A/N: Okay folks - add a lemon and apparently I become quite verbose. Be kind - it's my first time :-)


Chapter 6 – I got the b.l.u.e.s.

6/30/2002, 21:30 – EPOV

"Jesus Christ, Carlisle, how many times do we have to go over this? I'm in for 8 more years - unless you feel like paying the military back my med school tuition, book fees, and room & board? I know I sure as hell don't have the money and neither do you," I yelled. I had known it was a bad idea to come here, but couldn't resist one last trip home before leaving for Afghanistan. My internship at the Naval Hospital in Virginia was complete and I was scheduled to ship out tomorrow. Carlisle and I were in the kitchen of his new house, cleaning up after dinner. We were having the same argument we've been having for the past 2 years.

"I just can't understand why you did this. There are other scholarships out there, student loans even – we could have waited on buying this house. Sometimes you just don't think Edward! Are you just going to push aside your personal life for the next 8 years, because I hate to tell you, you can't be gay and in the military," Carlisle argued.

"They call it 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' for a reason. As long as I keep my mouth shut, I'll be fine. It's worked so far. Why can't you just support me on this?" I asked, frustrated to no end.

"Because, I don't think you understand what it will be like for you. It's like going back into the closet all over again. Why would you do that to yourself?" he questioned with a shake of his head. "I've seen the change in you just during your internship. I'm terrified of what you will be like when you get out, especially since you will have essentially pushed your own wants and needs aside for 8 years!"

"I did what I needed to do and I'm fine with it. If you can't or won't support me then so be it," I shot back, throwing the dish towel onto the counter. "I'm leaving."

"Edward! Carlisle! Stop this right now. It's your last night here Edward, stay. Don't say goodbye like this!" cried Esme from the doorway, wringing her hands.

I walked over to where Esme stood, gathered her up in a hug, and whispered into her ear, "I can't do this tonight. I need to go, but know that I love you and I'll miss you all. I'll write you and Carlisle when I get there. Give Alice a hug for me." I released her from my embrace, placed a kiss on her forehead, and grabbed my duffle from the foyer. Not looking back, even as Carlisle called my name desperately from behind me, I walked out the door to my rental car. I threw the bag in the back seat, started the engine, and drove off into the night.

06/30/2002, 22:45

I drove around Lincoln Park in a total haze for nearly an hour. My flight to Afghanistan didn't leave until 9:30 the next morning and I had planned to stay at Carlisle and Esme's. Heaving a sigh, I looked around for a cheap hotel to crash at for the night. Turning onto North Halstead, I saw no hotels, but did see a sign for a bar. Fuck it, I thought. I had only one evening of freedom left; I might as well have a drink or six before finding a place to sleep. I pulled into the parking lot across from the bar, locked my duffle in the trunk, and crossed the street.

The neon sign near the bar read b.l.u.e.s. Perfect, just perfect. I felt like sulking and this seemed to be a great place to do it. I pulled open the door and was immediately overwhelmed by the gritty sounds of Chicago style blues. I looked for a seat and found a two top near the back of the bar. Making my way towards the table, I scanned the small crowd. It was fairly slow for a Sunday night. I pulled out the chair and sat down, waiting for a server to find his or her way to my location.

A few minutes later, a voice with a slow Southern accent drawled, "Welcome to b.l.u.e.s., what can I get for you tonight?"

"A double scotch on the rocks," I replied, not bothering to look up at the man, focusing on the band instead.

"Comin' right up," he said. "I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

I glanced up only to see the back of the man as he walked off towards the bar. From my vantage point, I could see he was nearly as tall as me, with blond, curly hair and a lanky build. He moved with a certain grace that you often didn't see in men. I refocused my attention on the singer on the stage, who was lamenting the loss of his paycheck and oddly enough, his dog. Excellent – a fitting soundtrack to my mood.

