Summary: Shep/Weir, with hinted at Sam/Jack/Siler. so this is custom made for comanche_rider's bday. for those who do not know the lovely lady, this means heavy hint of slash, crack [the real thing this time, lol, I'm making no attempt to be true to character and the 'plot' -snort- would fit porn ;)] and then.. some s/w smut. LOL, was tempted to not name the other 'ship and leave any non f-listers in the dark.. but can't be bothered. 'tis what it is. you are warned.

Warning: implied slash
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

"Radek?" Elizabeth called out into the repair bay.


She turned, locating the scientist's messy head of hair popping up from between two banks of Ancient computers.

"Where's your helper?"

"The sergeant? I'm afraid Rodney came by and threw a fit and he stalked off, muttering that he had better things to do than deal with a crazy Canadian's jealousy," the Czech shrugged, frowning back down where he'd just straightened from, "I think they are both crazy. If you will excuse me."

Shaking her head, Elizabeth elbowed the man standing besides her and choking on snickers as Dr. Zelenka disappeared amid muttered curses and the clanking of some heavy tool on alien metal.

"Stop that, John. What's so funny about Rodney interfering with repairs?"

John tried to clear his throat as they both turned and walked out, still chuckling, "What's funny is the jealous rants I've had to listen to from him. I've been wondering when he'd finally snap and aim them at the players."

Frowning quellingly at him, Elizabeth shook her head, "Jooohnn, I hope you haven't been encouraging him..."

John blinked innocently, "Me??"

Elizabeth smiled wryly, "Where does he come up with these notions anyway?"

John shrugged, hands in his pockets, "Couldn't guess. Can't see Radek going for the blond musclebound type."

The woman at his side snorted, obviously thrown by the image, "You think the *muscle man's* given him reason to turn green?"

It was John's turn to laugh, "With everything I've heard our ex-SGC nurses saying about the man? God no."

"Right." Elizabeth groaned softly, "Sometimes I really feel like I'm running a soap opera. Let's have Chuck find the poor sergeant before our illustrious visitors start suspecting we did something to damage the chief engineer they kindly lent us."


The acoustics of the strange room at the end of the North pier made the lightest whisper travel as though pitched for an audience. Even the sound of rough skin sliding over fire-proof cloth sounded loudly right to the doorway.

"Here??" Anywhere else, the word would have been an almost silent mutter, deep and muffled among heavy, stumbling footsteps.

"It's been *two* bloody weeks." Just as deep, growled and followed by a dull thump and the wet sound of lips meeting and separating without grace or patience.

Another thump, panted breaths and the sudden loud whir of a zipper being lowered, "I *know* how long you've been gone. But what about-"

What should have been a quiet hum sounded like a drawn-out moan as Elizabeth bumped into John's back, suddenly frozen as he'd crossed the threshold.

"Ooomf! John-"


"..Later." The sound of the very sexy growl from somewhere at the back of the alcoved room Chuck had tracked their quarry to made Elizabeth's mouth snap shut. It only took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the shadows and discern the form moving against a wall, at least 50 feet away; hearing John swear under his breath at the same moment.

Luckily this theatre space only propagated sound in one direction, and the two of them were at one of the receiving zones.


"Yeah. Err, Eliz-"

Even at a distance, it was blatantly obvious that the visiting general and whoever he had pinned against that wall were fumbling with each other's clothing while holding a hard kiss. The general's dress jacket slipped off a shoulder, revealing a large hand sliding roughly into his white hair, the attached bare forearm flexing and, in the context of the cool room, giving a disconcerting impression of naked passion. And confusing Elizabeth slightly; she didn't remember Colonel Carter having such large hands...

John's attempt to tug her back out of the room made Elizabeth start to turn her head to follow him, but then movement caught her attention and they both watched as the decoration-heavy jacket hit the floor with a series of clinks. And then the general was rolled, his back hitting the wall with a thump that John recognized from when he'd first arrived in the doorway just in time to hear the voice that went with the very bare, very *muscled* back now in their view.

