I've never been more digusted by something I've written before, in my life. This is extremely terrible, and I apologize for wasting your time with this. I intended on this kind of where the story starts to pick up. A lot. But obviously that doesn't happen. Sorry again.

Mild sexual content later on in chapter.


The Way We Are and the Way We Were Chapter Three

"Emmett, stop being such a baby."

"Lay off my donk, woman, that's private property."

"Okay, am I the only one who remembers you mooning me every morning back at the dorms? I've touched, and seen your donk more than you have."

"Stop it! Don't make me call the Rape Crisis Center on your ass."

"Come on, I just need to test something out."

"Dude, Jazz, get this crazy bitch off my trunk."

"Your being such a baby, just let me touch it."

"Oh shit that felt good."

"Eww, you freak!"

"Wait no, do that again!"

I let out a loud squeal as Emmett began to chase me around the Cullen's large kitchen, making Jasper, who was perched up on the counter of the kitchen, shake his head with a smile on his face.

"You guys are freaks," he muttered under his breath, taking a sip of alcohol from the last bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

"I just wanted to see if your butt was as hard as last year!" I giggled as Emmett picked me up from behind and began swinging me around like I was a damn rag doll.

"Nah, I think ya' just wanted to feel this hot ass," he joked kissing my head as I lightly kicked his shin with the back of my heel.

The feeling of being spun around repeatedly was beginning to make my stomach churn in a way that I knew wouldn't be good for either of us if he continued to spin me around.

Meaning they were both about to see the chocolate muffin I'd had for breakfast.

"Put me down, I've been drinking! I'm gonna' barf," I said trying to hold back a laugh (and my breakfast) as Emmett continued to swing me around. He let out a loud bark of ferocious laughter as he slowly began swinging me lower and lower to the linoleum floor, making me giggle as he slowly placed me on my back onto the floor.

Obviously we had gotten bored with the day old football game, so we decided to start cooking dinner, knowing Esme would be a little tired when she got home. She had recently started working again at the business she herself owned, and came home worn out most nights, but never worn out enough to not cook everyone a home cooked meal.

But after drinking beer and Smirnoff's for the past two hours, all I really felt like doing was getting even more drunk to the point where I'd be able to forget what had happened earlier that afternoon.

And maybe be able to forget the sounds of Edward's heavy footsteps stomping up the stairs angrily.

"You ass, I can't even see straight now," I muttered as I placed my arm over my eyes in hopes of blocking out the spinning room that was making me feel sicker and sicker to my stomach.

"I wonder what the chief would think if he saw his little alcoholic right now," Jasper said with a slight laugh, taking yet another swig from the foggy, white bottle that was just about half empty.

I laughed at that.

My father, Charlie didn't exactly approve of me drinking at all, ever since the night I had turned 21. Emmett and Jasper had decided to take me out drinking for my big day, and it was that night when I discovered how much I liked my vodka with lime. When I'd gotten home around 3:00 in the morning, still wasted, the chief himself had been waiting up for me, wearing his flannel robe and a disappointed frown that made me feel even more nauseous.

So nauseous that Charlie ended up having to throw that robe away, due to never being able to get the smell of my vomit out of it. It was a night to remember, and boy did I remember it.


"I'm not an alcoholic," I giggled from the floor, not even bothering to pick my head up from the cold, hard floor. "I like my alcohol, not a big deal."

Jasper shook his head once again as I slowly raised myself up with both hands bracing my upper body weight.

"I still have no idea what to make tonight," Emmett groaned from behind me. I slowly turned around, and when I did, the sight of Emmett bending over completely in front of the large, stainless steel refrigerator was laid out before me. I rolled my eyes before I quickly stood up, despite how heavy my head felt at the moment.

"Move over," I grumbled as I walked the few steps towards his muscular form, only before pushing him out of my way to peer inside of the large refrigerator, looking for anything that we could prepare for dinner that night.

My eyes made contact with a large box of six large, thick steaks. I sighed before pulling out the already defrosted meat from the refrigerator.

"I guess we can grill these up, unless Esme was planning on using these for something else," I shrugged as I pulled them out to hand them to Emmett. He looked at the red box with pursed lips before nodding his head.

"Yeah, this'll be good," he said before throwing them up onto the counter where Jasper was still sitting.

When Emmett, Jasper and I had first started college, I was pretty much the only one who really knew my way around a kitchen. Emmett and Jasper could barely use a microwave during our college years, let alone actually prepare an edible meal. I remember it had been Valentine's Day, and I'd recently gotten dumped by an old boyfriend whom I'd met in Phoenix during my stay there, and to cheer me up, they decided to cook my dinner in my apartment. I remembered I'd just come home from a long day of classes, ready to just eat an entire can of chocolate chip frosting and relax, but instead came home to the strong stench of burning food and the obnoxious sound of my smoke detector going off.

