Title: Four Times Jim Kirk Surprised Janice Rand (and the One Time She Surprised Him)
Pairing: nu!Kirk/Rand
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: I do take from two episodes of season one of the original series, Charlie X and The Enemy Within, so there are spoilers for those episodes.
Summary: Janice does what she does best, which is getting things done. Jim Kirk just keeps getting in the way.

This was written for the ladies1st fic exchange. Many, many thanks go to my beta. fringedweller.

That Time They First Met

The first few days after the Narada incident, while the Enterprise and it's crew limped along, Janice did her best to be invisible. Really. The crew and the ship had enough going on, so she did what she did best.

Janice got things done.

She made sure the other yeomen knew that their main priority was to take any trivial tasks away from their superior officers, she liaised with all the ship's departments to stay aware of their needs and finally she made absolutely sure that the basics, such as the mess and the laundry, were functioning as smoothly as possible.

Always make sure a soldier has food in his stomach and clean socks, her grandfather told her once. If you can provide that for him he'll follow you into hell.

She made sure any messages for Captain Pike went through her first and then the ones that were most urgent were sent on to sickbay. He'd talked to her very briefly after his first surgery and told her the main thing he really needed from her.

"Just give Kirk some help," he said looking rather worn out in his bed in sickbay, but with eyes that were still sharp and saw everything. "He's acting captain and he may need some hand-holding while I'm in here. He doesn't really have any practical experience and I'm entrusting you to make sure things keep running."

Janice had smiled and said, "Don't worry, Captain. I'll make sure the paperwork doesn't strangle him."

"Thank you, Yeoman," Pike said with a weak smile. "You know one of the reasons you were assigned to the Enterprise was your ability to manage and prioritize tough situations with grace. I know you can handle him."

Except, Janice was not so sure she could.

The guy had managed to pull off the impossible (improbable, a voice in her head corrected) and the entire crew was either in awe or extremely wary of him. Janice wasn't quite sure where she fell in the spectrum. She respected the heck out of him for rescuing Pike, but she believed rules were there for a reason and Kirk did break... Well, Janice wasn't even sure that the rules he'd broken were actually written down anywhere, as everything he'd done was so magnificently beyond belief.

But, she had her orders.

So, first thing every morning, she went in to the captain's office and set up his schedule for the day, copying in communications so they'd be able to find him when Starfleet needed to discuss the current situation. She left messages on the captain's log that informed him of everything she'd arranged and asked him to contact her if he has any questions. Essentially, she did everything she could for him without actually seeing him or even talking to him.

It felt kind of ideal. And since he never messaged her, she figured he had everything under control.

Janice felt quite proud and started to find an equilibrium within herself that had been missing since Vulcan.

Then she actually met him.

Janice arrived at the captain's office bright and early and let herself in. She went straight for the desk to upload the day's schedule when a large "Ha!" was shouted behind her.

She dropped her PADD on the desk with a clatter and spun around with a loud, "Holy crap! What the hell?"

This was Janice Rand's first up close and personal look at Jim Kirk.


His eyes really were as blue as the rumors indicated and he wasn't as tall as she thought he'd be.

He frowned and looked her over, taking in her red uniform, shiny boots and pulled back blonde hair.

"You're not Spock," he said finally.

"Ah, no. No, I'm not," she said her hand pressed against her stomach that was suddenly filled with spastic butterflies.

"But, you are the person who's been straightening up in here and leaving me schedules everyday?"

Janice nodded, not trusting herself to speak quite yet.

"Right. Okay. Not to be rude," Kirk said with a hint of a smile, "but I honestly have no idea who you are."

"I'm Janice Rand," she said straightening up and fighting the urge to check her hair. "I'm the captain's yeoman. Your yeoman, actually, until Pike can leave sickbay. Didn't you get my message of introduction?"

"My... Wow. Okay. No, I didn't get any message," he said.

"Well, I sent it to your inbox," she said.

"I have an inbox?" he asked.

"Yes, of course you do," she said. "It's on your PADD, one of the windows below the schedule. Haven't you been reading them?"

"Um, no," he said.

