There was a bleak darkness shrouding my heart. As we, team Hebi, plundered deeper down a path of ungodliness. Where was he? I would often ponder, the tangible sound of dry leaves collapsing under each footstep we made. It was like an eternally bitter silence, Karin's continuous attempts at lightening the mood did nothing but start fights between herself and Suigetsu. I remember this feeling so faint, I could look at them and I found myself seeing two former teammates. It was years ago, but the notion of the blonde and pink haired child I knew was just another memory, unfortunately… Like all memories, it would never fade.
I had been unwilling to put up with the bickering and had scouted ahead, giving strict order as for none to follow me. The solitude was painful but the heavy sense of familiarity seemed right. All humans, none are freed from the imprisonment of their own memories. Once you've experienced something it will always be there, you can bury it as deeply into your subconscious as you could ever want but one day, with a word or an image, those thoughts resurface, and you are enslaved to them.
I was a slave… how many days had passed? Watching the sun rise and fall how many times? Swearing on each morning I would find him and on each night that tomorrow would be the day. But that day is drawing close, I can feel it like a deep sinking feeling in the pit of my heart. He had told me back then, to hate him with every fiber of my being. But not only had I consumed myself with this hate I had pushed it on every person who neared me, they were for or against me, either being drawn in to me or being pushed away. I was not wrong for this.
The stars are nowhere to be seen tonight, and the moon has shied away as well. It's like a black cloud has consumed everything, even the air felt thick as it slid down my throat and swarmed my lungs. How long away was the day? I could not see the dirt in front of me anymore, and though I could sense the objects that could cause potential harm to me, I sat down at the base of a large tree and closed my eyes. I couldn't even tell the difference between having my eyes opened and having them closed.
I could practically feel the gentle pressure of having his fingers press into my forehead. That spot still felt so numb, even after all of these years. As if creating a rift in the dam holding back all those memories from before the night Itachi spilled the blood of everyone I held dear. Like a nicking flame every place that he had touched me lit up and began to blaze, whether as children or in combat, wherever his skin touched my own lit up and my whole body felt painfully hot. "Bastard…" I drawled, relaxing my body so that I was sprawled out onto the dirt, flopping onto my side and laying there. A root dug into my side but I did not move, just stared on, not sure if my eyes were even open or closed.
These memories, they were so, trivial… Letting these thoughts consume me, suffocating slowly. How could I possibly go on like this? I had to squander that small notion whispering in the back of my mind that after I killed him, things could be okay again. I was smarter than that, Konoha would never accept me back with open arms, amusing such thoughts were what created those fragile hopes I abandoned with my friends from the leaf village.
The night dragged on slowly, As the warmth of the sun sank into the earth the air grew colder and I had to fight off the tremors running up my skin. I wished, dare I wish? Dare I? I wished he could touch my skin one more time, one more time without murder or cruel intentions. Because the waters are crashing down and my dam has fallen under all the pressure. I can't believe it, but the reality is…
I still miss my brother,
I still hate my brother,
But, I miss him.
Every night, I tell myself I wont think of him, but to avail, I cant close my eyes anymore without seeing his face. It's getting worse and worse as days go by. Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sun… set….
A loud clap of thunder echoed through the skies and I felt the cool water droplets sooth my burning skin. Soon the rain poured down in a steady stream, My jaw slackened as the water that ran off the oaken tree leaves seeped into my mouth, tasting soiled, even though it came straight form the clouds themselves. Like us humans, it doesn't take much to pollute us, even something so simple as meeting the leaves. The leaves, meeting the people who are already spoiled here on earth. And them leaving that imprint, that fucking memory, and now…
Purity is lost forever, from the moment you open your eyes as a child and set them on the contaminated love of your parents… That is the moment when it is to late for you… Too late for human kind. I let my mouth hang open, the dirty water turning the soil beneath me soft and sticky. And still, the night was black.
I spread out on my back at stared up at the nothing sky, my eyes I now knew were open, for I could feel the water on my pupil, but still there was only an empty void. Seeing but not really seeing anything… I was supposed to be a prodigy, so how could I not sense him draw nearer?
