Disclaimer:I don't own Sensitive Pornograph. If I did, I would have been incredibly biased and given some stories a longer storyline (and moar secks). But alas.
Notes: So! This may not look as familiar to some people. I did a complete overhaul of this chapter. I hope it's for the better. I personally like this version more than the first, but I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on it, meaning those who have seen the first chapter. For those of you who are new, uh, welcome!
I kind of flaked out about updating this for a while. I'm really sorry I left it for so long! I still have plans to update it and see it through to whatever end there is for this thing. Here's to all those who are ready for the long haul and plan to stick it out! You're what this is all about.
Suddenly Seiji felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him awake. The sun had already set on the city, leaving his bedroom dark and cold. But Seiji could still make out Sono's form as the man tried to wiggle free. Seiji tightened his hold around his waist.
He heard Sono sigh.
"It's time for me to go, Seiji."
Seiji made a sound of protest but reluctantly let Sono slide out of bed, knowing there was nothing he could do. He sighed and pushed himself up off his stomach and watched Sono leave towards the bathroom. The space beside him on the bed was still soft and warm from where Sono had been. Seiji moved over to lie in the space and press his face into the pillow.
Their catnap had been so comfortable. Now he listened to the sounds of Sono cleaning himself up before he got dressed again to leave. It was always the most depressing moment of their time together. At least, it was in Seiji's opinion. He loved the way Sono's body felt and the way he could fit perfectly against his side, the way they could slowly breathe in tandem after having a little fun in the sheets, completely relaxed and spent. Nothing ever seemed to worry him then.
Later, Sono would become the responsible one again and remind him there were things that still needed to be done, or that it was time for him to go.
Really, what was so special at Sono's place that he couldn't take care of here? What exactly did he do there? Seiji rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, pulling the sheets up to his chest. He wondered if it was selfish of him to want Sono here all the time. Sono knew he didn't want him to leave some nights, but he left anyway.
Seiji looked up as he heard the sound of running water stop and the bathroom door open. Sono came back into the room, patting his bare arms and chest down with a hand towel. He smiled at Seiji through the darkness as he bent down to pick his clothes up from beside the bed. Neither of them said anything until he was fully dressed again.
"Will you walk me out, Seiji?" Sono asked.
Seiji sat up. "Oh, sure."
He didn't bother to clean himself up any before following Sono to the door. He'd decided to just slip back into his pants and, as a second thought, socks. Seiji had taken this walk enough times to know it wouldn't take long before he could run back to bed again where it was warm.
The apartment was cold with a winter chill. Even with socks on, Seiji felt it in his feet. Somehow it seemed less cold, however, when they made their way into the living area towards the front entrance where the lights were still on. There, Seiji helped Sono into his winter coat and scarf.
The silence began to feel awkward, and Seiji knew he was the one making it that way.
Finally, he said, "Are you going to be okay getting home?"
"I think I'll manage," Sono said with a smile.
"Do you have everything?"
"I think so."
"Be careful of ice!"
Sono chuckled softly. "I will." Then he moved in for the kiss he knew was coming. Suddenly Seiji didn't mind the cold anymore as he leaned in, putting his hand on the back of Sono's neck, and pressed their mouths together. It reminded him so much of everything they had done earlier and how much more he still wanted to do. Why did he always have to leave?
It was over too soon for Seiji, but he obediently pulled away when Sono did and stood back as he opened the door. A rush of cold air swept in and assaulted Seiji's bare upper body, causing him to quickly rub his arms for the heat he'd lost. Sono seemed amused but left quickly to keep the snow flurries out, giving one last wave. The door clicked close and then he was gone.
Again Seiji felt the stillness of his own apartment and the unforgiving chill. Somehow this place felt different now after Sono left, or maybe Seiji was imagining it. A certain kind of loneliness always crept in when he couldn't convince him to stay the night. Even then, the situation wasn't permanent. He'd still have to leave the next day.
As Seiji slowly made his way back to his room, he pondered why the situation couldn't be permanent. Their relationship had been steady for a couple of months now and Seiji could honestly say he loved Sono for more than being the first man he'd ever been with.