Barely five minutes had passed when the server returned with my drink. "Here you go - one double scotch on the rocks. Are you wantin' to start a tab or pay as you go?" he asked. As he leaned in to set my drink down, I caught his scent, a strange mix of sandalwood, oranges, and vanilla. He straightened up, looking at me expectantly. As my eyes locked onto his, it was if someone had sent a jolt of electricity down my spine. His eyes were a deep blue, almost navy, and twinkled merrily. He looked like he'd just stepped out of the pages of a Marlboro ad. He had to be the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen and I was momentarily at a loss for words.

"Um, what?" I asked, totally blanking on what this deity had asked.

"Are you wantin' to start a tab or pay as you go? If you want to start a tab, I'll be needin' your credit card. If not, it's $7.00 for the drink," he repeated with a smile.

"I'll start a tab; just keep them coming," I responded, reaching for my wallet and pulling out my credit card. God knows I had plenty of money; the Navy not only paid for my schooling but also gave me a fairly decent paycheck. Having no family and no housing to pay for, I was able to bank most of it. Might as well splurge some before I left for hell. I handed the card over to the man and watched him walk back to the bar. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off of him and feeling my stare, he looked back at me from the bar. He raised an eyebrow, as if he was asking if I needed something. I shook my head once and turned back to the stage.

Of all nights, I run into what I would consider my dream man the day before I leave for another country for God knows how long. I took a long sip from my drink and sighed. I wouldn't have done anything even if I was staying. Of the two of us, Carlisle was more outgoing. He had met Esme while grocery shopping and he had her name, phone number, and plans for their first date within minutes. I had dated a few guys, mostly in undergrad, but had never been the initiator. I thought of myself mostly as a geek and was pretty much in shock when anyone made an advance. And of course, now that I was in the military, my life as a monk was now a foregone conclusion. I couldn't complain though, I had signed up for this and I was going to see it through – 8 years from now I could find someone to settle down with. For now, I needed to concentrate on getting through my residency and making it out of Afghanistan alive.

The cowboy/server returned with my card and I held up my drink. "I'll be ready for another when you need to come back this way for your other tables," I said. At least I could enjoy the view of this spectacular specimen. It would be sort of my own personal parting gift.

He winked and said, "Will do."

I sunk down in my chair, pulling the other chair closer to me so I could put up my feet. I wasn't going to go back to Carlisle and Esme's with my tail tucked between my legs, so I figured I might as well get comfortable. I was vacillating between anger and self-pity after the events of earlier this evening. Carlisle usually supported me in everything, to find that I didn't have his support in something as life altering as this was disappointing. I understood where he was coming from, but part of me was also thinking he should be thanking me for taking the pressure off of him and Esme. Carlisle had used the proceeds of the sale of our parent's house to pay for my undergrad education and his remaining 3 years in medical school, which allowed him and Esme to buy the house in Lincoln Park. If he was buried by student loans or paying for my education, he, Esme, and Alice would still be living in the two bedroom apartment they were renting. That was no place to raise a kid. I was just finishing my bachelor's when they announced they were pregnant with Alice and it took them six years to save up enough to buy this house. No way was I going to add to their burden.

Well, I'd just have to go on without their support. I was nervous and paranoid as hell though. I knew I wouldn't be on the front lines or seeing any action, but I would be dealing with the aftermath. My internship in Virginia hadn't really consisted of a lot of trauma cases; mostly rehab for folks coming back from the war and routine cardio and peds cases. I wasn't sure if I was ready for what I would be seeing. On top of that, I was worried that they would be able to tell I was gay right off the bat. I didn't think that I was flamboyant or anything, but what did I know? I felt like a regular guy – I watched sports, went to bars, and shot the shit as well as the rest of them; the only difference was I was attracted to men instead of women. I hadn't heard any rumors about my sexuality while in Virginia and could only hope that would remain the case when I shipped out.

I finished my drink and looked up to see that my very fine server was making his way back with another round. The singer had moved on to another tale of woe and I leaned back in my chair to enjoy the music.

"Here's another drink. Still doin' okay or can I get you something else?" asked Mr. Beautiful with a delicious half grin.

"I'm good for now, thanks," I replied, reaching for the new drink.

"Will anyone be joining you tonight?" he asked.