I was startled out of my reverie as two large warm hands wrapped around my upper arms, Pinning me into the mud. "Fuck!" I shouted, kicking up out of reflex only to have my legs crushed down painfully under a knee. His chakra was hidden, so well even I Uchiha Sasuke, could not sense it; but I did not need to. Gasping at the sudden intense pain, a waft of sweat and lavender graced me, it was faint but it was there, under the thick blanket of blood, I could smell it.
It was supposed to come out threatening, hateful, but my voice cracked and it almost seemed like a plead. My body raged, it wanted to fight, I had been waiting for this, I've finally found him. He said nothing but I could feel his gaze penetrating right under my skin, like as if his stare had become tangible in the darkness as it slid up and down my body, leaving a flaming trail behind.
"Sneaking up on me, real honorable, but how could I expect honor form someone like you?" I spat viciously, fighting against his grip and grinding my teethe roughly. "Despicable creature!" I wanted to fight him, standing facing each other on a battleground, with no interferences, but I could never picture this moment in the dark ne'er world being pressed under him into the mud.
My limbs betrayed me though, because I could see his face so clearly in my mind, and I tried to picture it, splattered with blood, eyes narrowed, fresh from the kill… And then like velvet, he spoke out, "Sasuke…" The image shattered, all I could see was him that evening before, smiling at me, pressing his fingers into my forehead. My body went limp and I felt so lost in that moment. "You don't hate me enough. You aren't ready to fight me."
My body shuttered as he dug a knee into my arm and using his now free hand, clutched my chin roughly. I felt his hot fleshy forehead pressed roughly against my own and I couldn't breath anymore, just swallowed hard repeatedly but the bulge in my throat refused to go down. "Sasuke, hate me more, you aren't ready for this, there isn't enough hate in your heart…" He said cruel words, words I had heard before only this time around, his voice seemed so for longing, his own hate had dissipated and I could feel his shaky breaths puffing against my cheek.
I let out a strangled yelp as a hot wet appendage slid along my jaw line, sending rustling goose bumps up my arms and legs. The cold water soaking my clothes thoroughly was plastered to my skin and I could feel the extra weight of Itachi's cloak bearing down on me. "I hate you plenty, Get off me so we can fight like real men!" I bellowed out, moving to strike but feeling my chakra get sucked from my body slowly by both Itachi and the weakening conditions around me.
"Men?" He chuckled, attaching his lips to my neck and nipping me roughly, catching me by surprise. Why? Why was he doing this to me? His hand holding my chin roughly lifted it up, baring my neck to his sick feast as he trailed kisses along my jugular vein. "What makes someone a man?" He asked nobody in particular, digging his teethe into my collar and drawing my rich Uchiha blood in and down his throat.
"Is it committing murder? Stealing the life of another human? Does that make you feel like a man?" I gripped the dirt so tightly, my knuckles went numb. His voice threw accusations and I felt appalled. "You're the murderer, not me!" As if I had not spoken, he used his tongue to lap up the rain on my skin, his chest rumbling in a way that almost sounded as if he were purring contentedly. "Leaving your village behind in a whirl of death and betrayal?" He continued, my chest heaved as his knee slid up my thigh and brushed none to subtlety against my crotch. My body betrayed me as I gasped and dug my nails deeper into the ground, the thick mud almost completely consumed my hands in it, I pressed further down wishing I could just disappear into the ground, away from that hot suckling mouth forever.
"Or doing things like this?" He lowered himself down and grinded his crotch against my own, me reacting with a groan. My body… it wont listen anymore, my heart was broken and consumed with hatred but my body heated up even in the icy rain. "Does this make you feel like a man?" His voice had become so emotionless that it terrified me, I'd rather hear him seething hatefully, saying my name with utmost loathing, not this strangled, empty, tone. "Don't touch me… you sick freak."
