First fic of the decade! I's starting in some awsome way the new year *happy dance of happy fanficker*
Title: Surrender (to His Void)
Fandom: Rockman Battle Network / EXE
Characters: Saito (Rockman); Darkloid!Blues. (F*ck yeah for Darkloid!Blues)
Rating: soft R? More like PG-15
Word Count: 2006 (I was so close to the 2010 words... maybe next year, with the 2011.)
Disclaimer: don't own, don't sue.
Warning: uhm... gayness like always... DB kind of touching a little too much... but nothing that could make you get some silly trauma about it... except the crappiness, of course.
Summary: Saito hoped that Blues was about to say some silly pink novel induced crap like "I want to take you with me" or something along those lines, which was never gonna happen. Never... "I want to make a data being out of you... I want to take you with me." ... or maybe not.
He woke up and the darkness surrounding makes the light that transfix through a window, one simple window, hurt his eyes mildly, but enough to make him rub them over and over and over.
Thinking back, he can't quite remember how did he got here. Saito remembers the building (some building, he still doesn't remember what building exactly) being girded by the VA, some screaming, Enzan trying to call Sci-Lab... Something like an explosion... a name... and that face.
"You're finally awake... I was starting to worry, you know?"
He rubs his eyes one last time, and his usual fixation with Blues' face begins, leaving him both terrified and in some kind of day dreaming state... sugar-coated day dreaming state. Which was only enlarged by Blues' hand slowly caressing his cheek. For a moment, Saito thought he was truly dreaming...
"I'm surprised. Falling in the claws of the enemy so easily? ... I thought you knew better, Saito."
... But, of course, some dreams can become nightmares.
The hand on caressing his cheek wanders, painfully slowly, passing through his neck, to stop playfully on his nape, massaging it, barely playing with his hair; causing Saito to voice something between a groan and a moan, his legs getting weak, even thought he was sitting on the floor... wait... he was sitting on the floor?
Saito didn't actually felt his legs there, spread on the cool floor. Maybe it was the slight contusion, or maybe the cold of the floor, or maybe Enzan was right and Netto's lack of eye for obvious details was starting to rub on him. Whatever reason could have been, he took his legs and hug them against his chest, barely touching; leaving a little more space for Blues to get close to him.
"Are you going to let me touch you like that? Don't you realize in what kind of mess you could get into?"
"You, too, could get into quite the mess... and yet you're touching me. Am I really responsible for this?" Saito was, maybe (because he truly didn't knew in what kind of mess he was getting into, until much later), forgetting on purpose that Blues, his Blues, was now a Darkloid... which happened thanks to his and his brother's intervention in some little (not so little) problem with Enzan and some weird girl in the middle, which we're totally not going to mention, because Saito is trying to block that memory from his mind, thankyouverymuch.
"Yes, you're probably not responsible... I would do this without any consent at all." And the hand on Saito's nape pressed there lightly, making the young boy bite his lips to shut a soft moan; while the other hand (which had no use at all until now) started walking, one finger after the other, on Saito's chest; barely, softly, such a damn teasing action...
That was a breaking point.
Saito didn't know how to act (or if he had to act in some special way at all) in such a situation. The worse part was the fact that this was the mix between his dream and his nightmare: the touch of Blues himself... and... the worst and most evil part of Blues himself. Together in one. Which could have been an attractive idea, in some way, if that wicked smile and dark aura didn't produce such a pain in his chest... he actually wished for that pain to be his illness taking effect, but it seemed that that wasn't going to happen that day.
There wasn't much for him to do, in such a situation, with one hand massaging his nape and the other starting to crawl under his clothes; he could simply keep it going (tempting, too damn tempting for him) and face the consequences of his actions (or Blues', or both of them... depending on how you look a it), or stop him right now before everything went out of control... more out of control.
He wanted to do the second, but the first seemed to won.
Won pretty easily, actually... especially when that hand, the one crawling under his t-shirt a moment ago, seemed to pinch his nipple. (Who would have known that Blues liked those kinds of things anyway?)
