Author's Note: The Gin one got a warm reception, so I'll keep the ball rolling. XD
Original format, again, belongs solely to Theresa Green and is used with her permission (albeit very old permission).
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a new GRIMMJOW JEAGERJAQUES Furry Friend Figure, from the Hueco Mundo 'Happy Hollows' Collection. Your GRIMMJOW will provide several hundred years worth of entertainment and company, provided he's cared for well. It is suggested that you read through the following guide, to ensure protection of GRIMMJOW's warranty and reversion to his Menos Grande form in public.
Name: Grimmjow (also answers to 'here, kitty, kitty' and 'master')
Produced by Whim of Aizen Toys Ltd., Bad Guy Division; licensed by Hueco Mundo Playthings Inc.
-Allergy Information: product contains chewed-up hollows-
Your preassembled GRIMMJOW comes with:
- Inverse Hakama (shirt not included)
- One (1) voice-activated 'Pantera' sword
- Grooming kit, complete with makeup, hair gel, toothbrush, and Very-Important-Hollow Brand Toothpaste
- Three (3) containers of Super Bubble Liquid
The applications of this model are practically endless. A few helpful functions are listed here for your convenience:
- Arrancar Mode: GRIMMJOW is the fierce, 6th espada in the series, and will add a little 'oomph' to your parking place disputes and sibling bickery.
- House Pet: More intelligent and engaging than a regular housecat, but with little to no maintenance required! (See 'Care and Keeping')
- Bubble wand: simply douse your GRIMMJOW in a watery soap mixture, and blow through the ergonomically-designed hole in his tummy.
The following modes come pre-installed onto your GRIMMJOW:
Playground Bully (default)
Resurrecion Form (locked)
WARNING: Interactions with any other unit from the 'Bleach Buddies' collection will immediately send GRIMMJOW into Superiority Complex Mode, which could invite injuries. Supervise all group activities deftly, as the nature of this unit does not allow for it to 'play well with others'.
Playground Bully Mode makes GRIMMJOW all that he is: a snide, crude, lovingly sarcastic bundle of tiger fluff. When engaged, the unit will have a characteristic tendency to antisociality and develop a teenager-like defiance. Discipline methods are discussed on page 3.
PMS Mode can, despite it's name, be entered more than once monthly. Your GRIMMJOW will activate this setting when beaten in battle, or if ULQUIORRA units consume the Chinese food that GRIMMJOW left in the communal refrigerator with his name on it, dammit.
Resurrecion Form is a dangerous tendency for your GRIMMJOW to overload, and may only be activated in times of distress. Dealing with this phenomenon is detailed on page 3.
All 'Bleach Buddies' have the optional Slash Mode, but GRIMMJOW models are unique in that only KUROSAKI ICHIGO units who are actively bleeding and/or suffering can activate this passionate setting.
Relations With Other Units:
WARNING: Aizen and Friends models (Bad Guy Division) are not compatible in any way with the Good Guy Division models. Exposure to any units belonging to the Seireitei Squads or Court Guard Cuddlies could result in massive damage all involved units; these include the 'Ichigo and Ichigo Support Characters' series, and all members of the 'Vizard' line.
ADDITIONAL WARNING: As previously stated, GRIMMJOW models are not the social butterflies of this collection. Interaction with models outside of the ones specified could result in that model getting eaten.
AIZEN: Exposure to AIZEN will enrich the angst quality of your GRIMMJOW, driving him continuously to his pointless and badly-animated death.
TOUSEN: The 'Suzumushi Blade' carried by this model has a particular attraction to the arms of GRIMMJOW units, but is not usually provoked without the presence of an AIZEN model. Please use caution in situations where GRIMMJOW, AIZEN, and TOUSEN meet to avoid warranty voiding.
ICHIGO: See 'Disposal'
ORIHIME: Albeit rarely, reports of ORIHIMEs activating GRIMMJOW's Slash Mode have surfaced. For in-depth explanation, talk to your local GrimmyHime fan girl.
MOMO: Again, nobody likes Momo. Face it.
Using Pantera and 'Ressureccion Mode':
Unique to the Arrancar line is the optional 'Resurrecion' setting, a fun and interactive mode where the unit may shape shift, accumulate a great amount of strength, and lose all tolerance for filler characters or the DMV waiting line. To initiate Resureccion Mode, repeatedly prod your GRIMMJOW unit in the head or expose him to a HOLLOWFIED ICHIGO unit (can be purchased as add-on to original ICHIGO model). Once set in this mode, GRIMMJOW can be a powerful tool of persuasion, paper shredder, or home-demolition worker among other possibilities.
Care and Keeping:
Having feline tendencies, your GRIMMJOW is a neat and tidy creature who will not need to be reminded to wash himself (tongue replacements are recommended twice yearly). GRIMMJOW is easily kept on any brand of marketed cat food, but prefers something he can chase and play with before eating on occasion.
The nature of GRIMMJOW models guarantee a minimal amount of violence and disobedience, which may be precipated by grounding your GRIMMJOW in discipline from the moment he comes out of the box. With a little positive reinforcement, your GRIMMJOW will very often obey orders, and can even be litter-box trained.
Alas, the rudeness and sharp claws of this model may force you to consider disposing of it. Besides handing over your GRIMMJOW to a reputable GrimmyHime fan girl (see Unit Relations: Orihime), the traditional method for disposal is to purchase both KUROSAKI ICHIGO and KANAME TOUSEN units. Initiate arm-removal process (see in Unit Relations: Tousen), before locking GRIMMJOW and ICHIGO units in an easily-cleaned containment unit.
Q: Why does my GRIMMJOW unit prefer to sleep on top of the television or stretched across my laptop?
A: Your GRIMMJOW is seeking warmth. Purchasing the unit a sweater would be ideal, but turning up the thermostat would probably save your fingers from being bitten off.
Q: Since destroying an ICHIGO unit, my GRIMMJOW seems out of sorts. What's wrong?
A: Simple; your GRIMMJOW has violated the Canon Anime Plot Law. We suggest pressing the Refresh button for your particular reality, or playing the Bleach episode where GRIMMJOW gets pwned (not in dub, please).
Q: How do I get my GRIMMJOW to claw his scratching post, instead of the furniture?
A: Nail caps are available for special-order through our accessory catalogue. To half the problem until your order arrives, see 'Unit Interactions: Tousen'
Problem: GRIMMJOW is not responding to any disciplinary methods.
Solution: Have you tried Time-Outs?
Problem: GRIMMJOW refuses to sit in Time-Out.
Solution: Refer to Dr. Kurotsuchi Mayuri's self-help book, The Strong-Willed Underling.
Problem: GRIMMJOW is foaming at the mouth and staggering around, snapping at houseguests.
Solution: Your unit has rabies. The only option now is to shoot him.
With patience and regular dental care, your GRIMMJOW unit will chase feathers and kill small animals when not napping for a considerable while. GRIMMJOW's warranty is guaranteed for two months, after which you should just consider yourself lucky to be alive. Please see our website for more details.