Summary: Most people make resolutions at New Years. Rosalie Hale and Emmett Cullen wound up making something a little more serious. The problem? They're practically strangers, and no one can know that Emmett's the father. AU/AH, lemons, canon pairings.
Chapter One: Headaches and Hightailing It
AN: I own a wonderfully tacky hot pink leopard print scarf, but I don't own Twilight. That's Stephenie Meyer, dontchano?
My head hurts. I swear, God, if you get me out of this hell, I will never ever drink again.
Okay, that's a lie. That's probably why God isn't healing me. He totally knows I'm lying to him and he's pissed. I slammed my head down on the table. I didn't think that it would help, but if there was an effect, I wanted a cause. Except now my head hurt twice as much. Damn.
"You know, Rose, if you would just calm the fuck down for two seconds and actually form a loving relationship, we will never again have to have the conversation that we are about to have," Alice chirped, setting a cup of coffee down in front of me.
"Okay, okay, just stop yelling at me about it," I whined while my brain worked on unraveling what the hell she had just said.
"Rosalie, you're twenty-five. I shouldn't still be nursing you back to health every Sunday morning," Alice said sternly.
"You know, since you got married, you've been absolutely no fun," I grumbled. "Besides, it's Friday."
"So you drank early in the week," Alice said. "That doesn't change the principle."
"It was New Years," I defended.
"And what a way to start a year," she said, rolling her eyes. "A bunch of condom wrappers, dirty sheets, and the hangover from hell."
"I really don't need to hear about how you and Jasper spent New Years, Alice," I said. "But thanks, I'll try to remember to wash the guest room sheets."
"What?" Alice asked, her face scrunching up in confusion. "Why would you… Oh, Rosalie. Dammit."
"I'm not talking about me and Jasper. We didn't even stay here last night. Didn't you even notice what your room looks like?"
"My room was too bright because you opened the damned blinds. I couldn't see shit," I said. You'd think Alice had never been hungover, for all of the understanding she had of it.
"Well, you should look at it when you're feeling better. Who the hell did you hook up with, anyway? The room is trashed. I half expected the walls to cave in if I shut the door to hard," she said. My brain hurt. This wasn't making sense. I distinctly remember not hooking up last night. Well, actually, I distinctly remember doing shots with Jasper and Edward, dancing with… someone, kissing Bella at midnight to piss Edward off, running away from Edward, falling against the wall of my room hard, and then falling asleep sprawled across my bed. Alone.
That all adds up to no hookup.
Unless you count the tightness in my thighs and… other places. But really, I would have remembered if something good enough to cause that had happened.
"So what, you decided to see if condoms could produce good balloon animals, or something?" Alice asked when I told her this. "Because there's about five wrappers strewn across your room. I don't even want to know where the condoms ended up."
I sighed. Why must we do this every week? It was all well and good for her that she had found Jasper and is living happily ever after and all but come on. I'm not forty. I'm twenty-five.
Oh, God, I'm twenty-five. I'm twenty-five and alone. And, no matter what Alice says, apparently incapable of getting laid, even on a holiday which encourages people to get shitfaced and be irresponsible.
Happy New Year.
"Not go get dressed. You have work in an hour," Alice said, handing me my coffee and directing my up the stairs.
"I don't want to go to work! It's New Years Day!" I protested. It just didn't seem fair.
"People get hurt then, too," she pointed out. "And if you're not there, who will fill all the stat orders and prescriptions and such."
"The pharmacist?" I said. She rolled her eyes.
"Please, Rosalie. You know the pharmacist doesn't actually do anything."
I've been hit by a truck. That's the only possible explanation. My head feels like it's been split open and every muscle in my body hurts. What a great first morning in Forks. It's an omen. I shouldn't have moved here. I should pack up and leave right now.
And last night didn't make it any better. I have never hightailed it out of a girl's place so fast in my life.
My first night in Forks, and I may have gotten a girl pregnant. Oh Jesus Christ.
Did I bother to ask her name? I couldn't remember it if I did.
Did she ask mine? I don't think she did.
I could get out of this!
Man up, Em! You can't do that.