"Tell, Saito... Do you know why did I bring you here? Do you have any idea?" The question was voiced with a smirk, and the answer was a simple negation with the head, while the owner of said head tried not to make more... not-exactly-decent sounds come out of his mouth.
At that point, with one of Blues' hands here and the other there and the whole ambient just getting hotter and hotter and the whole Darkloid thing half forgotten, Saito hoped that Blues was about to say some silly pink novel induced crap like "I want to take you with me" or something along those lines, which was never gonna happen. Never...
"I want to make a data being out of you... I want to take you with me."
... Or maybe not.
"... What?!" And that "what" was pretty much proclaimed with some moan in between, not exactly in a normal pitched voice, and probably in the most embarrassing way Saito had ever said anything. But he obviously didn't (or couldn't) care.
One of Saito's hands, totally forgotten (since he was distracted a little too much with Blues' hands) until that moment, reached out, slowly and carefully enough to not break what seemed like an illusion, and touched Blues' cheek, cupped it softly and made Saito's pain ease just a little...
Because he was sure (sure as hell he was) that behind that aura of darkness, Blues was still there. And the fact that he was touching him (and the other way around too, but that didn't make such an impact on him for some reason) was more than enough to ease all the pains he ever had.
"You may not know this, but Blues, the original Blues could we say, always had some... void in his soul. He was, emotionally speaking, incomplete." Saito knew that... or at least, he thought about that. The cool and reserved exterior that he had once see on Blues (the first time they met) had always make him think about the navi's feelings. "But you, Saito... you're... you're the one capable of filling that void." Please insert some (more) blush on Saito's cheeks after that phrase. "And, since I am Blues, I cannot help myself to feel any other thing than what he originally felt..."
The darkloid's face just started to get closer, and closer, and closer (dude, personal space, you're invading it... not that I care); until his nose and Saito's were almost touching... almost.
"What I want to say is..." The darkloid sighed and, for a moment, Saito didn't know if this was the one that held him captive or the actual, real, Blues. "Saito, I love you."
If someone got to ask Saito about this (after lots of reversed psychology, tricks, and things alike to make him talk about the episode at all) he would swear, over his own life, that he felt his heart stop for at least a minute, and he was sure as hell that he was going to have an attack.
"You... he... both of you... love... me?" And he was afraid. Really afraid, completely terrified, while stretching his arms, taking the damn helmet (and shades) slowly, and yet so very desperate that Saito may have not be able to recognize himself in that very scene.
He knew, by Enzan's comments, that Blues had light blue, somewhat grey-ish eyes... something alike a siberian wolf's eyes. And his imagination made them even more mesmerizing that they probably were. Being this close to Blues, this close to fulfill his wildest dreams, he could only hope those eyes were what he desired for.
He was, obviously but not completely, disappointed. Even though those weren't the cold grey eyes he was dreaming about, those, full of expression, golden eyes were beautiful enough to take his breath away, looking perfect on Blues' features.
"Yes... I do love you, Saito." The darkloid moved again, still in a slow pace, resting his head on Saito's shoulder, his breath making the boy stiffen. "You may never understand how much I do."
And the next thing Saito felt was a lick on his neck, followed by a light bite; and the hands moving again, touching him everywhere, under his clothes, making him gasp and moan; Blues' name was like a chanting on his lips, repeated over and over and over again, until he couldn't say it anymore.
It was his heaven. That was Saito's heaven. The touch of Blues, his Blues, the navi that he thought would never touch him or even feel like he did, was the ultimate desire of his soul. It was pure, complete, bliss.
Another lick (how many did Saito felt during those long minutes, no one would never know) and the darkloid ceased the movement of his hands, facing Saito once again, looking at those delicate, alabaster white, features and the delicious blush that decorated them.
"Saito... Would you come with me to the cyber world?" It was tempting, more than just tempting. And Saito wanted to, he really had the intention to leave everything behind and follow the love of his life.
