Ron and the Coyote

Chapter One:
New York

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry, Ron ::sadly::, Hermione, or anyone related to Harry Potter or Coyote Ugly. But Lindz is my character, and please don't steal her without permission! Thanx for reading! Please Review! Lots o Love
to my beta-reader: Benji's niece!
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"So, please tell me again why are we here?" said a tall, red haired boy.

"For the last time, Ron, I don't know. We just kind of. appeared here," his friend answered.

"I told you not to let Fred and George cast any new spells on us! But no!!! Don't listen to the witch who actually knows where she is!" hollered a girl who looked no older than 22.

"Okay then Hermione, where are we?" Ron asked.

The girl looked around. They somehow were in a busy street. Next to them was a building that had an amazingly long line of people waiting to enter it. The sign above the door read, in big neon lights, Coyote Ugly. "Well, this isn't London."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious! Even Ron could've figured that out!" the other boy said while Ron proudly nodded his head.

"Quiet, Harry!" Hermione said, lightly hitting him on the arm. She looked around some more, then finally noticing something that helped her.

"Bloody hell, Ron! I'm going to kill Fred and George!!"

"Why? Where are we?" Ron responded, slightly confused.

Hermione sighed and pointed at a newspaper stand. "We're in New York City."

Ron's eyes lit up. "That's like in America, right?"

"Yes, Ron, we're in America," Hermione laughed. "And I'm guessing that's that bar Seamus was raving about when he came back from his holiday last year."

"Wicked!!" Ron hollered. "Let's go!"

"Hold on, Ron," Hermione said, grabbing Ron's wrist as he headed towards the door. "It's not as easy as it looks to get in."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"First of all, you need some sort of ID, and you don't have one," Hermione pointed out, smiling because she had out smarted Ron once again.

"Well, we have our Wizarding licenses now. Can't we just point our wands and say - poof?" Ron joked.

"You know, you can completely tell you slept through all of your classes," Harry laughed.

"I didn't sleep through all of them!" Ron protested. "I was always wide awake at lunch!"

While Harry and Ron talked, Hermione got to work. She went deep inside her head to try and think of any spell that could get them some IDs. Hum. we could try Incanteum Desgusearim (the Disguise Charm), but it would be too risky for something this simple. Hermione looked at the guard. He was a very big guy. Well, I guess we can forget about going invisible and sneaking in.

"Have you thought of anything yet, Hermione?" Harry asked.

She over looked her best friends Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. "Well, I can't think of a real spell exactly that can get us IDs. But, I can try another version of one."

"What do you mean by that? Make one up? Ron asked, slowly stepping behind Harry, knowing Hermione would use him as her guinea pig.

Hermione nodded to Harry, who quickly grabbed Ron and held him still while Hermione pointed her wand carefully at Ron (not that she didn't want to hurt him. it was just that she didn't want any Muggles to see), and said, "Expressious ID!"

Ron closed his eyes tight, and prayed for no pain to come upon him. When he opened his eyes a minute or so later, he noticed nothing had hurt him, and on the ground in front of him was a small card with a picture of him, his birthday, things like that. "Well, I guess it worked."

Hermione laughed. "And you didn't get hurt this time!"

About three minutes later, all three of them had IDs. But more problems came to mind.

"Hey, Hermione, we have no Muggle money," Harry pointed out.

"Not to mention our clothes are hideous and evil," Ron said, looking at his sweater with the letter "R" on it with disgust.

"What? Do you think I'd let us go in there broke?" Hermione smiled as she pointed to a small spot on the ground and said "Moneyrous Purpke Muggle American!"

Suddenly, $600 American Muggle dollars appeared.

Ron stared at the money and then at Hermione, who was beaming. He pointed at the money and said, "Can you do that with Wizard money?"

Hermione laughed. "Now, Ronald, that would be what we call 'illegal'."

"So?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head, and Harry just laughed. "Can we please just get real clothes?" Harry questioned. "I want to get in that bar."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Men have no patience."

"Yep. That's right. Especially this one. Now I want to go!" Ron hollered.

"Whatever, just. go over there and point your wand at yourself and say Peskipikis Pesternomis," Hermione said as she walked into a little corner. Harry and Ron did as they were told.

Harry came out wearing a pair of faded jeans, a red shirt with some American logo on it, and a jean jacket. He simply looked hott.

Ron came out in jeans, and a shirt that was so awesome on him it couldn't be described. He had a leather jacket on to top it all off. He just plain sizzled.

Hermione came back to her friends looking nothing like the Hermione Granger they knew. She wore a pair of low-rise jeans that were faded in the front and glittery. She had on a shirt that went just over her belly button and was silky blue. Her hair even changed, not much, but it did. It seemed to be hanging down in a different way. It could've been the fact she looked just plain amazing, but the boys didn't know.