"My. God..."

John nodded at Elizabeth's shocked words, still goggled himself, even though he'd had a minute more to try to assimilate the concept.

Short, dark blond hair, pale skin stretched over tensed muscles and the top of a flight suit hanging down perilously low at the waist. Numbly grateful that those hips were pressed into- well, that the material wasn't going to drop, John jerked his eyes away as they both heard a satisfied growl echo down when long tanned fingers came around that waist to dig into a shoulder-blade.

"Elizabeth, we should-" His muttered entreaty was cut off by a gasp and another thump and he barely caught himself from turning his head in automatic curiosity. He hissed instead, a little disturbed by the wide eyes she was staring with, " 'Lizabeth!"

"*Chrissst*..." That drawn out lisp from deep in the room was too much; it was too late for John to wish to have never heard it, but he grabbed Elizabeth's arm and jerked her firmly out of the room, trying to escape further damage to his psyche. Facing those two was going to be hell as it was...

Being dragged backward made Elizabeth stumble and she had to desperately swing out an arm to grasp John's bicep, her eyes in the process torn from their fascination with the general's bared shoulders, as powerful as the chest he... was.. kissing...... his way down. She hummed distractedly, "Oh. *My*-"

John got her through the doorway, blocking the definitely beautiful sight of a man losing himself in the pleasure of a blowjob. The loss of that distraction made her aware that she was breathing far too quickly herself, and felt downright weak in the knees, resting her back on the wall next to the door as John let her go. He stood in front of her, a thin foot between them, and she could see his eyes as wide as hers felt; could read equal reluctant arousal in them as had splashed through her at the completely unexpected love scene.

"Well," John tried to catch his breath, all too aware of the sounds he could still hear from the other room and trying hard not to let them create any images in his mind; immensely grateful that the shadows had hidden any actual 'action' from his view, "So much for it being a safe bet that he's not interested in Radek."

That managed to make Elizabeth giggle and he grinned proudly, straightening to his toes, for a moment forgetting the uncomfortable situation.

"I don't know, John, seems to me he's already pretty tak-" They both twitched at the growl that came through the door, followed by a laugh with such an obvious overtone of sexy temptation.. Elizabeth's eyes dropped to half-mast, staring at her own embodiment of temptation as his whole body jittered.

Another drawn out moan and John shuddered, his eyes widening as he stared at the woman in front of him, "Elizabeth!... You-" He could barely get the concept out, let along the words, gapping as she turned back to him from peeking around the corner, "You're.. you can't seriously be turned on by-"

The shocked disbelief in John's voice dragged Elizabeth's attention firmly to him, grinning at the not-quite-prudish twist to his lips. "Oh come on, John, you're not seriously telling me you aren't?"

"Hell no! -I mean, *yes*!"

The fumbled response was just a little too rushed to not trigger her radar and Elizabeth's grin turned deliberately, teasingly, sultry, reaching a hand out and wrapping it firmly around the giveaway bulge pushing out his zipper, "Really?"

She leaned in, lowering her voice, still listening to the sexy audio track surrounding them, "I'd have thought that watching a blowjob being thoroughly enjoyed would be pretty arousing," she squeezed gently, "Maybe even just a little sexy to have someone that powerful at your knees? No?" Though he wasn't answering, his hips rocked forward into her touch. "Isn't watching a man get a blowjob your favourite porn scene?"

He winced, whining, "Eliiiizabethhhh." She knew very well what scenes got to him, they'd watched enough together, "What's *your* excuse though. *You* don't particularly like those."

Elizabeth's head tilted, her fingers still busy, "No. But for one thing," she nodded her head to the doorway, "*That* wasn't faked enjoyment, which makes a world of difference." She stepped up close to him, her free hand coming up to play with the ends of his hair along his neck. "It reminded me of *you*, as a matter of fact. And, even in those few seconds, in those few touches... I could see the very real care behind it. That's no more two people 'fucking' than," Elizabeth grinned, quickly shifting her weight to twist them until he landed with his back on the wall, "Than *this* is."

