Mistakes

AN: Mistakes are made on both parts, understanding what you did wrong and why are a part of the problem. If you never express your feelings then how does the other person know... Edward just wants to make Bella happy, doing one thing she asks him might crumble the last piece of his aching heart. Can you watch the one you love leave and then love another...

Disclaimer: SM owns.... E and B just let me play them like puppets...

…..EPOV.....

The fist day of school, sophomore year I entered 5th period reluctant. The school was all gossip about the new girl. Well she wasn't new, she was born here but apparently moved when her mother and chief Swan (her father) divorced. How did I know all this? Small town, and to many girls with nothing better to do. My sister being one of them.

I took my seat, the far desk in the corner. Likely know one else would want to sit there and I could be my own partner. Get my work done and not have to worry about helping some poor peer understand the labs. Being advanced had its advantages but more so disadvantages. Everyone always asked of help and sure, I didn't mind if they truly needed it. But more often then not they asked so I could tell them the answer.

A few minutes after the bell rang, mostly all the seats were filled and everyone settled into their awaiting the teachers introduction. The door opened and I automatic looked up rolling my eyes, really late on the first day? But the second our eyes met, I couldn't look away. She looked scared, and out of breath. She had to be the new girl. Probably lost and couldn't find the class, that's why shes late. Mr. Marks greeted her and told her not tot worry but try to be more punctual from now on. He directed her to take a seat and after following her eyes there was only two options, my table or Lauren Mallory. I didn't want her to sit there, Lauren was vicious and I felt like I needed to protect the new girl. I met her eyes once more and moved my eyes from the empty seat next to me and back at her hoping she would understand. She did and pulled out the chair, plopped her books down in front of her and looked over at me mouthing " Thank You" I smiled and nodded. There was something about her and I knew from then on we would be good friends.

Its been 4 years since then, We were great friends in high school just as I predicted. Alice my little sister took a liking to Bella and they became best friends. Alice was very upset when we graduated and left her behind to finish her last year before she moved to Seattle like me. Bella on the other hand got excepted to Arizona State and decided to move back home, well home where her mother was. I could understand she missed her but I was selfish and wanted her to go to UW with me.

To say I liked Bella was an understatement. I was ridiously in love with this girl. We both didn't date much in high school. Me well I was to consumed with Bella to really try and date another girl. And Bella she went out dates but afterward s she would call me and tell me how awful it was and how she should have learned her lesson with the last one. I'd ask her if she wanted to hang out and she would say yeah. We'd watch movie's, go to the mall, do home work, everything. To the outsider we looked like were were dating, with the lack of affection and intimacy clarified that up quickly.

When Bella got on the plane to go to AU, she cried, as well as Alice. I was numb. Like she really wasn't leaving unless I accepted it or something. She said she would call and text every chance she had. And email me at least once a week. She told Alice she loved her and would miss her to 'pieces'. After letting her go Bella turned to me and kissed my cheek, hugged me and told me she loved me too. I told her I would miss her also and she better call and write like she said she would or I'd come kick her ass. She laughed and wiped her eyes, grabbed her bag and walked to the security check in. Watching her walk away was the hardest thing I've had to do.

Making our way back to the car, Alice turned and asked me a question I wasn't prepared for. "Edward, why didn't you tell Bella you loved her? You do love her don't you?" I sighed of course I loved her. " Alice I couldn't say it because It means something different to me" She looked at me with sad eyes. Alice knew, she always had. But like a good sister she just took my hand and said maybe someday it will.

The emails and phone calls were as frequent as she promised for the first few months. We texted each other about our frustrations and good fortunes. A about a year after she left she called me and told me about this guy she met, Jake. She sounded like she enjoyed the date. I was happy for her but still held the ache for her. One that kept growing with each date and girl I forced myself to go out with. Alice tried convincing me to tell Bella how I felt when she came to visit that summer and I decided that it was time. If she was single, I would lay it on the line tell her how I've loved her this whole time and just maybe, she would give me a chance. I could only hope.

After going on a few date with this Jake guy, the phone calls stopped, I got the occasional forward text and maybe and email once a month. Each one containing an apology for being busy, how much she actually liked this guy Jake, yadd yadd. My plan of telling her plummeted and I scrapped the thought of being with her. I was to be alone.

