Where do we Stand

Not mine, I own nothing… If I did, Alex and Olivia would have hooked up by now and they would have some awesome love pad somewhere in New York with your typical 2.5 kids.

Part 1

"Hey El, we gotta 1020 on a possible suspect…" Liv said rushing out the door, grabbing her coat along the way…

Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler had been partners for nearly ten years, and Detective Stabler new his partner better than anyone and he could tell when something wasn't setting right with her. He knew she was off her game, she had been for a while now. He wanted to help her, to fix her, but he wasn't sure how. Grabbing his coat and following her out the door, he kept his brotherly eye on her, he hoped she would talk or give some sign, clue or hint that would tell him what he could do to fix her, to help her.

Following Olivia out the door, Elliot kept his distance, trying to study her as he followed behind. "What El? What's on your mind?" Olivia asked. She could feel his eyes on her, questioning every move she made.

"You okay, Liv? You know, you can talk to me about anything? Right? You know I am here for you, no matter what?" Elliot tried his best to convince his partner that he was there for her. He could read her body language, and gage what mood she was in. He hoped that she would trust him enough to help her out, enough to let him in before it was to late.

"Yeah, El, I'm fine…" She sighed, "I just, oh, I don't know… I have a funny feeling is all… Something isn't setting right with the case. You know how it is.?" Although, Olivia did have an odd feeling about the current case they were working, that wasn't what was bothering her. Her feelings for a certain blonde that used to be their ADA, and her un-expected return was wrecking havoc on her subconscious thoughts.

Heading to the car, Elliot thought about Olivias' comment. He knew something was up, and he knew it wasn't primarily about the case. Something else was bothering his partner, but what, he wasn't sure. He didn't have time to ponder it now, so rather than waist anymore time on it, he shoved it to the back of his mind, for future scouring.

Looking up, Elliot could see his partner waiting for him… leaning against the car with a distant look painting her features. Lost in thought, a million miles away, Elliot wished there was something more he could do for her, but Olivia just wouldn't let him in. She wouldn't let anyone now-a-days.

She had been distant, even some what absent since the lovely ADA's timely return to their world, a mere shell of herself since Alex walked up to them on the side walk, asking what they had while they were in the middle of a case. As if she had never left, leaving them both somewhat discombobulated. He could see the hurt in his partners eyes felt the tension in her voice when she spoke to the counselor. He knew she had tried to make contact with their former ADA, and he knew she was all but put in her place when the ADA didn't not return her calls. He watched Olivia slowly die, destroying herself, while the ADA moved on with her life. That day, on the side walk, Elliot new with out a doubt, that his partner actually died inside. The rest of her days would be spent just buying time till her body caught up with her heart.

Olivia began to spiral downward from that day on. The light, gone from her eyes, her soul slowly crashes from the depths within, breaking, shattering into tiny pieces. Gone was the love for her job, the will to go on. She never knew that caring for a person who did not return your feelings would hurt and destroy one so much.

Olivia would show up to work, a ghost of herself. Gaunt, hollow eyes; she had slowly drawn into herself. Weeks passed and the weight dropped from her frame. Elliot could see the affect Alex had on his partner, but helpless and clueless has to how to pull her out of her funk of despair. He knew it was a matter of time before things finally caught up with her. And it did, a foot chase would inevitably be what would bring the once vivacious detective down.

The foot chase led them down an alley, around a bin, and through a vacant lot; they were heading toward a subway entrance. Olivia took the lead, gaining on the suspect as he crashed into unsuspecting pedestrians… tripping down the steps, the suspect pushed and shoved his way through the crowd. Elliot saw the reflection of metal and the blast of black powder before Olivia new what hit her. Down she went, tumbling down the steps like a broken rag doll, her head bouncing off of the concrete steps as she went pitching head over heels.

Olivia came to a halt, her head cracking the ground with a sickening thud at the base of the steps. Her lifeless body twisted and bent. From her chest, the red viscous fluid seeped out onto her clothing. Elliot grabbing his radio, desperately yelled into its microphone… his voice begging out their location… over and over he yelled officer down, officer down, shots fired. To his partner, he dropped the radio, pushing the heels of both hands down onto her wound. "Liv, please, Liv… come on… Don't give in, please, just open your eyes." On and on he begged, he new she had lost her will to go on, but still he begged. To him, she was his little sister. He cared for her deeply, he couldn't bare to loose her. They were partners, his family had adopted her. Kathy saw her as a sister, their kids referred to her as their aunt. But now, here she laid, on the dirty steps of the subway floor, her body broke, finally it had caught up with her heart. And all he could do is beg and plead for her to hang on.

Off in the distant, Elliot could hear the wail of sirens. Hope slowly started to seep into him. The EMT's would be there soon. They could save her, they could help. He prayed for all hope, begged God to help her out. It was in his hands, nothing more could Elliot do, there was nothing left to do other than pray and hope.

The paramedics finally arrived and began the dissent down the steps to where Detective Benson laid prone to the world, bent and twisted from her fall. Elliot scooted back so the EMT's could begin their work, fear evident in his eyes. What more could he do? The EMT's voices echoed in his ears… "She's not breathing… we need to bag her." "Got it, her pulse is dropping.." On and on their systematic procedures echoed, Elliot staggered back, just staring as the seen played out before him. Slowly reality crept it, with no thought as to what he was doing, he shakily lifted his phone from his pocket and began to dial their captain.