Author Note

Okay, well I've had this idea for quite some time but I never actually got around to writing it due to writer's block and a whole lot of other anti-writing problems. It's smut, if you hadn't already come to that conclusion yourself, and it's the first time I have ever written smut and actually completed it. So I'm not too sure whether it's okay or not.

Dedications: Who else would this be dedicated to?! My partner in crime, Kali (CemeteriesOfLondon) of course. Without her I most likely wouldn't have even written this, let alone come anywhere near posting it. Things have improved a lot since the awkward 'I actually read smut!' conversation haha. Thanks for encouraging/threatening me to finish writing this, much appreciated. Oh, and the title is for Kali too as she loves the word Debauchery, and who wouldn't?!

Rating: Take it seriously.

Disclaimer: It wasn't under the tree like I'd hoped. You don't know me at all, Santa. Maybe reading and writing smut puts me on the 'naughty' list. Ehehh.

The first chapter is the build up and generally leading up to the deed, whereas chapter two is the lemons. Juicy, juicy lemons.

Okay, enjoy. : )


It was a lazy Friday in the office as Tony, Ziva and McGee struggled through their seemingly endless piles of paperwork. It was abnormally quiet in the bullpen as everybody went about their routine duties without a single comment; quiet to the point of aggravation.

Following a few more taciturn moments, Ziva drew her bleary-eyed gaze away from her computer screen. She had to rub her eyes and blink a couple of times before her vision could return to normal; it was becoming increasingly frustrating. They had been cooped up in the office, sitting at their desks for three consecutive days, and as horrible as the thought may be, Ziva wanted something horrible to happen so they could at least get out of the office. She just wanted to kick some ass.

She felt that she had earned her well-deserved lunch break so she stood. Stretching comfortably, she let a blissful smile creep on to her lips.

"I am going for lunch, anyone want anything?" Ziva asked them both as she grabbed her bag from behind her desk.

When they both looked up at her with stupefied expressions plastered on their faces, she just shook her head and walked toward the elevator, disappearing through the sterling doors in a flurry of undulating brown curls.

Tony leant back in his chair and let a groan of vexation rip through his throat. Both the chair and his back cracked as he leant further back.

"Something please, please happen," he groaned into the palms of his hands as he sat up straight once again.

It was at that precise moment that Gibbs came breezing in.

Tony's face brightened somewhat as he sat on the edge of his chair, "We got something boss?"

Gibbs eyes slowly rose to meet his senior field agents, his gaze piercing. "Yeah, we do," he said sincerely before inclining his head toward Tony's stack of paperwork, "It's right there. Get to it."

Tony knew better than to say what he thought to Gibbs, so he dragged his eyes back to his screen and began to put the final touches on his current report.

Gibbs left again without another word as Tony printed off his report. Reaching in to his desk, he pulled out his stapler only to discover that he'd run out of staples.

"Probie!" he exclaimed, his voice domineering, "I need your staples."

McGee slowly lifted his head and raised his eyebrows, "Tony you used the last of my staples on your last report." Inclining his head toward his stapler that lay beside him on the desk, he allowed a brief, mocking smile to grace his lips.

Tony glared at him, narrowing his eyes as he muttered something unintelligible beneath his breath.

Wordlessly he stood up, paced across to Ziva's desk and collapsed in her chair. He sat back for a moment, looking around the bullpen as he soaked up the feeling of examining the room from a different angle.

He opened her desk and started rifling through her drawers.

"Tony," McGee sighed, pursing his lips, "What are you doing?"

Tony stopped what he was doing and looked up at McGee with a condescending expression, "You're getting a little rusty on your investigation skills there, McTim, what does it look like I'm doing?"

McGee mirrored his earlier mocking smile and stated with an air of smugness, "It looks to me like you're signing your death wish."

"Ha ha, very funny," Tony said with an undeviating tone, before continuing his scrutiny of her desk. "If I were a stapler, where would I be?" he questioned the air around himself.

Tony opened her second drawer as McGee rolled his eyes and continue on with his work.

"Hello, what do we have here?" Tony grinned, picking up a book that depicted a couple pressed against each other in an intimate embrace on the front cover.

McGee's eyes darted upward and his mouth dropped open, "No Tony," He shook his head, "Going through her desk is one thing, but-"

But Tony wasn't paying any attention to him as he began to flick through the pages. If the cracked spine and yellowing pages were any indication, it had been a much loved and over-read book. Tony paused, smirk still in place, at a rather fragile page; the corner of which had been dog-eared multiple times.