My arms tingled and I felt the familiar chakra of a seal bind my wrists down into their graves. Now free both of Itachi's hands swarmed into my shirt, untying my obi then ghosting over my chest, I bit so deeply into my lip I drew blood as his forefinger and thumb dug their nails into my nipple. The stinging pain raged under my skin and the taste of my own blood seemed to be becoming familiar on my tongue. Then with a grip of my jaw, he squeezed it roughly and reflexively I opened my mouth, that hot, thick organ slid inside, wrapping around my own.
I wanted to bite down, I wanted to dig my teethe into him and swallow his flesh as a last stand against my brother. But his fingers held my jaw open so all I could do was moan as he violated my mouth, he seemed to want to taste my esophagus because he kept shoving his tongue further and further down my throat, breathing was almost impossible as water flooded my nostrils; how was his tongue even this big? Or was he himself, in all his glory, that much more superior than myself? Superior to my small mouth as at my attempts to inhale seemingly sucked him in willingly, I could not even force my body to try and spit him out anymore.
He tasted like nothing I'd ever experienced before, like the warm sauna water, it was inhuman how hot his tongue was. It sent want through my body and made the rain feel so much colder than it already was. The mud sunk between my fingers and I was becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. Itachis hands were very large and in comparison I felt incredibly inferior, the sensations filling up in the pit of my stomach made me feel nauseous, but I could not deny the intense pleasure building up inside me his hands opened my shirt, exposing my chest to the tickling rain and a lump formed in my throat, willing me to the brink of insanity.
As his tongue left my mouth, the whine that erupted from my throat startled even me. "You aren't supposed to be enjoying this." Itachi strangled out, relocating his tongue. I squealed in childish disdain as the sticky tongue dipped into my navel, taking me by surprise. "Why are you doing this?" I demanded, more disturbed with myself than him at the moment. My cock throbbed at his gentle ministrations and the heat inside me swelled, "Why do you want it so bad?"
Answering questions with questions, he irritated me to no end. "Ani-." The name died on my lips. The hurt, it pierced my heart and I wondered if I was really that masochistic, stabbing myself repeatedly. Itachi froze when I spoke. He didn't need me to finish the word, the already thick atmosphere intensified and I inwardly wanted his hands to keep going lower.
I had officially gone insane. This was it, I was crazy. Consumed by the pain, hate, and betrayal. I dropped my Façade and used Itachi's momentary surprise to wrap my legs around him. "Sasu-" "Aniki." I said. The word felt so empty on my lips. How long since I had said that word out loud? The knife to my heart hurt but the pain felt so good I garbled out again. "Aniki!" I ground my crotch against his and felt his rumbling chest flow right into my own body, making my chest burn in anticipation.
Itachi's hands guided along my muddy skin and grabbed me by the pants, pulling them down and twisting my legs around to get them entirely off of me, discarded somewhere in the black abyss. "Why?" He hissed, digging his fingernails into my lower back, peeling off the skin slowly as my weight created resistance to his hold. "Why do you want this!?" He scolded me as if we were children again, disregarding everything that we had been through. "I miss… my Aniki." Confessing this, it went against everything I had been convincing myself up until now. My lower half was partially suspended in the air as I clutched my ankles tightly around his waist, my dick rubbing against his slick wet stomach.
I hoped in this moment, that he would just continue to touch me like this… and when he was done, I wanted nothing but for him to plunge his cold kunai into my neck and end this suffering for me if no one else can. Only him, it would only be okay in this moment. I would die satisfied and would never be forced to face the consequences of harboring these passionate feelings within for the treacherous Uchiha.
"Foolish little brother." He replied, his voice as cold and emotionless as ever, splitting like ice. "Allow me to show you how horrible the thing you want from me can really be." The threat was ominous and his arms slid up to my back, practically yanking me from my position wrapped around Itachis waist, ripping my hands free of their seal, forcing me around and onto my knees.
