Chapter warning: mild slash; don't like it, turn back now.
Falling in love with your best friend can end in two ways: disaster or bliss. This was the dilemma I was faced with. I, Remus Lupin, was in love with one of my best friends, Sirius Black. Sirius had been one of the first people I met when I came to Hogwarts. He, along with our two other friends, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, were my best friends.
The three of them had stuck with me through everything; even after they found out about my deepest secret. I had been so afraid of how they'd react when they found out I was a werewolf, since the wizarding world isn't exactly friendly with them. But, they took it quite well. They even learned how to be animagi to help me out during my transformations. I couldn't ask for better friends.
Out of all of them, I was always closest to Sirius; I felt that I could tell him anything. I realized I fancied guys two years ago, during fifth year. I was so afraid to tell the others, but they accepted that as well. I don't know what I did to deserve just great understanding friends. Fifth year was also when I developed a crush on Sirius. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I just thought it was a simple school boy crush that would pass with time. Sirius was probably one of the most wanted guys in school. He was smart without having to try, he was funny, and he was handsome. Everyone, girls and boys alike, had a crush on him. That's why I didn't think anything of my crush for him.
But then during our sixth year, Sirius did something that was unforgivable. He told Severus Snape, a boy in our year that he and James hate, how to get into the Womping Willow. The Womping Willow was a passage that I took so that I could transform into a wolf without being near anyone and possibly harming people. Sirius told Severus how to get in there in hopes I would kill him. No matter how much I hated a person, there was no way I would kill them, wolf form or not. Sirius knew that, but he still did it anyway. I was angry with him for a while, but I couldn't find myself to hate him for it. I knew that I should, but I couldn't. Even the time I spent mad at him, I found myself missing his company.
It was then that I realized I was in love with my best friend. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't pursue a relationship with him. For one thing, Sirius was my best friend and I value his friendship more than anything. I don't want to risk this great friendship we have because I find myself attracted to him. Another thing was that Sirius went through girls pretty fast. In the seven years that I've known him, the longest relationship he ever had lasted three weeks. I don't want something like that. A simple fling may be alright with Sirius, but I want commitment. And most importantly, Sirius was straight. He may be alright with me liking guys, but there was no way he would like guys himself.
"Is it alright if I sit here?" A voice broke me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw the angry face of Lily Evans.
"James again?" I couldn't help but chuckle. James had been trying to get Lily to go out with him for two years now. Everything he did only seemed to make her madder.
"He just doesn't know when to give up!" Lily said in a harsh whisper. She looked like she wanted to scream in frustration, but we were in the library. "How does he expect to get a girl when he just goes up to them and tells them to meet him in a deserted classroom somewhere? He's such a pig!"
"That's James for you," I laughed again, turning back to my books.
"I don't know how you can stand to be friends with them; you're nothing like them."
"Sometimes I wonder that, too, Lily." I said honestly. Lily and I stopped talking and just settled for a comfortable silence while we both did our homework.
"We should head to dinner," Lily announced after a while. I glanced at my watch and was surprised at how much time had passed by.
As we approached the Great Hall, I noticed a couple snogging against the wall next to the door. I heard Lily scoff at her display and chuckled. As we drew closer, I saw a familiar head of black hair. It was Sirius who was snogging some blonde girl. I felt my chest tighten a little. Even though I knew there could never be anything between me and Sirius, it still hurt every time I had to see him with some girl.
"You really like him, don't you?" My head snapped back to look at Lily.
"What?" I managed to get out.
"Don't look so surprised, Remus," Lily said with a small laugh. "I've seen the way you look at him and how you look at the girls he's with. It doesn't take a genius to know that you fancy him."
"I, uh, well, you see… How? I…" I realized I was babbling. But I really didn't know what to say. This only seemed to make Lily laugh some more.
"I never thought I'd see you so lost for words."
"Please don't tell anyone, please" I blurted out.
"Don't worry," Lily stopped laughing and gave me a small reassuring smile. "Your secret is safe with me. Though, I really don't know what you see in him."
"Sometimes, I wonder that, too," I took one last glance at Sirius and the blonde, who didn't seem to notice anyone else, before walking into the Hall with Lily. She and I separated when she went to go sit with her friends and I went to James and Peter.
"Where have you been, Moony?" Peter asked, looking up from his plate.
"The library," I began filling up the empty plate inside of me.
"Have you seen Sirius?" James asked. "He was right behind me and Peter when we came down here."
"I saw him outside with—"the rest of my sentence interrupted by Sirius. He dropped into the seat next to me. His hair was disheveled, as were his robes, and his lips looked redder than they should be—the blonde's lipstick seemed to have gotten on him.
"Sorry about that," Sirius gave us all a sheepish grin. "I was just about to come in when I bumped into Sally. She wanted to have a little talk."
James smirked, realizing what their little "talk" was about before going back to his food. Sirius winked at someone at the Ravenclaw table and I saw the blonde—Sally he said her name was—that he was snogging earlier. The tightening feeling returned in my chest.
I saw Lily looking in our direction from down the table and our eyes met. She gave me a knowing, albeit sad smile which I returned with a sad smile of my own. There was no way in hell that Sirius Black, the infamous womanizer of Hogwarts, could ever return the feelings of his gay, werewolf friend.
First ever story. What do you think? Reviews are greatly appreciated ^_^