"'Oh David, I can't stand to be around you any longer!' Sophie yelled across the room," Tony read aloud from the book in an attempted woman's voice before adopting a gruffer tone, "'Oh Sophie, that's a shame because all I can think about is how much I love you and want to take you to bed, in my arms'," Tony's grin widened even further, "'Oh David, I had no idea,' Her anger quickly dissipated and turned into desire, ' I want you to take me to bed, in your arms, take me, take me now!' Corny or what?" Tony commented. "David stepped toward Sophie with purpose, his gaze burning with white hot desire. The moment their bodies met, they felt as though their worlds had met too, like the last jigsaw piece had been placed in the puzzle; they were finally complete. Sophie automatically reached down to undo his pants, letting both them and his underwear fall to his ankles in a pool of fabric. She peered down at his hardened member, it was so long, and it just seemed to go on forever; an endless expanse of skin," Tony's eyebrows were rising higher and higher with each passing word.

McGee had blanched and looked as though he was going to be sick, "Tony, put that back. Please stop reading it."

"What's wrong, McVirgin?" Tony laughed, "Don't worry, its normal human behaviour. You'll see one day," he mocked.

"No," McGee deadpanned, "I just... it's Ziva's, and we're at work. It's just really not the right place... not that I think... there's a right place for... I don't read-"

"Quit while you're... not ahead, McGoo," Tony sighed, thumbing the pages of the book with a whimsical expression on his face as he thought of all the possible things he could say to Ziva about this particular book.

"He peppered kisses along her collarbone, revelling in the taste of heaven that seemed to seep through her skin and burn his tongue. He trailed his lips back to hers, before slipping his tongue inside her mouth where they began to battle for dominance. It was at that moment that the temperature seemed to rapidly flare, their bodies burned as they rubbed against each other, both savouring the delicious friction that they both oh so desired. Sweat dripped down their backs and soaked the sheets of the bed they had fallen on to as David rubbed his hardened length against Sophie's heated core," Tony laughed at McGee's tormented expression.

Just after Tony had read about David asking Sophie whether she wanted to get off in a husky tone, he heard the familiar ding of the elevator and his eyes darted over his shoulder to see Ziva strolling back in to the bullpen, her lunch in hand. He cursed and shoved the book inside his jacket, managing to slip it into the hidden pocket.

He launched himself out of her chair just as she rounded the corner.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously and stopped walking, "Tony what were you doing at my desk?"

Tony chuckled uneasily, slipping back into his chair, "I was looking for staples but nobody seems to have any," he threw his arms up in exasperation.

Ziva had made her way around her desk and was now sitting, watching him with an arched brow. She sighed and picked up a box of staples that sat right beside her monitor and threw it at him. "I do not see how hard it is to walk the short distance to the supply room, the rest of us do it."

Tony beamed at her as he leant back in his chair, subconsciously stroking her book through the material of his jacket; he shrugged, too proud of his findings to form a good comeback.

Ziva squinted at him one last time before beginning to unwrap her lunch, which appeared to be a sandwich of some description. "The queue was so long," she sighed.

Tony grinned, "Really?" his lip quirked, not passing on an opportunity to mess with his favourite ninja, "Would you say that it seemed to go on forever? An endless expanse of..." his eyes knitted together in thought, "...queue?"

Ziva stared at him with her mouth open slightly, surprised by his unexpected taunting, "No..." she raised an eyebrow, "It was just... longer than usual."

"Mhm," Tony nodded, laughing at her expression as she silently tried to figure out what he was up to.

Ziva promptly dismissed his comment with an eye roll and continued to peel the plastic wrap from her lunch with deft fingers. It wasn't until she had successfully extracted her lunch from the plastic, did she notice Tony watching her from the opposite side of the room. His grin was still in place as he observed her.

"What?" Ziva questioned irately, staring back at him.

Tony merely shook his head and shrugged wordlessly, lacing his fingers together behind his head.

Ziva shook her head and tore her eyes away from his grin. She couldn't think of a reason as to why he was being so annoying, other than he was simply being Tony. But judging by his smug body language and the conceited smirk on his face either something had happened, or he'd found something; neither of which would be remarkably auspicious for Ziva's wellbeing, or sanity.

She decided to dismiss it once again, ignoring his unnerving gaze as she went to take a bite of her lunch.

"Oh this is good, you two really should have got one," Ziva told them ardently, licking her lips.

"Does it taste like heaven, Ziva?" Tony asked nonchalantly, his facial expression unwavering.

Ziva's eyes snapped up to him once again and she opened her mouth to speak just as McGee cut in with a stern look in Tony's direction, "Thank you Ziva, but I already had lunch."

She barely acknowledged McGee as her and Tony began to stare each other down.

Without breaking eye contact with Ziva, Tony stretched his arms above his head, smiling at the faint crack sounding from his joints. He lowered his arms and began to speak in an exaggeratedly boisterous voice, "Oh, is it just me or has the temperature seemed to rapidly flare in here?" he raised his eyebrows at Ziva suggestively before continuing, "I can feel the sweat dripping down my back."

Ziva adorned a disgusted expression as she spoke, "Not only do I not care, that is disgusting," she wrinkled her nose, "and it's winter, Tony, it's freezing."

His smirk was really beginning to get on Ziva's nerves.