You'd think that I would be practically fuming at the sight of black smoke inside of my shoe box of an apartment, ready to kill both of my best friends for almost burning down my apartment and making an already bad week even worse, but the sight of Emmett wearing an apron with a woman's body wearing a stringy bikini painted on the front kind of made up for it.

We'd all had a good laugh and ordered Chinese food after we all cleaned up the mess they'd made, and the following week, I began their cooking lessons in their apartment. I figured that if one of our apartments had to burn down during failed experiments, it'd be theirs.

Soon enough, Jasper and Emmett had finally gotten the hang of cooking, and were cooking dinner at their apartment every night for us all, until I could finally trust them to cook in my own miniscule kitchen one night. They were quick learners and actually pretty good cooks once they finally knew the right way to do things.

Obviously Emmett, Jasper and I didn't live together in the same apartment or in the dorms anymore. (We'd graduated a while back and were currently spending the summer with our families in Washington) All of our parents decided that it wouldn't exactly be the most appropriate thing for us all to be living together under the same roof, so they helped us out a little with expenses during the first few months at our apartments; me living alone having the occasional drunken hookup, and Jasper and Emmett in their own little man cave. We'd tried living in the dorms during the first few months with roommates, but the dorms at Phoenix University weren't exactly of our liking. I'd gotten the typical insane roommate who enjoyed using my laptop and eating all of my low fat cottage cheese when I wasn't around, and Jasper and Emmett ended up getting roommates who weren't each other, despite the fact that they both had put in requests to be assigned the same room together.

They thought it was just because someone was out to get them. I thought it was because they'd noticed how tight Jasper's jeans were the day he came into the dorm offices.

I snorted at the thought as I re-opened the refrigerator door Emmett had just slammed shut, bending over slightly in search of something that I could possibly turn into a nice, green salad for dinner.

"Where are all the greens?" I mumbled quietly to myself as I bent down a little bit more, trying my best to peer down into the very bottom shelf in the refrigerator that was blowing its cold air against my face and chest. Then, out of nowhere, I felt a sharp slap against my bottom, making me yelp out in pain loudly.

"Ow ! Ow!! What the fuck was that!?" I screamed loudly and obnoxiously, my voice getting a bit pitchier than I preferred. I was starting to sound the same way Emmett did during our freshman year of high school. You'd never guess that a guy with a voice as deep as Emmett's once had the most girlish voice I'd ever heard in my life.

I quickly turned around, immediately making eye contact with a beautiful pair of baby blues that made my heart beat just a little bit faster than normal. His handsome, tan face hosting a smirk that made my cheeks turns red, even after all these years.


"I just thought I'd return the favor for Emmett," he said shrugging innocently, like the terrible pain shooting through my bottom meant nothing to him. His cocky smirk seemed to just get bigger and bigger.

That asshole slapped hard.

"You douche, that hurt!" I squealed charging towards him, laughing as we took a few steps back before I jumped on him, making him laugh as well.

"I couldn't help myself, it was just so... out there. Did you end up buying one of those Brazilian Butt Booster tapes?" he asked jokingly, not even falling back like I had expected him to do after I had pounced on him. He simply placed his hands on my love handles and lowered my sock clad feet to the ground safely.

I rolled my eyes at his stupid jab at my slowly growing rear end only before trying to stop my cheeks from heating up.

It's Firm and Tighten Your Butt By Thursday, thank you very much.

Sure I said I said I wasn't one to tell lies or hide things from my best friends, but that was just one of those things that are just meant to stay private... And under my bed.

Emmett laughed at that as he began placing the raw flanks of stank on a perfectly white, porcelain tray, getting them ready grilling. "Nice one," he muttered shaking his head smiling as he stood in front of the counter.

I slapped Jasper's shoulder, making him laugh even harder at my poor attempt at hurting him. He didn't even wince.

He was even wearing a white wife-beater that had his sun kissed, large upper arms completely exposed and that big idiot hadn't even cringed. He just laughed and sent me a quick wink that made my stomach cart-wheel a bit.

"Just shut it and help me make a salad," I grumbled under my breath as I listened to Emmett open and close cabinets before I turned back towards the stainless steel refrigerator that had started beeping due to being left open for more than a minute.

