I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You

Summary: Mary Eleanor always had a thing for older men, and they've always had a thing for her. But when she meets one who won't have her, he turns her world upside down. RemusOC

Disclaimer: If any of you honestly think I think I'm JKR...you're too stupid to live.

**Note: So this is just a little something that happened over this break while I should have been finishing a chapter for Weather Girl, doing my homework, scholarship searches, planning my French VI independent study for the second semester, etc etc etc. But I felt like I should get it out there--don't know if it'll ever evolve into something else. Like No One Mourns the Wicked.

Nothing Calculated, Nothing Planned...maybe.



it seems crazy, but you must believe
there's nothing calculated, nothing planned!
please forgive me if I seem naive;
I would never want to force your hand,
but please understand
I'd be good for you!
I'd be surprisingly good for you...

[[Evita!]]


"Hey Mary, here comes your man!" Elise Winchester cooed dramatically at her best friend, who seemed off in her own little world as she stared at the man who walked by them.

"I'm in love, Elise; so ridiculously and absolutely smitten I could die!" Mary exclaimed, her eerily bright blue eyes following every swish of his shabby robes. She didn't care if he looked tired and even a bit old(er) -- Mary Eleanor Fawcett thought Professor Remus J. Lupin was nothing short of delicious.

"You and your obsession with old guys," Elise shuddered, disgusted by her friend's taste in the opposite sex. "I mean, I thought it was bad when you were hot for Snape that one time..."

"Professor Snape," Mary sighed sadly. "Let's not talk about what happened there."

"He's Professor Snape! What did you think would happen?" Elise squealed, trying not to gag at the thought of anything that greasy old git liked to do to girls.

"Well, yes, but he said my eyes were too blue. He only likes green eyes?" she shrugged. After all, Mary was over Snape; he was so sixth year. Besides, it wasn't as if they'd ever done anything beyond flirting and the one detention when she had boldly put her hand on his thigh and kissed him full frontal -- the kiss he broke off because her eyes were too blue. Whatever.

"Okay, can we stop talking about this and move onto something less weird?" Elise begged, causing her friend to laugh.

Okay, so it was pretty obvious to everyone who knew her that Mary Eleanor Fawcett was a bookish Ravenclaw who loved to learn, was generally cynical but tried to be friendly as opposed to caustic, could be classified as a genius but still continued to work hard and never let anyone forget it...and had a thing for older men. If asked, Mary would joke and say she had daddy issues, though her father (or lack thereof) wasn't exactly a laughing matter.

Regardless of why, Mary's love (or lust) for men old enough to be her father was a well-known fact and really, everyone should have seen in coming. Her first boyfriend was a seventh year, and she never dated anyone younger. In her sixth year, she'd developed a ridiculous crush on Professor Snape, but Mary preferred to pretend such business never happened. After all, this summer she found her true calling. He was 29 and a local fisherman, with messy brown hair and those dark brown eyes you can't look away from. Andrew Patterson was his name, and he certainly had no problems with how she looked, or even her age. Sure, that kind of made him a pervert, but Mary was also a temptress of a sixteen year-old.

When the year started, though, she forgot all about Andrew Patterson.

"Who is that?" Mary whispered to Elise, eying the unfamiliar man sitting at the Professor's table.

"Like I know?" Elise shot back, trying to get the attention of the boy sitting next to her. "I'm sure he's our new Defense teacher -- that whole curse thing, and all."

"Yeah..." Mary murmured, her gaze locked onto the man Professor Dumbledore just introduced as Remus Lupin. Elise was right -- this man was to take Professor Lockhart's (commonly regarded as sex on legs) place. How the heck was she supposed to concentrate and learn when Mary would no doubt be drooling over him during class? Eurgh. She wished Hogwarts could go back to the days of ugly old Professor Quirrell.

"So what were you telling me about that guy you met this summer?" Elise asked, giving up on Roger Davies, as the feast came to an end.

"Who cares? Andrew has just been replaced," she sighed, head in her hands.

"Wait, by that Professor Lupin guy? Seriously?" Elise eyed her warily. "You have got to be kidding me. He looks like he was homeless or something."

"He does not!" Mary shot back, offended. Okay, so maybe a little...

"You know," Elise butted in, breaking Mary away from her train of thought. "That Oliver Wood is staring at you. He's really fit."

Mary glanced towards the Gryffindor table distastefully and saw that, yes, Oliver Wood was blatantly staring. Yeah, he was pretty fit -- quite the dish, actually -- but he was so not her type, and not because he was her own age. For goodness sake, Wood was a Quidditch player who everyone knew was riding on signing with Puddlemere, because he was, well, more brawn than brain.

Being the intellectual Ravenclaw snob that she was, how was Mary supposed to justify snogging someone who didn't know the definition of a dangling modifier? Though she was sure some of her fellow Ravenclaws couldn't tell her that either.

Eh, she'd think about it. But at the moment, she had more important things to consider, such as how to lure Professor Lupin following her seventeenth birthday in two weeks. A very mischievous smile bloomed, and so did a twinkle in her eye...both visibly unnerved Elise.

"Er, c'mon Mary. Let's go to class," She suggested, grabbing her friend by the arm and dragging her up.

"But we'll be like the first people there," Mary pointed out. "Class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes."

"Don't you want to surprise Professor Lupin?" she asked innocently and both girls knew Elise had won.

"Okay, fine, but we have to stop by the common room because I left something," Mary sighed, giving in.

"Sure!" Elise agreed (anything to steal Mary's attentions away from whatever gave her that ridiculous grin and creepy look in her eye), and the two left the Great Hall together.

"What did you leave?" Elise asked, curious, as the two approached their common room.