Two weeks before summer started She called me. Told me she was coming out eailry and she needed a ride from the airport if possible. Shrugging off why she had changed her flight, I excitedly called Alice told her Bella was coming tomorrow.

I waited at the Airport baggage claim for the glimpse of chocolate waves and bright eyes. Bouncing on my toes and peaking over the mass of heads. Finally she came into view, dropped her bag and ran and jumped into me. I was whole, complete and utterly happy. She laughed and apologized for jumping on me stating she had just missed me so much. But she didn't realize I missed her just as much and more. We grabbed her bags and she asked to stay at my apartment. Her Dad, the Chief didn't know she came early. When I asked why she had come and not told him yet she looked away and mumbled something I couldn't make out about Jake.

On the way home we grabbed a pizza and beer and settled into a relaxing evening of catching up. She finally admitted that her and Jake got into a fight over his living arrangements. Apparently he had been living with his good friend Resey. Bella walking in on a incomparable sight of them both in towels. Each saying it wasn't what it looked like. She asked Jake to move out or get another roommate or they were done. Regardless of anything happened or not Bella just wasn't comfortable with him living with a girl that wasn't her. Jake said he needed time so Bella came home early needing to get away from the drama.

After a few more beers, she started to cry. Claiming she never was going to be happy, get married and have kids. That she wasn't the princess and there was not prince charming. I wanted so badly to jump and shout that I was right here and always have been. But instead I grabbed her into a tight hug and smoothed her hair down kissing the top of her head. She wiggled out of my grasp and looked up at me and the words just flew out of my mouth before I even noticed. I told her I loved her.

I wiped the last of her tears and held her checks while she just stared at me. The next thing I remember she was in my lap and she pressed her lips to mine. It was the single most important moment in my life. Her small hands tugged at the hem of my t-shirt. Sliding underneath and rubbing my skin. Everything was foggy and dream like. I wasn't even sure this was really happening. I'd imagined this for so long. I shifted on the couch and she sat up looking into my eyes and pulled her shirt off. She asked me one question and there was no possible way I could tell her no. I did as she asked. I took the problems away and I loved her. She just wanted to feel loved.

I picked her up, her legs wrapping around my waist while her mouth moved down my neck. I knew this was something we could never go back on but at the same time, maybe this would let her see that I really did love her. Not as a friend, that I was in love with her. In haste we pulled our clothes off, tossing them every which way. I knew she was hurting and this was dumb on my part but I couldn't stop. I needed to love her. She asked me too. My hand traced her hips and settled on her breasts. We kissed and touched until we couldn't take any more. I slowly parted her legs settling between them and loved her the only way I could at this moment.

We fell asleep cuddled to one another spent. Awaking in the morning I dreaded opening my eyes. I could feel her next to me the shallow breaths letting me know she was still asleep. I slipped out of bed. Covering her naked body so she wouldn't get cold and went to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet seat with my head in my hands praying she would wake up and see I was her prince and she really was the princess, that I loved her. I rinsed my face, brushed my teeth and went back into the bedroom to grab some boxers and pants. She was sitting up in my bed, sheet pulled tight holding her own head and cell phone. She said she had a headache and needed to get going. I gathered her clothes and let her get dressed.

She looked so sad, I didn't know what to to. She said she was sorry, she was drunk and upset and she shouldn't have let that happen. I shrugged and smiled and told her not to worry about it. While in the inside I was crumbling. I waited until she shut the door and she got into the taxi awaiting to take her to Alice's. Alice had called when I was in the bathroom and planned a to have Bella to her self all day.

Bella was sorry for what happened, that could only mean she wish it didn't happen. So for the rest of her visit no matter how much It killed me to see her, to know what she looked like under me, letting me love her. The way she felt against me. I sucked it up and was just her friend. Alice asked what had happened but I didn't say anything. It wasn't my place. And I didn't need my sister getting all crazy at me for the stupidity I showed that night. Alice maybe little but she is one scary force of nature when she's made at you.

So it leaves me here 4 years or being friends with the love of your life. And not knowing how to go on with your own life with out her in it. I sat at my piano like I do everyday before work and fine tune my set. I was playing at a little bar/ restaurant down town while teaching lessons during the day. Alice had called and said that Bella was coming to town for the weekend. She wanted to tell us some big news in person.... I knew Bella had worked everything out with Jake a long time ago and they had been living together since she went home that summer. I didnt want to know the news, I knew for me it wouldn't be good. She was going to get her fairy tale while I watched from afar.