"Um, nope," I said. "I'm going to be here drowning my sorrows all by lonesome," I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that? I didn't catch that last bit," he asked, looking at me intently.

"Nothing – just muttering to myself," I responded.

"Well, you know what they say about talking to yourself…"

I laughed softly and said, "I don't think it's that bad yet."

"Good to know," he said with a wicked grin. "Look, I'm fixin' to be off for the night in about 10 minutes. Would you mind some company?" he asked nervously.

What? This God of creature wanted to hang out with me? I hesitated, trying to gather my thoughts and all that came out was "Um…"

"Oh, sorry - I just thought… No worries…" he said, looking sheepish and starting to back away from my table.

"Oh God, NO! Um, I mean yes, I wouldn't mind some company," I said shyly.

"Excellent – I'll be back in a jiffy and I'll bring another drink with me," he replied, smiling widely. He turned to walk back to the bar and I tried to make sense of what just happened. He was going to come back and sit with me? What in the hell are you thinking Cullen? You have to leave for fucking Afghanistan in the morning. This is no time to be striking up conversations with beautiful strangers.

Approximately 10 minutes later, superfine server man was walking back to my table, holding a soda in one hand and another scotch for me in the other. He placed the glasses on the table, and as I made to move my feet from the chair, he waved me off. "You look comfortable; I'll just grab a chair from one of the other tables."

He pulled a chair from the empty table next to mine and sat down on my left. He picked up his soda and took a long sip. "Thank God, I needed that. So, the name's Jasper…" he said, wiping his right hand off on his jeans and holding it out for me to shake.

"Edward," I replied, taking his hand in mine and probably holding onto it for a bit longer than necessary.

"Edward, huh? I wouldn't have figured you for an Edward," he said with a smirk.

"Really? I can't say that my first thought would have been Jasper, either," I said defensively.

Smiling crookedly, he remarked, "Don't get me wrong, I like Edward. Mine's a family name – could have been worse, I suppose. I could have been named after my Uncle Cletus."

"Oh my God," I laughed heartily, "You're right, Jasper is definitely the lesser of two evils!"

"I haven't seen you around here before, you new in town or just visitin'?" he asked.

"No, I'm originally from Chicago – actually Naperville – but was here visiting my brother in Lincoln Park. I've been living in Virginia for the past two years," I replied.

"Virginia? You work out there or somethin'?" he inquired.

"I was doing my internship. Now I'm getting ready to start my residency program," I said.

"A doctor, huh? Fancy that. You don't look old enough to be a doctor," Jasper remarked.

"I'm 26, I finished my undergrad early. You don't look old enough to be serving drinks," I shot back.

"I'm old enough to serve drinks, just not drink them. Liquor law says you have to be eighteen to serve, twenty-one to drink em'," he said, toasting me with his soda glass.

Of course, I thought to myself. I would find the only amazingly gorgeous, 18-year-old in the entire place. "So, why are you hanging out with an old man like me and not your friends or girlfriend? The night is still young," I asked.

"Well, I have school in the morning – I'm attendin' the police academy. I just moved here a few weeks ago from Texas with my twin sister and haven't really had any time to make a lot of friends yet. And no boyfriend, either," Jasper responded with a wink.

Shit! Was he coming on to me? Did he think I was gay? I was screwed – if this eighteen year old could tell I was gay, how was I going to hide it from my colleagues and superior officers? My expression must have scared him off, because the next thing I knew, Jasper was grabbing his drink and standing up.

"Sorry, I guess I read the signals wrong. I apologize if I bothered you…" he trailed off.

"No!" I exclaimed loudly, garnering looks from the tables around us. "Please sit back down," I said in a quieter voice. "It's not that, I just…"

"You just what?" he asked.

"I just can't … look, I'm in the military," I explained in a low tone of voice.

"Oh, shit. Sorry – listen, why don't we go somewhere a little more private then? I'd like to get to know you a little more and my apartment is right across the street. I room with my twin, but she's staying at her boyfriend's place tonight. We can talk without being interrupted," he noted, with a hopeful expression on his face.

