Disclaimer: I don't --- wait, do we have to do this? Oh, we do?! Hm... Kay then *clears throat* InnowaydoIownIZ(thoughIwishIdid) What? you say you couldn't understand that? Ah well...
About three weeks after the incident, Dib seemed to have adjusted to his life as an alien disguised as a human even though he hated it. He hated the fact that he had to rely on Zim for food that wouldn't nearly kill him. He hated the fact that he had to lie to everyone, his dad, Gaz, the kids at Skool, everyone. He despised the fact that he had to pass on information about the Earth to Zim and call him 'Sir'. He hated that he was now the very thing he despised most, an alien. The only thing that kept him going was the thought of redemption, the littlest hint that he might be able to reverse the DNA altering. Well, that and revenge.
Having a PAK was an interesting experience for him. All that information, more than two hundred times more than the human brain could hold, was stored in that PAK which also served as a life-support system, an extra set of appendages, a communicator, a GPS, and any tool he could possibly need. But the information was of the most use to him, finally, here was all the things he'd ever want to know about Zim and his people (he refused to consider himself and Irken even though genetically he was): their strengths, their weaknesses, their tactics, and even their mating rituals (which, strangely enough, consisted of a show of height, a battle between the two who would mate, and then a complex ceremony which resulted in them adding their combined genes being added to the gene pool at the smeeting rooms (after that, they resumed their normal lives as if it had never happened)).
Still, he couldn't get used to the claws that now tipped his fingers or the antennae that adorned his head. They, even now, seemed like they were in the way and the extra senses that the antennae brought on (along with the sensitivity that came with having what was essentially a bundle of nerves on his head) were cumbersome and sometimes he forgot about them.
For the most part, he just went on with his daily life: Skool, information gathering, reverse engineering, formulating revenge, bed. Once or twice there was an anomaly in the routine he had become so dependent on, such as the time Zim decided to show him off to the Almighty Tallest.
That day Zim had ordered him to come over to his base immediately so Dib began to worry, What if he knows what I'm doing?!! What if he's going to take my PAK away from me? He began to sweat but he complied anyway. Once he got to the base, the guard-gnomes watching him carefully as he entered, he stood at attention (after disabling the holo-disguise), saluting with his antennae (actually he was making a rude gesture akin to the Finger but Zim was to egotistical to really notice). "Yes Sir?"
What he saw was the two Irkens he had seen back when Zim had been kidnapped (A/N: "The Frycook What Came from All That Space") on the TV screen and Zim, saluting proudly in front of them. "Dib!" He turned to face him for a moment then faced his leaders again "See, here is the proud Irken that once was the Dib-monkey."
"Fascinating…" Purple said, "And you did this to him using the same technology that you used when you turned the two of you into bologna?"
"Speaking of which," Red interjected, "How did you fix that?"
"It was a very painful and long procedure involving GIR, a robot gerbil, three tons of wheat germ, and twenty-two rabid weasels." Zim and Dib both shuddered at the thought, "But yes, it was the same technology."
Dib grinned on the inside. Thank you Zim, he thought, for giving me that lovely bit of information…
"And do you plan to have him trained as an Invader?" Red asked.
"Oh Irk no!" Zim looked shocked, "The Dib is far too human in the head to be a good Invader. No, I plan to continue to use him to gather information on this filthy planet. What better way to learn than through the experiences of a native?"
I'm right here you dolt…you should watch what you say or you'll regret it more than you're already going to… He glowered, both at the idiotic and vindictive leaders of the Irkens and Zim.
"Ah…well….keep up the good work" Red and Purple hurriedly signed off.
Armed with this new information, Dib set to work on his revenge. It was already in the later stages of development and he pretty much just needed to test it and then find a way to get it to Zim. As he looked at the cells under his dad's electron microscope he grinned, it worked. Now…how to get it to Zim so that it would make the biggest impact on him? Oh-! Dib's grin stretched into a sneer, Just you wait Zim…I'm going to get my revenge, and then we'll see who's laughing then! He went to bed a few minutes later, his thirst for revenge finally satiated.
Zim awoke from a deep coma-like sleep that all Irkens need to recharge their PAKs and groggily sat up and looked at the clock. "SIX?!!!!!" He shrieked, "Why didn't my PAK wake me?!!!" He got up and went to don his costume when up walked GIR.
His eyes turned red when he spotted Zim, INTRUDER ALERT! He shouted, HIYAAAAAA! And he grabbed Zim roughly and took him to the front of the house and tossed him out the door.
"GIR!!!!" the surprised Zim yelled, "GIR get back here and let me in!!!!! I cannot be seen outside without my-!!!" He stopped screaming at the robot when he caught his reflection in the puddle he was sitting next to. What he saw, would scar him for life.
A/N: Wow that ended quickly….ah well… anyone who can guess what Dib did to Zim (and how he did it) gets a cookie!