A/N: MY FIRST STORY OF 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, I cheated. I wrote this in 2009 but posted it now, at 1:50 AM on January 1st, 2010. So, yeah. This is another sad attempt at bad humor. I laughed writing this, my imagination going into overdrive, so I hope you do too. Happy New year, everybody!!!!
Lily Evans was enjoying the peace and quiet of the Gryffindor common room one lazy Saturday afternoon, when her serene, calm, solitude was interrupted by four boys coming down the stairs from the boys dormitories. Lily's boyfriend, James Potter, came over and to where Lily was sitting and said,
"Hey Lily? Peter has a question but none of us can answer it. Do you think you…"
"It depends," Lily replied. "What's the question?"
"I can't tell you. But I need you to promise that when he asks, you won't back down. Promise you'll tell him."
"Okay," she agreed, after a hesitation and immediately regretted it as James called from across the common room,
"Okay, Guys! She'll tell him!"
The three remaining Marauders crossed the common room to where Lily was sitting on an armchair and James standing beside.
"Go, Pete," Sirius said, pushing the small, plump boy towards Lily.
"Hi, Peter. There was something you needed to ask?"
"Um…okay…well…promise you'll tell me? As soon as I asked THEM," he gestured to the three other Marauders, "they started to laugh and wouldn't tell me." The boy's already watery eyes seemed so close to tears, Lily felt sorry for him.
"Go on, Peter," She said. "I won't laugh and I promise to tell you."
"Okay…well…where do babies come from?" He said it all in a rush and Lily had to strain to hear.
"Sorry?" She said. By this time James, Sirius and Remus had begun to laugh.
"Where do babies come from?" Peter asked again, a bit more clearly. His face was bright red and he was concentrating on the floor as he said it.
"Please tell me you're joking," Lily said, partially in shock. "Please tell me this is just some practical joke you four are playing on me."
Peter shook his head miserably. James, Sirius and Remus were positively howling. They looked as if they were going to wet themselves.
"Um…well…" Lily began uncomfortably. "When a boy and a girl…" By the time she had finished telling Peter all the uncomfortable details, the other three marauders were rolling on the floor, holding their sides. Lily was sure it must have hurt to be laughing as hard as they were. A red faced Lily and even more red faced Peter stepped over the boys on the floor and Lily said,
"Grow UP, will you?"
This, of course, made the three very immature seventeen year olds laugh harder, if that were even possible.
"Thanks, Lily." An extremely embarrassed Peter said, not looking at Lily's eyes and headed up to his dormitory. As he ascended up the stairs, Lily shook her head and thought,
Just another normal day at Hogwarts.