I can totally do that! As long as she doesn't remember who I am.
What? It's like, no harm no foul!
It's nothing like no harm no foul.
She may not even be pregnant! Just because a condom slips off doesn't automatically make a woman pregnant.
… Good point.
This is the last time I'm going to one of Jasper's friends parties.
Look at us, problem solving and brainstorming and shit.
I am totally not arguing with myself. Fuck. Today's going to be a bad day. In less than an hour, I have to be at the hospital, looking all cheerful and not hungover and shit, and scrubbing up for surgery. I am going to be cutting someone open in this condition.
I can't be thinking about this right now.
I pulled myself out of bed and, after a quick shower that did nothing to make me feel more ready for the day, made my way out to my car. Thank fucking god for scrubs. It's like wearing pajamas all day, and I do not exaggerate when I say that I could not deal with anything more than that today.
Did I remember to put on underwear?
I don't think I remembered to put on underwear.
By the time I had finally reached the hospital, my headache had increased tenfold. Why was the sun always brighter in the winter? We're further away from the sun, right? This shit doesn't make sense. Obviously the world is against me.
I got onto the elevator, thanking god that I was alone. I'm sure anyone who spent any time with me in a small space like this would know that the new surgeon was hungover on his first day.
But, since the world was against me, my hopes were dashed as a blonde woman, wearing the standard burgundy scrubs of the hospital pharmacy, stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the third floor.
Oh no. Oh fucking no. This wasn't happening.
She glanced at me for a second before turning her gaze back to the doors. What was more, it wasn't one of those awkward I-am-not-looking-at-you-and-you-should-know-that-I'm-not stares. She truly wasn't interested in the fact that I was there.
Oh yes. Oh fucking yes! She doesn't recognize me!
Not that there was anything wrong with her. In fact, if some time passes, and my suspicions are proven false, I may even be interested in her. Fuck, with the memories of last night, up until the point when everything went to hell, I would definitely be interested in her.
She got off of the elevator at the third floor and I watched her go, noticing that her stride seemed somehow off.
Good job, man. Truly. You fucked her so hard she can't even walk right.
She may be carrying your child right now.
Fuck. I had almost forgotten about that in my haste to congratulate myself.
In med school, we had to study ethics. Now, according to the rules of ethics, I should probably tell her about what happened. According to ethics, Emmett Cullen style, I had three months to see how this would go before I owned up. And according to ethics, inner-Emmett style, I had absolutely no worries, since she didn't remember me.
I'd say that averages out to me not having to do it right now. Right?
"Emmett," my dad greeted me warmly when I got to the fourth floor and found him at the nurse's station, flirting with my mom. It was good to see after all these years that they were still playing the Dr. Cullen and Nurse Esme game. I know it freaks a lot of people out, but I've always liked the fact that I can see them as human rather than "the parents".
Plus, it was really fun to see Edward get all uncomfortable around them.
"It's good to have you back here," he said. He had told me that at least a billion times since I graduated from school last year and agreed to come back to Forks when I finally finished my residency.
"Good to be back," I lied through my teeth. Forks wasn't the most horrible place on Earth. I'm sure there are some places in war-torn Chile that are worse. But still, it was nice to be closer to my family. Even Jasper, who had been my first roommate in the dorms in college, had wound up here. Of course, that was because Alice had come to visit me once that year and they had fallen madly in love and now he was my brother-in-law. Regardless, it was nice to be with my family again after all these years.
"You're going to be assisting Edward in surgery today," Dad informed me and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course I would be assisting Edward, prodigal son and surgeon extraordinaire. I thought about asking Dad, jokingly of course, if I could assist Jasper instead. Jasper was an OB/GYN. "Glad to see you're so happy with it," Dad said, misinterpreting my smirk.
Ahhh, today's going to suck.
Of course, there was incredible potential for life in general to suck very, very soon.
AN: Don't be too quick to write Emmett off. He's just a poor, scared man.
Uhhhh. Relation of the charas. Easily recognizable by last names: Emmett, Edward, and Alice Cullen; Jasper and Rosalie Hale; Bella Swan. Canon couples. Kay? Kay.
And now… feedback?