A sharp blow to my shoulder forced my face into the ground, the taste of dirt seeping into my mouth, At the moment I could say that I've tasted worse things. Searing lips clutched my ear and his steamy breath whispered devilishly, "I'll fill you up to the brim with hate, You want me to touch you? I'll do things you could not imagine…" Was he giving me an option? Though he said it hatefully, I felt as if he was urging me to fight again him. But my swollen heart ached for more, I was not satisfied…
I felt something long and thick slide between my ass and my back arched instinctively. "I'm surprised little brother, your ass seems to be calling out to me. Okay, if that's how you want it. I'll make you into my toy, whose soul purpose is to squeeze the juices out of me," My eyes burned as I felt him slap my ass, the humiliation as he held my head into the dirt could do nothing to waver my intentions. My hands, now freed, could save me, take me away from this place forever but why would I want that? I had nothing left for me, Itachi was the final purpose of my life and then my meaningless existence would fade away and I would be only remembered as a traitor. "I'll make you wish you were never born."
Without warning and nothing to prepare me for the intrusion, he sank his dick into me, the immense pain shot through my back and erupted a scream that was silenced as I took in a mouthful of dirt. "Hate me Sasuke." Like a dream my world began to spin, my ass burned as he slid himself out and slammed deeper inside of me, the force of his thrust pulled me back and slammed my face into the mud with a new found force.
"Ani!" My muffled cry was swallowed by the earth. He thrust into me even deeper, I felt like I would split in half at the force and my elbows gave out beneath me, my hands clutching at a protruding root as my whole upper half was consumed in mud. I couldn't breath anymore as all, my nose and mouth was flooded and the urge to inhale was becoming unbearable with every thrust.
"What's the matter? Want me to stop?" His voice was so hateful, and my heart throbbed, I tried to shake my head, but all I could manage to do was raise it enough to take a deep inhale of soggy air. "Well Sasuke!?" He yelled almost viciously, "Is this what you wanted!?" I couldn't answer him, because the angrier he spoke, the harder he banged me into the dirt, my body was soaked and the ripples of intense pleasure going off inside me made me unable to form words. "Is it!?"
In a desperate attempt to answer, as he pulled out and prepared to drill me again, I jerked my body back to meet him, the force digging him so deep, striking something within that caused me to moan in ecstasy, arching my back and swallowing a clump of mud I cried out, "Aniki!" The bliss pooled in my stomach and I panted whorishly as tears of pleasure spilled out, burying my face deeper into the ground, I could feel the mud slather into my hair and I felt so dirty, inside and out.
The realization of the way I was acting dawned on me and the shame burned into my heart. But I kept jerking back to meet him… "Look at that greedy ass…" Itachi panted out, his voiced laced in lust and he pounded into my sweet pleasure point. "Who would have known my dear little brother would grow up to be such a slut?" I wanted to correct him, wanted to say how I was not a slut, that I would never do anything like this for anyone…
He was always the exception in my life.
It didn't take much more, the steady stream of pain from my twisted back turned into pleasure and as it mixed in with my humiliation, the thirsty masochist inside of me hungrily took in Itachi. I spread my legs wider and in a final burst of energy, I orgasmed with a shout, "Aniki!" suddenly he felt much larger as I collapsed in onto him, he grunted and breathed out "Sasuke…" as he shot his load into me, pulling and dropping me onto my stomach, and the warmth was gone. In that moment he unsheathed himself from me, my heart was too full to last anymore and it burst.
Panting heavily I lay there, The rain slowed to a stop and all was quiet, I had long since been left alone, I wasn't even sure when Itachi had left me here but I did not move, staring up at the sky covered in mud, leaves, blood, and cum. It felt like an eternity since I had left team Hebi behind and traveled ahead seeking solstice. Finally the sun seeped through the darkness and I felt blinded, gathering the energy to shade my eyes with my arm.
I loved him. I loved him and yet he so willingly used me and tossed me away, didn't even spare so much time as to put me out of my misery…
How dare he… how dare he do that to me. Why couldn't he just kill me?
I hated him…
I was hurting everywhere and the dried mud caked onto my skin itched desperately, my soul was so numbed that there was nothing left. My heart had been broken, and I think he knew what he was doing when he came to me tonight, now there was no more love to hold me back. He would not take my life, so I would have his. I would bath in his blood and the loss of him, the man I loved, would return me to that state of tortured bliss, and bask in the heart crushing hurt.
Because I've become so addicted to being hurt… now…
I could never be satisfied…