AN: Chapter 3 of Farewell to the Old Me is almost finished, but my muse was nagging me for some smut, so I just had to placate her. I don't own anything, per usual. Thanks to The Replacements for one of my favourite movie lines of all times: "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever." Fuck, yeah.

I can't think of a more perfect way to spend a summer day. On one of those very rare days here in Forks, Washington, the sky is perfectly blue. There isn't a cloud to speak of, and our sun-starved bodies are soaking up the rays. My friends and I are taking full advantage; we broke out our bikinis to let the sun see as much of our bodies as possible. The guys seem to like it too.

We've all made our way to River Rock, a really great swimming place on Calawah River. It's a narrow section of the river where a small island briefly divides it into two small waterfalls. There are boulders to be used as convenient stepping stones to get to the island without getting wet, which is excellent for those of us who plan to do more sunbathing than swimming. And yes, we know the dangers of sunbathing, but did I mention how rarely we actually see the sun here?

There was a time, before I moved to Forks, that I would never have had the nerve or desire to wear a bikini. That was the old Bella, Phoenix Bella. Forks Bella has two kickass best friends who have broken her out of her shell.

"Hey Bitches." Speak of the devil. Rosalie Hale is the kickassiest of the kickasses. She grins as she steps from the final boulder onto the island.

"It's about fucking time, Bitch!" I jump up and give her a bone crushing hug. It's the first time I've seen her since we all got home from college for the summer. I had the latest exam, so I was the last one home. I've already missed a party or two. Bitches. Not that I'm bitter or anything. None of us have really gone that far for school – Seattle and Portland mostly – but those of us in different cities miss each other like crazy.

"How'd you get here?" my other best friend Alice Brandon asks. You have to get to River Rock by ATV, and Rosalie doesn't have one of her own. Not that she can't afford one, but I know she's waiting for the new Yamaha Wolverine 450.

Rosalie jabs her thumb over her shoulder, and I turn to see the most gorgeous creature to walk God's green earth; the object of the best of my masturbatory fantasies, Rosalie's cousin Jasper Whitlock.

"Ladies," he greets us with a nod, and good God, every time he opens his mouth I get the good tingles in my girly bits. Jasper is even newer to Forks than I am, having moved here halfway through senior year from Texas. And his accent? Gets. Me. Fucking. Wet.

"Hey Jas," I say, trying to be casual, and hoping to hell I pull it off.

"Bella," he says, putting down the cooler he's carrying and pulling me into his arms for a hug. I bite back a moan as his hands splay against the bare skin of my back.

I sit down to catch up with my girls, all the while keeping an eye on Jasper. He's talking to Edward and Emmett, the Cullen twins who are each other's complete opposites, both physically and in personality. Emmett's eyes keep flicking towards Rosalie, and I can see nothing has changed on that front. Em has always had the hots for Rose, but she's never given him the time of day. And fuck, the current of sexual tension on this fucking island could power Forks for a year. I'm watching Jasper, Em's watching Rose, and Alice only has eyes for Edward. They dated pretty much all through high school, but broke up last year, shocking us all. I don't know about Edward, but my girl Alice has never gotten over him.

"Come on," Emmett booms, causing us all to turn towards him, "time to hit the water!" He quickly rips his t-shirt off and runs towards us girls, grabbing Rosalie and pulling her in with him. I laugh at her shrieks and string of profanities when they surface, but my laughter falls short when Edward grabs me and follows suit.

I come up sputtering and give Edward a nice big splash in the face, at which he laughs.

"You fucking douche," I say, but my words are tempered by my grin.

"Come on J, you fucking pussy," Emmett yells, and I look back to the island to see that Jasper is sitting on my towel next to Alice, the two of them shaking their heads at us.

The four of us goof off in the water, and then Rose and I swim toward the island, staying in the water but holding onto the rock. The twins are taking turns trying to drown each other.

"R, you should give Em a shot," I say, watching the boys, who are out of earshot.

"Maybe," she says with a look over her shoulder at him, and I'm surprised because that's more promise than I've ever heard from her about him.

"What about you, you gonna move on that?" she asks, nodding toward her cousin. I look up at Jasper who is laughing at something Alice has said.

I shrug and look away, knowing I won't. I've got a lot more confidence than I used to, but Jasper Whitlock is a fucking god, and I don't see him ever being into me.

"You should probably make a move before Alice beats you to it."

My eyes snap back to the two of them laughing together and I tense, watching Ali place one of her tiny pixie hands on Jasper's forearm, one of her signature flirtatious movies. A surge of jealousy courses through my body, but I quickly realize that she's probably trying to make Edward jealous, if anything, and knowing that I'm into Jasper, she'd never make a move on him. Rose knows this too and the bitch is just trying to goad me into action. I raise my eyebrows at her and she grins.

"He's not as untouchable as you think he is," she says.

"Whatever," I say, wanting to change the subject. I look up at Jasper again, and think about the time we all spent together last summer, realizing I'd never seen him get into the water. "Hey, why doesn't he ever swim? Doesn't he know how?"

"He knows how," she answers my second question, ignoring my first.