"What?" she asked her eyes going wide thinking of all the messages she and god knew how many others had left him. "Oh dear. How have you been getting anything done?"

"Magic?" he said with a grin. Janice felt her jaw drop. "No, no kidding. I've been following the schedule you leave and just making myself useful. People tend to just find me. I was blaming it on Uhura's special powers, but now I think I have to blame it on you."

He smiled suddenly and held out his hand. "Jim Kirk, by the way," he said. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Janice said in a slight daze shaking the offered hand. "I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself sooner, but I knew you were busy."

"No problem," he said. "When I noticed that the office was neat every morning and I had new stuff to do, I figure that Spock was either playing nursemaid or I was going crazy." He shrugged. "Nice to know it's neither."

"Yes, well," Janice said "Now that I'm here, let me show you how to get your messages and upload your tasks for the day."

"Cool," he said coming to stand next to her as she tapped his PADD to life. She showed him his inbox and informed him of the progress each of the departments were making on repairs. She showed him all the reports they'd submitted over the last week and a half.

"Huh," he said scanning the report Engineering sent through. "I didn't realize Pike had to deal with all of this."

Janice looked at him, taking in how young he actually was (not much older than you, she thought) and asked, "You do know that being captain is more than just daring-do and leaping off things?"

"I'm beginning to get that impression," he said quirking a corner of his lips. "Well, lead on, Yeoman Janice Rand, what do I need to do first?"

They discussed the inner workings of the ship a while longer and Janice stopped them when Kirk was due to talk to Starfleet.

"Thank you," he said with a full-on Jim Kirk smile that absolutely did not do things to her tummy.

"Not a problem," she said. "It's my job."

She gave him a quick smile and turned to leave.

"You know I think we're going to have some good times together, Yeoman," he said as the doors opened.

Janice turned and asked, "Really? What makes you say that?"

"Oh, well, clearly anyone who can manage to use the phrase 'daring-do' with a straight face is a person worth knowing," he said with a grin that definitely did do stuff to her tummy.

Janice held it together, nodded and turned to leave. She let a little smile escape as she walked out of the office.

When she was offered the position again as captain's yeoman, only this time serving under Jim Kirk, she said yes.

That Time With Charlie

Janice had little cause over the next year to regret her decision to serve on the Enterprise. She made a small circle of friends and was generally content in her position. Being on Starfleet's flagship meant that new and exciting experiences were practically everyday occurrences.

Not to mention the fact that working with Jim Kirk was the most challenging experience of them all.

He was driven and an exceptional captain with a moral code that never wavered. Throw a raging Klingon at him and he knew exactly what to do.

However, he was hopeless when it came to bureaucracy.

"How many requisition forms can one department submit in a quarter?"

"As many as they want, captain."

"Well, how on earth do I tell them to suck it and ask next year without coming off as callous?"

"I suggest saying something along the lines of there are limited resources and if they truly wish to follow this line of experimentation, they should re-prioritize their current workload and give up one of their ongoing projects that's yielding fewer results."

"When was the last time I complimented you on your diplomatic jargon?"

"Yesterday. But a person never tires of hearing nice things, captain."

"You rock, yeoman."

"Thank you kindly."

Staff meetings were spent taking minutes and fighting off Kirk's attempts to play hangman via PADD to PADD messaging.

JK: your turn. pick a consonant this time.
JR: you really should be listening to this, sir. it's rather important.
JK: raaaannnnd
JR: …
JR: how about 'v'?
JK: oooh. good try. but no. your hangman now has both legs and one arm. guess again.
JR: if I get the right answer will you pay attention?
JK: promise. X my heart. :D
JR: 'bones is a grumpy old man'
JK: …
JK: how did you do that?
JR: you always pick the same phrase. you're not actually very good at this game.
JR: …
JR: sir.
JK: you're something of a smartass aren't you, yeoman?
JR: i couldn't possibly say, sir. commander spock is about to give his summary of the upcoming mission and you promised.
JK: yes, mistress

Amazingly enough, they were a good team. Reports were submitted to Starfleet on time and after a few weeks, Janice rarely had to remind Kirk to update his captain's log.