She broke eye contact with Tony as she glanced out the window where she could see the snow twirl toward the ground through the fogged glass, "Speaking of winter," she began, "I hope we can get off soon, before we get snowed in."

"How much do you want to get off, Ziva?" Tony's voice echoed through the quiet space as realisation suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks.

He had found the book. Crap.

Every single thing he had said since her return from lunch had been quotes from the book, and it had taken her this long to figure that out. No wonder he was being such a pretentious asshole.

Soon after, Tony went back to typing up his next report as Ziva inconspicuously checked her second drawer to confirm that he had, in fact, taken the book. She glared at him across the room watching as his eyes flickered with amusement.

"Hold the fort," Tony exclaimed loudly, getting up from his chair, "Got to use the head."

He strolled toward the bathrooms casually, slipping through the door and heading toward the urinals. He whistled merrily, going about his business before casually walking toward the sinks where he washed his hands and began to play with his hair. He watched his reflection as droplets of water clung to the tips.

His eyes flickered sideways momentarily as somebody opened the door. Tony heard the faint click of a lock and his lip quirked.

"Ziva," he nodded, acknowledging her presence.

She walked toward him, seeming to glide across the floor like a gazelle despite her obvious anger toward him.

She stood before him, small yet very terrifying as she placed her hands on her hips and drew her lips to the side in a sneer.

"Where is it," she demanded as he observed her from the corner of his eye.

Tony shrugged and opened his mouth to tell her that he had no idea what she was talking about when she cut him off by curling her fingers around his bicep. With a strength her body couldn't possibly possess, she had him facing her.

"Do not act dumb with me, Tony," she hissed.

"I'm not," he put his hands up as though surrendering.

She narrowed her eyes before she released his arm and began straightening her clothes.

Tony smirked, resting his hip against the sink as he watched her. He folded his arms across his chest as she took a step toward him.

She sighed, "The book, Tony, my book." She seemed uncomfortable as she spoke, rolling her eyes to avoid his gaze.

"Oh!" His expression lit up as faux comprehension flooded his face, "Why didn't you say so?" he grinned pulling the book from his inside jacket pocket he waved it at her.

This caught her attention as her gaze flew back up to him.

Ziva knew of course that he had the book, but actually watching him wave it at her tauntingly caused her temper to flare.

"Tony!" she snapped admonishingly.

She stood there, watching him with her mouth agape, for an extended moment. She seemed oddly surprised.

She narrowed her eyes before attempting to snatch the book from his grip, but he was too fast. In a single moment he had the book held above his head, and given his considerable height advantage Ziva hadn't a hope in hell of getting it from him. But it was Ziva.

"Tony, don't make me..." she stopped when she saw his egoistical smile. Her bottom lip jutted out in annoyance as she eyed the book.

Unexpectedly, she jumped in the air reaching for the book, catching Tony unawares. But much to her dismay, she missed by half an inch; Tony laughed.

She appeared flustered as she took a step away from him, "Give me the book, Tony," There was a note of seriousness in her voice.

"Oh Ziva," he appeared sympathetic. He leant forward, his lips right beside her ear as he whispered huskily causing hot, rolling waves of his breath to dance across her skin, "You'll have to come get it, then."

"Hmph," she raised a defiant chin before doing just that. Suddenly, she had launched herself at him, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist and her arms outstretched for the book which Tony had dropped due to his surprise.

Tony stumbled backward, unprepared for her body weight suddenly being coiled around his frame. His eyes were perfectly aligned with her breasts, and his hands ran down her sides until they reached her ass where they remained to help hold her up.

"Ziva," he hissed through clenched teeth, watching her smiling down at him, with the book in her hand. "Ziva, wha – what are you..." he pulled her up his body higher as she began to slip.

"You told me to get my book," she said nonchalantly, her voice was a hushed undertone.

Tony bit his lip, "Yeah I didn't mean tackle me to get it."

She shrugged, squirming subtly.

Tony couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath as she rubbed her body against his. She was driving him insane.

The prolonged absence of Tony's sex life had really taken a toll on his libido. His sexual urges we're becoming increasingly apparent, and he knew it would only be a limited amount of time before he'd experience something truly embarrassing.

It was surprising how quickly everything had changed; mere moments before it had been him messing with her, but now - as he attempted to bite back a groan - he felt that the tables had turned and that she now held the reins.

"Tony," it was her whispered voice, heavy and teasing, that almost pushed him over the edge. He felt his penis begin to harden and he closed his eyes against the heat seeping through his veins. Not now, anytime but now.

Ziva laughed throatily at his pained expression before tapping him on the cheek with the tips of her fingers.

Tony couldn't help himself any longer, he released his grip on her behind and let her slide until her heated body came in to contact with his burgeoning shaft. This time he did groan, and she gasped; her eyes widening in surprise.


Want more? The next chapter is sure to satisfy, or you could always tell me what you thought of this chapter ahaha, reviews are perfect. The more the better. Click on through for lemons.