BEHOLD! A rather stupid oneshot. I don't own the 39 clues or the Nutty Professor!

Dan Is a Nut

"Hoi YA! Take that, zombies! Your skin looks like rotting cheese!" Dan Cahill was playing a ninja video game, shouting insults at the fake villains. Amy, his sister, sighed. He was so weird. There were numerous times where he showed his weirdness.

One year prior to previously stated incident:

"Gosh, Dan! Why do you need a fake rifle?" Amy asked, exasperated.

"Um, let's see.... 'CAUSE IT IS AWESOME!" Dan replied.

"What are you going to use it for? It's fake!"

"I'll keep it under my bed in case a burglar comes."

"And I repeat, IT'S FAKE."

"Well if it's dark, maybe the burglar will think it's real and flee. If he sees it's fake, I'll hit him over the head with it while he's laughing, knocking him out, and we can drag him to the police station."

"Oy vey." Amy sighed.


"Never mind. Fine, you can get it, but only because it is five dollars."

Two weeks prior to first incident:

"Dan, what are you doing?" Amy asked.

"I'm trying to capture a pet squirrel." Dan responded.


"Because I would be the only kid at school to have a pet squirrel. I hope it has rabies."

"How are you going to capture it?"

"Well, as you can see, I am dressed up as an acorn," indeed, he was. "And I have been trying to summon squirrels with a squirrel imitation. Hopefully I will have one by nightfall. I will call it, 'the Nutty Professor'."

"Good luck with that."

When Dan Was Five:"

"Dan, get away from that skunk."

"It's not a skunk, it's Saladin in disguise! Ew, what's that smell?"

Sorry if I pained you with this, I was just super bored and couldn't think of anything for Rich Kid's Nightmare. Whatever. Also, sorry for Dan's possible OOC-ness. :)