You Know You're A Pervert When…
Rated: Mature for innuendo.
Summary: Compared to most teenagers, Katara considered herself to be rather innocent. This is the story of the day she learned that she wasn't innocent in the slightest.
Disclaimer: (checks bank account) Nope, I get no money for "Avatar: The Last Airbender" or from writing this fanfiction.
LES: The episode "Bitter Work" is full of sexual innuendo. So I'm changing it around a little, adding an eavesdropping Katara, and you've got yourself a perfect mix for an epic misunderstanding. Aang's a tiny bit OOC, since I'm making him… territorial. If you are too young to understand that there was sexual innuendo in the episode, then turn back now.
Katara considered herself to be a lot of things, but a pervert was not one of those things.
She had met plenty of girls her age on her travels, and they all seemed to be obsessed with one thing: boys. Just… BOYS!
No, it wasn't like Katara wasn't interested in boys, or the thought of being married and having a family some day. It was just that, she had bigger things to worry about at the moment. Traveling the world, avoiding the Fire Nation, helping Aang on his quest to master the elements, and ending a century-long war. Compared to that, boys didn't seem like that big of a deal at the moment.
But the girls who did not have such responsibilities would only talk about a single topic: who they liked, who they hoped liked them, who was going out with who, and in the extreme cases, what they were doing together.
Katara had a few crushes, she had never had a boyfriend, and she had kissed exactly one boy who wasn't her brother. But the circumstances had forced her to kiss Aang inside the Cave of Two Lovers. Not that she didn't enjoy the very brief lip-lock. Still, that was the full extent of Katara's knowledge of boys.
She knew the process of birth, but had little knowledge of sex.
Katara could not say how glad she was when Toph joined the group to teach Aang Earthbending. She thought she was finally going to get another girl to relate too… a girl who was twelve years old and probably not very interested in boys.
To her shock, Toph turned out to be more boyish than Sokka and Aang… Aang, especially. One thing was clear now: Toph wore the pants in the group.
And then the day finally came for Toph to begin Aang's Earthbending instruction. One thing quickly became clear: their personalities were having a hard time co-existing. Toph was blunt and straightforward, and she quickly became frustrated with Aang for his giving personality.
So that was how things stood now. Aang was off somewhere, meditating; and Toph had gone off somewhere complaining about how she knew prissy society boys with more testosterone than Aang.
Katara walked aimlessly around camp, looking for Sokka. He had gone out looking for food hours ago, and was yet to return. The sun was going down, and she was starting to get a little worried.
As she wandered, she came upon the sounds of a loud argument going on just a little further along the canyon, just out of sight.
"Come on, Aang, what's the big deal?" Toph said loudly.
"Just let go, Toph!" Aang responded angrily. This caused Katara to pause in her steps. She had rarely ever heard Aang get mad. "Let go of my nuts!"
It was at this point that Katara went from mildly interested to extremely shocked! But before she could decide if the conversation she was hearing was dirty or clean, it continued.
"It's not like you're using them, at all!" Toph said sarcastically.
"I was! Eventually!" Aang retorted.
"Oh sure, I believe that. You were just gonna let these fine nuts go to waste."
"Let go, Toph!"
Katara's hands were firmly pressed to her mouth to stop from releasing an amazed gasp. She began to wonder if one twelve year old could sexually harass another twelve year old. Ask her this morning, and she would have snorted and said 'Of course not!' Now, she wasn't so sure. It certainly sounded like Toph was doing something to Aang's… something's that he didn't like.
It only got worse.
There was a slight pause, where Katara only heard the sounds of movement coming from their direction, and then Aang spoke again. "Hey, wait… first my nuts… now my staff?"
Katara almost choked, but she managed to get herself under control in time to hear Toph's reply.
"Sure. We gotta put this thing to use, since you obviously are too much of a wimp to use it properly."
"Oh, sure, like you know more than I do about staffs. I've been using it since I was a little boy." Aang replied.
Katara blushed. The thought that Aang had… experience before they met was strange… and it was even stranger that he claimed to have experience since he was a little boy. What did they do in those Temples?!? Katara thought to herself, shocked beyond words.
There was more movement, and then Aang's incessant voice sounded loud and clear. "Toph, stop it!"
"What? Aren't you glad that your nuts and staff are in the hands of a master Earthbender now?" Toph responded.
Katara couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't going to just stand by ideally while a member of the team was sexually harassed by another member of the team! They were all supposed to be friends! Besides, she couldn't allow Aang to be hurt by someone who was supposed to be his teacher, someone he needed to respect.
She steeled herself for whatever she was going to find around the curve of the canyon, and stepped around it with a loud "Just what is going on here?!?" And she froze on the spot.
She had prepared herself to walk in on some depraved sexual act, but that was actually the furthest thing from what she saw. The most provocative thing going on was that Aang and Toph were rolling around in the dirt. But that's where all thoughts of inappropriateness ended.
What she saw instead was Toph fending off Aang as he tried to grab at the two objects she was holding in her hands. In one hand, she held Aang's Airbending staff just out of his reach; and in the other, a little bag that Katara recognized as Aang's snack bag which, now that she thought about it, had been filled with nuts at their last stop.
So Toph had literally stolen Aang's staff and nuts, just not in the way she had originally thought.
At Katara's yell, the two pre-teens stopped their fighting and gazed up and Katara. They froze in a most awkward position that caused Katara to think about her misinterpretations over their conversation just moments ago. Aang was stretched over Toph, trying to forcefully pin her down with his body. While she fended off his attempts to trap her by digging her foot into his abdomen.
Toph gazed at her, upside down, from her position under Aang. "What does it look like we're doing, Sweetness? Haven't you ever seen a fight before?"
"You're the one who started it by stealing my nuts! Give them back, I'm hungry." Aang complained.
Katara sighed and stepped forward; snatching the staff and nuts from Toph's grip and giving them back to Aang.
Oh my Spirits. Katara thought to herself. I really am a pervert!
LES: Really, Bryke couldn't have made the innuendo more obvious. Ah, I just love misunderstandings. They are the greatest!