A/N Dont own Cirque Du Freak, or Darren Shan. Just playing with them.

Kurda Smahlt. The only blonde, unscarred, pacifist, educated, and, if he does say so himself, sexy vampire in the whole mountain. However, he wasn't concentrating on his attractiveness at this point. He was focusing on the educated part. It had come to his attention that none of the vampires here were educated, at all. Well, other than Darren. Larten Crepsley could barely right his own name, and Gavner Purl couldn't count to five! He needed to fix this.

"Class will now come to order!" Kurda yelled, slamming his book down on the desk. Everyone in the room burst out laughing at his serious tone. "Silence!" He roared, and they finally shut up.

"Today we will start in the alphabet, class. Aren't you excited?" He asked like an overeager kindergarten teacher. They all groaned in unison. His class consisted of Larten Crepsley, Gavner Purl, Arra Sails, Seba Nile, Paris Skyle, Mika Ver Leth, Arrow, and Darren Shan. None of them were happy to be here, and Darren looked just plain scared.

"Yeah blondie, we're thrilled. Remind me why I'm here again?" Arrow grumbled.

"Because Arrow, you need to learn these things. There are very important in life!" Kurda looked shocked at the bald prince.

"Can we move along with the lesson mister Smahlt?" Seba shouted form the back of the room. Kurda nodded and then started his program.

"The alphabet. It starts with the letter A, which sounds just like you say it, and looks like this." He drew a huge capital A on the board. "Unless it's not a capital, then it sounds like a, and looks like this." He drew a litle A on the board.

His back was turned as he drew this, and he was halfway through drawing the B's when a burst of laughter turned him around. He turned to see all the vampires, huddled at one of the tables, playing poker.

"Read 'em and weep boys!" Paris yelled, showing a royal flush, and with a mad look from Arra added, "And Arra!" Larten laughed at Mika's stunned, and annoyed expression. None of them had noticed Kurda.

With lightning speed he flitted over to the table and snatched the cards from everyone. "Hey!"

"I will not tolerate any disruptions in this class. The next one who disturbs out learning will be sentenced to detention." Kurda threatened, once again trying to sound serious. This time no one laughed. They went back to the board.

They got all the way to M before Kurda realized that they weren't going to even try to learn anything unless they did something fun. Him looking at the bored faces of the vampires, and the sleeping form of Arrow, was proof. "Alright class, that's enough of that. Let's do art class."