Now what? I really, really wanted to go with him, but what was the point? He was 8 years younger than me – that was quite a difference. Plus, I would never be able to see him again after tonight. On the other hand, there was some sort of energy between the two of us that I didn't want to disregard. I hadn't been this attracted to someone in my entire life.

"If you are sure, I'd love to," I said. I don't know which one of us was more surprised by my words, Jasper or me.

"Um, okay. Let me go settle your tab and we'll head out," he said with a nervous grin and made his way to the bar. I followed behind him and waited while he cashed me out with the bartender. I signed the credit card slip, leaving a $50.00 tip for Jasper, and handed it back to the bartender. "You boys have a good night," he said. "Be safe."

"Will do – Zac," Jasper said, "See you tomorrow."

06/30/2002, 23:35

"Jasper, are you sure about this?" I asked as we exited the bar. I wanted to give him another opportunity to back out, considering he didn't know me from Adam.

"You aren't a serial killer or anything, are you?" he joked, looking at me with a smirk on his face.

"I'm not, but I could be. You really shouldn't invite strangers back to your place," I cautioned.

"Look, I know that we don't really know each other, but I can tell you need someone to talk to and I'm interested in learning more about you, Edward. Besides, Zac knows that I left with you and if I don't show up for work tomorrow, he'll know whose description to give to the police," he replied with a laugh. "Now, are you comin' or what?"

"Yes," I replied, following him to the building across the street. The first floor seemed to be a music store. There were guitars and amps in the window display. There was a second entrance to the side of the building and I stood back as Jasper unlocked the door, entered the alarm code, and gestured for me to follow him up the stairs. As we reached the top of the staircase, he turned left and unlocked the door to his apartment.

"Home sweet home," he said, holding the door open for me. I stepped through the doorway and looked around at the apartment. Jasper waved his hand at the couch, "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you somethin' to drink? I have some beer if you are interested?"

"I'll take a beer, thank you," I replied. Looking around I noticed that Jasper's place was basically one big open space. There were dividers that separated the bedrooms from the living space, and a closed door that I assumed led to the bathroom. The living room and kitchen areas were adjacent and I watched as Jasper pulled two beers from the refrigerator. I could tell that Jasper's sister lived here as well from the feminine touches - throw rugs, framed photos, and plants were scattered around the space. "You have a lovely home."

"Thanks. My sister and I were lucky to find something that was close to both work and school. She attends the University of Chicago and works part-time at the bookstore there. Once we moved in I found out that b.l.u.e.s. was hiring servers; it has worked out perfectly," he replied, as he made his way back to the living room. Handing me one of the beers, he sat down on the opposite end of the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "So….you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Talk about what?" I evaded, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Whatever has you looking like your dog was run over and drowning your sorrows in double scotches on the rocks?" he shot back, not buying my bullshit for a second.

I sighed and said, "I told you earlier that I was here visiting my brother. We had a fight and basically, I left without saying goodbye to him. It's just we've been having the same argument the entire time I've been home and I'm tired of him not supporting me."

"What was the fight about?" he queried, looking concerned.

"I joined the Navy in medical school. They offered me a full scholarship, plus room and board, in exchange for completing my internship, residency, and four years of service at Navy hospitals. Carlisle, my brother, thinks I'm absolutely insane - that I'm basically throwing my life away for the next 8 years. But, I honestly couldn't see a better solution to paying for school. I didn't want to come out of school owing over $200,000 and Carlisle and his wife Esme have a 6-year-old daughter and just bought a new house. If they had had to pay for my education, they would never have been able to afford the house."

"How is that going to work though? If you are gay, and I'm assuming you are from the way you were checking out my ass earlier," he quipped with a cheeky grin, "isn't this going to be very difficult for you?"

"It's that whole 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' thing. During my internship, I pretty much kept to myself. I didn't date and threw myself into work. I figure I can do the same thing during my residency and no one will ever have to know that I'm gay. I'll be so busy with work that I won't have time for a relationship anyway," I replied, with a sad smile.

