I found my voice again. "What are you doing here Jacob?" I tried to sound bored.
"I need to talk to you."
"There's nothing to talk about," I answered, avoiding his eyes.
"Well, maybe you have nothing to say, but I have something to tell you."
"Jake, please don't… I don't need your pity or-"
"I love you, Leah," he whispered taking a step closer to me. I looked up into his eyes. "I love you too, Leah."
"Jake… you can't love me… Renesmee…"
"I don't love her the same way as I love you," he said. Our lips were inches away, our noses touching. "Leah, I want you. I choose you." And he crushed his lips against mine.
This felt so right. This was meant to be like this, but Renesmee was going to grow up one day. Now Jake was just a friend, a big brother for her, but when she grew up, her feelings for Jake would change.
"Jake…" I whispered breaking the kiss.
"Don't speak or think, Leah, just kiss me."
He leaned towards me but I pushed him lightly. "Jacob, I can't… you'll leave me when she grows up-"
"Leah, Nessie and I've talked about this. She knows I have feelings for you, and she said that she understands and is happy for us. She would never see me more than just a friend; a brother. She won't separate us." He closed the little space separating us and crushed his lips to mine again.
I only had five years to help him choose me if she changed her mind...
Five years to make sure Renesmee didn't choose Jake as a lover…
Five years where all Jake was going to see was how much I loved him…
But what would happen if in five years she changed her mind and fought for his love? What if Renesmee asks Jake to stay with her?
I still had five years for my questions to be answered.
All my questions and fears were interrupted when I felt his lips over mine. This time they were kissing me with more passion and need.
Oh well… I guess I still have five years to find out…
Ps. The Two Sides of the Moon's new chapter is coming soon...