Disney owns the characters; I'm just taking them for a test drive.
Commotion and pandemonium had erupted in the Possible home when clouds of black smoke began billowing out of the kitchen. Ron Stoppable ran headlong into the kitchen, looking very much like he did when running to the end zone in high school. This was an emergency that only he could handle. "KP, get back!"
"Okay that's it," Kim Stoppable groused. "I give up! I can't do this!"
"No duh," her brother Tim said. "That was microwave popcorn you just turned into nuclear waste."
"I followed the directions exactly!" Kim insisted. "Even I'm not that much of a kitchen disaster!"
"I think I know what happened," a brunette girl said, reaching behind the microwave and yanking off a drink coaster shaped device. Stacy Hopkins, Jim Possible's girlfriend, glared at her beau. "You've got some 'splainin' to do!"
"Ooooh, busted!" Ron said, putting an arm around his wife and preparing to watch the fireworks.
"Wait," Stacy's fraternal twin sister Tracy said, taking the device from her sister. "Isn't this the hyper charger Tim was working on?" Tracy shot daggers at her own boyfriend. "I thought you guys were past this sort of juvenile prank!"
Jim and Tim backed down from the combined might of their girlfriends and big sister. "Uh, sorry?" they said in unison.
"Sorry's not gonna cut it!" Tracy declared.
"You need to do some serious groveling if you think we're kissing you guys at midnight!" Stacy added.
"Really!" the Tweebs insisted, "We're sorry!"
"Not to us," Stacy said with a wicked grin.
"Her," Tracy added, referring to Kim.
"Do we have to?" the Tweebs asked in defeat. The cold stares of their girlfriends told them the answer. They silently trudged back into the living room while Ron put a fresh bag of popcorn into the microwave.
Kim smiled at the girls she had taken to calling the Tweebettes. "Nice work!"
"You just have t know what buttons to push," Stacy said with a smile.
"Besides," Tracy added, "we can make threats against them you can't." With that, the girls went back into the living room, leaving Kim and Ron alone.
"I really like them," Kim said.
"You weren't too sure about them at first," Ron pointed out.
"Not just anyone can date my baby brothers," Kim smiled. "I think they have what it takes."
For Kim Stoppable, her first Christmas as a married woman was no different from her last Christmas as a single woman had been the previous year. New Year's Eve, however, was a different story. The Stoppables and the Tweebettes were all gathered at the Possible home to watch a very special year end wrap up. While Tunes TV wasn't a channel James and Anne Possible watched with any regularity, tonight they were making an exception. Tonight Tunes TV was running a special called What a Year; a special that Kim and Ron had been panelists for.
Back in August, Kim had been invited to meet with some executives from the music video channel that no longer played music videos. The suits in question, since they never saw Kim out getting into the same kind of trouble people famous for being famous get into in order to stay in the spotlight, they assumed that she was single and in need of a reality show in order to find Mr. Right. Apparently, it took a combination of Kim telling them off, and then being chastised by one of their producers before they agreed to back down.
The producer, a woman named Gabby DeLaney, had more than made up for her idiot colleagues. All the nacos Ron and Rufus could eat, as well as a nacho cheese fountain in the green room had helped smooth over any ruffled feathers. The show was coming to the segment dedicated to Team Possible, and the family was hunkering down in the living room with snacks and sodas to enjoy the festivities.
Kim and Ron spent a few afternoons with the production crew, answering questions and giving comments on the year's topics while sitting in front of a green screen. They never even saw any of the other panelists, so this would be the first time they saw the show in its post production glory. So far the show had been fine, with the exception of one really obnoxious comedian, and everyone was looking forward to seeing Kim and Ron's own segment.
Ron, with a fresh bowl of popcorn and a naked mole rat on his shoulder, sat down on the floor beside Kim and set the bowl down. Rufus did a swan dive into the popcorn before Ron or Kim could grab a handful. "You see, KP, this is why it's a bad idea to let Rufus watch old videos of swim meets."
"Duly noted for the next time I have to take him to work with me and I have to find something to keep him occupied," Kim deadpanned.
"Shhhhhhh. The show's starting again," Hana Stoppable, who was happily nestled in her big sister-in-law's lap said.
"Okay, Hana," Kim laughed. "We'll be quiet."
James Possible turned up the volume. "Just to be on the safe side."