" 'Lizabeth!"

She grinned at his failed attempt at censure, nipping at the soft skin at the edge of his T-shirt as she slid both hands to his waist.

John's hands hurriedly covered hers, halting the downward slide of his pants, trying to hiss warningly, even though his pulse was hopping with excitement and he could feel the grin splitting his face at this exhibitionist streak in his lover, "We're in the middle of a corridor, madam administrator, even more in public view than *they* are."

Elizabeth wriggled her hands, unable to free them and letting her weight rest on his chest instead, "What happened to that cocky fellow I used to command?"

About to roll his eyes, a sibilant grunt from the room made his spine twitch, swearing at Ronon's curiosity about Earth culture for the explanation he actually *had* for the sound of palms slapping on Ancient walls. Shit! Oh *hell* no! He sooo didn't want to be here.

Elizabeth had obviously heard just as clearly and suddenly jerked out of his hold and flipped herself to face the wall, peeking over her shoulder with the wickedest come hither he'd ever seen in all his days.

"That's it." John didn't need Elizabeth's ass rubbing against his crotch to convince him that he was done for. Taking a second to lean down and nip at the top of her spine, he growled, the distinct scent of aroused Elizabeth Weir that wafted up at the close range getting thoroughly rid of his last reservations.

Elizabeth gasped at the arm that suddenly clamped around her waist and lifted her backward against John's chest, chuckling when he stepped back with sweary mutters and quickly took them into the nearest alcove, flipping her to lay her back against the wall in the shadows. Her laughter chopped off abruptly when he dropped to his knees and hurriedly undid her pants, his eyes glaring up at her almost accusingly.

"I can't believe you actually want to do this."

She smiled, gentling momentarily at the familiar touch of his hands smoothing her belly, "Want to pleasure you?"

He grinned crookedly, eyes clearing a little, "That part I'm fine with. In a public corridor of Atlantis is a little.. unexpected."

The slow, rhythmic groans from the other room were still there, faded a little by the alcove, or lowered tones; Elizabeth hardly cared as she felt John's warm breath on her swollen sex. Could hardly hear at all as he slid home and closed lips on her clit. She stared at the dark head of hair, the vulnerable-looking strip of skin at the edge of his forehead; yes, the power trip was beyond hot. And *knowing* that she was almost deaf from the blood pounding in her ears, utterly unable to hear if anyone was coming toward them, sent urgency flooding through her system.

Gasping at the pleasure slip-sliding along her veins, she slid her fingers into that messy mop of hair and slowly tightened her grip, pulling him closer and tighter as the need grew unbelievably fast. Crazy response to porn and risk, but who cared when the pleasure promised to be so powerful.

Shifting to send his eyes upward, John had to admit that power at his mercy was damned arousing, and, feeling the woman under his lips bucking and tightening, he stood up quickly, her hands feverishly interfering with his as he tried to open his zipper.

Growling and leaning over to kiss her hard into distraction, his own shaky hands got his erection free and he clumsily shoved at her slacks until they at least got down to her knees. When he lifted his lips, her focus on him slowly melted into a quizzical grin, eyes flicking to her rumpled pants.

He licked at his slightly sore lips, feeling predatory, "Turn."

Watching her pupils widen, he growled again, pressing at one of her shoulders to get her moving. The gasp as she laid her palms on the cool wall was almost as enticing as the pale globes of her ass, glowing in the shadows. He palmed them greedily on his way to slotting his hands onto her hips. A quick shift in the angle of her pelvis and he took a moment to soak in the sight of so-feminine curves, laid out for his personal pleasure..

The slowing of his thoughts let the disquietingly deep sounds of rising urgency slip into his awareness and he grunted, shaking his head slightly and eyes narrowing on the beautiful woman in front of him as he brought one hand back to grip his cock, stroking a couple times on the way to sliding himself between her legs.

A few seconds of shifting together and he slid home with a relieved groan, rocking his hips hard forward as he held hers still.