"Oh, just everything, or did you not notice my lack of a school bag?" Mary laughed, gesturing to emphasize her empty arms.

"Mountains will crumble and temples will fall," the eagle on the door began when the two approached. "But no man can survive its endless call. What is it?"

The two paused for a moment to think, before a lightbulb went off in Mary's head.

"Time!" she said simply, and the door opened to reveal the beautiful Ravenclaw Common Room. With its tall arches and many windows, it was easy to forget was in a castle and not some medieval sanctuary (if it were a church of books, or something, because there were no altars, simply tables and chairs and bookcases).

The girls' dormitories were no different in their comfortable beauty, but Elise and Mary were not there to gawk at the architecture or time Rowena had put into her students' space. Mary quickly threw her books and other necessary items into her school bag and slung it over her shoulder. She looked at her best friend, a wicked grin on her face.

"Let's do this." she said, and Elise shot her a strange look.

"You make it sound like we're spies or something!" she exclaimed. "Honestly."

"Don't steal my thunder, Elise!" Mary scolded, a little put off.

"Oh whatever," Elise sighed, rolling her eyes. "Let's go. I'm sure you're dying to drool all over Professor Lupin."

"You know me so well!" Mary commented, an uncharacteristically roguish grin dancing its way onto her face.

"Mary Eleanor, don't you grin at me like that," her friend demanded. "It gives me the willies."

"Well don't you call me Mary Eleanor, then!" the other girl retorted, scrunching her nose in disgust as she cursed her mother a thousand times over for naming her "Fawcett, Mary-Eleanor Elizabeth" instead of just "Fawcett, Mary Eleanor."

"Miss Winchester! Miss Fawcett!" Professor Lupin exclaimed, surprised, as the two girls entered the Defense classroom, bickering as they were. "Class doesn't start for another ten minutes."

"We know," Elise supplied. "I wanted to get a move on and Mary was getting fidgety."

"I resent that," Mary countered. "Anybody would be fidgety with Oliver Wood staring at them like they were a sandwich or something."

Professor Lupin simply quirked an eyebrow at the pair, but proceeded to exchange words as if he weren't there.

"Oh come on, Mary, honestly!" Elise prodded, putting her books down on her desk. "Any other girl would simply die to have a fit guy like Oliver eying them."

Mary 'hmfph'-ed and took a seat on the edge of their shared desk, shooting a clear 'whatevvvss' look at her best friend.

"What are we going to do today, Professor?" Mary asked sweetly, changing the subject and ignoring Elise.

"I thought we'd do something fun today," he began. "I introduced it to my younger years a while ago and they seemed to like it."

"Oh?" she pressed, her interest piqued.

"Do tell!" Elise added excitedly.

"Well, I figured I'd let you all come face-to-face with a Boggart."

Both girls turned to the other, eyes wide, and squealed. Loudly. The other students who were just then beginning to trickle into the class stared at them and whispered to one another, but Mary and Elise didn't particularly care. They were generally regarded as odd by the Hogwarts population, anyhow, albeit brilliant.

As they took their seats, Mary couldn't help but wonder what the Boggart would morph into for her. Sure, they'd learned about Boggarts before, in their pre-OWL years, but that was back when the professor was a rather eccentric old woman who certainly wasn't as fun as Professor Lupin.

Lupin introduced the class to that day's activities, but Mary wasn't listening. She was carefully evaluating the things which scared her the most. Let's see, she thought, getting out a piece of paper to brainstorm ideas.

Things Which Scare Me the Most: By Mary Eleanor Fawcett

-Being stupid (after all, for a genius, this is a terrifying prospect)
-Killer Bees (hey, they kill people!)
-Losing the Head Girl position (her father would murder her)
-Drowning (really, who wants to feel their lungs fill up with water?)
-Becoming a teacher (trapped day in and day out with teenagers for 30+ years? What a nightmare!)

Vaguely, she wondered if any of those would be the form her Boggart chose (how does one embody stupidity?) or if she would simply be surprised.

"Now class, if you'll follow me, I'll take you to the Boggart!" Professor Lupin explained and Mary quickly shoved the piece of paper in her bag and followed everyone else to the Teacher's Lounge. Once there, Professor Lupin asked them to form a single file line. Despite their earlier enthusiasm, neither Mary nor Elise wanted to go first...after all, nobody wanted to make a fool of themselves in front of everyone. Well, apparently everyone except Terrence Higgs, whose biggest fear was apparently having teeth like Marcus Flint.

Everyone giggled at that. Even the boys.

Finally, after several people, it was Mary's turn. Cautiously, she walked closer to the Boggart, which had become a strange, swirling black mass before morphing into a creepy-looking sea-horse thing, which Mary could only identify as a Kelpie.

"Riddikulus!" Mary shouted, without having time to think about her apparent worst fear, and pointed her wand straight at the image before her as it slowly approached. Before her eyes, suddenly a man in leather chaps and a bright red cowboy hat was atop the thing, gripping its sleek black mane and shouting "whoa, Nellie!"

With a satisfied smirk, Mary stepped aside for Elise to go and felt a swell of satisfaction from the impressed look from Professor Lupin at her effort, after all, she was his best student-- by far. It was, at that moment (well really, it was when Elise caused her spider-Boggart to lose all its legs), Mary realized what she could do to get to Professor Lupin.

She would be his teaching assistant.


So like I said, this is just something that popped into my head over break. I couldn't possibly feel right updating/going further until I post some more updates for the people who have been waiting for Weather Girl. But I'd like to see if I get any response on this (though there are so many HP fics being uploaded every second, I doubt it).

&&Sara