A/N: It's been a couple of months and I don't feel like I'm back. I just feel like I'm getting by. This chapter is my worst and I know that, but it's all I've got. I'm so sorry for this, but I'm so off that it's laughable. So please tell me what you think and give me honesty about this chapter. It's short and it disappoints me, but I wanted to get it out there.
Again, I apologize and here's Chapter 21.
After being told that I wasn't allowed at my home due to a crime scene investigation, I figured that I no longer wanted to stay in a place where I was nearly shot to death, or where my girlfriend got kidnapped. It just would even feel right to go back there after all that's happened.
I talked to the apartment manager and told them that I'm moving out and to take everything you find and throw it out. I just…can't even step foot in that house without wanting to break something. I was given two weeks off to rest my leg and to get everything together.
I decided to get moved into the apartment complex not so far from the place, I once considered living at. Actually, where Leah wanted to stay at first.
I feel fucking useless!
My mind has been on Leah non-stop during my recovery. Working really hard, so I can get back on my feet to find Leah and possibly kill Embry. I won't even hesitate to watch his ass rot in hell. After everything that he has done to…I couldn't even go on to say it.
It was my fault as well, but my talking about it isn't going to get my anywhere at all. I've told myself time and time again and it's not helping. Once I find Leah, I'm setting all of this straight once and for all. Fucking stalling won't help. I need to jump pass this shit and move on.
Days have passed, since Jacob has getting out the hospital and Nessie was now at work trying to keep her mind on her work and not the messages that Embry has given her.
Why do you choose to ignore me? Is Jacob dead or not?
Don't make me come over there and finish what I've started.
You completely blindsided me, Renesmee. I'll find you or sum1 else will.
Her hands clenched to the phone and her heart raced in fear. She was so stupid to agree with Embry and try to break up Jacob and Leah, but she couldn't help but want him as her own. It always like that she either ends up with an asshole or with no one at all.
It was very selfish of her, but her heart was saying fuck it all and go for it. Even though all they've done is kiss, she couldn't help, but think that more would be good to have.
She shook her head knowing damn well that it's never going to happen. Never, no matter how much she wants him he'll never want her. Keeping her distance from him is the best solution at this point. He needs to keep his mind on Leah and find her and bring her home safe.
It was obvious that Nessie was biting her tongue and after all that Embry told her about his past with Leah she couldn't help, but think that it's true…Still it's what her selfish side wants, but the other that truly cares for Jacob doesn't believe a word that comes out of Embry's mouth. It can't be true that Leah and Embry slept together at the beginning of her relationship with Jacob?
If this is true, then what did Leah have to be angry for if what she did was worse?
Closing her eyes briefly to clear her mind, she got back to work and thrown out all of the mess that's been in her head. She was going to let Jacob be at all costs, breaking up a relationship is not the way to get a man. She's learned that the hard way and it's not even worth it. As she's experienced.
Each passing day and Jacob was feeling stronger than ever. He kept his leg in motion, but not too much to strain it. He was dedicated to get better and to find Leah and bring her back safe and sound. He was now holding onto to rails at the end of the hall and doing reps on his leg.
Happy to find out that, he no longer grunts when he moves his leg. Suddenly, he looked over to where the scar settled and thought of Nessie. What he doesn't know is that he misses her. It's been weird ever since he woke up and to find her even more distant from him.
His feelings for her have skyrocketed ever since she did everything in her power to save him. She did save him and wanted to properly thank her, but she's been avoiding him at all costs.
Never in his mind, did he think it would be possible to even look at someone else, but damn he did and it's all kinds of wrong to him. Not even in the slightest can he control his feeling for her.
If he's going to want a fresh start, he needs to talk to her and get everything out in the open. No more holding shit in and caring around all this extra baggage. He's tired of stressing over the little things that will eventually become bigger.
He walked slowly away from the rails and makes it to his bedroom and dialed Nessie's number. He pressed the phone to his ear, hoping that she'll answer this time. There was so much that he wanted to say to her, but he knew where to start.
After about four rings she answered, but she seemed a bit distant even if it was over the phone. He wasn't even sure if it was possible to hear her annoyance.
"Jacob…You're feeling ok?" She asked with hesitance.
"Uh…yeah. I'm actually getting much better. I'm working on keeping the leg in motion as much as possible." He didn't want any small talk, so he headed straight to it."I haven't heard from you in a while. It feels like you've been avoiding me." Nessie closed her eyes and let out a sigh over the phone.
"Jake, I'm trying to do what's best for you and me. Distance is what's good for us and no matter what's feels good, it's bad."
"I've had time to think about this Nessie and if you're willing to try so hard to stay away from me then you're doing no good."
"Jake, I don't understand your mixed signals and quite frankly, it's making me lose my mind, so it will do us both some good to stay clear of one another. At least, until…you know what you really want or see Leah again." She tried to whisper it, but I heard it anyway.
Maybe she's right…Am I wanting her around as a way of not having Leah or am I really starting to have these real feelings and I'm ready to see what's really there.
I might be an ass for trying to see what Nessie and I have while Leah's missing and going through…god knows what and I'm here safe and with a girl that I'm not even supposed to be even around.
"Just please let me see you. It's been a while and I know what it sounds like, but Nessie, it's about you and only you. Trust me on that." I begged.
There's no way I could spill over the phone. I had to see her, touch her, and just let her know that she's not a replacement.
"Alright, I'll see you. I'll be there in fifteen." She sighed and stayed on the line for a second, before she hung up.
I put the phone away and I just sat there with my head on my hands and did what I've been doing for the past weeks. Think.
Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door and quickly became suspicious. I knew it could be Nessie, but she said fifteen minutes and I just got off the phone. With nothing but my lost pride, I headed straight for the door.
I checked the peek hole and found the one person that I wasn't expecting.
"Leah…h-how did you?" I quickly pulled her in for a hug and held her tight to me. The feel of her body and even her smell is still Leah. She's here and she made it out. I ignored the throbbing pain in my leg and just held her.
"God...Leah, what happened?"