Then Charlie came aboard.

"A crush?"

Janice steeled her spine. "Captain, I'm being serious."

"As you should be," Kirk said with a straight face and sparkling eyes.

"Captain," Janice said in her stern voice.

"No, no," he said. "Express your concerns, I know you've got them."

Janice told him her worries about the young man, how powerful he most likely was and what kind of trouble that power in the hands of a adolescent could cause.

"I know it's only a crush," Janice said at last.

"And honestly, who could blame the kid?" Kirk said.

Janice closed her eyes in exasperation.

"Sorry, sorry. Look, I see your point, Janice," he said still fighting off a grin. "But, I'm not going to walk on eggshells around him."

"I'm not saying you should," Janice said. "But, we should certainly tread carefully."

Jim tilted his head. "How many more platitudes that reference mobility do you think we can come up with?"

"Oh, well, now you're just dancing around the subject, captain," Janice said hiding a smirk.

Kirk groaned. "I shouldn't have asked. Just be careful and the moment you feel something is off, let me know. I'll alert the rest of the senior officers."

"Thank you, captain," she said.

"By the way," Kirk said as she approached the doors, "he's got good taste."

The blush that spread over Janice's face completely negated the glare she sent in the captain's direction.

Later, Janice sat by herself in the mess. Her hands were wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate that she couldn't bring herself to drink. She closed her eyes and just listened to the sounds of the ship, the people chatting amongst themselves at nearby tables, the hum of the engines, the clatter of dishes in the kitchen.

Janice listened so hard to those noises, hoping they'd drown out the way her name had sounded as Charlie cried it as he was taken away. Hoping they'd also drown out the silence and the cold that had enveloped her in the moment she'd been wished away.

She heard someone sit in the chair opposite her. Janice sighed.

"I'm okay," she said automatically.

"I know you are," Kirk said.

Janice opened her eyes to see Kirk staring back at her with an emotion in his eyes that she didn't dare name.

"My hot chocolate's gone cold," she whispered.

"I can get you another one," he said.

"Maybe in a little while," she said. She closed her eyes again. "I don't suppose you would talk to me?"

"About what?" he asked.

Janice opened her eyes and said quietly, "Anything."

Kirk stared back at her and then nodded. "Did you know that Sulu has a new plant that sings? Apparently it can do 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' and 'We Got the Beat'. I blame Chekov for 'Twinkle, Twinkle' and Sulu for the 1980s revival."

Janice closed her eyes and listened.

That Time With the Chair

"Janice? Jan? Come on, Yeoman, up and at 'em."

Janice tried to open her eyes but her eyelids felt like they'd been weighted down. She moved her head from the firm and familiar smelling pillow.

Oh. Ow.

She groaned as the weights on her eyelids crashed into her brain.

"That a girl. I need your help, Jannie. Let's go."

"Don't call me that," she mumbled. Then awareness started to settle in. She was sitting on something. 'Straddling' might actually be a more accurate term. Something that smelled and sounded an awful lot like her captain. Janice let out a tiny whimper.

"Hey, it's okay. Are you okay? Janice? Are you okay? Yeah, you really need to look at me now."

"I'm okay," Janice said. She slowly lifted her head and found herself looking directly into Jim Kirk's blue eyes.

"Hi," he said with a little smile.

"Hi," she whispered. Janice swallowed hard and bit her lip. "I'm on your lap, aren't I?"

"Yes," the captain said. "Yes, you are."

"Oh, okay," Janice said. She glanced down and the full picture of their position smacked her in the face. Kirk was sitting upright in a chair that was bolted to the floor, his legs shackled to the front chair legs and his arms were shackled to the armrests. She sat directly on his lap, her legs shackled to the back legs of the chair and her arms rested on Kirk's shoulders because her hands were handcuffed to the back of the chair behind his head.

"Wow. Right. Starfleet is definitely not going to agree to those tenets the Telosians want to add to the treaty."

