Sex for Science

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Wish I did. And hate that my life has been like a serious glitch in the Matrix all week. God, things have to get better, right? .................right? OH C'MON! I even cut down on my thoughts of Jacob/Taylor!

"So we're all agreed on the new patrolling schedules for the next couple of weeks, right?" Jacob asks with a tired sigh. He never wanted to be Alpha, he never wanted a pack but that's what he got and this is exactly why he didn't want any of this. Quil is busy playing a DS (gift from Emmett), Embry is slouched over in his own little dream world (with a dumb grin – know where those thoughts are), Seth, thank God for Seth, is ever the good little puppy hanging on to his Alpha's every word as if it's gold, and Leah…well…at least she's not complaining – yet. But she's sitting leaning against Quil watching him play the game. Well at the least everybody's getting along better. "This means I don't want any last minute changes. We have these meetings for a reason." Jacob says glaring at Quil the main and only culprit.

Leah looks up hearing Jacob's tone and some how nudges Quil. She's been silently coaching him through his game and as the two make eye contact he looks up at Jacob with a smile. Embry, too, is now suddenly paying attention. "So we're done here?" Quil asks with an expectant smile.

"Can anyone," Jacob says with a groan hating the fact that in a minute he's going to sound like a teacher, "except Seth tell me what I said?" Jacob asks rubbing his face before turning to look at his three trouble 'students'. Seth's face falls at not being called on to answer while the other three exchange quick glances before turning back to Jacob. "Well?"

"I'm patrolling mornings. The three of you," Leah says pointing between Jacob, Embry and Seth "are rotating the afternoon shifts with Quil covering the evenings." Leah finishes with a smug grin. Jacob only rolls his eyes mildly pissed that despite her inattention she recalled their pack meeting. He's convinced that some how her brain retains information that she overhears without her actively listening. How else did she avoid summer school last year? "And no more last minute schedule changes for you either." Leah says looking at Quil.

"What?!" Quil asks looking shocked and hurt. "Last minute schedule changes? What are you talking about?"

"You do it all the time, man." Embry responds with a sigh.

"Do not. You, you don't know what you're talking about." Quil snaps while back shaking his head.

"Do to." Embry responds back.

"Alright, enough already." Jacob speaks up seeing how that would only continue on with them going back forth with 'do to' and 'do not'. "But, no one is switching with you." Jacob says with a stern look at Quil. "Is there anything else? Any complaints," Quil raises his hands. "Besides the 'no switching' thing?" Jacob says throwing a pillow at Quil. "Anything new going on?" Jacob asks at a loss of what to do with this group.

"Actually we do." Leah says sitting up and smiling at Embry as he straightens up to. Jacob's eyes narrow wondering where this could be going. "So 'Sex for Science' is off to a spectacular start." Leah says as Seth groans and Jacob looks between the two of them. "Show 'em what we've been doing." Leah says nudging Embry.

"Yes, please, Embry." Quil says putting his game away and turning to face both Leah and Embry. "Show us what you two have been working on." Quil says with a huge grin on his face.

"Oh gawd, please don't." Seth whimpers hiding his face in his hands.

"Dude, I ain't bragging with my girl here." Embry says wrapping an arm around Leah but mouthing 'I tell you later' as she shakes her head.

"Wait, you two are actually going to do that?" Jacob asks carefully watching the pair's reactions.

"It's all in the name of science, Jake." Embry adds grabbing his backpack and putting it in his lap and Leah starts rummaging through it in search of something.

"I swear if there are diagrams or pictures of you two having se," Seth retches. "Doing anything close to that I swear I'm going to throw up." Seth says as Jake scoots his chair away from the kid.

"Oh grow up. Sex is a healthy, normal function of life. How'd you get here without it?" Leah states matter-of-factly as Seth again looks as if he's going to vomit in his mouth.

"That's nasty, Seth." Quil says frowning at Seth turns back to Leah and Embry with a huge smile. "But getting back to you two crazy kids." Jacob sits back in his chair ready to hear what they have to say.

They can't be serious. She can't be serious. Jacob tells himself.

"So it turns out that our financial donations are off to a great start." Leah says nodding her head as Embry opens up a notebook to a folded page.

"We're already at $1762.13." Embry says as if he's reading from a ledger.

"Wait. What financial donations?" Jacob asks realizing that this whole thing is ridiculous and is going way too far. Who in their right mind would pay money for Leah and Embry to have sex?

"WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THE MONEY?" Seth cries out horrified most likely having the same thought.

"Well," Leah says holding up one finger. "Between the two of us we were able to scrape together $200 bucks." Leah says as Embry nods in agreement.

"Why do you need money to have sex?" Jacob asks confused.

"Duh, for the toys." Quil says shaking his head before Leah punches him. "Ow!"

"This is like some horrible nightmare." Seth says while laying himself out on the floor like he's waiting for death from above.

"Not for toys." Leah states while Embry nods his head quickly winking at Quil. "We figured we'd need a place to stay away from the vampires if they decide to prolong their stay."

"Place to raise the kid or kids." Embry says with a shrug.