"So Belly, tell me about that guy you met in Jacksonville again, I need me a good laugh right about now," Emmett said as he reached into the cabinet next to the sink, bringing out a small plastic bottle full of meat tenderizer.

I laughed as my thoughts wandered to what had gone down during my visit to Florida to see my mother Renee and my step-father Phil, for Christmas, despite how guilty I felt about leaving my culinary-challenged father all alone for the holiday.

Lately, Renee had been completely obsessed with the fact that I was 23 years old and still single. In her head, I was a woman who sat at home alone on Saturdays sipping Jack Daniels and reading Danielle Steele books until I passed out in the late evening, and not the strong independent woman that I knew I was. She thought that my ignorance with relationships at the moment was going to screw me over in life, and I would end up dying alone with nothing but empty bottles of alcohol and torn pages from romance novels. So she meddled with anything she could possibly get her hands on; going as far as buying me an eHarmony account and sending messages to all of the strangers the stupid website had set me up with.

This particular Christmas, Renee had hired a guy around my age, Chris, to clean out the pool during the winter since the pool's automatic pool filter had broken due to swallowing all of the leaves that the winter weather had knocked into the clear chlorine water of the pool.

Which was kind of what you get when you get your professional baseball player of a husband to get a pool built right underneath one of the biggest trees in their backyard.

My first day there, I'd made the mistake of walking outside to the backyard with a carton of old, moldy milk in my hands on afternoon, in search of Renee to tell her how disgusting it was that she still had it. And that was essentially when my, "Christmas Hell' in Jacksonville began.

My mother's face brightened the same way a child's does on Christmas day when they realize how many presents they received for the holiday, and I could literally see the ideas floating around inside of her busy little head.

Chris certainly wasn't awful looking at all. From what my mother said, all the girls in the neighborhood enjoyed swooning over the 24 year old, dark haired man, and I couldn't blame them.

While he was extremely nervous around me, Chris was a genuinely sweet and a very intelligent person. He was an elementary school substitute who'd recently gotten his teaching degree, loved kids, liked to do extremely manly things like mountain climbing and running up and down beaches without a shirt on, (I wasn't complaining) things like that. Chris was a normal guy, he was a lot of fun to be around, and at first I was honestly glad that my mother had set us up together during my two week stay in Florida.

We'd first gone out to dinner at a nice restaurant, and that was a bit awkward at first, but things eventually picked up later on in the evening. He'd made jokes, told me stories about substituting for high school students who thought he was ignorant enough to believe that the students were allowed to use their cell phones during class, and just showed me what type of good guy he really was.

During the first week of my stay in Florida, Chris and I had spent loads of time together; infact I'd spent more time with Chris than I'd spent with Renee and Phil during that first week. Renee obviously didn't mind, she was just happy that I was spending time with someone of the opposite sex and not just up in the guest room, watching Lifetime movies and eating Christmas cookies until I could no longer fit into the skinny jeans Phil bought me.

The atmosphere around Chris was always nice and refreshing. He was so easy going, wasn't too speculating about things, and that was the type of guy I liked. I liked Chris. We'd done a little harmless flirting, nothing too bad. The most the poor guy did at first was breathe down my neck deeply once when he hugged me goodbye after a long day at the beach together.

Things changed with that guy as drastically as they could possibly could.

That Christmas Eve, Chris had taken me to the movie theater for a romantic comedy and overly buttered popcorn after hearing that I was home alone after Renee and Phil had gone to a Christmas party at a friend's house. Going to the movies seemed fun, so I agreed. The conversation before the movie started was easy and light; nothing too important.

That was until we made it to the middle of the movie. The fidgeting and quiet whimpers he thought I couldn't hear began.

"That guy was fucking bonkers," I said shaking my head, trying not to think about everything that had happened that night with him as I grabbed a large head of lettuce from the refrigerator, glancing back over at Emmett who was sprinkling different types of spices and seasonings over the steaks, making me smile.

He's learned damn well.

Emmett and Jasper's laughs echoed throughout the kitchen, ringing in my ear and making me cringe a bit before smiling even bigger.

Jasper and Emmett both knew the story quite well; they just enjoyed hearing it whenever they needed something to lift up their spirits a bit.

Chris's obvious fear of sex was just that.

I squatted down in front of the drawers before opening one of them up to pull out a cutting board.

"I still can't believe this guy started crying," Jasper laughed loudly, lightly throwing a knife onto the counter for me to begin cutting the lettuce, only before he went back over to the refrigerator to pull out more items to prepare a salad.

I rolled my eyes before laughing as well.

Having Chris run out of my bedroom butt naked was definitely one of the most funny, and frightening experiences of my life.