But he couldn't deny the obvious.
"... No. I'm sorry, but I won't go with you."
"What?!" And that wasn't a "You wouldn't dare" kind of "what", it was more like a "Why would you do something like that to me" kind of "what".
"It wouldn't be fair on me, on Blues... and it wouldn't be fair on you. I can't love you like a love Blues... and even though I would go with you... I don't want a replacement for my own void. I want the real one. I'm sorry... but I just can't."
"You do realize that if you do that, I'm going to come back and seek for you until you accept, right?" Something between a smirk and a smile on that handsome face, and Saito couldn't be happier.
"Fair enough... Until Blues gets back, or you actually get me."
"I thought you didn't want a replacement."
"I don't want a replacement for my feelings... but you're not a replacement yourself. You're just... the darkest part of the one I love."
"Taking you here and all... it was a pretty damn hard job. You know that?"
"I can imagine it was."
"If I'm going to the cyber world empty handed, at least I want a consolation prize."
And the rest of what could have been a protest disappeared, with Blues lips touching Saito's, in such a desperate and yet gently way, Saito thought it was an apology from Blues' (the real Blues) behalf more than a consolation prize.
"I'll see you again, Saito."
The next thing Saito knows is that Blues is disappearing in some kind of pixel explosion (along with his helmet, forgotten a long time ago), and then screaming and light, such a strong light he has to close his eyes; his twin's body against his, the pain in his chest coming back, and the world becoming black.
Something like three hours later he would woke up in the hospital, everybody asking questions, and no one giving him answers, except for the medics and nurses, who assured him that he was pretty much fine (as fine as someone could be after a heart attack, mind you).
And after reviving every touch he felt and every word he heard, Saito decided one simple thing. It didn't matter how tempting the idea was, and it didn't matter how much of Blues that darkloid was... he wasn't going to surrender to his request.
He wasn't going to surrender to his own weakness, and do something he could regret (and make Blues regret too) for the rest of his life.
He wasn't going to surrender to the need of filling his void.
Author Notes: HELL F*CKING YEAH, DB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... *coughs* Uhm... what can I say about this...? DB is less evil that in the original script, Saito is much more ukeus(?), and using "Blues" when is obviously DB in the narration happened because: a)this is is mostly made with Saito's point of view and b)I actually got confused myself about when was Blues the one trying to say something and come out of the darkness (The whole, "Saito I love you" thing is totally Blues, even if DB does have somehow a piece, or portion, of Blues' actual feelings for Saito) and when was DB being a bastard, a somehow in love bastard, but bastard nonetheless. Because... well... Blues IS there, under the dark powers that created DB, and probably has some concience, but not enough power to kick the crap out of DB and take his body back... yet, the posibility of DB having feelings alike Blues', and Blues being able to... direct some of DB actions (in this case, not being a complete bastard and raping Saito right there... which was a very appealing thing to write, for someone evil as me) and even feelings is also quite big, so there are points (or at lest that what I see) where you can feel or see or find little embers of the original Blues in DB's actions... ok, I'll cut the crap, now. *roll eyes like there's not tomorrow*
Also the only thing I was thinking about, while writing the... uhm... DB-not-really-but-quite-like-molesting-Saito scene, was Rockman's original japanese voice actor saying Buruusu over and over and over and over... it was both awsome and creppy!
About DB's golden eyes... well... there's supposed to be two kind of colours (eye colours) that are associated (almost always) with evilness: red and yellow-ish/golden. Since Darkloid!Rockman has red eyes, and having DB with red eyes was too... obvious, I decided to use golden eyes for him to make it a little more original. (besides, a lot of fanartist actually give original Blues red eyes... so his darkloid having red eyes could be confusing)
... And now I want to do a multichapter sequel with what would happen if Saito said "Yes, yes I'll go with you, you sexy, sexy darkloid!"... or something along those lines... it would be high rated... like... really high rated... you know... lemony and stuff... *does little script* ;3