The Tunes TV logo flashed on the television screen, followed by the show's own logo. "Welcome back to What a Year!" the female narrator announced. Images of Kim in her classic mission gear and the purple and black ensemble she'd been wearing since senior year danced across the screen. "Kim Possible used to be a world saving teen hero juggling high school and super villain plots. Now she's a world saving twenty something hero juggling college and super villain plots. But Kim's been a thorn in the side of not just would be despots, but also the paparazzi. They just couldn't get any dirt on Kim or her love life, and it drove them crazy."
"Kim Possible is one of those people who you just want to see fall flat on her face," a z list comedian no one had ever heard of named Duke Duncan said. "She's just too perfect! Regular people don't want to see someone that hot, and that popular, and know that she's actually a good person. It throws the balance of the cosmos totally out of alignment."
"Kim Possible? She's my girl!" MC Honey gushed. "I'd still be in jail for grand theft goodie bag if not for her. Kim is the real deal!"
"You know, I like that Honey person," James remarked.
"Yes," the narration continued, "in a world where people find fame for all the wrong reasons, here's someone who earned hers. And she did it while keeping her private life private. The eldest child of a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist, Kim burst onto the world saving scene purely by accident when an avid plush collector was trapped by his own laser security grid, and he typed in her web address by mistake. Kim went from a regular girl in junior high, to the girl who could do anything! That included this past May when Kim Possible became Mrs. Ron Stoppable, and did it without the tabloid press knowing about it."
Kim smiled when Ron's name was mentioned, and that they got it right. But that smile quickly turned to a scowl when that Duncan guy came back on.
"Ron who?" the comedian asked. "Who the bleep is Ron Stupidable?"
"You know, there are more original ways of getting my name wrong," Ron grumbled.
"Typical show folk," James added.
"Ron Stoppable?" MC Honey mused. "Why does that name sound familiar?"
"Have you heard of Ron Stoppable?" Pain King asked Steel Toe in another cut.
"Sounds kind of familiar," the metal footed juggernaut said. "I think I may have gotten fan mail from him once."
"You wrote Steel Toe a fan letter?" Kim asked her now beet red spouse.
"Just once," Ron replied sheepishly.
"It seems like no one knows who Ron Stoppable is," the narrator continued. "Just don't say that around Kim." Next on the TV screen were Kim, Ron and Rufus. The caption for them read "Kim and Ron Stoppable," with the subtitle "Team Possible."
"It really gets me tweaked when no one can remember Ron," the televised Kim said. She took Ron's hand and said, "I couldn't save the world without him."
"Kim and Ron met when they were little kids," the narrator explained. "In fact, they met on their very first day of pre-k and were best friends from the beginning. That friendship went all through grade school, junior high, and right into high school. But come their junior prom, they went from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. But if you really want to know who Ron is...." the image changed from Kim and Ron to one of the myriad times Ron lost his pants. His belt got snagged and his pants went straight down, revealing a pair of black boxer sorts with red polka dots.
"Aw, man!" Ron groused. "Why did they have to show that?!"
Hana couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Brother's in his undies!"
"Yeah, yeah," Ron grumbled. "Laugh it up, Intruder!"
Ron's mood got more foul when the panelists reacted to Ron's on screen antics. "Oh yeah!" Duke Duncan said. "That guy! He's been the butt of more than a few of my jokes."
"Him?" MC Honey asked. "Yeah he's always with her, but she married him? Wow! Maybe he's packing something in them drawers that we don't know about."
Both Kim and Ron turned a deep crimson.
"I really don't need to hear about that," Anne said.
"I don't think any of us need to hear about that," Jim gagged.
"Ever!" his brother added.
"So what does Kim see in her trouser impaired companion?" the narrator asked. "We'll let her tell you."
"He's the perfect guy for me," the prerecorded Kim said. "He knows my moods, and he knows how to get me to slow down and not take life too seriously. But more than that, he's always stood by me, and I know he always will." Kim, both on TV and in the living room, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her husband's lips. "And I love him more than anyone or anything else in the world."
"Booyah," both Rons said softly.
"So just how did these two tie the know with no one knowing?" the narrator queried. "It all comes down to Kim's technical support, Wade Load."
"Wade made sure no one found out about the wedding who we didn't want on the guest list," Ron said from the TV. "We wanted to keep this to friends and family, y'know? Besides, the less the press knew, the less the bad guys knew, and we really didn't want any super villain party crashers."
"You know," MC Honey said, "I'm down with that! God knows what happened when I got married. Then divorced. Then married again. The press was all over that stuff. Good for Kim and Ron that they had their big day without it getting interrupted."