She shrugs. "Not my story to tell."

Huh. I hadn't realized there was a story to tell, and now I'm curious.

I pull myself out of the water as Rosalie swims back towards the boys, and I wonder how serious she was about giving Emmett a chance. I hope she does, 'cause I think they'd actually work really well together. I sit down next to Jasper on Rosalie's towel.

"How's the water?" Alice asks from his other side.


She hops up gracefully and shoots me a wink before diving into the water, swimming towards the other three.

"You don't want to go in?" I ask.

Jasper shakes his head, but doesn't say anything.

"How come?"

He looks at me for a long moment before letting out a sigh.

"I don't like taking my shirt off in public."

I'm shocked. I mean, the guy is seriously cut, you can see it through his taut t-shirt. He's not bulging like Emmett, but he's definitely very well toned. I can't think of any reason he would be ashamed of his gorgeous body.

"Why not?" I ask, and it occurs to me that maybe I shouldn't be prying.

Jasper takes a moment to answer, and it looks like he's warring with himself. Finally he stands up and holds out a hand to pull me up.

"Come on," he says.

I take his hand and follow him as he leads me off the island, across the stepping stones to the shore. He hasn't dropped my hand, and my heart is pounding in my chest so hard I'm surprised he can't hear it. He leads me off into the woods to where the ATVs are parked. He leans against his while I lean back against the one parked beside it, which happens to be Emmett's.

"The guys have seen it, I mean... there's the locker room, you know?" he mutters, looking down at our feet. "Girls, though..."

I have no idea what he might be talking about. A third nipple? A weird birth mark?

"Whatever it is, Jasper, I'm sure it's not as big a deal as you think." I hope. I don't know how well I'd handle finding out that Jasper looks like Robin Williams beneath his t-shirt, for example.

Jasper meets my eyes before inhaling and pulling his t-shirt over his head. My breath catches at the sight before me. Jasper's body is as amazing as I've always thought, from his rippling abs to his solid pecs. And running from his right shoulder to his navel is a long, jagged, faded scar. I can't help but stare. When I finally look up to Jasper's face, he is looking away from me, looking defeated.

"Jasper," I say, my voice breathy, "what happened?"

"It was an accident on the ranch," he says, avoiding details. He still isn't looking at me.

I know what Rosalie meant now, when she said he wasn't untouchable. I saw him as this infallible god, beyond my grasp, but it's obvious he sees himself as unattractive and broken. How wrong he is.

"Jasper," I say, stepping in close to him and reaching up to touch his stomach where the scar begins. He inhales sharply and looks at me, his eyes hopeful. "Don't you know?" I brush my fingers over his skin, my index finger tracing the scar upwards. "Chicks dig scars."

I barely register his movement before his lips crash into mine, his tongue seeking entrance between my lips. I welcome him greedily, overjoyed that this is finally happening.

"Bella," he moans as he breaks the kiss and moves to my neck, marking me as his. I am his.

"Jas," I say as my other hand joins the first between us, splayed on his chest. He shudders as my thumb grazes his nipple. He pulls me closer to him as he recaptures my mouth, our bodies pressed tightly together. I let out a moan as I feel his erection against me. His hands move to my ass and he grinds us together. But as he reaches up to untie the stings of my bikini top, I step away. I stop his confused yet accepting look with a grin as I move toward my own ATV – which actually belongs to my angler father – and pull out a blanket I know has been stashed in the storage compartment. Good ol' Charlie, always prepared.

Jasper grins as he catches on to my plan. He follows me off the trail and further into the woods where there is a clearing not too far away. Because as much as fucking Jasper Whitlock on his ATV makes me hotter than Hell, the others could appear at any moment and I'm not inclined to put on a fucking show.

I stop when we get to the clearing and Jasper presses himself into me as I try to focus on spreading the blanket. It's fucking difficult with him kissing and nipping at my neck and his cock pushing against my ass. I finally get the blanket spread out and quickly turn in his arms to reciprocate the attention he's giving me.

Our lips crush together and I fist my hands in his honey blond hair. God, how long have I wanted to do that? The soft curls feel even better wrapped around my fingers than I imagined.

Jasper's hand ghosts up my side to palm my tit and fuuuucccckk. I wish he'd finish what he'd started doing on the ATV and undo my top already. Well hee fucking haw – jackpot! He tugs on one of the ties around my neck and then one at my back and the top falls away.

"Fuck, Bella," he says reverently as he studies my tits. He squeezes one as he bends down to capture the other nipple with his mouth, his hot tongue swirling around it. I pray to Jesus and Gaia and whoever the fuck else will listen, thanking them for this moment, because I can't remember the last time anything felt this good. And we're only just getting started. Fuck, yeah!