"True, but that's a hell of a sacrifice to make. No dates, no relationships, nothing for however long. I'm not sure I could do that," he offered. "I give you credit for doing it, I think it's great that you are doing this for your family and for our country, but I'm just not sure I could push away that side of myself for that long."

"If I'm being totally honest Jasper, I'm not sure how I'm going to do it either. But, I've always been a bit of a loner and even though I'm 26, I've never really had a serious relationship. I just threw myself into school and then work. Don't get me wrong, I've dated some, but I guess I haven't ever found that person that would make me second guess this choice," I explained, looking down at the floor. "Besides, it's not like guys are falling down over themselves to get to me. I'm pretty much a plain Jane."

"Are you shittin' me, Edward?" Jasper exclaimed with a look of confusion on his face.

"Huh?" I asked, completely confused by his reaction.

"Edward, you are absolutely, positively gorgeous. I nearly fell over when you walked into the bar tonight. Hell, half of the people in the room were eye fucking you. I didn't think I would even have a chance until I caught you checking me out," he said passionately. He reached over and grabbed my hand in his and squeezed it gently, "Edward, you are a beautiful man, inside and out."

I brought my eyes up from the floor to make contact with his enchanting navy blue eyes. I could see that he really meant what he was saying, even if I couldn't truly bring myself to believe it. Jasper's eyes talked, it was one of the things that I think drew me in. You could read everything he was thinking or feeling in those eyes and I felt myself drowning in them. I brought his hand up to my mouth and brushed my lips across his knuckles. "Thank you. I think you are beautiful as well," I said quietly.

The electricity in the room was tangible. I released his hand and Jasper moved to a kneeling position beside me on the couch. Placing his hand on the side of my face, he whispered, "Stay still, I just want to try somethin'." Slowly, he leaned in and placed his lips softly on mine and then made to move away. I placed my hand behind his neck and drew him in again; placing soft kisses on his cheek, his eyes, and then finally, his mouth. His lips were like heaven, and I couldn't resist taking the kiss deeper. I traced his bottom lip with my tongue and felt his lips part. I felt like my entire body was in flames and Jasper must have felt it too, because soon we were kissing hungrily – my tongue tangling with his in a war of passion.

Jasper shifted his position and straddled my lap. I groaned loudly as he pressed his arousal against my own. "God Edward, you taste so good," he said, a husky tone to his voice. I ran one of my hands down his back and placed the other in his soft hair. I felt his hands cup my face as he kissed me again, and I reached under the hem of his t-shirt, needing to feel his skin on my skin. He broke the kiss with a gasp and reached for my shirt, looking to me for permission. I nodded and he lifted the shirt over my head. I returned the gesture, removing his shirt as well and taking a long look at his beautiful body.

"Mmmm, Jasper, your body is amazing," I whispered as I ran my hands over his pecs and up over his shoulders. I placed soft kisses on his neck and then dragged my lips down to suck lightly on his collarbone. He tasted like the sweetest honey and I was drowning in his scent. I placed my hands on his taut ass and drew him closer to my erection, needing to feel the friction of his cock against mine. As I drew my lips lower and flicked a nipple with my tongue, Jasper began rocking his hips against mine, moaning my name. He ran his fingers through my hair and pulled me up for another long and languorous kiss. Too soon, he released my lips and leaned back.

"How about we take this to a more comfortable venue?" he asked, standing up from the couching and grabbing my hand.

"Are you sure? I don't want to do anything you don't want to do, Jasper," I said sincerely. I knew that if we kept going, I wouldn't be able to stop.

"Edward, I'm sure," he replied, pulling me up from the couch and leading me to one of the enclosed rooms. As we entered his bedroom, Jasper flicked on the light on his bedside table. "I want to see every inch of you," he murmured. "Take off your pants," he commanded, releasing his own belt and unzipping his jeans. He toed off his sneakers, removed his socks and jeans, and straightened back up, clad only in a pair of black boxer briefs. I stood there for a good minute or two, just drinking in his exquisite body. He wasn't overly muscular, but his muscles had definition. I shook myself out of my stupor and quickly removed everything but my own boxers. Jasper pulled back the comforter and sheet, and lay down on one side of the bed. Patting the space next to him, he arched an eyebrow at me and said, "Come and join me."

