Hey everyone, I'm back and trying my hand at a Harry potter fic .I appreciate criticism, but not people flat out telling me they hate it, ya get the point? A quick warning before you start, I've never really wrote anything like this so sorry if it turns out bad. Anyway enough of me blabbing on and on lets get to the writing.

Thoughts: italic

disclaimer: i don't own harry potter... if i did sirius and everyone else would be alive. but at least we have fanfiction. :)


It can be amazing how the people you want to notice something the most almost never do. Just like how amazing it was that nobody noticed how thin Harry always happened to be. Or how Dumbledore never even cared to know why he had to address Harry's first Hogwarts letter to a cupboard. never gave a second to think over why Harry might have to be living in a barred room with no food. No one would have ever thought that his or her said golden boy, the seeker, the chosen one, and the boy who lived had indeed become a victim.

A change however had came Harry's way almost three years ago now. It was not that big of a change and at first Harry had thought it did not really matter at all. It did however mean a lot to him now. And that change was a certain godfather by the name of Sirius Black. Sirius was the only one who had gave him the thought of ever getting to have a proper family. Only Sirius ever gave him the idea that he could have a summer away from the abusive dursleys. Even though it did never have the chance to happen so far.

Yes, Sirius was alive and didn't die as every one had thought he would have that cruel night in the department of mysteries. For a minute there, Harry had thought that Sirius would too. But it was a good thing that Harry had grown up being a fast thinker.

The seeker had seen bellatrix pointing her wand at Sirius when he wasn't looking. So he jumped as quickly as he could and knocked Sirius to the ground once her spell had been fired. Leaving it to hit the veil and go though but leaving Sirius unharmed.

Harry was so enraged that she would even think of killing his only family left so he chased after her. Harry didn't even take his chance to look back and see if Sirius was all right. He just ran and ran until she stopped and it ended up she had lead him straight to Voldemorts grasp. In all the buzz of Harry's duel in his mind with he who should not be named and him hearing the prophecy, he never got the chance to see Sirius after that night.

Which landed right in the spot he was now. Alone in his Hogwarts dorm room packing by himself in the cold silence while everyone else he knew were at the end of the year great feast. Harry really didn't think he had the energy to eat right now, he did not even now how he was standing up to pack. For you see he had been at bit down lately. The boy who lived had sent Sirius Black, his godfather, letter after letter with Hedwig and many other owls that were available. But no of them were answered, sometimes Harry's letter would be returned to him not even looking like it was looked at properly. Other times Harry would get Hedwig back with no letter at all and since Sirius had gave him a promise to give him a different homeā€¦. Well Harry was purely confused.

It had always been a fear to Harry in the back of his mind. That one day Sirius would look at him or think of him and say "you're far more trouble than your worth". And Harry was very depressed in the thought that that day had finally come. He had never really talked to anyone about what went on when he stayed the summer at number four privet drive. He guessed that it was all because some of the wizarding world had come to look up to him and the other half had come to think anything he talked about was complete rubbish now and days. But with Sirius he thought that maybe he finally could open up a bit. He had thought he found someone who didn't just see his scar or James when they looked at him. Right now though in the deathly silence Harry was beginning to hope that it was actually true.

Therefore, that was that Harry had decided that he would send his last letter tonight and he would finally beg Sirius to tell him what he did wrong. That's all he really wanted was a reason, something to tell him why his godfather was avoiding him to such an extent. Was it because Sirius had finally realized Harry only looked like James?

Once he got his first letter returned untouched Harry potter had jumped to the conclusion that Sirius was being his usual over reacting self and was simply mad at Harry for either not leaving the battle as instructed or going in the first place. But as more and more of the letters were returned Harry had gotten worried.

It was not as if Harry had not tried contacting Sirius in other ways, he had opened the mirror package but Sirius never answered. Harry had even tried sending a letter to Remus to see if Sirius was staying with him. Nevertheless, before he could Dumbledore had told him to get some rest for now and demanded him not to contact the werewolf, making his second plan waste away. For a while Harry had came to his worst conclusion yet. That Sirius had been taken by death eaters or was back an Azkaban and had been given the kiss. That the fight had gotten him back into trouble. So he went and asked Dumbledore to visit grimmuald place. Just so he could see if Sirius was alive and well. Once he had explained his reasons the headmaster had firmly said no and told harry Sirius was all right and alive. The one thing though that bugged Harry most of all was that Dumbledore would not tell him how he knew.

It is what I deserve right? To at least now why Sirius began to act like aunt petunia.He thought to himself as he finally finished and sat himself down on his bed.

Eventually all his male friends in his dorm would return to get what they had to bring home. Moreover, chances were Seamus, Dean, Ron, or Neville would try to get him to talk again.

In a way, Harry had become jealous of them all. They all had great loving families to go home to. All Harry had was a godfather and an aunt and uncle that didn't want anything to do with him.

Of course, Harry knew he should be fortunate that his godfather was only acting like aunt petunia. You see Sirius and her both ignored harry all they could. However, the chosen one was very happy that Sirius hadn't become like uncle Vernon and taken to abusing him in every way but sexually.

Harry knew he couldn't take it if his abuse slipped into the wizarding world. Or more importantly slipped out to Sirius or Remus. Because apparently they already had enough of a reason to avoid him. And he refused to be thought of as weak or a charity case just because he was to scared to stand up to a muggle.