"No, not crying, he was like, sobbing and I couldn't get him to stop," I giggled as I took the lettuce over to the sink to rinse, looking back over at Emmett who was now rubbing the spices into the raw meat with his large hands, using his thick fingers to rub it a bit rougher. I turned on the bronze colored sink and let the cold water run over the leafy green lettuce, in hopes to rinse the bacteria and dirt away.

"You don't run away when someone puts a vagina in your face! You bang it, then call in sick to work, then bang it again," Jasper said, making Emmett and I almost topple over in violent laughter. I seriously thought I was going to cry from laughing so hard at the slightly vulgar joke.

Chris did cry when he and I had gone up to the room I was staying in at Renee and Phil's house, as strange as that sounds. He'd brought me home after a movie full of odd fidgeting throughout the whole film and strange looks at each other in the dark. He'd gotten out of the car and walked me to the front door, still looking a bit flushed and flustered as I continued to peer at him worriedly. I'd asked if he was okay, that if he needed something to drink or something, and the next thing I knew, my back was pressed up against the red wooden door of the house, and Chris's lips were trying to work themselves in-between my own.

As bad as it sounds, I knew that Chris and I would never end up having something special between us. I honestly couldn't see us having a life together with children or anything like that. I just couldn't see Chris and I's relationship going any further than a heated hook-up. And I was okay with that. I was okay with getting it on with a school teacher.

So I kissed him right back, working my bare lips into his as he continued to kiss me roughly. His cold, sweaty hands found the sides of my face as he we continued to kiss, making the cold air surrounding us seem a bit less uncomfortable.

Our lips broke away from each other's, and like the horny woman I was, I leaned forward and licked my tongue up his open lips, making a visible shiver go through him.

His face was red as I felt the cold nip at my now bare face and chest, finally making me speak up.

I asked him to come upstairs with me. He agreed.

Once up in the forest green colored room with crème colored bedding, I asked him to rip my clothes off.

He agreed.

Soon enough we were under my comforter with me on top of his cold, sweating body, rubbing ourselves onto each other in a heated craze to just get closer to each other. His grunts of pleasure only drove me to get the little show on the road.

He said something about not having a condom. I replied with something about not needing one. He smirked before leaning up to kiss me once again, letting his obviously skilled tongue slip inside my willing mouth. I remember giggling into his mouth, telling him to take it easy; how we had all night to do this. He leaned back down onto my bed as I ran my finger over his dark eyebrows, and over his lip, making him open up his mouth so I could slip it inside. I giggled once again at the sexual, ticklish feeling that was now running through my body at the feeling of his tongue skimming the length of my index finger.

Soon enough, I was pushed onto my back with an impressively sized man-hood at my entrance, and a beautiful, gasping man above me.

I saw it in his face then.

Chris snapped.

I felt his body begin to shake from on top of my naked one, making me lean over to the bedside table to turn on the lamp next to me. As the light flooded the room, I finally saw how scared he looked.

His blue eyes stared into mine, making me look away uncomfortably before speaking up.

I asked what was wrong, and that's when the water works and violent sobs that racked his entire body began; or the "Freakout" as I had come to call it. He fell onto the bed next to me as he put his head into his hands, making the sounds of his hiccups a little quieter, but not enough so that I couldn't hear them. I stared at him with wide eyes; half of me wanting to know what the hell was wrong with him, and the other wanting him to leave already.

I'd never had a man begin crying before slipping himself inside of me, so that was definitely a story to tell my grandkids someday.

I remember asking him what was wrong, and what I'd done, but all I got out of him was snot falling out of the openings in his laced fingers and repeated mumbles of "I'm sorry".

I reached over to where he had thrown my purple shirt with the ruffles in a haste to get me naked and put it back on quickly, only before reaching under the covers to grab for my green cotton panties.

His tan back was facing me, giving me the slight urge to touch him, but I was too scared.

I thought that if I were to touch him, he would want to get violent and hurt me or something. So I just stuck with telling him that it was okay and whatnot; I would do anything just to get the guy to shut up.

I said his name as I slipped them back on, and that was it.

Chris quickly jumped out of the queen sized bed, still completely naked as he threw the thick comforter off of him, picked up his clothes that were a dark heap in the floor, and sprinted out of the room. Still crying.

So he left me there.

Aroused. Still a little naked. My pride a little hurt.

I only saw Chris once after that, and that was to tell Renee that he wasn't going to be able to clean out the pool anymore. He didn't even glance at me, let alone give me an explanation as to why he bitched out and ran out of the room that night.

