Author's note: Éowyn and Faramir were created by J.R.R. Tolkien, and I cannot claim them as my own. This is just a little something that came out when I was unable to sleep one night. I meant it as romance, but perhaps what came out was very light romance. In any case, enjoy. Comments are always appreciated! Distribution by permission only (firstname.lastname@example.org). Thanks!
If they had just let me die, I would be at peace now. But they brought me here, and they force me to stay.
So I walk, when I can.
One step. Two steps. Three steps.
If I wanted to torture someone, this is how I would do it.
Seven steps. Eight steps. Turn. Nine steps.
It is not a pleasant day, but I would walk in the fiercest storm. Anything rather than sit around inside.
I am expectant. I have been dishonest with myself for the past two days, but I will no longer pretend about what I am waiting for. I am waiting for the Lord Faramir.
Nineteen steps. Twenty steps.
Today he waits for me by the wall. He is looking over the city. His city.
"Good day, Lord Faramir."
Twenty-three steps, and I am by his side.
He smiles at me. "Lady Éowyn. How is your arm?"
"It is healing."
We sit together in silence. I do not wish to speak today, and I am glad that he does not try to make me. Eventually, he speaks. He tells me about his brother, Boromir. About how he loved battle. About everything he was.
I think I would have liked his brother.
We walk, and though I did not mean to, I too speak of my brother.
He listens well, and I am glad for his company. At least, I know I should be glad, though I feel nothing but weariness.
He has been a good companion.
We do not speak of why we are here. We never speak of that. He knows that I would welcome death, if it came, but he does not speak of it.
Sometimes I see a look in his eyes that I do not like. I will not put a name to it, though I recognize it. It reminds me of other things that cannot be.
But today the look is not there, and he is simply companionable. It is comfortable to walk with him and listen to his voice.
He often looks sad, and I do not know how to help him. I wish I could do something, but my pain is too great. I cannot see beyond my own shadow.
The sun begins to set, and he takes his leave. As he walks away...
One step. Two steps. Three...
...I feel a pain in my heart. Perhaps I have lingered too long here today. I am very tired.
He turns around, and he smiles. I know that he thinks highly of me. I am somehow sorry that I cannot return his affection. I am not capable of it.
"You will be walking tomorrow?"
"And the next day, and the day after that, and for as long as you will have me, Éowyn."
I do not feel so tired anymore. I stay outside for a moment after he has gone and watch the sunset. It is fiery, and it burns my eyes. I turn to go inside and am surprised to find that I am crying. Perhaps I am just too tired. Tired of the pain, tired of living.
I go inside.
I remember Faramir's words, and, if I did not know better, I would think I was anxious to see him tomorrow. Perhaps I am. I do not wish to speak to any other, but he is different somehow.
This day has not been as bad as the others.