I walked around to the other side of the bed and got in. I moved until we were lying face to face, waiting for Jasper to make the next move. He leaned in and brought his lips to mine in yet another slow, but deep kiss. He placed his hands on my shoulder and pushed me gently until I was lying on my back, then began to trail kisses down my neck, my shoulder, and then my nipples. I moaned loudly, this man was sin incarnate; each touch of his lips increased my arousal almost to the point of pain. I looked down as his head moved lower, licking and sucking my abdominal muscles. He glanced up as I moaned again and with a wink, began to pull my boxers down. I lifted my hips to assist him in his quest and soon I lay completely exposed to him. "Oh Edward," he groaned, "You truly are beautiful." His eyes raked over my body and settled on my cock, which grew even harder under his gaze.

"You have me at a disadvantage, Jasper," I replied, eyeing his boxer briefs. "Do you think we can even the score?"

Jasper jumped off the bed, discarded his remaining piece of clothing, and crawled back over my body. I pulled him down to lay directly on top of me and took his lips in another hungry kiss. I didn't think I would ever get enough of the taste of him. As he settled his body on mine, his hard cock brushed against mine and I moaned again. "Mmmm, Jasper, you feel so good…"

He began to grind his dick against mine and the sensation was maddening. Our kisses became frenzied as we fought for dominance. Soon, too soon, he broke off and began to move down my body. He reached down with one hand and enclosed my cock in his large hand, running his thumb over the slit at the top to gather the pre-cum that had accumulated and using it to lubricate his strokes. "Jesus Christ," I exclaimed, thrusting my hips up as he stroked my dick.

"Can I taste you Edward?" he asked, eyeing my cock hungrily and then looking up at me from those under those long eye lashes.

"Fuck yes," I groaned and propped myself up on my elbows so that I could watch. Jasper spread my legs and then knelt down between them. His hand still stroking my cock, he leaned down and licked the tip, letting out a moan. "Mmmm, so sweet," he murmured and then I watched as his lips surrounded the head of my dick and he ran his tongue against the sensitive underside. "Unnhhh – Jasper – so good," I ground out, quickly becoming incoherent. It had been so long since I had felt anything other than my own hand and I was afraid I was going to come before he even really got going. He took my cock fully into his mouth then, almost to the hilt, and I threw my head back, growling from the feel of his lips and tongue around me. I plunged one of my hands into his hair, gently running my fingers through the curly locks as he began to bob up and down slowly, licking as he went down and sucking as he came up. "Fuck Jasper, I'm not going to last if you keep doing this…"

His pulled his mouth off of my cock with pop and whispered to me, "I don't care – I want you to come for me Edward. I want you to fill my mouth with your cum. I want to taste you." With that he resumed his actions in earnest and I began to cry out loudly. "Jasper, oh God – fuck! I'm….baby… I'm going to come …" I yelled as he took my cock in deeper than before and swallowed around the tip. I let go, shooting what felt like 6 years of cum down his throat. He took it all, and when I fell back to the bed in a heap of mush, I watched as he cleaned the remains of my pleasure with his tongue and sat up with a satisfied look on his face.

I pulled him up my body and brought him down for another deep kiss. Thrusting my tongue into his mouth, I could taste myself on him and groaned against his lips. I rolled, switching our positions so that Jasper was underneath me. Releasing his sweet mouth, I said, "That was fucking amazing, thank you."

"It was most definitely my pleasure," he replied, grinning up at me. I leaned back down and began brushing soft kisses on the underside of his jaw, down to crook of his neck and shoulder, and then lapped at his nipple. He moaned loudly as I gently bit down and then focused the same attention on the other side.

"It feels like you have a rather large problem that needs tending to," I murmured, pressing my reawakened arousal against his long, hard cock.