Alice had made reservations at The Volterra, were I worked so Bella could tell us together. Alice was impatient and couldn't wait until I got off work or the next day when Bella and I had made lunch plans. I quickly dressed in work attire and made my way to work. I thought about the songs I was going to sing all day. My mood falling on slightly depressed pulled out longing classical angsty pieces. That's the best thing about working here. I picked my own set and was pretty much allowed to play anything I wanted. The music changed as my moods changed. Nothing was ever the same. Sunday night I would do requests and everybody loved that. I'd sing and play all the silly songs people asked for. Tonight, it would be different. It was Friday, a pretty big crowd filled the restaurant. I was on the bar side, but visible to the people eating at the tables across the way.

Half way into the first set, I saw her walk in, my sister and her boyfriend following. She was perfection. I smiled, she smiled and gave a small wave. That confirmed the 'big' news.... My heat sank, I felt sick and really needed air. I got through the last of the first half as fast as I could and took my break. Rounding the bar I gulped a glass of water and took big deep breaths. I knew what I had to do. She needed to hear it. I just wasn't sure I wanted the rest of the world to hear it. To expose everything. Everything was already changed and in shambles, how could a song make it any worse? If she didn't know I loved her then maybe hearing the song she would understand it. I walked over to the table where they sat, greeted and hugged Bella and Alice. Alice looked excited but torn. She knew I was struggling with seeing Bella again. If she only knew how much. We talked for a few minutes. Bella never said anything about the ring upon her finger... Nor did Alice. I told them I would catch them after my shift and to have a good dinner. Getting one more glass of water, I looked at Bella as I drank. I was going to sing the song I've held in for so long. The pain, the confusing and the sorry's I should have said along time ago. I was going to swallow my pride and tell her I loved her, was in love with her. She was my princess.

Sitting at the piano bench, I pulled out my gutair and I adjusted the mic and looked up until I found her eyes. Never taking them away from her's I began the song....

It hasn't been that long
Since we drank to the sunset, until it was gone
And down with it went our pain and fear
As we slowly broke contact
more and more with every beer

Bella blinked and looked down braking our eye contact.... I kept going pouring that night out, exposing what happened, it wasn't the smartest thing. But she had to know I was sorry, but not for the reasons she thought. I was sorry she wasn't with me... That just maybe if I hadn't gave in that night she might be with me...

And we passed out in each other's arms
Both admitting we'd never felt better
Never felt so warm
But awoke in each other's eyes
Without wearing a stitch of clothing
We were both deeply in disguise
And maybe I just set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
In my own special selfish way
And if I hadn't set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
Hell knows where your heart would be today
Maybe with me

I sang trying to find her eyes again,meeting Alice's glance I could tell she finally understood.

It seems like it's been so long
Since we kissed through the darkness
Until it was dawn
Up with it came our pain and fear
That we'd already lost each other
We both knew that the end was near
Maybe I just set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
In my own special selfish way
And if I hadn't set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
Hell knows where your heart would be today

Bella looked back at me at this point and I belted out the last three lines, tears brimming her eyes.

Maybe with me Maybe with me
Maybe with me Maybe with me
Maybe with me Maybe with me

With the last word. I looked away said thanks to the crowd and walked out the back entrance.

I didn't see her again that night nor the weekend. Alice tried to call but I ignored the calls letting them go to voice mail. I called my mother and canceled on family dinner knowing if Bella was still in town she would be there. The conversation with my mom didn't go very well she confirmed the 'big news'.... Bella was engaged.

I did the only thing I knew how. Packed a small bag, grabbed my guitar and left. I had know idea to where, for how long. But I knew I needed to get away. Maybe find myself, or what little part I had left. Since Bella Swan had my heart, there wasn't much left...


Ch Notes:

Ok so this was basically a one-shot boredom thing. But kinda digging it. Lemme know what you think, If I should write a few more chapters and such. It wouldn't be very long... Anyhoo yeah thanks for reading!

P.S BPOV??? or write a few more and keep it just in EPOV?? Or maybe someone else???

Song he sings to her is ALKALINE TRIO- Sorry About That

~SMACKERS18