"Good for you."
"What the hell do you want Zabini?"
"I'm bored." I growl and look up from the pages of my book. Blaise is hanging upside down of his bed, staring at me.
"Go do something then." I swear, Blaise has a shorter attention span than a niffler in a Gringotts vault.
"Like what?" His whine reminds me of Pansy, grating on my ears and making me wince.
"How the hell should I know, Zabini" I say, using his surname, which I usually only reserve for when I'm annoyed with him. I look up at him. Purple turns to Red with alarming speed. "Go bug Theo." He sits up and gives me a patient look. The condescending tone that follows is enough to make me want to throw my book at his face.
"He told me to piss off an hour ago, Malfoy, I told you this." I roll my eyes. The Red lightens. Not quite Purple, but not quite scarlet anymore.
"I wonder why." I look back to my page. Black and White.
"Was that sarcasm?" Blaise asks, pretending to be deeply affronted. "What have I ever done to you?" I pick up a pillow and chuck at his face. To my dismay however, Blaise simply catches the pillow and throws it back, knocking the book out of my hands.
"For starters, you won't shut up and let me read." He pouts.
"But I'm bored!" I pick the novel up off the dungeon floor and try to find where I left off.
"Read a book. Listen to music. Bug the Gryffindors. Spy on Snape. Conjure a sodding elephant for all I care just leave me alone!" Red. Zabini chooses to ignore my list of suggestions.
"Let's play a game." I give a little dance of triumph as I find my page and go back to reading. Purple. My triumphant look quickly turns to one of disgust.
"They were making soap out of Marla's mother's FAT?!" Blaise stops complaining for a moment to stare at me.
"What the fuck are you reading Malfoy?" I ignore him. This Tyler Durden character is really fucked up...
"The things muggles come up with..." Blaise sighs melodramatically.
"You're boring." I ignore this as well. "Levicorpus!"
"ARGH! BLAISE WHAT THE HELL?!" Fight Club falls out of my hands as I'm suddenly hoisted into the air by my ankle. "PUT ME DOWN, YOU BLOODY WANKER!" The fucking prick just smirks at me. Red. It's always Red.
"Nope." He says in a little sing-song voice. "Not until you promise you'll put that bloody book down and entertain me." I send him the best version of a death glare I can possibly manage while hanging upside down.
"Not on your life Zabini." Theo chooses the moment to walk into the room. He closes the door behind him and stares, seeming torn between amusement and the instinct to run away.
"Uh... am I interrupting something?" Blaise, keeping his wand pointed at me, turns to look at him.
"Not really. I'm bored. Draco refuses to stop being boring so I'm making him cooperate." Theo shoots me an apologetic look.
"You should've listened to him mate." I glare at him.
"Piss off, Nott." Blaise turns his attention back to my suspended state.
"Now, you have three seconds to stop being boring or we add a tickling charm." My eyes open wide. They wouldn't dare. They know how ticklish I am...
"Alright, alright! Fine!" He drops me none too gently back onto my sheets. I quickly adjust myself, cross my arms across my chest, pouting. I watch Theo try to sneak out of the room. I point my wand at him.
"Not so fast, Nott." I say irritably. "If I'm stuck with this," I say, nodding my head at a very content Blaise, "You are too." He groans, but sits down. Red contently returns to Purple as I stare over at Blaise.
"Yes, your highness?" I'm pleased to see that he's just as annoyed with Blaise as I am.
"Now," Blaise states, seeming oblivious to our general manner of irritability, "as I was saying." An evil smile stretches his dark features. "Let's play a game." Theo and I groan in unison.
"We're not first year Blaise." I say with a Pansy-ish whine. "I'd much rather read." He raises an eyebrow at me.
"Oh?" He pulls a bottle out of his robe pocket. We stare for a moment before Theo takes the bait and asks.
"What's that?" Blaise just grins, looking extraordinarily pleased with himself. Something about that bottle looks familiar...
"That looks like..." Zabini finishes my sentence for me.
"Veritaserum." I stare.
"You didn't." Blaise looks at Theo with an even larger grin.
"I did." I shake my head.
"Jesus, Blaise. It's a miracle you aren't a bloody Hufflepuff. How thick are you? You could've gotten expelled for that." He looks at me like I'm dense.
"You see, Draco. The difference between a Hufflepuff and me is that I didn't get caught." I roll my eyes. "Now here's what we're gonna do." He dictates. "We're going to play a little game with this." Theo groans.
"Truth or Dare? Really? What are you Blaise, a second year girl?" Blaise glares at him before answering.
"No dares involved, Nott."
"Leave it to Blaise to take the only interesting part of the game out of it." I mumble under my breath. He ignores me.
"No dares involved. The last time we played the house lost a hundred points. We can't risk that." I hate to admit it, but he has a point. "Anyway, we can have a little fun with this anyhow." I sigh, but give in, knowing I really don't have a choice.