"Where is the money coming from?" Jacob growls annoyed with this conversation.

"Okay, so your baby's daddy picked up on me and Embry's conversation about the idea."

"You're 'talking' about this while patrolling?" Jacob asks as both of them nod their heads not seeing the problem.

"So because he can't keep a single thought to himself he told the rest of the vamps." Leah says rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "Carlisle is very intrigued in our theory."

"He gave you money?" Seth exclaims sitting up looking very hurt and betrayed.

"No." Embry says with a hard frown. "He started lecturing us on the responsibilities and moral ramifications of our experiments."

"Meaning?" Jacob and Quil ask.

"He wants us to get married first." Embry says looking down at Leah.

Oh, hell no! Jacob screams.

"So we told him we'd think about it because with as much money as they'd give for a present. And selling whatever over-priced get up Alice bought I'm sure we'd, the kid or kids included, would be set for life." Leah says.

"But Emmett gave us 1000 bucks 'cuz he thinks it's an awesome idea of someone finally banging Leah." Embry says as Leah smiles smugly. "$500 just for the name of our experiment. And $50 'to play around with'." Embry says throwing up hand quotes.

"That's for the toys." Leah says nodding her head at Quil.

"Sweet. Can I go when you pick one out?" Quil asks as Seth finally having enough storms out of the house.

"Quil." Jacob growls.

"What? I've invested in this too."


"Yea, and the remaining 12.13 is from Quil." Embry says nodding his head as Quil smiles back at Jacob proudly.

"Yea, Emmett says there's another 450 if he comes 'toy shopping' with us." Leah says looking up as if she's doing math in her head.

"Plus, 5-Gs if we let him watch through a webcam." Embry adds in.

"Wow…you guys are off to a spectacular start." Quil says thinking of the cash at stake.

"No." Jacob says shaking his head.

"What?" Quil, Leah and Embry question.

"No, you're not doing this." Jacob says standing up. "Do your moms know about this?"

"Yea, right. Like I want to talk to my mom about my sex life." Embry says with a scoff.

"What sex life?!" Jacob demands angrily. This is bullshit! They can't just have sex just to see what will happen. That's ridiculous and irresponsible and, and wrong.

"Hey! I have a sex life." Embry states with a cocky smile.

"And why would I tell my mom?" Leah asks with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Exactly." Jacob says pointing at Leah. "If you don't feel right about discussing it with them then you shouldn't do it."

"Yea, right. That makes a whole lot of sense." Leah says rolling her eyes. "Besides all they'd say is 'Embry can't do it because if it fails then he should be banging some other…girl' or something like that." Leah says before waving her hand dismissively.

"Who knows?" Embry says shrugging his shoulders. "Two wolves gotta make a stronger wolf than one. I mean you have the wolf gene from two separate families and you phase the quickest." Embry says pointing at Jacob.

"Yea, but, but what about imprinting?" Jacob asks his stomach tightening as Leah narrows her eyes at him. He knows it's a low blow but desperate times calls for desperate measures. "And Embry leaves you alone to raise the kid by yourself?" Jacob narrows his eyes as Leah suddenly smiles up at him. That can't be good.

"I'm glad you asked, Jake. I'm glad you asked." Leah says crossing her arms and motioning for Jacob to sit down.

A/N: Alright so here goes an update.

So did you ever just have one of those weeks where you feel that the whole world or system is after you? Okay, so Tuesday I start working on Missing You. I got this great flow and then I get up to go talk to my mom about something and when I come back – my entire Windows has been switched upside down, the control panel is open, my speakers are on and the disc drive is open. Everything I wrote? Gone! All thanks to a busy-body 2-yr old. So…after a couple of deep breaths I tell my niece very calmly 'not to touch Addie's computer'. That was a wrap!

Then Wednesday. I'm at work and working on New Day. Got a great flow going but I'm going to put it in my Doc Mgr over some other story. When I save files at work it means then having to destroy all evidence on ever level. Which, I'm not supposed to do due to security reasons. And I'm not supposed to know IT's password (blah-blah-blah) security, ethics and all that jazz. So I'm just going to copy and paste. Well I copy but then ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! DANGER KEI! DANGER! My boss, not my super or anything, but my actually boss wants to have a chat which means I need to hurry up and clear my screen. So I minimize and wind up having so many screens open that navigating is confusing even me. And I can handle like 12 at once. But needless to say I had to shut that window down before she comes around to look at my screen and my dumbass saved the WRONG FILE!

Sighs. So, uh, my computer gets a virus at home. And my sis has had to wipe most of my files. I was so tired yesterday that I just nodded and grunted at every response until she tells me this morning. Yea, I deleted any new files from the last week. And I died a little on the inside.

But I know somewhere, somewhere at home in a notebook are my 2 stories. I write too much crap real late at night NOT to have something to inspire me again. -_-; But yea, this has been a week from Computer Matrix Hell. But…yea…do what you usually do. Either read and you're done. Read and alert and done. Read, review and be done. Read, review, alert, tag and you're done. Don't really care right now. I need some chocolate. ;_;