"Agreed. Tying up two Starfleet officers is not the best way to make friends and influence people," Kirk said with a grimace as he flexed his leg muscles and tried to pull his arms from the shackles on the chair. This in turn jostled Janice and she startled a bit at the movement. Kirk murmured an apology.

Janice rolled her shoulders a bit to loosen them and the handcuffs clanged on the metal of the chair. She leaned to the side a little (ignoring that she was actually in the cradle of his arms. The cradle!) to see how they worked.

"You know, it's entirely possible I can pick the lock on these things," she said. "They're not that complicated looking."

"Awesome, but, and not to harsh your buzz, with what exactly?" Kirk asked fidgeting once again in the chair and Janice totally ignored the way it felt to be sitting. in. his. lap.

"A hair pin," she said looking at him.

He just stared back at her.

"A hair pin?" he asked. "You actually have a hair pin?"

"How else do you think my hair stays up?" she asked. "Hair pins, they're everyone's friend."

"Well, I've always liked them," he said. "How are you going to reach one?"

"Oh, well, actually," Janice said with a wince. "You're going to have to get it."

Kirk rattled his arms in the shackles, raised his eyebrows and asked, "How, oh clever one?"

Janice squeezed her eyes shut. "Your teeth?"


"My -- huh. Yeah, I can do that," he said. Janice's eyes flew open. He grinned at her. "Lean your head down."

"You're going to do it? You don't think it's a stupid idea?" she asked. "Or make a joke?"

"Oh, I definitely think its an incredibly absurd idea, but we don't really have much choice," Kirk said. "My brute strength doesn't seem to be doing the trick. I may as well search for a hairpin with my teeth."

"Right, well, okay," Janice said. "There should be one right next to the top of my head."


Janice felt her face turn red the second she bowed her head and thrust it in the general direction of the captain's mouth. She was inordinately grateful that she'd chosen a simple style for the treaty negotiations with only the top half of her hair pulled back. Then she felt him nuzzle her hair. And dear god above, her captain was nuzzling her hair. How did this happen?

His face moved down and she could swear that his lips briefly touched the top of her ear. Janice shivered. Kirk stopped. He let out a little puff of air and she felt him tense. Then he started to nuzzle again.

"Ah!" he said. Janice assumed he found something because he started to nudge at her hair in one spot. He let out a wordless exclamation and began to pull out a hairpin. Strands of her hair caught and pulled at her scalp as he got the pin out. A lock of hair fell from it's place and softly hit the side of her neck. "Ot ih."

Janice straightened and sure enough, Kirk had a hairpin clenched in his teeth. She smiled and really wished she had a camera.

"Good work, captain," she said.

He grinned around the hairpin and waggled his eyebrows. Not stopping to think about what she had to do, Janice just leaned forward and bit the end of the hairpin that protruded from Kirk's mouth. When she pulled away, hairpin firmly clenched in her teeth, Kirk's eyes were wide.

"Wow. You just went for it, didn't you?" he said. Then he smiled. "Well, your turn. Show me those secret criminal skills of yours."

Janice rolled her eyes and leaned forward and to the side to get the hairpin close enough for her fingers to take it. She pressed against Kirk's chest and used her legs to push her up a little to reach her trapped hands. Her fingers made contact with the hairpin and she sat back a little. Kirk didn't make a sound. Janice tried to stick the pin into the lock mechanism but couldn't quite see. She lifted herself up again and pressed even more into Kirk, her face smack against his neck and ear.

This time Kirk made a slight sound and shifted in the chair. Janice grimaced as she struggled to fit the pin in. She let out a little cry of triumph when it slotted in. She wiggled slightly in place and then leaned into Kirk again.

"Okay," Kirk said. "You need to stop that."

"Stop what?" she asked absently trying to feel out the inside of the lock.


"I'm almost there," she said sitting back and then lifting herself up again.

"Yeoman, stop now!" he practically shouted.

Janice leaned back on his lap fully and stared at Kirk who was staring at the ceiling. She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong when she felt what was wrong. Janice's mouth snapped shut. And did not look down at his lap.

"Oh," she said.


"Um, sorry?" she offered.