The sheets had lost some of their initial heat but they still smelled like Sono, and that was good enough for Seiji. He eagerly crawled back into bed and sighed. If they could just live together… that would solve the whole dilemma of loneliness he experienced now.
The idea seemed simple enough, but what would Sono think? The decision would be dependent on him, honestly. Seiji already knew where he stood on the matter; he wanted Sono to move in with him, and he was ready to accept everything that entailed.
What about Sono?
Seiji rolled over onto his side and curled into a tight little ball with the sheets pulled up to his ears.
What would Sono think…?
His thoughts were slowly easing out of focus as he became more and more comfortable in his bed. Before drifting off to sleep, he made a mental note to talk with Sono about this the next time he was able.
Sono had been too busy with a deadline to meet him the next day. It wasn't until that weekend that they were able to meet up for coffee at a small corner café. To Seiji it had felt like weeks.
He was so happy to see him again that he didn't care who saw when they kissed.
"Good morning, Seiji."
Even though it had been a few days since the night he made himself that promise, Seiji hadn't forgotten it. Before leaving the apartment, he had reminded him to talk with Sono about his proposal. The time apart had given him time to rehearse what he planned to say. He still wasn't entirely sure of everything he was going to say, but he figured he could wing most of it now. He was prepared!
"You have a little snow in your hair, Seiji," Sono pointed out as they took off their coats and sat down in a booth with their drinks.
Seiji reached up and mussed his hair, watching wet snowflakes dribble onto the table.
"Why didn't you wear a hat?"
"I guess I forgot," Seiji replied sheepishly. So maybe not entirely prepared.
Sono laughed as Seiji then struggled to smooth his wet hair back down in a way that was presentable. "Here, let me," he said. Seiji leaned forward as Sono reached across the table and gently raked his fingers through his hair, sorting it back down again. "There."
They both sat back with smiles.
"How does it look now?" Seiji asked.
Sono seemed to study him a moment and then replied, "Very handsome."
In his mind, Seiji had agreed not to seem too eager about his idea. First things first, he decided to ask Sono about his work and how he'd been during their time apart. Though, honestly, he hardly listened when Sono replied. Almost immediately he started thinking about what he was going to say next when the opening presented itself.
However, Sono soon picked on his lack of focus. Seiji hardly even noticed when he had cut himself off and began to stare, amused.
"Is something on your mind, Seiji?" he asked.
Seiji blinked and shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Uhh…"
Instead of being upset, Sono only seemed more amused. "It must be very important."
"Kind of," Seiji said. "There was something I did want to talk to you about."
"And what's that?" Seiji could see Sono become a bit more serious. He was obviously curious about what he had to say. Something about his attentiveness made Seiji nervous. What if he didn't like the idea?
"Um…" Seiji tried to push aside all his doubts and remember what he was going to say next. "I really enjoy spending time with you, and we've been together a while now, haven't we?"
"Mm." It was hardly a reply but it was all Seiji needed to know Sono was paying attention. However, it quickly seemed unnecessary since Sono was now alert and watching his face apprehensively. Seiji wondered what he thought he was going to say at that point. All the starts and stops must not have helped either.
"Is everything all right, Seiji?" Sono asked when he ruminated on his thoughts for too long.
"Huh? Oh, I was just going to ask you if… well, if you think we… if it'd be a good idea for us to, ah, move in together." Seiji rubbed the back of his head awkwardly but relaxed a little more when he saw Sono sigh and look almost relieved. It hadn't exactly gone the way he planned but at least it was out there.
After that, Sono didn't respond right away. First he took a sip from his coffee and then stared out of the storefront window across the café. The moment dragged on so long that Seiji wondered if he was even going to respond at all.
He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Sono turning back at him again, propping an elbow up on the table and resting his chin in his palm.
"I'm not sure, Seiji," he said quietly. "That's a big decision, you know. I'll need some time to think about it, if that's all right."
Well, it was better than 'no'.
"Sure," Seiji replied, earning himself a warm smile from his lover.
He refrained from asking how long he'd need, or what exactly that response meant, and just accepted it for the time being.
Sono seemed grateful when the topic finally changed, making Seiji wonder if he planned to take the idea seriously.
He'd just have to wait and see.