Three Reasons


"Please, Colonel."


"Aww, come on…"

"I said no, Fullmetal.—hey, what are you mmnph!"



"I never would have guessed coffee could taste so good secondhand."

"It'll stunt your—get your hand out of there!"

"Hmm…in comparison, I'd say my growth is far from stunted."


"Not so loud, idiot, you want Hawkeye to come bursting in here? Hey, let go of my arms!"

"Not until you give me three good reasons, Ed. Three good reasons to break every military and social rule about fraternization, homosexual relations and the age of consent."

"You've seen me eat, haven't you?"


"Well, that's reason number one."

"Your ability to inhale your food is supposed to turn me on?"

"I have no gag reflex, you bastard."


"And you've seen me spar with Al, right? And working out at the base gym once in a while?"

"Yes, nobody's denying you're an unusually well-muscled and attractive fifteen-year-old, and you're certainly strong—"

"I can do a full split, Roy."


"Also, I can suck my own dick."

"Go lock the door."

"Don't you want to hear reason #3?"