Kirk chuckled and said, "I'm fairly sure that's my line."

"No, I mean, it's fine," she said quickly.

"Only fine?"

"I can ignore it," she said.

"Oh, sure, kick a man when he's down," Kirk groaned.

"I thought it was the fact that you weren't down that was the problem," Janice said without thinking.

"No," he said sharply. "No snarking, Jan."

They stared at each other and Janice felt herself fighting the urge to stare at his lips the way he was staring at hers.

"It's just friction, right?" Janice asked quietly.

"Oh, Janice. I wish it were just the friction," he said in a voice that made her mouth go dry.

"Captain," she started hesitantly.

"Yeah, I know. Unlock us, yeoman," he said.

Janice nodded and started to pick the lock again, ignoring Kirk's gritted teeth and closed eyes.

She got them unlocked and Kirk managed to get them out of the cell they were trapped in and into the open where they were immediately beamed up to the Enterprise.

The treaty did not pass and the captain had a hard time looking Janice in the eyes.

But a week later, a small box appeared on her desk containing a shiny new set of silver hairpins.

That Time with the Enemy Within

Janice walked into her room still pondering the new regulations Starfleet had just sent through and wondering if she should begin the report on the current situation on Alpha 177. She waved her lights on and set her PADD down on her desk.

"Hello, Janice."

Janice yelped and spun around.

Jim Kirk was seated in her sole armchair, his eyes fixed on her.

"Captain?" she asked. "What? I thought you were headed off to sickbay?"

"Why would I go to sickbay, Janice?" he asked and he stood up slowly. "Do I look sick to you?"

"Is that a trick question?" she asked a little unsteadily.

Kirk smiled lazily and walked towards her. Stalked towards her. Janice felt her mouth go dry.

"Um, captain? Are you okay?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm fine, Janice," he said. He took a deep breath. "You smell incredible."

"Ah, thank you?" she said.

Suddenly, he was right there in front of her. She took a step back only to run into her desk. He leaned in and took her hand.

Kirk, Jim, lifted her hand and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her palm.

Janice was pretty sure she squeaked. "What are you doing?"

"Tasting you," he said. He grinned at her and pressed another kiss to the pulse in her wrist.

"But," she said breathlessly, "you can't."

"Can't I?" He pulled her to him and she was pressed against his chest, his hand splayed possessively on her lower back. "Why not?"

"Because..." she tried to say but his mouth was on her neck and he was nipping lightly at the spot right below her ear.

"You know you want me to," he whispered. "I know I've always wanted to. Tell me you haven't thought about this, Janice? How it would feel to just fall into each other? Touch each other? Tell me you haven't imagined it, Janice."

"I... I can't," she said.

"Good girl," he said. Then his mouth covered hers.

It was a harsh kiss, bruising and deep. His hands were rough on her skin as they rucked up her dress. She gasped and he took the opportunity to plunder her mouth to the point where she almost couldn't breathe. She pulled away and gulped for air. Kirk went for her neck, biting and sucking her fair skin.

"Wait," she said shakily. "No, we can't."

"Oh, yes, we can," he said into her skin. "We can. We can take anything we want. Why can't we grab what we want, when we want it? What is there to stop us?"

Janice froze at the frightening tone of his voice and the darkness of his eyes.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"I'm your captain," he said. He grinned mirthlessly at her and took possession of her mouth again. Janice felt revulsion bubble up and she fought back.. She wrenched her mouth away with a yell and immediately went into self-defense mode.

She kicked his ankle as hard as she could. He fell back with a growl and she took the opportunity to rake her nails across his face. He howled and clapped a hand to his face.

Janice ran.

A few weeks later, Janice found herself staring moodily at her lunch tray while eating with Christine Chapel. The two women had bonded over their respective difficult bosses ages ago and often met for lunch to compare horror stories.

"He's fine, you know," Christine said to her. "He was in for a follow-up with Doctor McCoy after the transporter procedure. He's all together and there haven't been any side effects."

"I know," Janice said spearing a piece of lettuce. "That's not what's bothering me."

"What's wrong then?" Christine asked.

