Here it is, the long awaited final battle between Alucard and his sparkling opponent Edward! This is extremely violent and contains coarse language. Please read and review!

The two vampires glared at each other. The three sidelined women backed away from the silent standoff, dreading the moment when the battle would start.

"Edward Cullen...a vampire presumably..."

"Correct, monster. I am the greatest vampire to ever live. I have strength and speed which surpasses any human and...I can sparkle!" Alucard growled as Edwards whole body shimmered like a moonlit pond. "Isn't it beautiful? It is much more spectacular than you, a miserable dried up creature of the night. You probably don't even style your hair!"

"This conversation is draining me. Let's end it here!" Alucard scowled.

"No, I have time. I could go on and on about my superiority, but I guess the only way an ugly thing like you could understand would be through force. I want to see your blood sparkle in the moonlight!" Edward smirked arrogantly.

"Edward..." Alucard looked to the ground, his shoulders heaving and his breathing ragged.

"What is it, hound of darkness?"

"Vampires..." Alucard trailed off.

"What was that? Don't you know how to finish a sentence you moron!" Edward took a step towards his opponent when the Nosferatu's head snapped up, revealing wide eyes with tiny dots for pupils in his bloodshot eyes. Veins bulged on his forehead and his fangs dripped with saliva. He looked to be the picture of madness!

"VAMPIRES-DONT-SPARKLE!!!" Alucard dashed forward in a move so fast he became a black blur. He barrelled into Edward and hurled him into the ground.

"Edward!!" Alice ran forwards, grasping a sharpened log. She drove it into Alucard's back, but the vampire didn't even notice, his bloodlust had consumed him. Alice's eyes narrowed, anticipating a torturous death by this monster, but he never even turned to face her. Something did grab her though. She spun on her heels to face Seras, a hidden rage flourishing in her red eyes.

"There's only one girl who can lay a hand on Alucard, and that's me!" Seras punched Alice in the jaw and then kicked her in the gut. Alice dropped into the dirt, coughing.

"I...I thought we were friends?" She rasped.

"We were, until you hit my master! An enemy of my master is an enemy of mine as well!"

"Please? Please don't hurt me! I promise not to harm you! I'll run! I'll get as far away as possible and I promise not to tell anyone! Please?!" Alice was begging now. Seras almost thought Alice would kiss her feet, but unfortunately it never happened.

"Fine! Get out of my sight!" Seras kicked her up the ass and launched her a few metres into some shrubs. Alice groaned as she got to her feet and ran. "Well, that was easy- Oof!" Someone tackled her. She was screaming like a cat with rabies. Seras kicked her off of her stomach and glared at Bella.

"You bitch!" The brunette growled.

"You bitch!" The blonde growled.

The two women charged at each other, nails, fists, teeth and hair flying about everywhere. The battle between them was quite vicious, but it was a tea party compared to the main fight.

Edward breathed in ragged gasps, his chest lacerated to a point where his ribcage was almost in full view. Blood dribbled out the corner of his mouth and his sparkly skin was stained by dirt and blood.

Alucard was still in his normal state. He would use little power to kill this most hated enemy. Alucard was practically unscathed, excluding a scratch under his left eye.

"You...Monster!" Edward wheezed.

"Yes?" Alucard chuckled. "I am a monster, Mr Cullen...A true monster! Nothing compares to me, nothing can defeat me, and nothing will ever star in a movie and make me look weak!" Alucard back-handed Edward and sent him into a tree trunk.

"Arrgh! You son of a bitch!" Edward growled through gritted, blood-flecked teeth. "I'll make you pay!"

"For what? Stopping your skin from sparkling?" Alucard walked casually up to his opponent and booted him in his exposed ribs. Strings of flesh clung to his boots and he shook his foot until it fell off. Edward whimpered like a wounded animal and rolled about in the dirt. "You are a sickening excuse for a vampire. I have barely even tried and you are already near death. Where is your superhuman strength? Where are your speedy evasions? You are even weaker than a human!" Alucard spat on the ground near Edwards face, making his foes eyes widen in fear and shock.

" the least graceful vampire...I have...ever...faced!" Edward took deep gaps to get air in his lungs. Alucard maniacal laughter made him freeze.

