Disclaimer: I don't own IZ, Johnen Vasquez does, blah-blah-blah...
It started with one sentence, "I finally have proof about your existence Zim."
Zim was in the Skool cafeteria poking the nutrient sludge they served there when Dib approached him with this statement. "What is it this time, Dib-monkey? A photo? A video? Tell Ziiiiiim!" The invader crowed nervously.
"Even better," Dib gloated, "As you know, my dad has been working on a device that can scan retinas and memories to determine if someone is lying. If you get a match on both the retinal scan and the memory scan, then you're telling the truth." Zim began to sweat nervously. "Well he's finished it and, not only does it work, but you can print off the results pictures included." He leaned in close to the nervous alien.
"S-so?" Zim stammered, "What does this have to do with me?"
"Well, knowing that I've seen you without your disguise, and I remember every little escapade and plot that I've foiled - then you can guess what I'm going to do with that machine." He leered.
"You lie, you LIIIIE!!!!!" Zim screamed, "You wouldn't have the guts to do that you puny earthling. And besides, even with the proof, who would you tell aside from that revolting 'Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery' about me, Ziiim? Who would you tell?"
"I have my connections…Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some speech writing to do. When they dissect you, I think they'll want me to be present and a speech never hurt anyone." And with that, the satisfied child walked off, whistling a merry tune, thinking about the glory he'd get for exposing Zim.
Zim, however, was left to worry his little head off. What if the Dib-stink really does expose Zim? Then all will be lost! The Tallest will be furious!!! I cannot allow this to happen! I must stop him…but how?
Once the kids were back in Mrs. Bitters' class, Zim raised his hand. The snake-like teacher looked at him coldly, "What is it Zim?"
"I am afraid that I have the brain worms. Could I possibly go home and get them killed, please?" Zim asked politely.
"Will you be missed if you never come home?" the old bat asked.
"Then you may go. Now-" she continued, "Today's lesson is on AIDS and how, even if we find the cure, we're all doomed" Zim scurried off to his base with a worried, sick look on his face.
Zim sat in the lab of his base, pondering the predicament that he was in. If he didn't come up with a solution to the Dib problem, his mission, and possibly even the entire Operation Impending Doom II, would be compromised. But how could he possibly stop the Dib-human from scanning Zim's true identity and showing it to the whole Earth?! The boy's human, he doesn't care about the Irkans' safety! Wait-! What was it that the humans said? "If you can't beat them than join them, eh?" Zim thought aloud, "So, instead of beating Dib, I should join him…or he should join Zim." As the fiendish idea popped into his head, Zim began to cackle evilly. Yes….this is the solution to my problem! Just you wait Dib, this is your last peaceful night of rest…
The next day, Dib walked in to Skool cockily, a big grin pasted to his face, "Today's the day Zim" he said, "My dad is moving the machine soon and this will be the only time I can use it before he gives it to the government to mass produce for use in the courts of law. Unfortunately, it takes a while for the results to print so you have a little longer to bemoan your existence or even leave the planet."
"Oh I do not think I will be leaving the planet anytime soon, but, before I do (if I do)," Zim said calmly, "I would like you to have this PAK as a souvenir. You have been a most worthy adversary and though my job would have been much easier without you, it also would have been less fun."
A little red flag went off in his head, where had he heard those words before? He ignored it however, "Uh, okay…" He accepted the PAK and then winced, something had pricked him! He looked at Zim who had a Cheshire grin spread across his face and then back at the PAK, why was some of this so familiar? Ah well…
Skool went on as normal: Mrs. Bitters droning on about how the Earth was doomed and how she had been a snake tamer, until her favorite snake got infected with a virus and imploded, destroying six of the seven layers of Hell, gym ending in Dib with a wedgie and Zim hurting his squeedelyspooch, then came lunch. Dib sat down with Gaz, as usual, but he noticed Zim staring at him intently. Slightly disturbed, Dib started to dig in to the Skool food and then stopped. The food was horrid, even more horrid than normal; to top it off he seemed to be having a severe allergic reaction to it! And it wasn't even corn and mayonnaise day!
"Gaz-!" he choked out, "Gaz – help…" his sister ignored him as he thrashed about on the floor, the food seeming to burn his very skin. Zim just laughed and walked away. As soon as he could, Dib ran to the fountain to rinse the horrid taste out of his mouth. When the water touched his mouth, his skin began to smoke and burn horribly; he shrieked and leapt away, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. What is wrong with me?!!! He thought, First the food, now the water; am I becoming hyper allergic to everything?! And why did Zim look so smug?
When he got home he promptly ran to his room and looked in the mirror, "Is this the 'puberty' I'm supposed to go through when I'm older?" he asked himself, "Severe allergic reactions to food, water, and – HOLY CRAP IS MY SKIN GREEN?!!!!!!" he peered into the looking-glass at his reflection intently; yes, his skin did seem to be a light shade of green, and his hair seemed to be thinning. He ran his hand through his hair and a large clump fell out. "Is this normal?!!!" He shook his head and more strands fell to the floor, "Get a hold of yourself Dib! You're just overly paranoid today. This isn't some horrific transformation or anything. It's all in your head; it's stress related. Now buck up and let's get that proof!!!" he ran off to Professor Membrane's lab where the machine was.
While Dib slept, Zim watched a screen in his base intently, "Yes Dib-monster, sleep! For this shall be the last peaceful sleep you shall ever have! According to my statistics and simulations, my plan should be complete by morning." His laugh echoed through the night's noises, insanity echoing off the walls of the houses. Yet Dib was totally unaware.
A/N: This is one of those 'It's going to leak out of my brain' ideas, the ones you have to write or your head'll implode. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Enjoy!!!!