Title: Have you ever?
Author: cyanide blue
Summary: Bebop charries play the world-famous game, "Have you Ever". Chaos ensues. Somewhat stupid, but can you blame me?
Rating: PG-13. You can't expect Bebop charries to behave, especially in this case.
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, but oh dear God if I did.....

Have you ever?

"Ein!" Ed scurried through the Bebop, chasing after Ein. "Ein, Ed has doggie food! Ein!" The little hacker girl didn't notice Spike coming back from a relatively unsuccessful bounty hunt and knocked him over.

"Ah!" He turned, staring as Ed scurried along a corner. "Damn kid," he muttered and lit a cigarette. As he walked into the "den" area of the Bebop, Faye was sitting there. That Big Shot show was on.

"We have some amazing news, bounty hunters!" the blonde bimbo giggled. "Sit down because this'll knock you off your feet!"

Faye looked over at Spike and said, "Well, you heard her, sit down." With that special glare he reserved for Faye only, he jumped onto the couch.

"Yeah, this news is surprising," the black guy said, "there are no bounties out on anyone today!"

The blonde giggled. "I guess all you bounty hunters have a vacation!" With that news, Faye and Spike stared at the screen. Faye turned it off, and mutely looked at Spike.

"Fat chance," Spike said. He kicked back and looked behind him as Jet walked in. "Hey Jet," he said conversationally, "would you believe there's not a single bounty to be gained today?"

"Maybe the universe is finally at peace," Jet offered.

"Ha!" Faye laughed. "The universe will be at peace when I quit gambling!"

That pretty much killed the conversation. Eventually Jet said, "Let's play a game."

"What game?" Spike quirked an eyebrow, and looked darkly over at Faye. "And no, no card games."

Faye looked affronted, but said, "How about, 'Have you ever'?"

"What's that?" Spike put his feet up on the table and stared at his shoes in his typical fashion.

"Well, one person asks the entire group of people if they have ever done something, and if they have, they have to explain. You add up points and whoever has done the most is the most worldly," Jet explained.

Faye and Spike sweatdropped and stared at Jet. Jet shrugged. "I had sisters, give me a break," he muttered. "So you want to play? Not like we have anything else to do."

"I'll do it," Faye said. She looked meaningfully over at Spike, but he snorted.

"Sounds like a parlor game or something," he said. "If it doesn't involve-"

"-How about strip poker, then?" Faye added brightly. That shut Spike up.

Jet sat down, for possibly once in his life, and said, "Have you ever.. gotten shot?"

"That's not fair!" Faye protested. "I don't even remember my past so I wouldn't know! Change it to 'gotten shot at'."

"I have," Spike said. He looked at Faye and laughed.

"I have," Jet said. "Then we each have a point. Except for Faye."

"Cheater," Faye muttered, and crossed her arms over her.. shall we say, ample bust. "Fine. I'll go. Have you ever been cryogenically frozen?"

"Oh come on, now who's cheating?!" Jet protested.

Faye grinned widely. "I have! Oh look boys, we're even. Spike's turn!"

Spike looked darkly at Faye, then said, "Have you ever fought off a Ganymede rock lobster mutation that poisoned all of your comrades by shooting it with a flamethrower?"

Faye and Jet stared at Spike, and finally Faye sputtered, "Well, that's not fair, we couldn't, we got bit by the thing!"

Jet looked annoyed. "Come on, Spike, play by the rules."

"What rules?" Spike sighed. "Fine, Jet, you make a good one up."

"All right," Jet agreed. "Have you ever sacrificed a former lover for your rather ungrateful comrades, or just for the money?"

They all thought about that, then sweatdropped. In unison, they said, "I have."

"This game is depressing," Faye said, moping.

"Two more," Jet said. "Have you ever eaten dog food just for the hell of it, voluntariily?"

Ein appeared, suddenly leaping onto Faye's head. Ed stumbled into the room and said, "Ed has!" The others simply sweatdropped.

"I have one," Spike said. "Have you ever been so bored that you and your comrades decided to play a stupid parlor game which had no meaning in the real world?"

"I have," they said. After a few moments Faye turned on the television. Big Shot was back on, thank God.

"Well, it seems our other report was wrong!" The blonde said. "There's a bounty of.." and she went on, but it was drowned out by the three comrades saying "THANK GOD!"

~Fini~
A/N:Yes, I know it was stupid. Yes, I know I just wasted your time. Sorry. I was playing this with some friends when this popped into my head. r/r if by some rare occurence you liked it.