Disclaimer: If I where Butch Hartman, I would own Fairly odd parents, and its characters, and a nicer house, but I'm not him, so I don't own anything.

Note: Yes I know most of you know who Tammy and Tommy are, but I put in a description for those of you who don't

Chapter One:

"TOMMY! TAMMY! WOULD YOU COME HERE FOR A MOMENT" the thirty year old Timmy Turner called from the hallway.

The sound of footsteps could be heard as Tommy, a raven haired kid with buck teeth and a weird crown shaped pink hat, and Tammy, a girl in a pink plaid skirt and glasses, rushed down the stairs to see what their dad found so important.

"Now kids," Timmy smiled, "It's the Elementary Parents Teacher Night tonight and at least one parent in every family has to attend. Since your mom is in Barcelona at for the week..."

Tammy stopped listening, she looked at her brother, who was also beginning to look worried. Tammy was good at maths, but it didn't take a genius to work out that Tammy+Tommy-Mom and Dad=

"Vicky Bot!!!" The twins shouted in unison as their father opened door to reveal a manically laughing robot that it was probably not safe to leave children with, nevertheless, Timmy did.

He smiled to himself as he got into his car, those kids must love him, they never wanted him to leave home.

-*-

The halls of Dimmsdale Elementary were a hubbub of chatter and muttering as Timmy entered. The teacher, who had until then been sitting moodily in a corner, grinned at the sight of the father and beckoned him over.

"Ah, you must be Mr Bitterroot." Timmy Turner said as he sat down at the table. It was almost impossible to recognize him as the miserable pink hatted 10 year old boy he had once been, everything about him reeked of confidence, and he smiled at the man who sat across the table from him. Mr Bitterroot had grey unhealthy skin, bad eyesight and an ear on his neck. His hair was combed back and he wore a tweed jacket, but neither of these really did much for his appearance. He reminded Timmy strongly of someone he used to know.

"Mr Turner," the teacher began, "you are no doubt aware that through the course of the year I have been assessing and grading your two children," he looked down at the names he had written on his hand before continuing "Tommy and Tammy using a series of random university grade pop quizzes created by my uncle. You will be glad to know that their combined average grade is an F." He grinned widely at this word.

"And what's so good about an F?" Timmy ground his teeth, he knew his children could do better than that, he had to start punishing things like this.

"Yes, but that's not why I wanted to see you Mr Turner. For you see, there have been a disturbing amount of incidents concerning your children..."

Okay, nothing actually happened in this chapter, but that's just the way I likes it. All will be revealed in the next chapter. How will Tommy and Tammy cope with Vicky Bot? Who is Mr Bitterroot? How do Cosmo and Wanda fit into all this? Will I ever stop talking? One of these questions will be answered in the next chapter.