Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man, no matter how I wish I could. That privilege belongs to Katsura Hoshino only.

WARNING: This multi-chaptered story is going to have very short chapters, however I hope that the content that will be in it will still make you like it enough to review. The crack is gonna start at chapter 2 and 3, so please read the other chapters before backing off the fic if you still don't like the it after having read them. This is my first attempt at writting a multi-chaptered story for DGM alone. Enjoy! ^^

Written for a request in the DGMkinkmeme community:

Kanda's "the birds and the bees" talk... to those who read the new chapter already...

...and went "awwww" when dear Yuu-chan asked what mothers were...

I do believe that was the beginning of Kanda's "the birds and the bees" talk. But, as we saw, it was interrupted.

What if, to this day, that talk was never finished? What if Kanda, gorgeous hot bastard that he is, remained oblivious and innocent even now that he is 18(?) years old?

Just grab that idea and write what you think it entails:
People hitting on Kanda, someone seducing Kanda without him understanding what is happening, awkward situations a few years ago where Kanda wondered what the hell was happening to his body, one of his friends having to give him the complete the bees and the birds talk (....just imagine Allen, the closet pervert we all know he is after all those formative years with Cross, giving Kanda the Talk... xD), Kanda feeling sexually attracted to someone and feeling really confused because he doesn't understand what it is - whatever strikes your fancy. Multiple fills (and even one-sentence fills!) welcomed.

Chapter 1: Wet Dreams

Kanda stared at the tent in his pyjama pants in horror, embarrassment making his face flush with shame. A knock sounded from his door, and he scrambled to hide himself in the mattress.


Silence hung from the other side of the door, followed by an unsure, "Yuu-chan? Is everything alright? I heard you screaming earlier..." Oh shit. Not the rabbit, not now!

Old instincts die hard, they say, and Kanda was no exception to that rule. "Don't call me by my first name, baka Usagi!!"

Still, Lavi opened the door to peek inside. The sight that greeted him, however, was one he least expected: a flushed Kanda drenched in sweat, eyes a little wider than normal, and his almost unnoticeable squirm on his bed in an attempt to pull the sheets closer to him, as if to hide something.

It clicked inside his head, and he couldn't help but giggle at the situation. Kanda glared at him. "What the heck's so damn funny, rabbit?!"

"You don't know why you're like this?"

A frustrated growl was his answer. "Do I look like I know?"

"Allow me to enter and I'll explain. No use of Mugen on your part."

"... Fine. Get in, tell your stuff then get out."

Lavi closed the door and dragged a chair to sit beside the now attentive samurai. "Say, Yuu-chan, did you ever have wet dreams before?"

A raised eyebrow. "What's a wet dream?"

Then, "And don't call me that!"

"Well, you see, wet dreams are what you have when you're either in love or attracted to a person. It's a graphic scene of two naked persons touching and stimulating each other in intimate ways. You can also have the mental and physical attraction for someone both at once. It's normal to experience this." Lavi received a blank stare for his description.

Kanda's next question made Lavi wonder just how much he knew about NC-17 matters. "But aren't physical and mental attractions meant for mothers and fathers only?"

Okay, there goes the first chapter. I don't know when I'll get out the second one, however I'll try to finish this fanfic as I fill the other requests on my list. Plz review; I need mental support badly for this fic right now.