"Fuck, Edward," he hissed, grinding his dick against mine. I moved lower, licking his luscious six-pack and placing an open mouthed kiss on his hip. Taking his massive erection by the hand, I began stroking slowly while sucking his balls gently into my mouth. "Unnhhh, shit – that feels…" he trailed off. I glanced up at his gorgeous face to see him biting his lower lip and watching my movements intently.

"Do you like that Jasper?" I asked seductively, releasing him and licking up the underside of his dick. "Tell me what you want, baby. I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

"I want to feel you inside of me, Edward," he replied huskily, reaching down to tangle his hands into my hair while I continued my ministrations on his cock.

"Are you sure?" I asked, "I don't have anything with me."

He reached into the night stand drawer one-handed and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube. "I'm 100% sure," he replied, handing them to me.

I took the essentials from him and laid them by his hip. Crawling back up his body, I took his lips in a frenzied kiss, thrusting my tongue deep inside his mouth. Then, I moved to kneel between his spread legs, placing kisses on the back of his thighs as I pushed them up towards his chest, opening his ass for me. I reached out and grabbed the bottle of lube, flipping the lid, and squirted some around his hole. I gently eased one finger in, moving it in and out slowly, trying to find his pleasure spot. He thrust upwards as my finger entered, and groaned, "Fuck, that feels like heaven." He was tight with just one finger and as I felt him relax, I gently added a second – scissoring them to stretch him further. I watched his face closely for any signs of discomfort and noticed a nervous look on his face.

"Am I hurting you, Jasper? I can stop if you want me to," I questioned, concerned that I was causing him pain.

"Don't stop!" he exclaimed. "You feel amazin'- it's just …" he trailed off, looking at me with a timid expression on his face.

"Just what, Jasper?" repeating his query from earlier this evening.

"I've….Edward, um, I've only done this once before and you're awful big…so, please – just be gentle with me," he said hesitantly, looking away from me.

"Look at me Jasper," I commanded, waiting until those beautiful navy eyes made contact with mine before continuing. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do. If you want me to stop at anytime, just tell me and I will. I only want to bring you pleasure, not pain." I placed a kiss against the inside of his knee and resumed my actions, stretching him even further. Jasper relaxed again and I added a third and final finger, waiting for him to adjust to the additional intrusion. I leaned in and began placing wet kisses on his turgid cock while continuing the motion in his hole.

"Ooohh, fuck – Edward," he yelled, beginning to lift his hips in rhythm with my fingers' entry.

"Are you ready for me, baby?" I asked, leaning back and removing my fingers and reaching for the condom. Tearing open the wrapper, I rolled the condom over my hard length and poured more lube over the condom and around his hole.

"Fuck yes," he hissed, "Please, Edward, I need to feel you inside of me!"

I positioned my dick at his entrance and placing my hands on his hips, gently pushed my way in. I felt some resistance and whispered, "Relax, baby, I'll take care of you." I made my way past the tight ring of muscles at his entrance and slowly thrust deeper. Once I was fully seated within him, I held still, waiting for Jasper to make the next move. The feeling of being inside Jasper was more intense than I'd ever felt before, he was so warm and tight. It was killing me to hold this still, but I wanted his experience to be one of pleasure, not discomfort.

He let out a loud sigh and I felt his entire body relax around mine. "I'm okay, Edward – please, keep goin'," he whispered, clutching the bed sheets in his hands.

I started thrusting in and out slowly, focusing on Jasper's face, using my hands on his hips to guide him into a simple rhythm. A light sheen of sweat glistened across his body, and I leaned forward to lap at his nipples. Straightening back up, I requested in a husky voice, "Rub your cock for me while I fuck you, baby. I want to watch you."

His hand reached down to grab his cock and began stroking himself, matching the rhythm of our thrusts. "Fuck yes, Jasper. So beautiful…" I picked up my pace, unable to help myself. The feelings this man invoked in me were entirely overwhelming and I could feel my orgasm building. "I'm so close…" I moaned.

