A/N: Hey there! Missed me much? School has been killing me lately and it will only get worse, but I said I'd publish a new fic by the end of the year, so here we are. This one will be rather light-hearted with lots of House/Cameron interaction, fluff and humour included, although still striving to be at least somewhat realistic, because that's just how I am. The first chapter takes place in season 2 episode 15 (Clueless).
Chapter 1 - The Proposition
Cameron walked into House's office to find him sitting on his recliner staring at the whiteboard, apparently deeply in thought.
"We started chelation therapy with dimercaprol," she informed him.
"Thrilled to hear it," he responded while glancing back at her.
"His kidney function hasn't improved," she continued, still standing in the doorway with her arms crossed
"It will," he answered with certainty.
"He's gonna need a lung transplant," said Cameron with a sigh.
House smirked, "He's becoming more attractive by the minute, isn't he?"
Cameron gave him a forlorn smile and answered, "You're pleased. You think you've proved every marriage is a mistake."
House glanced down before asking "Do I look pleased?"
She slowly walked towards him and moved her shirt slightly to reveal a stack of $20 bills stuck behind her waistband. She pulled them out and offered them to House. Looking her directly in the eyes he took a hold of them, the tips of his fingers lightly touching hers in the process.
"What do you say we up the stakes?" The words fell of her tongue before she could do anything to stop them. Her heart started beating faster.
House let go of the notes, his interest piqued now.
Her arm fell limply by her side.
"You believe there is no such thing as a happy marriage, right? You can't prove that theory with just one couple. That's not very scientific, is it?"
"It is based on a lifetime of experience, but go on. You obviously still haven't let go of your childish ideology."
What was she doing?! Instead of getting herself out of the mess her stupid mouth got her in, she was only digging a deeper hole.
"Marry me," the words rushed out of her mouth without her volition. She quickly added, "There is nothing like first hand experience," to make herself look as if she knew what she was doing.
House raised his eyebrows, "Did you just oh so subtly propose to me?"
Oh god, what am I doing? Embarrassment stained her cheeks a light pink.
"You're positive you're right, plus I'll do all your clinic hours for a…for 3 months if I lose."
House gave her a condescending look, "You're serious."
Cameron gulped, fidgeting slightly. There goes my career down the drain.
"Unless you're afraid…" she challenged him. She might as well go all the way since she already made a complete fool of herself.
That got his attention, "What are the conditions?"
Cameron was stumped, she hadn't thought about that part at all. Of course she didn't, it wasn't like she came into his office with the purpose of asking him to marry her…
"Uh… Well, we get married and… practically we act as a normal married couple would." Her eyes were anywhere but on him.
"Yes… we can easily get a divorce afterwards."
House scratched his head, "I never thought marriage vows would mean so little to you… but then again… For how long?"
She thought about it briefly before looking at him and answering, "6 months."
"That's a bit long, don't you think?" he commented, measuring her with his eyes.
"It takes time to get settled in and to gather enough information."
He smirked, "If I remember correctly, that's also the exact amount of time you were married to your previous hubby before he went into the fertilizer business."
A mixture of anger and grief squeezed her heart and she was just about to tell him to forget it when he spoke, "7 months."
She answered, "Fine," more out of defiance that anything else.
"So..." drew out House, contemplating the proposition, "7 months of connubial bliss and then we divorce. What exactly does that entail?"
"We move in together and then… live together… like a regular marriage."
House simply answered, "Ok."
Cameron looked at him in shock, her eyes wide.
"Changed your mind already?" he asked her with a challenging glint in his eyes.
"No," Cameron barely managed to utter.
"By the way, how will we determine who wins?"
"Well… if at the end you feel like you were unhappy in the marriage then you win, otherwise I do."
"You do realise that there is no chance of that ever happening?"
Cameron shrugged and said, "You don't know until you try."
She stood there rather awkwardly for a couple of moments before saying, "We can discuss the details tomorrow… and you can still change your mind if you want to."
"You're not getting out of this so easily. You reap what you sow," he answered, by the looks of it quite amused by the current situation.
Cameron only managed an "Ok then… tomorrow," before she exited the office with his eyes trailing her every move till the moment she was out of his sight.
A/N: Like I said, I'm snowed under with schoolwork, but I will try to update as fast as possible. I also have a favour to ask. If anyone has any idea how marrying at the registrar (is it?) thing works, please PM me. You'd save me a lot of trouble. *puppy dog eyes* Oh, and I think I'm supposed to wish you a happy New Year and all that.