Disclaimer: I'm not associated with Marvel whatsoever. Which is a shame, because I'd love to see this in graphic novel form, hahaha.

This is the story where Gambit becomes the sex ed teacher.


It was a good thing that Gambit had spent all those years mastering his poker face, because it was the only thing keeping him from grinning like an idiot at his own funeral. Gambit was rather impressed by the turn out. Not just family and friends, but also Assassins, people he hadn't seen in ages, and a few women he didn't recognise but suspected were former lovers. Bella Donna was even there with her daughter, Mignonette.

Of all the people there, only two others knew that the youth of about thirteen years who stood with the family was not Remy LeBeau's son, but Remy LeBeau himself. One was Jean-Luc LeBeau, for whom this turn of events meant that he would have to pass the Guild leadership to Henri instead of Remy as he planned come his impending retirement. The other was Ororo Monroe, who was posing as the young Remy's guardian.

Gambit listened closely as his brother gave the eulogy, making a mental list of things to comment about to Henri later. He couldn't wait to tease Mercy about crying at his funeral either. Gratified to be sure, but given the way he and his sister-in-law picked on each other he couldn't wait to point out that she would actually miss him if he was really dead. With her were her two children, Sebastien and Aimee.

There was a somber silence as the service drew to a close, and the people attending began to leave, heading car by car to the Wake. Gambit ignored the curious glances many shot in his direction. There would be time enough to deal with that.

"Jean-Luc," said Bella Donna as she approached, Mignonette at her side. "If I may offer my condolences."

"You may," Jean-Luc replied. "If I thought you actually meant them."

Bella Donna offered him a tight smile, but her eyes fell on the teenage boy with red-on-black eyes at his side.

"So," she said. "This is Remy's boy?"

"A pleasure to meet you madame," Gambit said politely.

He took Bella Donna's hand and kissed it, more out of reflex than intention to flirt. He might be a thirty-nine year old trapped in a thirteen year old body, but he remembered well the times he spent with his former lover.

"A chip off the old block too," Bella Donna said dryly.

"Ahem," Jean-Luc coughed. "Bella, this is mon petit-fils, Remy LeBeau the Second. Remy, this is Bella Donna Boudreaux and her daughter... Mignonette."

"Enchante," Gambit said, taking Mignonette's hand and kissing that too.

Mignonette gave him a smirk and a roll of the eyes that distinctly reminded Gambit of her mother. She had brown hair and eyes though, which said plainly that the girl took after her father, whoever that may have been.

"The Second?" Bella Donna repeated in amusement. "Well, of course Remy would name his son after himself. Typically arrogant of him. I have to admit, Jean-Luc, I was surprised to learn Remy even had a son."

"As was I," Jean-Luc replied. "I thought he was more careful in his affairs than that."


"Bella Donna, there is no need for the fighting to continue. I know you're still grieving Julien's loss, but he was the one who poisoned mon fils—"

"It was the Cure," Bella Donna snapped. "Not poison."

"As Remy turned out to be amongst the one percent of mutants that suffered side-effects, it may as well have been. It took him weeks to die," Jean-Luc replied coldly. "Remy gave Julien a quick death, which was more than he deserved."

"He had no right to kill our Patriarch."

"And he had no right to attack my heir. There has been quite enough fighting between our Guilds, Bella Donna. I do not care to see it continue into yet another generation."

"I suppose that really depends on Remy and Sebastien," Bella Donna said slyly, looking back down at Gambit. "You boy—just like your cousin—will stay away from my daughter. Is that clear?"

Gambit was silent and made a point of looking Mignonette up an down with a smirk on his face.

"D'accord. I'm not interested anyway," Gambit said. "She looks way too much like she could be my sister."

Mignonette pulled a very unladylike face.

"Remy!" Jean-Luc exclaimed.

"You have a lot of nerve, don't you?" Bella Donna said, frowning at Gambit.

"It runs in the family."

Bella Donna let out an exasperated breath and finally shook her head.

"Sons should not be allowed to be that much like their fathers," she muttered. "He even looks like Remy did at his age, eyes and all. Not even Marcus is that much like Julien."

"It's uncanny, isn't it?" Jean-Luc said mildly.