"Unnhhh , me too…" he gasped, placing his feet down flat on the bed and driving his body up against me as I plunged into him. The change in angle allowed me to hit Jasper's prostate and I watched as he began to fall apart around me. He drew his bottom lip in between his teeth for a second and then yelled, "Oh God, oh fuck – I'm coming, Edward, unnhhh."

As he came, the sight of his cum shooting onto his stomach and chest and the feeling as he tightened his anal muscles around my cock sent me over the edge. My orgasm roared through me like a freight train, every nerve ending in my body pulsing with bliss. What felt like eons later, I regained my senses and grasping the condom, disengaged from Jasper's body reluctantly. I discarded the used condom in the waste basket next to the bed and collapsed with my head on his stomach, not even caring about the mess. Breathing like I had just ran the Boston Marathon, I gasped out, "Holy fucking shit, Jasper."

I felt his hands tangle into my damp hair, stroking gently, and he chuckled softly, "Holy fuckin' shit is right, Edward. That was, hands down, the best sex of my entire life."

"For me too, Jasper. I've never felt like that before…" I murmured, rubbing gentle circles on his hip with my thumb. After a few moments of lying in blissful quiet, waiting for our hearts to return to a normal rhythm, I pushed myself up.

"Where are you goin'…" he mumbled.

"I'm just running to the bathroom," I reassured. Leaving the sanctuary of Jasper's bedroom, I quickly found the bathroom and turned on the hot water tap. I relieved myself and then looked in the cupboard under the sink for a washcloth. Finding it, I held it under the tap until it was thoroughly soaked and then wringed out the excess water. After washing my hands, I turned off the tap and made my way back to Jasper.

As I entered the room I found him stretched flat on his back and out cold. Sitting down next to him, I gently began to clean him up. I got up to return the washcloth back to the hamper in the bathroom. When I came back into the room, he rolled onto his side and murmured sleepily, "Stay, please?"

"For a while…" I replied softly. I gathered up my clothes and pulled my cell phone from the pocket of my jeans. Noting that it was after 1:00 a.m., I set the alarm for four. I flicked the switch on the lamp on the nightstand and crawled into the bed with Jasper, pulling him so that his back was against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him. With a quiet sigh, he relaxed against my body and fell into a deep slumber. I placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head and felt myself drift off as well.

07/01/2002, 05:00

The vibration of my cell phone alarm woke me from the first truly deep sleep I'd had in years. I reached under the pillow to grab the phone before it woke Jasper, who was still blissfully asleep. I pulled away from his warm body and got out of the bed. It took everything I had to leave the paradise of this room but I knew that I had a flight to catch. Not wanting to wake Jasper, I quietly picked up my clothes and shoes and made my way to the bathroom. After taking care of my needs, I dressed quickly and walked out to the living room. I didn't want to leave and for once, I truly understood what Carlisle was trying to tell me. I had finally made a deep connection with someone, only to have to disappear to another country and pretend to be someone I'm not.

Last night was honestly the best night of my life so far, but unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. I couldn't wake him up or I'd never leave, so I made my way into the kitchen looking for a piece of paper and a pen. Finding it in the drawer next to the refrigerator, I quickly penned a note to the amazing man in the next room.

Dearest Jasper,

Thank you for an amazing night. I wish that I could stay and see where this could take us, but fate is not on our side. I ship out to Afghanistan today and am obligated to the Navy for the next 8 years. Your care and compassion has given me the courage to face the next phase of my life head on and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Best of luck as you complete your training at the police academy. Please be safe and take care of yourself – no letting strangers into your house late at night! I wish you nothing but the best…

Yours,

Edward

I folded the note in half, scrawled his name across the front, and placed it on the refrigerator with a magnet. Hopefully he would find it when he woke up later. Taking one last glance around the apartment, I sighed heavily and let myself out the front door. I walked out of the building and down the street to my rental car. I pulled out of the parking lot without looking back at Jasper's building. I knew one glance in the rearview mirror would ruin my resolve. I had to forget that last night ever happened, completely erase Jasper from my memory, or I would never make it through the next 8 years. Wiping away the tears that streamed down my face, I steeled myself for the next chapter of my life.


A/N: As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated...