Naminé was determined to see Roxas again. She made sure she was going to see him today.
Larxene was her only visitor today; Marluxia was taking Roxas out on his second mission.
"I shoulda just ditched you today," The older blonde sighed; she was sitting on the chair on the opposite end of the table with her boots propped up on the edge, "I don't have anything interesting to say. Marluxia's the one who does all the interrogating."
The younger girl stared at her lap. "Um…" She slowly raised one hand to tug on her hair, "Do...do you know what kind of mission Marluxia and Roxas are...are doing today?"
Larxene scoffed and stared haughtily at her nails. "Beats me. Why would I care? That kid talks as often as Demyx thinks!" She snickered at her own joke. "Why are you so interested in him, anyway? Does someone have a widdle cwush?" She glanced up from her nails to bore holes into her blonde companion, and when she eyed the flustered expression Naminé was wearing she threw her head back and laughed. "Gosh, this is too much for me."
The artist shook her head. "I...I'm afraid I don't understand."
The older of the two rolled her hazel-green eyes. "Of course you don't." She muttered. She lifted her boots off of the table and sauntered towards the younger blonde with an intimidating smirk playing across her thin lips. "Y'see, Naminé-" She enunciated her name in a sickly sweet voice, "-Roxas is a very special Nobody, just like you. He has powers, just like you."
She smaller blonde glanced upwards. "I have a power?"
Larxene chuckled darkly. "Sure you do - look at what you've done here," She pointed to a few of the drawings scattered around the table, "These images, these memories that aren't yours...surely they must mean something, right?" The way her voice sounded, even though it was sort of kind, made Naminé think she was up to something. Was she trying to help her?
"Um...I guess so…but...but what do they have to do with Roxas and I?"
"A lot, believe it or not." The older blonde smirked. "These memories - Sora's memories, actually - are related to the both of you. You are both connected to him, if you haven't figured that out already. I'm pretty sure you have - you look a little smarter than the other brat."
The artist frowned. "Y-yes, I sort of came to that conclusion…" She looked up again, "But can Roxas see these things too? Does he draw pictures of Sora's memories? What's my power, Larxene?" Her large blue eyes returned to her lap. "I'd really like to know...I feel like everyone's been keeping things from me."
"To be honest with you, kid, we are keeping things from you," The older of the two rolled her eyes, "And we're doing it for good reason, so it's best you don't question and just let the answers come to you. Besides, there's no rush! You're young - live a little!" When the younger blonde looked up in confusion Larxene sighed and raised a hand to her hair. "Maybe you're not as smart as I thought…"
"But…" Naminé played with her thin, ashen fingers, "I want to know...I want to know why I'm always seeing things. I want to know why I always...I always feel compelled to draw them out. I want to know why Roxas and I are connected. I want to know who Sora is, and who those two people I keep seeing him with are." Her voice rose a little in volume. "Do you know these things, Larxene? Do you know the answers to any of my questions?"
The older blonde looked a little stunned. Maybe she wasn't expecting such curiosity from someone so small, so timid, so fragile-looking. "You've been thinking too much for your own good, kid," Larxene narrowed her green stare, "And that isn't necessarily a good thing."
Frustration cackled inside of her. "But...don't I have the right to know these things? Is it really fair for you to hide information about me? I don't know anything about myself...yet all of you seem to." Naminé's eyes began to sting and she bit her lip to keep from crying. "Can't you at least give me one small detail…?"
The taller of the two scoffed. "Y'know, I'd be feeling sorry for you if I had the ability to feel at all." She grabbed Naminé's chair and forced it around so that the smaller blonde was facing her; the artist cowered and clamped her eyes shut as Larxene chuckled sinisterly. "Look at you-" Naminé opened her eyes and glanced down at herself, and the older blonde laughed again, "-have you ever given the thought as to why nobody ever lets you in on anything, or why you can't even leave this damn castle?"
The sniveling artist sniffled and shook her head. "N-no…not...not really..."
Larxene straightened up and placed her gloved hands on her hips. "Well, lemme map it out for you then: aside from drawing pictures, what else are you capable of?"
The older blonde laughed darkly. "Exactly. If I threw you out into a random world right now and told you to take out a giant Heartless, d'you think you'd be able to do it?" When Naminé shook her head Larxene bent over and caught the small girl's chin in between her index finger and thumb. "Your powers are only good for the indoors, squirt. It's best you keep it that way."
"B-but...but I don't...I-I don't even know w-what-" Larxene squeezed the artist's face a little harder, and she whimpered in pain. "L-Larx-"
The older of the two relinquished her grip, and Naminé immediately reached upwards to gingerly massage her cheeks. Larxene shook her head and scoffed. "Pathetic. I don't understand how someone with powers like yours can belong to someone so meek and useless."
The younger blonde sniffled. "But…" Was there even a point in asking anymore? Before she made up her mind Larxene was already halfway out the door. "W-wait-" The door slammed shut, and the artist flinched.
Was that why everyone's been keeping secrets from her? Did they think she wouldn't be able to handle the truth? Or was it because her abilities were so powerful, they were afraid of her?
And what of Roxas?
She was supposed to see him today. She wanted to see him today.
Still rubbing her chin, Naminé slowly rose from her chair and approached her door. She listened intently, and when she couldn't hear Larxene's boots clacking against the floor she slowly pulled her door open. She hastily made her way to that same hallway, and her shoulders sagged with disappointment when she found it to be empty - maybe she was too early. She really hoped she wasn't too late.
She dejectedly made her way back upstairs, but she made sure that wouldn't be her last attempt to see him. She would dally in that same hallway for at least ten minutes before giving up and going back upstairs. She would wait for an hour, and then she would roam out again. She continued doing this for the rest of the day; it was tiring, yes, but she knew it was going to be worth the risk once she finally got to see those blue eyes again.
This probably had to be her ninth attempt. The small blonde huffed as she rose from her seat, absently brushing off her white skirt, and moved to her door. She opened it a crack and took a quick glance around the hallway to make sure there was no one there, and when it was clear she shuffled out and made her way down to that same hallway.
She had a feeling this was going to be it this time. It had to be - if this was her ninth time that meant nine hours had passed since Larxene left, which meant that it was almost the end of the day. Roxas would've had to finish his mission by now.
When the hallway was empty again, her eyes began to sting. Was he not coming? Maybe he was frightened of her and decided to take a different route to his room. Maybe Axel advised him to avoid her as much as possible. Maybe Larxene told him about how pathetic and insignificant she was, and how she wasn't worth befriending.
Naminé choked on a sob as she watched the tears drip out of her large blue eyes, falling and splashing on the pearly white floor beneath her feet. Who would want to befriend someone like her anyway? What use would she be to anyone? She didn't even know who she was - why would anyone else like somebody who didn't know who they were?
The small blonde's head jerked at the mention of her name. She rubbed her eyes with her knuckles and turned around: Roxas was standing a few feet away from her, his brow scrunched with worry. "W-what...what's wrong?"
The artist felt her cheeks burning, and her eyes dropped to her sandals. "I-it's nothing, really…" Her voice wavered, and more tears trickled down her pallid cheeks. She could hear Roxas' boots clopping hesitantly towards her, and the heat in her cheeks grew worse. She could see the toes of his boots now, and a painful lump formed in her throat.
"Um…" She glanced upwards to see Roxas sheepishly rubbing the back of his head, "I...I want to say something, but I don't know what to say…"
At least he was being honest. She tried her best to smile through her tears. "It's okay...I…" She hesitated for a bit, wondering how to word the thoughts jumbling around in her head, "I was just having...a long day, that's all."
Her new friend gave her an apologetic smile. "Me too - I went on my second mission today and my head already feels like it's spinning."
The small artist tugged on her hair. "Are...are the other Organization members nice to you?" She asked timidly.
The blond rumpled his already unkempt hair and gave her a shy grin. "Sometimes...yes. I'm new, so they kind of push me around a little." He dropped his hand and his eyebrows raised a little in curiosity. "Are...are you new here? I've never seen you around…"
Footsteps were heard from the end of the hallway, and Naminé's eyes widened. "Oh no," She whispered, and began to back away but Roxas grabbed her wrist and shook his head vehemently. His gloved touch on her skin sent a strange feeling down her arm, and she felt her cheeks heat up again.
"Don't go," He pleaded silently, "I...I want to talk to you some more." His eyes were pointing downwards and he was frowning.
At least he was feeling the same way. Naminé thought fast; she pulled him down the opposite end of the hall. "We'll talk in my room, then." She looked over her shoulder and threw him a timid smile. He gaped at her for a few seconds, but he smiled back and let her pull him to wherever she was going to take him. He trusted her too easily, but she didn't take it in a bad way.
After twisting down hallways, riding platforms and avoiding wandering Organization members the blond twosome finally made it up to the topmost floor of the Castle That Never Was. Roxas was glancing around the stark white hallway in confusion, wondering why he had never even heard of this floor before.
"I wonder-" He started, but when Naminé turned around to place a finger against his mouth his eyes widened and his cheeks coloured.
She wanted to laugh at his flabbergasted expression, but she kept her resolve. She slowly opened the door to her room and stepped inside, pulling Roxas in with her. "We're here." She said softly, and his shoulders relaxed in relief.
"Hiding from everyone was even harder than the mission I went on today." He chuckled and mussed up his hair. He looked around the room, his eyes wide in slight surprise. "This room is all white too…" He murmured to himself.
The smaller blonde shrugged her skinny shoulders and made her way towards the long table. "I don't know why it's like that," She replied quietly as she sat down at her usual chair, "Everything they've ever given me was white." She glanced at his black cloak and frowned; maybe all of this whiteness was trying to tell her something…
Roxas hesitantly approached the table, his eyes wandering around the different pieces of paper strewn across the smooth surface. His eyebrows raised inquisitively when he eyed the drawing of him, and he reached for it. Naminé's cheeks burned even more as her blond companion gingerly picked up the drawing in his gloved hands, and when his brow scrunched together to examine it properly a large lump grew in her throat.