"So what's next for our intrepid heroes?" the narrator asked.
"Well, I'm about to finish up at the University of Upperton," Kim's televised counterpart reported. "Then it's off to law school."
"Wait, she'd only been out of high school for like, two years," Duncan observed. "At least, I think it's been two years..... I mean, I'm pretty sure she turned eighteen at around the same time. I was counting down the days till she was legal!"
"Okay, I think that guy might need a lesson in monkey style!" Ron snarled.
"And then add in another sixteen styles of kung fu for good measure," Kim added coldly. "What a creep!"
"Man, she must've taken one bleep-load of classes," the offensive would be entertainer added. "No wonder she married that bleep loser; she must have no life whatsoever and he was the best she could get!"
"Wow!" Pop starlet Britina gushed. "Kim Possible, attorney at law! That's pretty awesome."
"I don't think I'm going into private practice," the Kim on TV said. "I just want to use another aspect of the law to get the bad guys put away."
"And what about Ron?" the narrator asked.
"That man is the best student I've ever had!" Samantha Hill, head of the Upperton Institute for the Culinary Arts said. "He's got more pure cooking talent than anyone else I've ever known. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he winds up as a gourmet chef at a five start restaurant."
"So there you have it," the narrator said. "Two teen heroes, now in their twenties, still saving the world. And two lifelong best friends who fell in love and are now enjoying married life. But what about those rumors about why they got married?"
"Y'know, we haven't see Kim in one of those crop tops in a while," Duncan said. "She probably got knocked up."
"Why that little," James growled.
"Just wait, Dad," Kim said. "We addressed this."
"We don't have kids yet," Ron said. "We got married because we wanted to, not because we had to."
"We have talked about having kids, but now isn't the time," Kim added. "We're not ready to start a family yet. We're waiting until after I'm done with law school and Ron's finished cooking school."
"It won't last," Duncan said in a smug voice. "Kim, a word of advice; ditch the zero and get with a real man! I'm single. Call me!"
James hit the off button on the remote a little harder than he had to. "Show folk."
"It's no wonder why a jerk like him is single," Kim said in a dark voice. "If he makes it big, I am so giving up on popular entertainment."
Ron sighed and hung his head. "Still don't get any respect. Man, this must be how Rodney Dangerfield felt!"
"Guy's a dummy," Hana said brightly. "Brother's funnier!"
"She's right son," Dean Stoppable agreed.
"So right!" Kim added. "Don't let a real loser like him bring you down. He's single, and you're going home with me. Who's the real zero here?"
"There's still an hour left of the show," Tracy pointed out. "How many more segments are you guys on?"
"Three more," Kim said, "but I think I'm done with that show."
Anne set the remote down on the coffee table. "Then let's leave the TV off. That show isn't really our cup of tea, anyway. We just put it on because you two were in it."
"There's still a couple of hours left of the year," Dana Stoppable pointed out. "What do we want to do to pass the time?"
"Board game night?" Jim and Tim suggested.
"Sounds spankin,'" Kim smiled. Board games with the fam was a much better idea than watching idiots on TV.
Later that night, well after midnight, Kim and Ron sat in their living room with an empty bottle of sparkling cider. "Happy New Year, Ron," Kim said before kissing him.
"Back atcha, KP."
Kim stretched a bit and let out a small yawn. "Long night, but it was fun seeing the Tweebettes make my brothers beg for just a peck on the cheek. They have such the devious streak to them."
"I think you've been a bad influence," Ron joked.
"Maybe a little," Kim said with a smile. A small snore from the empty snack bowl drew Kim's attention. Rufus had knocked out after finishing off the cheese puffs. "It looks like someone had a little too much fun."
"Some of us have our own ways of bringing in a new year. For Rufus, it's cheese overload." A sly look crossed Ron's face. "So here we are. Rufus is riding the dream roller coaster, Monique's in Colorado Springs visiting her parents, and we've got the place all to ourselves."
Kim immediately got the gist of what Ron was saying. "Why, Mr. Stoppable, are you suggesting some way of ringing in the New Year properly?"
"Mrs. Stoppable, all I can say is 'booyah!'"
Before long, Kim and Ron had retired to their bedroom to celebrate the start of a new year. Needless to say, their year was off to a fantastic start!
I wish you all a happy and safe New Year. Provided that the Monoliths don't ignite Jupiter into a second sun (bonus points to whoever gets the reference), I'll see you all again in 2010.
Thanks for a great year in fan fiction!