I break away from Jasper to lie down on the blanket and propping myself up on my elbows, crook my finger at him to join me. He gives me a saucy grin and slowly, tantalizingly, pushes his shorts down. I don't know when I got so fucking religious, but I find myself sending thanks up to the powers that be once again, because Jasper's cock is long, thick, and fucking gorgeous. I can't help myself, I have to taste him. Now. I move to my knees and stop him from getting down onto the blanket. I look up at him through my eyelashes and bite my bottom lip, and I'm rewarded with a shiver from Jasper as he gleans what I'm about to do. I run my hand up his thigh, and his head falls back as I palm his balls. I wrap my other hand around his big, beautiful cock and give him a few strokes before I lick my way from root to tip, swirling my tongue around the head and catching a glistening drop of precum. Jasper moans and threads his hands into my hair. I move the hand that's been cupping his balls to grab his ass, and my other hand moves to the base of his shaft as I take as much of him in my mouth as I can, my lips barely meeting my fist. Fuck, he's huge!

"Bella," he groans, "fuuuuucccckk." Hold on, big boy, we've only just begun.

I bob my head, sliding my mouth over his cock, my tongue gliding along the underside of his shaft. His hands tighten on my head, and I open my throat, taking as much of him in as I possibly can. He thrusts into my mouth, his control slipping. I love the blissful look on his face, his eyes clenched tight. I can tell he's close, and I want to send him over the edge. I slide my finger down the crack of his ass, sliding over his puckered opening before putting gentle pressure on the slip of skin between it and his balls. He jerks into my mouth more sporadically. I let out a long moan, the vibrations surrounding him, and that does the trick. He's calling out my name in a strangled voice and coming into my mouth. I swallow every last drop before I let his cock fall from my mouth with a pop.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," he says as he falls to his knees in front of me.

I smirk at him, but he wipes that shit off my face with a searing kiss, pushing me down on the blanket.

"Your turn, Beautiful," he says, tugging on my bikini bottom. I lift my hips to help him along. He starts running his hands up my legs, and I swear to God he fucking licks his lips as he stares at my pussy. My body tingles in anticipation.

Jasper runs his nose along my thigh, stopping sporadically to place open-mouth kisses. I want him to get to the point already and my pelvis thrusts toward him. He looks up at me with heavy lidded eyes. I shiver as I feel his nose skim lightly over my folds, and when his tongue finally touches me, my head rolls back in pleasure and relief.

Oh God, how did a guy who's uncomfortable taking his shirt off around girls get so good at this?! Oh shit, did I say that out loud? I did, because he looks up at me and gives me a saucy wink. I'm too fucking far gone to be embarrassed about that right now. Jasper's tongue is taking turns swirling around my clit and dipping inside me, and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. The pressure is building inside me, and I'm gasping for air. As he rigorously flicks my clit and slides two fingers inside me, I hold my breath as the waves of my orgasm crash over me. He languidly licks me as I come down from my high.

Jasper kisses his way up my body, and as he nestles between my legs, I feel that he's hard again. He thrusts his hips and his cock sliding against the wet folds of my pussy feels so fucking good.

He sucks my earlobe into his mouth, and then whispers "You don't know how long I've wanted to fuck you. Will you let me fuck you now, Bella?"

I don't have the words, so I moan in response and grab his ass, crushing him to me.

"Is that a yes, Darlin'?"

Fuck, that accent will be the death of me.

"Fuck, yes."

He adjusts himself and guides his cock into me, and I was wrong before, this is the best thing I've ever felt. I tangle my hand in his hair and pull him to me, our tongues dancing as our bodies move together. Jasper is obviously struggling to keep a slow pace for me, but I want it fast and hard.

"Harder, Jasper. Faster!"

"Thank God," he says, leaning back to sit on his heels. He brings my legs over his shoulders and grips my hips, and fucks me harder than I've ever been fucked before. His cock reaches so deep, and his balls slap against my ass. He's slamming into me so hard I have to reach beyond the blanket and fist the grass to gain purchase.

"Jasper," I gasp as I tumble over the edge, and he quickly follows, calling my name.

We're lying together in a heap of tangled arms and legs, breathing heavily.

"Why didn't we do that sooner?" I ask, grinning at Jasper.

"Fuck if I know," he says, leaning in and kissing my neck, "but you can bet your ass we'll be doing it again."

Oh yeah. Again and again and again.

"So what's the answer to my question?" I ask. No sense being embarrassed now about what I blurted out when he was going down on me.

Jasper's hesitation makes me think he's trying to recall me asking a question, and then his lips curl into a smile against my neck. He shrugs.

"It's not that no girl has ever seen me without my shirt on, it's just... I didn't want to scare you off."

"So not something you had to worry about," I tell him. I have a thing for scars.

"Apparently," he says before leaning in to kiss me again.

Jasper and I get dressed and start walking back to River Rock, hand in hand. When we get back to the trail where the ATVs are parked, we both stop short as we see Rosalie – butt naked – rocking on top of Emmett – equally naked – on his ATV. Unlike me, they don't seem to be worried about being out in the open. Fucking exhibitionists! They don't see us, so smirking at each other, Jasper and I sneak quietly away towards the river.

As we emerge through the trees at the shore, we see Alice and Edward on the island, wrapped around each other, kissing hungrily.

I look at Jasper with a surprised smile on my face. It seems like something is going around today. He looks back at me with a smile and shrugs before leaning in to kiss me again.

"Let's go back to the clearing," he says against my lips.