Evacuation of the Flumpawumps.

He tiredly navigated the corridors of the castle on his way back to his room, skillfully dodging the nightly prefect patrols.

Turning down another corridor in the veritable maze that was Hogwarts, he silently cursed the name of Draco Malfoy – It had been a long night of following the prick, and Harry was looking forward to a lengthy and uninterrupted sleep.

After climbing the stairs up the tower, two at a time, he came to the common room's entrance – the fat lady was snoring in a most undignified way.

In his rush to make it to be, he absentmindedly said the password, and made his way to the dorm.

As he spread the curtains of his four poster and slipped into bed, he was careful to keep silent – he couldn't wake his roommates, could he?

He fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

Given his constant nightmares, good dreams were few and far between.

This was a good dream. Scratch that, this was a VERY good dream.

A flock of gorgeous Veela pin-up models had gotten lost on a cross country trip. Being the only bloke in range, they asked him directions. They were so grateful for the help that they decided a reward was in store.

The plot was too far-fetched for a low budget adult film, but dream-Harry was quite happy with it.

Just as the Veela found interest in a certain part of his male anatomy, he was abruptly awoken to the sound of a particularly loud snore from his red-headed roommate.

For some reason Harry had a sudden urge to cry

A whole flock of Veela!

He practically whimpered.

However all thoughts of self-pity instantly dissipated when he noticed something was happening under his sheets... at that very moment.

All those buxom Veela had perhaps disappeared, but the sensations emanating from his groin had most definitely NOT.

Curious and very much aroused, Harry peaked under his covers and was enormously shocked to see a pair of silvery grey eyes peering back up at him.

Never losing eye contact, she removed her mouth from his member with a loud slurping sound. She put her hand on his todger, and gave it a squeeze.

With a bright smile on her face she said, "Hello Harry."

She pumped her hand up and down in a slow motion, each stroke making the smile on her face grow wider and wider.

Harry looked at her a few seconds and blinked. Waiting a moment, he blinked again. Taking a few seconds to remember that he did in fact have a voice he quietly whispered, "Uh, Luna?"

Luna – who had resumed working his bits with her mouth – stopped the suction, and let go of his penis with a audible 'pop'. She then replied, "Yes Harry?"

At a loss for words, Harry simply asked, "What's uh... 'goin on?"

"Oh not much Harry, how are you?" She answered, while pumping him rather vigorously under the blanket.

Harry was again left without much to say. "I'm fine... but well... what are you doing Luna?" He asked.

He then followed that with a rather loud grunt.

"I'm giving you a hand-job at the moment Harry, but that's only because a blow-job requires the use of a mouth and I need that to talk to you at the moment."

Huh, good answer...

"But... why did you decide to sneak into my dorm and give me a... Blow-job?" Harry asked.

Slowing her pace a bit, Luna looked at him for a second then deadpanned, "Flumpawumps, of course."

Detaching her hand, she quickly devoured his fully erect wand whole. He gave a low moan, and in response she applied some suction and started bobbing her head back and forth; each motion punctuated with a rhythmic slurping noise.

Harry threw back his head and let out another loud grunt. Giving himself a few seconds to formulate a response, he then asked, "Luna – Oh Merlin! – what's a Flumpawump?"

Luna, as if not hearing him, continued to suck and caress his member in her mouth with her tongue.

Harry let out a low moan and before saying, "Luna?"

With a nice slow lick from base to tip, she stopped at the top. Gripping him firmly in her small hand, she started to pump his throbbing member once again.

Waiting a beat she answered, "Flumpawumps accumulate in teenage boys and make them do silly things such as: trip over their words near girls, follow blond haired boys around in the halls, or in rare cases boys will start to wear robes with weird moving objects in them and have creepy twinkling eyes. There is no cure if one were to let the Flumpawumps run rampant, so I'm sucking out the Flumpawumps while I still can." Taking a deep breath, she put her mouth back to work.

"Sooo… If you don't do this I turn into a pouf?"

She muttered an affirmative with her mouth full.

At this point Harry was breathing in short deep breaths. He knew he didn't have much time left.

He raised his head for a moment and looked around the room to see if anyone was aware of what was going on. All's clear.

Seeing no one, he looked back to Luna and saw that she had picked up her pace. She was pumping him furiously while sucking alternately between his dangly bits.

"Luna... I'm almost there!" he gasped between breaths.

Hearing him, she quickened her pace, and placed her mouth at the tip; gently applying suction.

He suddenly threw his head back on the pillow and let out a load moan.


As he came, she continued stroking him; letting him ride the wave. Her mouth, clamped firmly over his staff, was filled with his seed in spurts as she continued to suck.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head as it felt like it would never end. Then it did.

Even after the climax, she continued to tug lightly; milking out what was left. After licking the tip one last time, she swallowed all that remained in her mouth with a loud gulp.

She looked up at Harry with a bright smile.

After getting to her knees, she crawled to Harry's side. Leaning over to his ear, she whispered, "That was fun Harry, but I wasn't able to get them all."

She slid her legs off the side of the bed, and got to her feet. She started to walk away, but after a couple steps she turned and said, "We'll have to do this again to make sure we get them all."

Gathering his scattered brain, Harry then asked, "But when you um... do you have the uh... thingies... now?"

She let out a giggle and replied, "Girls can't get Flumpawumps, silly!"

She turned and walked out the door.

As she made her way to the portrait she let out a short laugh.

Because Flumpawumps don't exist!

(AN: March 22, 2010)

I rewrote much of this chapter, I hope its more readable now.