We all take a swig of the potion and wait for it to take effect. Blaise looks at me.
"Draco. Why didn't things work with Pansy?"
"She looks like a pug, she whines, she clings, and she's just downright annoying." I'm not sure why he asked that. He already knew that much. Purple turns to Grey.
"What do you get off on, Blaise?" He blushes and mumbles something I can't hear.
"What was that?"
"Uh... Granger and the Weasley girl... room of requirements." I smirk. Grey turns to Yellow. This coming from the bloke who complains about the Gryffindors constantly. Theo looks at me.
"Have you ever cheated. In a relationship, I mean."
"No." I answer automatically. I start sweating. Yellow turns to Black
"Hmm... I thought there was something going on between you and Greengrass." I shake my head.
"What's the weirdest thing you ever dreampt, Theo?" I ask, desperately trying to steer this away from anything sexual or relationship wise.
"Uh... your mother came into my house," He says slowly, "And stripped." I raise my eyebrows. "And turns out she had a penis. That ate my cat." I stare.
"What the fuck are you thinking about before you go to bed, Nott. Merlin!" He just shrugs.
"I took a bit too much sleeping draught, so sue me." Blaise smirks in my direction and I start to get the feeling that there's more to this than just a game. Fuck. What trap have I fallen into?
"Why haven't you even looked at another girl since Pansy." I pick up a pillow and bite into it... No.
"What was that, Draco? We didn't quite catch that." He vanishes the pillow. I glare.
"I'mnotintogirls." I say it quietly. Quickly. Neither Zabini or Nott looks the least bit surprised.
"Been pining after anyone?" I bite my lip and nod. This is not good...
"Is it a Slytherin?" I shake my head.
"Ask someone else a question, for fucks sake." They ignore this. Nott seems to have caught on to what Zabini is trying to do. Kill me. Black.
"No." Oh, Merlin pitch me from the astronomy tower, slit my throat with a butter knife, hang me with my own intestines, just KILL me. Their smirks grow.
"Hufflepuff?" I clench my eyes together.
"no." I whisper it very softly. Oh bloody fucking hell. These sodding wankers are going to damn well be the ruin of me... I curse under my breath with every nasty word I can think of. Dammit Zabini... Red.
"So it's a Gryffindor..." He smirks. Fuuckk....
"No." They both bloody well know that with the effects of the potions they can just ask me and I have to tell...
They're doing this just to torture me. Black, Blue, Red.
"Why are you doing this, Blaise?"
My stomach drops to my feet...
"No." I jam my palms into my eye-sockets. Why didn't I see this coming. It's all so clear now... Blaise didn't give a flying fuck about losing house points. He just wanted to be sure I couldn't wiggle out of the "truth" option... Red.
"So it's POTTER!" I say nothing. He didn't form it as a question...
"Is it Potter, Draco?" Nott's incredulous voice proves to be the death of me.
"yes." I whisper as quietly as I possibly can. They both burst into laughter.
I groan, fall back on my bed, and pull the covers over my head. Why did I fall for this? I curse Potter. He's the root cause of it all. Blaise and Theo are gossiping to themselves. None of it makes any sense until...
"Wait 'till we tell Potter, Draco." I sit up and grab my wand, pointing it at the both of them.
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"
"Expelliarmus." Blaise states calmly, and my wand flies out of my hand and into his. He sees the furious expression on my face, and I grow angrier still when he lowers his voice to an unnaturally calm tone and continues. "Draco, listen to me." He's talking to me as though I were a bomb about to explode at any moment. "We're doing this for your own good." Red. Red. Red.
"YOU BLOODY PLANNED THIS! YOU KNEW I LIKED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FUCKING WANKER!" He still doesn't seem fazed.
"No, actually, I didn't. I knew you liked someone though and I had to find out. I'm sorry, Draco, but you'll thank me for this later."
"HOW THE HELL IS GOING TO POTTER AND GIVING HIM MORE REASON TO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT ACTUALLY GOING TO HELP ME?" Red turns to Blue. My voice breaks off, and tears sting my eyes in desperation. Blaise softens his expression even more, if possible.
"Because, Draco, I know what you get like when you pine after someone. You don't think about anything else. This will go one of two ways. He'll turn you down, and you can pass it off as some trick to "out him" or something, or he won't. But you can stop dwelling on it." I stare, no longer angry, but desperate.
"That's not up for you to decide." My stomach actually feels sick. "He's not going to believe it as a joke. He's just going to make fun of me, Blaise. Please." God dammit, I'm actually crying now. Blue.
"Dray, don't cry. Please." He looks uncomfortable. He's never done well with tears. It's always Theo I go crying to. Speaking of Theo, he's staring at me piteously, as though he's having second thoughts on doing this. I say nothing and keep crying at this point. Let this show how desperate I am. If it will stop them... I'm drowning in Blue.
