AN: Written in a couple minutes for someone on /jp/, while discussing the idea of a Dlanor spinoff series, and how occasionally Dlanor would break out with a DIE THE DEATH at random tiny things.
So there you go.
In a moment that seemed almost out of character, Dlanor shuffled her papers and sighed. Even she, the usually stoic Inquisitor of Heresy, could become bored at work.
While staring off into the space beyond the door next to her cubicle, Dlanor spied Cornelia walking through the hallway. She slid off of her chair, figuring that the inept member of the Eiserne Jungfrau could entertain her for a moment or two. However, as she reached the door to the hallway, Cornelia dropped her pile of papers, scattering them all over the floor.
Maybe it was best to leave this incompetent person for now. While Cornelia hurriedly started to pick up her paperwork, Dlanor quietly slipped out the door, walking off in the opposite direction. She was careful to avoid running into any of the higher-ups in the office, as she really should have been busy reading another 800 page document on Bernkastel's various foot-related abilities. Lady Lambdadelta was constantly submitting these files, and after a certain amount of time, they grew...exhausting, to say the least.
Dlanor was totally focused on making sure no person or thing saw her as she took her break from work. So when she saw a small, uninvited creature skitter across the tiled floor in front of her, she immediately locked in on it's movements.
Cockroaches? In her department? Such a thing was impossible. She, the wielder of the Red and Blue Keys, the incredible Head Inquisitor of Heresy, couldn't allow such...such filth to be in her presence.
Dlanor A. Knox did not like bugs. They pissed her off as much as that foolish Erika girl did.
The cockroach, sensing its impending demise, froze in the hallway. Dlanor smiled, a terrifying grin spreading across her face. She closed her eyes, readying her red sword...
...and when she opened them, the cockroach was nowhere to be seen.
She ran through the halls, no longer caring who saw her. She had both of her swords out, and they occasionally sliced through walls and other objects. Property damage came second to killing this damned bug in Dlanor's mind, though.
She turned a corner, running into the nearest bathroom. There the little bug sat, and Dlanor couldn't help but scream at it for eluding her for so long.
"DIE THE DEATH! SENTENCE TO DEATH! GREAT EQUALIZER IS THE DEATH!"
In the time it took for Dlanor to shout those words, the cockroach had run off into a stall. Dlanor didn't see which one...so, obviously, the only solution was to destroy them all until the cockroach was gone.
"DIE!" she screamed as she swung her sword down on the stall door. "DIE! DIE! DIE!" Slice. Slice Slice.
Within minutes, the bathroom was in ruins. Pipes had burst, and the room was starting to flood. Dlanor stood in the rising water, admiring her violent handiwork.
In the corner of her eye, she noticed something moving. Was it one of her superiors, here to berate her for destroying yet another bathroom?
On the crumbling wall to her left, a cockroach crawled up from the floor, climbing to eye level with Dlanor.
She smiled that horrifying grin once again, and raised her red sword once more.