"He's being nice," Janice said after she ate a bite.

"Gasp. Shock. Oh, the horror of it all," Christine deadpanned.

"Stop it! I'm serious," Janice said. "You're supposed to help."

"Well, I will as soon as you translate the crazy into sense," the nurse said with a kind smile.

"He remembered my birthday. He got me an anthology of mysteries that I'd been wanting," Janice said. "Christine, he's being nice.

"And this is a bad thing?" Christine asked. "I mean, obviously, he's trying to be adult about the whole situation. I'm kind of impressed actually."

"He's not saying anything though," Janice said. "He's treating me like nothing's changed. Like what happened didn't actually happen."

"And you want him to treat you how?" Christine asked. "I mean, he could be ignoring you."

"I know, I know," Janice said as she propped her arm up on the table and cupped her jaw. "I guess I don't know what I want."

"Really?" Christine asked with a look Janice was sure she got from Leonard McCoy.

Janice sighed and looked down at her salad, not answering. Then, with a withering look aimed at her friend, she blatantly took one of Christine's cookies.

That Time with Janice's New Job

"What the hell is this?" Kirk demanded the second Janice walked into the captain's quarters.

Janice looked at the captain in surprise. "What is what?"

"This! Yeoman- Janice, you're leaving the Enterprise?" Kirk asked coming to stand in front of his desk.

"Oh. You got Admiral Pike's letter," she said.

"Yes, yes, I did," he said. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because I only agreed to it a few days ago," Janice said calmly. "It promises to be a good program, I really think it'll benefit--"

"Yeah, yeah, right," Kirk said. "I thought you liked it here."

"I do like it here," Janice said taking a step forward. "How can you think differently?"

"Oh, maybe because I just got orders to release you from service so you can begin your new position as..." Kirk glanced down at the PADD on his desk. "An ambassadorial liaison. Is this what you want?"

"Captain, what do I do?" Janice asked. "What, exactly, is my job?"

"You make sure things run smoothly, you get me to my meetings on time," Kirk said. "Damn it, Janice, you make sure this ship keeps going. You make sure I keep going."

Janice felt like dancing. She settled for smiling broadly.

"Exactly. I smooth things over. I make sure all the parties come to some sort of agreement," she said. "Why wouldn't I want a chance to work in a more diplomatic capacity?"

Kirk didn't say anything, but looked thoughtful.

"I'm still going to be around, you know," she said. "You're not getting completely rid of me."

"But... We're rendezvousing with the Exeter on their way back to Earth so you can get a lift back," he said now looking wonderfully confused.

"Yes, for my training," Janice said. "Then I'll catch back up with the Enterprise with my team."


Janice shook her head. "You really are going to have to learn to read the entire letter and not wait for me to summarize it. I doubt your new yeoman will let you get away with that kind of laziness."

Kirk narrowed his eyes and then grabbed the PADD to read the rest of the message. Janice clasped her hands behind her back and rocked on her feet, not bothering to hide her grin.

"You're going to be part of the pilot team and assigned to the Enterprise," he said. He looked up at her. "I should really start reading the entire message."

Janice laughed.

Kirk chuckled and looked down. "I'll miss having you as my yeoman."

"I'll miss being your yeoman," she said. "But, look on the bright side. You won't get to boss me around any more."

"How's that the bright side?" he asked with a grin.

"Well, maybe it's my bright side," she said.

Suddenly, Kirk stopped grinning. "Wait. I don't get to boss you around any more?"

"Nope," Janice said happily. "I mean, you're still my captain and I'll follow your lead, but technically, I'm under Admiral Pike's command..."

Janice trailed off and met Kirk's intense gaze.

"So, technically, if I wanted to ask you to dinner sometime, I could?" Kirk said.

"Technically," Janice said.

"And if I want to give you a hug the next time a power-hungry teenaged boy breaks your heart, I'm free to do so?" he asked taking a step towards her.

"Fairly free," she said quietly taking a step of her own.

"And if at three in the morning I get struck with the urge to just be near you..." he said.

Janice stepped forward and pressed her hand on his chest. "My door will be open."