"Draco," Blaise says with a sigh. "Just relax. Read your book. I didn't know it was Potter you liked when I asked." He says slowly. "But I hoped it was." Theo shoots me an apologetic look and they take my wand, leave the room and lock the door from the outside.
The second they do, I slam my foot into the bed.
"FUCK!" Why the hell didn't I grab Blaise and beat the living daylights out of him while I had the chance? Because they both had wands and would have cursed the life out of you. A voice speaks in the back of my mind. Red
I start pacing the room, my hands fisted in my hair, wanting to just pull it out. I've stopped crying but I don't bother to wipe the linger tears from my pale cheeks.
"But I hoped it was." I mock. What the hell is that supposed to mean? "DAMMIT!" I go into the bathroom and stare at the mirror. Red.
"Breathe, Draco." I whisper. "Just relax. It's going to be okay." But as I say so I watch my lower lip tremble and tears fill my eyes again. Blue. Because it's not going to be okay. Maybe Blaise doesn't realise it, but telling Potter may as well just be telling the whole school.
My social life is ruined. My reputation is ruined. And Harry...
Anger overwhelms me and my fist collides with the mirror. Silver shards collide with the floor with a deafening shatter.
"DAMMIT BLAISE!" I know I'm having somewhat of a tantrum but I don't care. "You're supposed to be my friend!" I don't yell as loud this time because I'm crying again and I'm now nursing my shaking and bleeding hand with toilet paper. Red becomes Blue.
I stay there, kneeling down by the bathroom floor for a few moments, waiting for the nausea to die down. Fuck. Why do I feel sick? I try to avoid looking at the blood and just take deep, calming breaths.
"There's nothing you can do now, Draco. Stop working yourself up." I speak quietly to myself, trying to calm down. I take another deep breath. "Look at the mess you've made. Pull yourself together." I can't stand it when I get like this. Hitting things. Yelling. Sometimes this...uncontrallable fury sweeps through me and... it scares me. A lot. Because I can't stop it. I cannot stop the Red.
"Stop crying." I whisper. "Just stop crying. Look how you're acting. What father think." This doesn't do much to help. "Don't let yourself fall apart, Draco. Relax. Why are you breaking things?" I stand up, slowly, and step out of the room, not wanting to look at the shattered pieces on the floor.
I go over to my bed and pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes. Another bout of fury floods through me and I clench my fists and jam my teeth together.
"You have no reason to be this mad, Draco." I tell myself, feeling unreasonably murderous. "Please. Stop this." Why the hell can't I control this? I breathe slowly, slower, slower, until some of the fury has disappeared.
"Stop this" I whisper. "Just. Stop." I lie down and cover my eyes with my arm. Maybe if I can fall asleep, I'll wake up and it will all be gone. Blue.
Or maybe I won't wake up. Blue.
No. Stop. What's wrong with me, I can't think like that.
I pick it up off the floor and try to concentrate on the letters that seem to be dancing across the page. Grey. It's not for long though. Because someone starts knocking at the door...
"Malfoy, open up." The nausea returns, this time with none of the anger or fury, but with fear.
"Piss off Potter." I hear Potter mutter some sort of incantation and the door charms open. I try to ignore him and stare at the black and white pages of the book.
Black and white.
Black and white.
I see Blue sometimes. And Red. And Purple and Yellow. I wish my life was as simple as these pages. Black and White.
Who the hell needs all these emotions anyway?
Why the fuck am Blue one moment and suddenly I'm Yellow, but then it's so easy for me to see Red. Or why does the Red cause the Blue?
Why can't it all be Black and White?
Potter moves to my bed and sits beside me. He stares at me, reading me for a moment.
"Have you been crying Malfoy?" I glare at him. "What happened to your hand?" if this is his attempt at small talk, he fails, miserably.
"Piss off Potter." I say again, softly. Blue. Deep Blue. I'm drowning in it.
"Blaise came and talked to me..." He starts quietly. Red. A Rush of Red.
"Just because Blaise is trying to make me out as a bloody pillow-biter doesn't mean I am one!" I snap.
Potter just stares. Stares. Stares.
His stare is Purple. Calm.
Mine is a brilliant Red.
But Potter keeps staring.
And the Red dissolves to Blue again.
But it doesn't seem like he's going to tease. So I stare into his stare. Blue turns to Purple and Purple turns to Yellow as he leans forward and kisses me gently.
"Blaise heard me talking to Hermione." He says quietly as I stare in Yellow gaze. "He knew I liked you, Draco." I smile softly and say nothing. I just want another kiss...
Yellow is a colour I can deal with.
Okay, so, this may have confused some of you. I originally started writing this as humour. Obviously, I changed my mind. For those of you who didn't pick up the symbolism with the colours, they are meant to represent the emotions of someone suffering from bipolar disorder. I pulled this from my personally experiences with the disorder, so please, no flames. I will take it personally. I KNOW this is not my best work. Written at one o' clock in the morning for no known reason. So I'm sorry that it's not great.
However, please REVIEW.