Random and slightly pointless introduction: If you've read my stories "Till It's Gone" and "Sadness Flies Away," you'll know what this is about. Except this time, it's about Kenny.

Warning: Some swearing, gory-ish moments, and suicidal themes.

Review, please!! ^_^

And if you see me losing ground

I threw on my white v-neck t-shirt and pulled on my old orange hoodie. My faded black jeans were torn in several places, and my black fake Converse shoes were about to fall apart completely. I ran my fingers through my hair and grabbed my backpack that was full of homework I hadn't done.

Don't be afraid to lie

A sigh escaped my lips and I hurried down the stairs to go to another boring and useless day of high school.

I know the pain inside my heart can't break the fear inside of yours

I don't even get why I have to go to school. It's not like I'll ever amount to anything anyway. I'm just some poor, white-trash, unlucky kid with no talents or passions. Honestly, what's the point in anyone taking any interest in me? I'm nothing important.

And if you see me losing faith

I bet that if I disappeared, no one would feel any loss at all.


In what it means to die

I missed the damn bus. Again. That's probably the tenth time this month. Can't I do anything right?

Don't let me leave before I know what lies behind the stained glass doors

I wonder if Kyle, Stan and Cartman even noticed I wasn't there. I highly doubt they did. I've always just sort of faded into the background for them. When we were kids and I still died almost every single day, they never hesitated to replace me or forget I had even been there in the first place. I was never good enough to be in the center of the stage.

Save sorrow for the souls in doubt

I sighed and watched a cloud of my warm breath swirl in the air. I wonder how many people actually care about me. I could argue that I was Cartman's best friend, he told me so in fourth grade, and that had to be one of the nicest thing he'd ever said to anyone.

Bleed every care out

But I'm not his best friend. Not anymore, anyway. Even though he's never said it out loud, it's clear that Butters is his best friend.

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day?

I never really realized how fucking pathetic that is. Even Eric Cartman can have a best friend, but I can't even make the smallest mark on someone's life. I'm replaceable. I'm just the fourth member of the group. Anyone can take that place. I'm nothing special. Just another kid that happens to hang around them.

With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight

Every time I die, all I ever got was Stan yelling: "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" followed by Kyle's "You bastards!". Over time, even that stopped. I'd die a gruesome and painful death, but they wouldn't so much as glance my way. Because I wasn't worth the fucking effort.

When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray

My parents couldn't care less about me either. They come home too drunk to remember my name. If I finally die for good, my brother would probably take the opportunity to take my room. My friends might not even notice that I didn't come back, let alone care.

Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain

I turned to see the high school next to me. I walked inside, painfully aware of the echo of my shoes against the hard floor. It was always eerie when there was no one else in the hallways. It felt so empty, so quiet, so peaceful. That isn't something anyone in South Park is very used to.

For every word we never spoke

Then the bell rang. It sounded like a mix between a dying animal, a screaming child, and a phone ringing. People crowded into the halls and shoved their books into their lockers. I guess it's break. I must've taken a really long time to walk here- or a really long time to wake up- if I've already missed two periods.

We have a tear to cry

I weaved my way through the thick crowd until I got to the stairs where my friends and I hung out at breaks. Cartman, Kyle, and Stan sat together on various different steps, talking animatedly to each other. I sighed and walked over dropping my bag near them and sitting on the second to lowest stair.

For every silence like a wall between a better you and I

"Hey," I greeted, not really expecting an actual response.

So if you see me losing sight

"Hey, po' boy," Cartman replied with a stupid grin. I just rolled my eyes. I've learned to completely ignore that asshole.

Of all the death in life

Kyle and Stan both glanced my way to acknowledge that I was there, but other than that, I got no attention from them. They all just kept talking to each other, as I stared at the ground and blocked their voices as much as I could.


You'll find the peace in every time I failed to see the death in mine

I skipped last period and just went straight home. I went all day only talking to a few people, saying almost nothing the few times I did speak. And this is a normal, ordinary day for me.

Let all the fear inside you drown

Except for one thing. I'm going to kill myself.

Tear out the blade and lay it down

I've written all the letters. One marked Stan, one marked Kyle, one marked Cartman, and one marked Butters.

Save sorrow for the souls in doubt

I've thought out the whole plan, and I've sorted through my things.

Bleed every care out

I'm finally going to be free.


Will you carry me down the aisle that final day?

At eleven o'clock at night, I left my house in the dark. I didn't even bother trying to sneak out because my parents were beyond passed out from all the alcohol they had.

With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight

My heart pounding, I slowly walked to Butters' house. The lights were off, and it was completely silent. I opened the mailbox, and slid the white envelope in before slowly walking away.

When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray

I've never realized how peaceful and quiet South Park is when no one's awake. Normally, there's at least one drunk person stumbling around, knocking over trash cans and yelling random stuff. But not tonight. Tonight there is no one but me.

Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain

I got the Stan's house next, just in time to see the light in his room go off. I sighed heavily and put his letter in the mailbox. I took one last look at the house and then walked in the direction of Kyle's house without looking back.

Oh, the blood is rushing out

Kyle's house was as quiet as Butters'. No surprise there. The two of them have the strictest parents I know. I slipped the Kyle's letter into his mailbox and hurried away in the general direction of where Cartman lived.

Oh, I'm better off without

I let my mind wander as a walked the dark streets. Houses loomed over me, blocking out the moonlight. I wondered about what would happen tomorrow. Would everyone just dismiss my death by saying that it's just Kenny, he'll be back soon? Or would they understand that I'm finally not coming back?

Oh, the walls are closing in

"Kenny?" a voice said, shaking my thoughts away. I cringed. I didn't want to see anyone, much less talk to anyone.

Oh, sing for me again

I looked up and saw Cartman sitting on the steps of his house. He was holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette. There were dark bags under his empty brown eyes. "Cartman? What are you doing?"

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day?

He gave a cold chuckle. "I could ask you the same thing, poor boy. At least I'm in front of my own house."

With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight

I rolled my eyes. "Actually, I had something to give you." I walked up to him and held out the letter.

When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray

He rose one eyebrow at me and took the letter from me. He tore it open, and I swiftly walked back to my house. I didn't want to see his reaction. I was scared. Not scared it would hurt him, but scared it wouldn't matter. I'd rather die in hope that he'd care that die knowing he's just laughing like it's some sick inside joke.

Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain

I grabbed a knife from my kitchen and walked upstairs to the bathroom. My knees were trembling as I dragged myself there.

Will you carry me down the aisle that final day?

I glanced at my face in the mirror. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I hadn't noticed I was crying. How long had I been crying? Was I crying when I handed the letter to Cartman? Why does it matter?

With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight

I took a deep breath and put the knife to my wrist. I was shaking. I closed my eyes and sliced open my skin. I hardly felt it. After all the pain I've been through, this was nothing.

When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray

I cut open my wrist again. And again. And again. And again, until I was covered in blood, cuts all over both my arms, the red liquid gushing out of my deep gashes.

Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain...

The world started to become blurry, until all I could see was red. Then the red faded into black, and I didn't even feel myself hit the floor. I was enveloped in darkness, and then I was gone. Just like that.