I know some of you might not bother to read this disclaimer part (I don't), so just skip this & get on with the story :D

disclaimer: DGM belongs to Kat Shino.

contains: Laven, Kanda's colourful vocabulary and mad squirrels. (Not really.)

other crap not worth mentioning: Reviews are appreciated, but not necessary. It'd be mind-blowing awesomness if you just read. :D

Chapter 1ne: The first task: Survive Kanda's Rage

The morning rays filtered through the window as a redhead opened his single eye. Yawning, Lavi stretched as he climbed out of bed. He ran his finger through his unruly red hair, grinning as he remembered what today was.

It was Valentine's Day. Lavi's grin widened at the thought.

Humming, he threw on his pants and a shirt and fastened on his boots. Now, time to go hunting for a certain white-haired exorcist.

Allen Walker was on his way to the cafeteria for breakfast. (Or rather, to empty it of all it's edible contents.) He grinned sneakily as he caught sight of a flash of red turning round a corner. Allen tiptoed up to Lavi, making sure to keep a safe distance. Suddenly, he pounced on the unsuspecting redhead, throwing his arms around said person's neck.

"I love you!" he sang, nuzzling Lavi's cheek.

Surprised by the "attack", Lavi teetered backwards, before losing his balance and falling, bringing Allen down with him.

"Damn it, Allen!" Lavi breathed. "I wanted to do that first!" Allen giggled.

"Anyway, you're not the type who jumps on people. I am." Lavi noted. "I love you too, by the way."

"I did it just for today. And could you get off me now, Lavi? You're crushing me." Allen hinted meekly.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps behind them, followed by a "Get your damn asses off the floor, idiots. I'll freakin' step on you." Kanda instead stepped over them, adding a 'Che' to his previous sentence.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Yuu!" Lavi called out, dragging himself off Allen reluctantly.

"Sooo…" Lavi pursed his lips, deep in thought. "What'cha want to do today? To celebrate." His expression changed into one of mischief and want. Lavi squeezed Allen's hand affectionately as they walked along the corridor to the cafeteria for breakfast.

Before Allen could answer, a door opened very suddenly, and Lenalee stumbled out of her room. Large, pink heart-shaped balloons followed after her. Allen and Lavi stood there in shock.

"Either you have a secret admirer, or it's Komui." Lavi said, though he was fairly certain as to who had done it.

"Komui." Both Allen and Lenalee said at the same time. Lenalee sighed, kicking the balloons back into her room and slammed the door shut. She forced a smile, before activating her Innocence.

"I'll be off to take care of some #matters. Happy Valentine's Day, you two!" she waved and went off in the direction of the Science lab. Allen shivered. "Poor Komui." Lavi just nodded.

"About your question earlier on," Allen continued their earlier conversation as they resumed their walk to the cafeteria. "Let's play a game." Allen suggested, grinning mischievously.

"What kind of game?" Lavi asked, eyes darting down to Allen's face.

"The kind of game in which if you win, you get to have the other person do whatever you want them to do for the rest of the day." Allen explained. "Anything?" Lavi asked, a playful smirk settling itself on his lips. "Anything." Allen replied, returning the smirk.

"Three tasks. If you complete two of the three tasks, you win."

As the couple entered the cafeteria, their hands drifted apart as Lavi went to get a table while Allen queued up to order breakfast.

Lavi settled himself next to Krory, who was sitting opposite Miranda. "Happy Valentine's Day!" Lavi chirped. Miranda blushed, managing a "H-happy Valentine's D-day to y-you too, Lavi." Krory said the same thing, except that he was a bit more coherent.

Lavi watched with amusement as Allen came over with his trolley of food, a plan already forming itself in his devious mind.

"Na, Allen." Lavi called out to his lover behind the stacks and stacks of food. "Mmphf?" came the muffled reply. "Can I choose the first task?" "Mmphf." Lavi took that as a yes as he reached out for a sandwich from the massive pile.

"Simple, really, my dear Moyashi." Lavi began, before he was interrupted with a "Name'th Allempfh!" Lavi cleared his throat before continuing. "Go to an empty table and stand up on it, before yelling 'Yuu Kanda wears neither boxers nor briefs!'"

A clatter was heard behind the piles of food. Allen pushed away the plates and stared at Lavi, his eyes wide and glassy. "He really doesn't wear-" His words were cut off as he started guffawing uncontrollably, holding his sides as tears spilled down. Krory and Miranda stared at him questioningly. They hadn't heard what Lavi had said and were wondering what #exactly was so funny.

Suddenly, the laughter stopped and Allen looked Lavi in the eye once more, his lashes moist with tears. "He'll definitely kill me. He won't let me live."

Lavi nodded. "Exactly. So, you're supposed to avoid getting injured. I wouldn't want my dear Moyashi-chan to get hurt, would I?"

"So that means if he manages to land an attack on me… I lose this round?" Lavi nodded again, eager for Allen to get started. Allen stuffed himself with the remainder of his food before standing up. He nodded at Lavi, before striding over to an empty table. To the shock and surprise of the finders eating nearby, Allen climbed up onto the tabletop.

All eyes were on Allen. The finders, some science staff, Miranda, Krory, Lenalee-who had just entered the cafeteria-, Lavi-who was trying extremely hard to control his laughter-and worse of all, Kanda.

Allen sucked in a deep breath, before yelling out the cursed words. "YUU. KANDA. WEARS. NEITHER. BOXERS. NOR. BRIEFS!"

There was a shocked silence. And then an intake of breath. Before Allen found something sharp and pointy resting near his throat.

"Say that again, you bloody Moyashi?" Kanda challenged, his voice soft and dangerous, an evil aura radiating off him. Allen gulped inwardly, before dashing off like a mad squirrel. Kanda followed close behind him, screaming profanities. The cafeteria was silent for half a second, before everything resumed.

"Lavi…" Lenalee shook her head disapprovingly. "Why do I feel that you were the cause of all this?" Lavi just grinned happily, before bouncing off to check on Allen.

A/N: Hmm. :D