"Grace?! Vampires do not care for grace!! They care for cruelty, for blood, for death! We creatures of the night crave violence! It is our salvation! Not is for the vain humans! Appearance is nothing compared to strength!"

"You're wrong!" Edward roared, but Alucard silenced him by slamming his boot into his head.

"Then prove it!" Alucard stepped back and waited for Edward to stagger to his feet. He growled in a low tone, his skin beginning to sparkle and causing a shimmering aura around his body.

"Without beauty, this world would a dark wasteland full of death and war!"

"Fool! That is what all vampires desire!!" Alucard braced himself for Edwards's inevitable attack.

"I shall show you the strength of beauty!!" Edward charged, his weak fangs bared and his sparkling skin shimmering in the light. Alucard rested his hands at his side and waited. Edward hit him with a surprising strength. Alucard stepped back four paces and gazed at the dent in his ribcage.

"Impressive. You crushed my lung and heart and broke at least seven bones. That is good, but your aesthetic distractions stopped you from killing me! I shall show you the power of one who does not care for his appearance, but only his task at hand, the destruction of his enemy!!" Alucard roared like a wild animal and drove his hand right through Edwards's stomach, impaling him. Edward gurgled and blood splattered the front of his shirt and Alucard's shoulder. The No-life-king lifted his victim into the air and laughed. "Isn't it marvellous, to stain yourself in the blood of your opponent, to taste their fear!!"

"I...shall...defeat you!" Edward murmured light-headedly. His skin sparkled vigorously now.

Alucard stared distastefully at it. "You are no vampire...because...VAMPIRES DON"T SPARKLE!!!!" Alucard dug his fingernails into Edwards arm and then tore free a patch of the sparkling flesh. He threw it away and roared. "I shall tear away every shred of your sparkling skin!!" And he did just that, smiling maliciously as Edward screamed in agony.

Meanwhile, Seras and Bella were both exhausted. They were covered in dirt, scratches and bruises.

"You fight like a girl!" Bella grunted.

Seras laughed. "So do you, but you don't look like one!" She smiled arrogantly. Bella screeched like a harpy and barrelled into her, knocking her to the ground where she punched her repeatedly. Seras spat out a mouthful of blood and grinned, flicking dirt up into Bella's ace before jabbing her elbow into her gut, winding her. Bella flopped onto her back and Seras stomped on her chest, crushing the wind out of her.

"Slut!!" Bella yelled before her air was knocked out again.

"Pretty words from an ugly girl!" Seras grabbed Bella by the hair and lifted her up to her knees. She then slapped her roughly, creating a loud noise on impact. Bella's cheek went red and she reeled from the hit. Her head bowed down, but she remained on her knees. Seras checked her nails, assuming she had won, but Bella shot out with a punch. Seras tried to dodge, but too the hit in her lower regions. She tripped on her own feet and blushed. "You don't hit people there!! That's just weird!!"

"So it suits you!" Bella kicked Seras in the jaw, knocking her down. "I may not be a vampire, but it seems I'm tough enough to fight them!"

"Bull! You wouldn't last one second against Alucard. Just look at you sparkly-ass lover!" Bella turned to see a reddish mass slumped against a tree beneath Alucard.

"Oh my god!! Where is his skin?!" Bella grasped her mouth with both hands and stared at the bloody mess that was Edward. Somehow he was still alive; he must have been in so much pain right now. Alucard was feeding the sparkling scraps of flesh to the campfire which still burned unaffected.

"Eye's on the prize bitch!" Seras karate chopped Bella's neck and she coughed. She swung her leg out but Seras rolled away before running in for another hit. She drove her fist into Bella's stomach and lifted her up from the ground. Bella screamed as Seras hurled her at the fire. Out of pure luck, Bella caught a tree branch and landed face first a few metres from the blaze rather than in it.

She gasped and coughed as she tried to crawl away from her enemy who casually stalked her. Seras wiped sweat from her forehead and stopped over Bella. She picked her up again and threw her into the flames. Bella screamed as her clothes burnt away and her skin melted and blackened. She rolled around in the dirt to try and put out the blaze. Her hair was completely alight making her look like some kind of fire goddess with flames as hair.