Pulling back as much as he dared, he slid back, shuddering at the oh so wet, *tight* slide. "God, that feels good! No way I can comprehend giving this up."

Gasping as he started moving hard and fast, Elizabeth didn't bother to add her thanks for that, feeling the pounding thrusts hitting right where she'd been about to drop her fingers to. She braced on her hands and tilted her hips even harder into him, clenching on the hard intrusion as the tingling wave appeared, low in her belly.

At the last minute, she managed to bite her lip to keep from crying out, hearing the garbled groan behind her as heat flooded deep inside her.


There wasn't much in the world that he enjoyed more than these moments of affectionate nuzzling from his lover. He nibbled at a small hickey, mostly hidden at the back of the other's jaw, "What had you out here kicking the walls, anyway?"

"It was the walls or that puffed up little prick McKay."

Chuckling at the very sleepy, skin-muffled snarl, he leaned back against the wall, knees locked to keep them both upright as he tightened his hold on the unsurprisingly over-worked, and now sated-sleepy, body resting on him, one hand gripping to his sweat-slick mid-back, the other twitching soothingly in his wet hair, holding his face against his own shoulder. "What did the good doctor do to get on your nerves?" Memories of his own run-ins made his tone understandably sarcastic.

"Umph. Got right in my face accusing me of making time with his precious Zelenka."

The sergeant had to lift his head, unable to stop a small smirk, when his resting place started jumping as his lover cracked up with laughter.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Wish I was. Could do without the kind of images he forced into my head before I had to walk away or beat the living shit out of him." Rather than let the annoyance resurface, he ignored the general's continued guffaws and resettled his hips square to his, forearms bracketing his head on the wall and nudging his jaw up with his lips on his neck, sweat and stubble and not giving a damn about anything to do with work as he got lost in the missed comfort.


The warm, sweaty body resting lightly against her back didn't do anything to dull sound, though his still-rapid breathing was distracting. Nonetheless, Elizabeth heard the footsteps coming toward them even more clearly than the echo of tender mutters.


John stiffened against her for a second, then leaned to relay into her ear the city's info, "Colonel Carter."

She whispered back, "We have to stop her!" Reminded of the woman she'd at first assumed to be in that room, Elizabeth jerked, about to turn and call out to her.

"No! 'Lizabeth! You're- *We're* half naked here and I don't really want to have to look the general of Homeworld security in the eye and explain why I was spying on his tryst..."

Growling unaccustomed swearwords, Elizabeth couldn't decide whether to be glad the other woman had come from the opposite direction and had turned into the infamous room -missing *them*-, or be worried about the possible fallout of the scene about to go down.

She and John hurriedly started sorting themselves into more presentable states, ears straining to hear a shocked exclamation.


The happy sigh purred down the length of the room, riding a surprising resonance frequency. The softly muttered tease of "Kitten" was lower-pitched, but still travelled clearly.

"Hey, I've been *alone* these two weeks..." And they knew how he liked to be touched.

A rough palm slid through still-damp hair and a quietly affectionate voice replied to the almost-whine, "Wasn't arguing."

Sam's brows rose when she finally spotted them holding each other with lazy softness, wrinkled clothes barely-hitched back on hips. The very image of post-coital bodies. She walked up slowly, listening to their quiet breathing and realizing from it's volume that acoustics had to be at play. No doubt accounting for their not reacting to the sound of her approach.

She saw the quick flex of a muscle at a guess twitching a finger somewhere sensitive and the resulting grunt of pain before the half-hearted snarl huffed out, "Did you just call me **kitten**??"

She grinned, anticipating making them jump; and joining the teasing. Maybe that crooked jumpsuit would fall back down... "Couldn't wait for me?"


Elizabeth and John gapped at each other as they heard the challenge from where they'd been standing, inches from the doorway, waiting to see which direction they'd have to jump to minimize any 'problems'.

As John covered his eyes, groaning under his breath, Elizabeth choked back a laugh, shaking her head and gently taking her second-in-command's discouraged arm to lead him away as she snickered, "Definitely a soap opera."