I was okay with never seeing him again. Even now I still don't know what I did to set Chris off.

I'm okay with that as well.

"I'm never going to get tired of that damn story," Emmett laughed, wiping his hands with the back of his eyes as I rubbed my wet hands over my jeans, finishing up telling the last, embarrassing bit of the story.

"I noticed," I laughed lightly, making Emmett smirk as I grabbed the knife to begin chopping the lettuce. Jasper began chopping up the tomatoes, making me smile lightly at his help.

For the next twenty minutes or so, Jasper, Emmett and I continued to prepare different things for dinner, all of us apart of a friendly conversation that included the regular things like the always fun teasing and joking.

While we weren't ones to push serious, important things to the backs of our minds and pretend they didn't exist, Emmett, Jasper and I never really had those deep, overly serious times between us. Our lives were easy going. And I loved it that way.

I never thought that those last minutes would be the last that anything at all would be easy going between us.

Everything was about to change in the worst way possible.


In the middle of Jasper's story of how he and his latest fling broke things off, for good this time, the sound of Emmett's ringtone filled the kitchen, making us both turn towards him.

He dropped the lemon slice that he was rubbing on the last steak that was almost ready for grilling as a large smirk formed on his face.

I felt my heart flutter in happiness at how happy he looked right then. He looked at me, and if it was possible, he smiled even bigger.

We both knew exactly who was calling.

"Oh shit," Emmett mumbled under his breath as he quickly ran towards the sink to wash his hands quickly, obviously trying to wash the juices from the raw meat away from his hands so that he wouldn't get it all over his expensive cell phone.

I laughed as I tossed the last bit of chopped lettuce into the large bowl full of different vegetables. The ring of the cell phone continued as Jasper and I both watched him in amusement as Emmett scrubbed his hands roughly with the thick dish soap.

"Em, calm down, Rose can wait," Jasper laughed throwing a cucumber into the bowl.

Emmett shot a sharp glare at him before quickly washing away the last bit of soap.

"Fuck you, I've been waiting all day for her to call," he said quickly turning off the water and grabbing a stray towel that was on the counter and quickly wiped his hands on it.

His phone ceased it's ringing, make his shoulders slump and I watched his face fall a bit. The call had gone to voicemail.

"Fuck, dammet," Emmett swore, digging into his back pocket for his cell-phone before quickly pulling it out and flipping it open.

I sighed as I let my head fall onto Jasper's shoulder, making him nudge his hip into mine lightly.

"I've been waiting all fucking day for her to call, and when she does, I miss it," Emmett groaned before leaning up his weight against the counter.

"Just call back, Em, it's not a big deal. Just say you were taking a crap," I joked, shrugging my shoulders making Jasper scoff and Emmett stand up so that he could lightly kick my bottom.

"Alright, I'm goin' out to the yard. Go downstairs and get some Patron will you?" Emmett asked flipping open his cell phone, obviously so that he could call back the girl whom he'd been swooning over for the past few weeks we'd been back in Washington.

"Thatta' girl!" I yelled, running after him slightly so that I could smack his muscular bottom. That made him laugh as he continued his walk towards the back of the house that led to the sliding door of the backyard.

Jasper shook his head as I turned back around towards him.

"You better get that Patron, he's gonna' need it after that," he said, obviously talking about how Emmett would end up being on the phone with Rosalie Hale for the next half hour talking about nothing Emmett honestly cared about.

All Emmett cared about was Rosalie, and Jasper and I could both see that.

Seeing Emmett walking out of the kitchen that late afternoon was the last time I saw Emmett for a long time.

I just wish I knew that, so that the last thing I had told him was something that didn't degrade his gender.

I nodded and smiled at him before turning around in the direction of the door that led to the basement.

On the other side of the house.

"Don't miss me too much," I smirked over my shoulder, earning a scoff from Jasper as I walked out of the kitchen.

Only a few seconds later was I in front of the door that led to the basement that would destroy my life forever.

If I'd known how much that basement would ruin everything, then I would've run out of the Cullen home, and never come back.

That basement changed everything that I ever knew about my life.

It changed everything.


Woo almost 5,000 words here! Sorry it took so long for this one, it was a hard week for me. It means a lot to me that you'd read this. Oh, and that whole butt grabbing thing actually happened. I almost got suspended for it too.

So yeah, why not leave me a review on this? It'd mean the absolute world to me if everyone who reads this left me a review. It pushes me a lot to write, and just makes me feel a lot better about posting my writing. So please please please review this. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.

Next update up soon. Things get crazy in the next one.