Seras picked up a burning piece of firewood, a thick piece of a branch about ten centimetres thick and a little over a foot long. She held it like a torch as she neared her opponent, and then brought it down with devastating force on Bella's shoulder. Bones cracked loudly and her arm snapped backwards, twisting in a way that was beyond repair. Bella shrieked.

"It's over. I'll finish you now and end your misery!" Seras raised the deadly weapon again, but Bella used her free arm to get a branch of her own. She slammed it into Seras' shin, forcing her down on one knee.

"I...won't...lose!!" Bella pushed herself up but fell back down again. She lay there helplessly. Seras crawled on her knees to Bella and rammed the blunt club into her spine. Bella whined and then lay still. She had been paralysed, but not killed. Seras rolled her over and glared into her fearful brown eyes. She was crying now, trying to play the sympathy vote to live. Seras scowled.

"Puppy eyes won't work on me. You're dead." Seras raised the club one last time and brought it down on Bella's head, crushing her skull and killing her instantly...but that did not stop Seras. She bludgeoned Bella's now malformed head even when she had drawn her last breath thirty seconds ago. She stopped when a mushy puddle was all that remained of her head and crawled close to Alucard who was still fighting Edward.

The skinless vampire was drained completely; He could not resist, merely lay back and allow Alucard to dismember him. After another few minutes of torture, Alucard took out his Jackal. He pressed the barrel into Edwards's forehead and he sighed.

"I have no more time to waste on you. I shall end this once and for all!" The gun clicked and Alucard drew the trigger back. Edward closed his eyes and waited. Nothing happened. Alucard himself looked surprised.

"What? Oh! I forgot to reload it! Sorry, excuse me." Alucard fumbled around, reloading the weapon. Edward watched in silence, his throat so clogged with his own blood he couldn't even breathe. "All done! Here we go!" Alucard placed the gun against Edwards head one more time and pulled the trigger. Again nothing happened. "Oh damn! I have the safety switched on!" Alucard chuckled. "Won't be a mo."

Edward sobbed worthlessly. Alucard's cruel taunts were almost as painful as his torture. He was rubbing salt into the wounds.

Alucard sighed. "This joke is getting old. Farewell, Edward." The sound of gunfire made Edward flinch. He didn't feel anything. Alucard cackled hysterically. "It was a blank round! Ha ha ha!!" He wiped a tear from his eye and shrugged. "Okay, enough fun. This is the end!" Edward expected another joke, but he felt it this time. The cold piece of metal that burrowed through his forehead into his brain. Once in his head, the bullet exploded. Edward's eyes rolled into his head before it too exploded.

Alucard wiped the mess from his coat and walked over to Seras, lifting her up and cradling her like a baby.

"Is it over?" She asked quietly.

"Nearly...there is only one more task to complete...but for that...we must head to Arizona." Alucard closed his eyes and teleported.


Integra sat on a comfy red chair in her office, sipping at a glass of wine. The phone beside her rang and she answered immediately.


#Is that you miss Integra?#

"Miss Victoria? How is the mission going?"

#Good. Me and Alucard are on our way back now. We just boarded the plane.#

"Did you stop him from killing everyone?"

#I'll be back soon!# Seras hung up. Integra sighed and took another sip at her drink.



Alucard and Seras looked out the window at the huge fire burning across a large mansion. It had once been the home for Stephanie Meyer, the author of Twilight, now it was a flaming mess.

Seras and Alucard smiled at each other. Nearby, a fridge door was left open in the plane's kitchen. An unattractive brown haired woman lay stuffed inside, a gash on her throat dripping into a large container.

"Mission complete!" Seras raised a glass of red liquid and Alucard raised his own. They clanged their glasses together and drank. Once they were emptied, they laughed hysterically.

Hellsing Special Operation: Twilight – Mission Status: Complete...

What did you think? Write a review. This story has gone far better than what I expected. I thought this would be an ignored story, but it's been very popular. It's great to know that there are so many anti-twilight fans out there. You have all proved your sanity by reading this far. Once again, please review, I want to know what you thought of the story.