What was he thinking? Why did he look like that?
Did he not like it? Did he find it strange how there was a drawing of him in her room?
After what seemed like years later his face finally relaxed and he returned the drawing to her, smiling widely. "You're pretty good," He chuckled shyly and ruffled his gold-spun spikes, "All of your drawings are good, actually." He sifted through the different pieces of paper. A few minutes later his frown returned. "You...you don't have a place to put them, or something? Nothing to hold them together?"
The petite artist shook her head; she was still holding her drawing. "N-no...they...t-they just give me these pieces of paper, and-" She nodded towards the box of crayons, "-those to draw with."
"Hm," Roxas scrutinized the stubby sticks of wax, "They're getting really short."
She tugged on her hair. "I-I know…" She watched him pull up a chair. "S-so...what kind of mission did you do today?"
The Key of Destiny shrugged. "It wasn't anything special. Marluxia was just teaching me how to fight and stuff, much like yesterday with Axel," He pulled off his gloves and ran his fingers through his hair; he seemed to have developed a habit of doing that. "I wonder why they're making me do all of this?"
The blonde gave him a contrite smile. "I ask myself the same question." She gestured towards her drawings. "Marluxia and Larxene...they come every morning and watch me draw things. They never tell me why they come, though...and they never told me why I even draw in the first place. I have a feeling they do know…" She was pulling on her hair again, "But they just won't tell me."
"That doesn't seem very fair," Roxas frowned, "You...you have the right to know those things, don't you? They shouldn't be hiding things about yourself from...from you, if that makes any sense."
Naminé smiled; he was sincere, at least. "Yes, I understand what you're trying to say. T-thank you for being understanding."
The boy shrugged again. "No problem." He stood up and stretched his arms. "Anyway, I better get going. I have another training mission tomorrow, so I need my rest."
She stood up as well and led him to the door. The thought of him leaving left a heavy, almost sinking feeling in her chest and it was sort of difficult to breathe. She ignored it, however, when she turned the doorknob and smiled. "I hope I'll see you again soon."
He smiled back and stepped halfway out of her room. "I'll come back tomorrow," He assured her, "I promise." He waved before dashing away, and when Naminé no longer saw him from the end of the hallway the sinking feeling grew worse.
She hated not knowing what she was feeling; it was a frightening experience for her whenever she felt something unfamiliar. That whole embarrassment incident with Axel was one thing, but this was something else - this was almost painful. Why was she hurting? She could feel a pulling sensation in the middle of her chest, but at the same time she felt so empty, so hollow.
Sighing, she made her way back to her table to fix things up. She wished she had someone to talk to about this. Being new to her own emotions was intimidating.
At least she was talking to Roxas now, though, and he even said he'd be back tomorrow! A tiny smile crept onto the artist's face as she stacked her drawings up against the box of crayons; maybe that meant she wouldn't have to feel so alone anymore. She finally had someone she could relate to, someone who was just as confused and curious as her. Maybe they could find answers together. The thought made her optimistic, and she temporarily forgot about the empty sinking feeling that was slowly consuming her.
By the time Naminé crawled into bed the only thing she could think about was how her and Roxas spent time together today, and how she could relate to him when he was expressing how the Organization members pushed him around because he was new. He didn't seem so different from her, and didn't Larxene mention something about them having something in common?
"Roxas is a very special Nobody, just like you. He has powers, just like you."
What did Larxene mean by that? What powers was she talking about? Did they share the same powers? Were they really connected like she thought she was?
The little blonde groaned and pressed her face against her pillow. She seemed to have come up with more questions with every passing day, and they kept piling up since she couldn't find any answers. She hoped that now her and Roxas have begun talking she would be able to figure out some things - after all, it seemed that the Organization was trying very hard to keep them from seeing each other.
Hopefully she would get some answers soon.
The past few days, the other members have been showing me how to fight and do mission stuff. They also told me more about the Organization, and myself. I still don't really get what a "heart" is. But apparently, it's a vital piece of who I am - so I've decided to cooperate. If I collect hearts, I can complete Kingdom Hearts. Then I'll be whole.
Oh, I also got to see Naminé again, just like I said I would! When I saw her, though, she looked really out of it. I didn't know what to say, but she told me it wasn't a big deal so I ignored it - but at the same time I was still kind of worried. She took me to her room and I learned that she likes to draw stuff. She drew a picture of me - it was really detailed. It looks like she's in that room a lot, since she had a lot of pictures and all of her crayons were getting really short.
I promised her I'd come back tomorrow. I really want to see her again - I like talking to her. I feel strange when I talk to her...like I've been with her somewhere before, but I can't seem to remember when or where. I feel bad for not remembering, but she hasn't mentioned anything so maybe we haven't met before.
I wonder if Naminé knows what a heart is? Maybe I should ask her tomorrow.