A/N: John's voice as the narrator. Keep in mind this is only a crack story, not meant to offend anyone.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. This is only for entertainment and not for profit.
For those sensitive days, that time of the month.
Sam is sitting in a hotel room, foot rocking in a fast beat as you can tell he is pissed.
Dean walks in to a hotel room, carrying a cake in one hand and a gift in the other. Sam lightens up and smiles.
"Aw, you really shouldn't have Dean."
He starts to unpack, it's a swift blade knife, and there is engraving on it. Sam's read it and slowly turns red and his slips are pressed hard together.
"Thank you, for the 9 months on the road, NINE? What you can't count or do you just don't care? It has been 10 months now Dean!" Sam voices reaches a high pitch," is it that you just couldn't be bothered to get it right?" Sam takes in a deep breath and continues.
"And another thing I hate the way you chew your food with your mouth open like some kind of a barn animal. I hate you, I hate you." Sam slaps Dean repeatedly on the shoulder.
Dean looks all freaked out.
"I just can't seem to get anything right. Boy could I use some help." He holds up his hand and magically a guide appears in it, a hunter's guide to PMS on the road.
For those special times in the month you need the special hunters guide to PMS system, highly trained hunters counselors will talk to you, in the ever most irrational argument. For only 300 dollars a year you will receive this transmitter that will fit snugly in your ear that keeps you in touch with PMS central 24 hours a day.
Dean takes the earplug, and puts it into his ear.
"Help my brother has PMS and I don't know what to do?"
Bobby answers the phone.
"Don't worry I'm right here with you."
Sam starts to cry.
"God you're so insensitive. Why can't you be more thoughtful?"
"Hey gives me a br…"
"Stop!" Bobby's voice is very demanding. "Stop right there, simply apologize."
Dean grabs his faces with both hands to try and stay calm.
"Okay listen Sammy, uh um I mean Sam. I'm sorry Sam, you're right. I was an ass. I'll try to … erhm… grow tomorrow."
Sam sniffles and wipes his eyes.
"Tell him you love him."
"Uh Sam, I really… I love you dude."
"Chick flick moment?" Sam looks unreadable
"Yeah you looked like you needed it."
Sam pulls Dean into a hug, and Dean sighs thinking it's all over sighting deeply. Sam goes into frenzy, his arms all over himself as if to push Dean's scent of him.
"Yeah THAT IT'S, that breathing thing again, in and out, in and out; GOD YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!"
Dean looks terrified.
An alarm goes off inside Dean's ear.
"He is already in an irrational-level 7. This is a code red, don't say a word; just get him some pain reliever!"
Sam screams in the background.
"This place is just making me feel even cheaper. Blah, blah, blah."
Dean runs to the duffel bag in the bathroom, turning everything on to find the plastic bottle. It's empty! Dean is freaked out. Knowing all too well what comes next; Sam continues.
"Can't you tell your sucking out all the air in HERE?" Sam throws the pillows all over the room.
"The bottle is empty; fuck man, why couldn't this be a demon?"
"Get out of the hotel room, I repeat, get out of the hotel room now!"
"I can't, I'm trapped in the bathroom." Dean's voice is stressed.
"Is there a window?"
"Yeah! But its five floors up!"
"Go for it!"
Dean yanks the window open and throws himself through it.
The hunters PMS system: because no one should go through these times alone.
Hard knocks are heard in the empty toilet. The door opens and Sam runs over to the window shouting after Dean.
"Hey, are you trying to avoid me or what?"
THE HUNTERS PMS SYSTEM!