She took in a deep breath with a smile, obviously satisfied with her looks. "So, you guys ready to go in?"

"Yeah," Ron replied. Harry didn't answer; he just nodded his head, as he was still staring at Hermione.

"The line looks like we'll be waiting here all night," Hermione said with a sigh.

"Oh come on, Hermione! You can make counterfeit money, but you can't get us to cut in line?" Ron asked, a little disappointed now.

"Don't worry. I'll just use the memory charm on someone towards the front and make them think they were holding our place in line," Hermione reassured them. She picked some guy that looked easy enough, and he was basically right at the door. She pointed her wand at him from a distance and said, "Obliviate!" The man looked stunned, then looked at Hermione and waved. Hermione smiled, and nodded for Harry and Ron to follow her. "Am I good or what?"

"Hey Hermione. Just in time, you're almost up," the man smiled.

"Thanks Ryan," she smiled, thinking of that name from no where.

They waited in line for about ten minutes when they finally got to the big guard.

"Hello folks. My name is Lou, and I need to see some ID before I let you in."

The three nodded and showed their "IDs" to Lou. Lou smiled and opened the door for them. "Have fun."

The trio walked in and was in awe. It looked amazing. Not one person looked bored or unhappy. There were three girls dancing on the bar to some song. Two other girls were passing out drinks behind the bar. One with short blonde hair picked up a speaker phone and started to yell in it.

"For the last time, everybody! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone in the bar fell silent and listened to what she had to say.

"I'd like you all to meet my new girl! Her name is Lindz," everyone cheered, then let the blonde say, "and she's a regular here at the bar. Lindz is a former cheerleader, and played in a band before she came here. But sadly, this former Catholic school girl is single!" The crowd again went wild. "Would anyone like to by this Angelic Devil a drink?"

Ron looked around excitedly. "I'll see you two later!" He quickly took his share of money from Hermione and headed for the bar.

"Good luck, Ron!" Harry called as Ron dashed away.

Ron walked up to the bar as he counted his money to see how much he grabbed. He saw Lindz passing out drinks, and completely fell for her. She was about to serve some man, so Ron took a seat next to him.

"What can I get you sir?" Lindz asked the guy.

"I'm new here, so I don't know what you have," he replied.

"Well, we have Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose," she said instantly.

The guy nodded. "Nothing. Well, I guess I'll have a Scotch and water."

Lindz dropped the cloth she was holding and stared at the guy with an offended look. "Water?" She said that word as if disgusted. "You want. water?" She turned around and grabbed the speakerphone. 'HEY! EVERYBODY! DO WE SERVE WATER IN THIS BAR?!?!" she roared.

Ron turned around to see how everyone would react. He was stunned when he saw everyone chanting, "Hell no, H20! Hell no, H20!" He smiled and looked back at Lindz. The second Ron turned, Lindz sprayed the guy with a hose, which resulted in him and everyone around him (including Ron) to get very wet. Lindz then laughed and handed the poor wet guy a towel. "Hey, I'll buy you a shot for that. It's a little tradition we have here." The guy nodded, finding the situation funny. Lindz gave the man a drink then turned her attention to Ron.

"So, what can I do for ya?" she asked smiling.

"Well, guess I can't order water."

"Not unless you want to be wetter than you already are," Lindz replied. "So, what'll it be?"

"Well, what do you suggest? I'm new here as well."

"Well, we have fun with newbies," Lindz said, grabbing a shot glass. "How about a shot of Tequila?"

Ron nodded. "Would you like one, too?"

"Sure," Lindz said, grabbing another glass. She filled the glasses, then held her glass up to Ron's and tapped it. "Cheers." She shot the drink down like a pro, but it took Ron some time.

"Oh yeah, you're definitely a newbie," Lindz. "But don't worry. Stick with me and you'll learn fast."

Ron put down his glass and looked at Lindz with a sour face. "How?"

Lindz looked into his eyes for a moment then grinned. "I'll can tell just by looking at you that you've spent half to all of your life as a sidekick or just plain overlooked. Do you want to be noticed?"

Ron stared back at her. "Bloody hell, yes."

Lindz laughed and grabbed Ron by his shirt collar. "You asked for it."

A/N: Okay, I know it almost smacks you and tells you that Ron and Lindz hook up, but you gotta remember Lil's rules before you jump to ideas. Trust me, the story get better! I hope to have the next chapter up as soon as I get TWO reviews! That's all I ask! Two! Thanx! And this story is open to ideas for help! Much love to Benji's niece! Lots o Love,
~Lindz